Tips to stop overeating, stop emotional eating, stop eating fast food, stop eating junk food
7 Resources to Help You Stop Binge Eating – Resource #2: Family Support
This post is Part 2 of the 7 part series 7 Resources to Help You Stop Binge Eating…to get more tips on how to quickly stop binge eating and start losing weight please subscribe to my free email newsletter here.
The second resource is a very powerful one that many people choose NOT to take advantage of. It can actually bring up a lot of sensitive issues and I will do my best to address those issues, however I hope that you approach it with an open mind and give it a try….
Resource #2 is seeking the support of your family to stop binge eating…
I’m guessing your mind is already coming up with several reasons why this is a bad idea, but bear with me here and let me explain….
You’re probably thinking, how can I ask my family for support when I’ve kept my binge eating a secret for a while now? I’m so ashamed of it, and you want me to tell my family? Are you crazy?
I get it, you probably do most of your binge eating in secret and try to keep up appearances of healthy eating habits in front of others or when eating in public. I use to do the same thing…
Why did I do this? Because honestly I cared more about what others thought of me than I cared about recovering. To me it was more important to appear “normal” to others than to admit I had a problem…
You see I had this big ego and was trying to protect it…my ego kind of deceived me, it made me think that everyone around me saw me as this really smart, motivated and health conscious person, so how could I disappoint them and tell them about my binge eating? how would they take it? would it change my relationship with them? would it change the way they looked at me? would they think I’m strange or have a mental disability of some sort?
You see all those worries were generated by my ego, if you can relate to this then your ego is probably deceiving you too…How is it deceiving you?
Because in many ways all those questions are complete non-sense. If you’ve been trying to stop binge eating now for a while then guess what? no matter how much you try to hide your binge foods or your actual binge eating, your family has probably noticed here and there and might even already have an idea…
Even if you’re an expert when it comes to binge eating in secret you think your family doesn’t notice your sudden changes in weight? you think they don’t notice the sudden changes in your mood and/or exercise habits? you think they don’t notice how one week you’re all about eating healthy and being active and the next you feel defeated and ready to give up?
What I’m trying to say is that if you’ve been dealing with binge eating for a while now, chances are your family already knows about it, or at least has an idea that there is something going on with your eating habits, so when you do seek their support, they will NOT be shocked or anything….
Besides overeating is so common these days, with the majority of our population being overweight it’s obvious that most of us cannot control what we eat. It’s actually kind of funny to me how if I’m watching television all I see is mostly skinny people and an occasional overweight person here and there, yet when I go out to a big public gathering here in my city, it’s the opposite, I see mostly overweight people and only a few skinny people.
So why am I trying to get you to seek your family’s support to stop binge eating? Chances are you spend a lot of time around your family and if you can get them on “your side” or trying to help you stop binge eating, it can really help you along your recovery.
Now there are different stages to seeking your family’s support, and it’s up to you how far you wanna go with it, I suggest you only take it one step at a time….
Stage 1: Pick one family member who you’re closest to or feel is the most open minded and would support you and start to casually talk to them about overeating, how many people are overweight, how sometimes junk foods can feel addictive etc. At this stage you’re NOT telling them anything private or personal about yourself, you’re simply bringing up the topic…
Stage 2: Sit them down or take them out for lunch or to a setting where you can comfortably talk with them one and one and start telling them about your binge eating, be open and courageous, tell them how it started, where you’re at now etc. If you’re open and honest chances are they’ll be sympathetic and very understanding and will even ask you how they can help?
Tell them that at this stage you would prefer that they do NOT tell anyone else about this because it would make you really uncomfortable. Also tell them that they are already helping just by being there for you and listening, tell them you’ll occasionally check in with them and let them know how you’re doing along the way.
Stage 3: Do check in with that family member you opened up to. Ideally you wanna check in with them every few days, just catch up, let them know about any progress or lack of progress you’ve made in your recovery. By checking in with them you’re creating accountability, because now when you feel like giving up or slacking, not only will you be disappointing yourself but you’ll feel like you’re also disappointing them and letting them down
Stage 4: This stage is optional…At some point if you feel comfortable enough you can open up to other family members about your binge eating. I say this step is optional because if you have one or two close family members supporting you, its usually more than enough, however if you even want more support you can just start opening up about the topic with the rest of your family
I’m guessing you might still have some concerns and might be thinking…but what’s my family going to think of me? what if they judge me? what if they don’t get it? There can be lots of “what ifs?” however most people who I’ve worked with who have opened up to a family member have come back and told me how that family member supported them 100% and was there for them…in fact many felt a sense of relief and telling their family in a way was a defining moment in their path to recovery…
I understand that there are those who come from very dysfunctional families, and if that’s the case then opening up to your family might not be a good idea, or you might not even be close with them at all, instead you can try opening up to a friend or a work colleague or basically someone else in your personal life…
However for the majority of people who come from a more typical loving family, I can promise you that your family will be supportive, the only thing really standing in your way is your ego which keeps deceiving you into thinking that you have to keep up appearances for some reason…
No one is perfect, however for some reason we all like to pretend we are, this is why political scandals get a lot of attention, this is why a celebrity who’s caught cheating on their spouse is immediately “cast out” and trash talked about…yet these scandals are so common these days…why?
Because everyone is trying to keep up appearances…everyone cares a lot about looking good in front of others, and they’ll lie, deceive and hide just to try to control what others think of them…we all do it…aren’t you sick of keeping up appearances? wouldn’t you rather get a family member or two on your side for support? What do you value you more: trying to control what others think of you or actually recovering?