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Xena's Journal – I need help
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July 31, 2012 at 1:41 am #5492
Hi everyone… I need help. I just spent the past 10 days binging continuously. Sometimes I wonder if it’s possible to just die of eating too much. I have dealt with this problem for so long, and I am tired. I have has some good progress in the past, but it seems that no matter what, no matter what I do always end up in this place: the misery of binging. I’m in a good place in my life right now OTHER than this and I don’t understand why I can accomplish everything else in life but make no progress when it comes to eating and weight loss. I just don’t know what approach to take anymore. Everything seems to work for some time but not for good.
Last night we moved into a new place, the place I told myself where I would have a clean start. Well, I ended up binging at 2AM! The new resolution didn’t last very long. I told myself it would help me sleep but the opposite happened. I couldn’t get to sleep until 5. I’m in a crabby mood today and I’m exhausted and angry. I came home early from work and threw pillows. I just don’t know what to do anymore. How can my life spiral completely out of control because of food? I know all the things to do – eat intuitively, don’t restrict etc. and I have tried doing that… but I am still here binging. PLEASE HELPJuly 31, 2012 at 3:39 am #97400
A new place will not solve your problems, but it may help.
The key to avoiding a food binge is to find something other than food to binge on. If you have been binging for a long time, then your body will feel a need to binge – period – not just binge on food, but just to binge. In other words, you need to find another activity, other than eating, that you can do repetitively for an hour or more – while not eating.
Some examples, pick one that relaxes you, for each person this is different:
Cleaning – even if you’re in a small place, washing walls, dusting tables, and cleaning toilets can easily occupy a few hours. Think about the clean, forget about the food. A surprising amount of exercise is present while cleaning.
Gaming – this may be a ‘lazy’ way to binge, but moving some joysticks and pushing some buttons is better exercise than pushing more food into yourself. Never lie down while gaming, make sure that you are in a sitting and alert position. The more tense the situation is, the more you burn while staying in place.
Hit Something – at times the best way to relax yourself is to hit something. Bungee cord a bunch of pillows to a bedpost if you have to, but just punch and/or kick until you’re tired, then go to sleep.
Talk to some friends, ON THE PHONE – often, while on the phone with friends, you forget about time as it passes. This may be a more healthy way to maintain your social network than sitting in front of a computer screen and eating some munchies between Facebook posts. At the same time, it provides you with the relaxation of being among friends.July 31, 2012 at 2:36 pm #97401
Thanks I-Did-Stop. Those are some really awesome ideas!
I’m feeling a lot better today. Yesterday I lied on my bed and frantically journaled for about an hour, everything that is currently pissing me off and stressing me out and how frustrated I am with stuff. I felt spent afterwards…. but calm. I think anxiety makes me binge. I also made myself wait until I was hungry which from my last binge that day took about 5 hours. Then I had a bowl of blueberries and a green smoothie.
Today is a beautiful, new day and I am ready to move forward!August 1, 2012 at 6:11 am #97402
DAY 1: SUCCESS
Well I did pretty well today, considering it was a day filled with social gatherings centering around food. I ate large but sensible amounts of food and had no urges to binge. I think my body just gets so tired of binging sometimes that I am able to stop.
B: oatmeal with blueberries
S: cheese scone
L (BBQ party @ work):1 cheeseburger, 1 cookie, 1/2 bag chips, 1 soda
S: 1/2 bag chips
(@ Greek restaurant): 1/2 Greek food entree, shared appies and dessert, 2 glasses of wine
Today not binging feels… natural. Today I feel like a normal human being. It was also a hot day, and I was outside a lot, which decreases my appetite. Of course, the binge monster is only hiding temporarily. I understand my patterns well enough to know that. But I am feeling strong enough to beat it the next time it rears its ugly head.August 2, 2012 at 6:20 am #97403
DAY 2: Did it again
B: oatmeal with blueberries
L: (@pub) appies + french fries
1 veggie cheese sandwitch, 2 fried eggs, 2 pieces of toast, some cereal
I waited a bit too long to have dinner and consequently ate a bit too much. I have a tummy ache now. Might be from sampling the pastry I am making which is baking but it still raw… I’ve been baking it forever but it has just turned to rubber. No idea how to save it. Any bakers out there?
I am exhausted tonight and have been all day… time to get a good night’s sleep.August 3, 2012 at 6:14 am #97404
Day 3: OK
B: blueberry crisp
L: leftover greek food, blueberry crisp
S: cheese scone, piece of chocolate
bread, cheese, fruit, fried tofu, peanut sauce, quinoa, 2 glasses white wine
OMG am I ever exhausted today!! Right after work I hosted a dinner at our new apartment… about to pass out now. I’m tired and my stomach is bothering me really bad. My diet is so unbalanced. Have to fix that next week.August 3, 2012 at 8:14 pm #97405
Take one step at a time, even if the diet is unbalanced, at least you havent had a huge binge! Something I always try to do is to avoid having “binge” food at home -I always always end up bingin like crazy if i got stuff like cereal or bread or cheese at home, always! So i avoid having it at home-. It really helps me. Another thing i try to do, is, whenever i start thinking something like “I’d eat some grilled cheese sandwich” or “I really want to have a huge bowl of cereals” or anything along those lines, that i know it’ll trigger a binge i try avoid eating that food. It is really hard at first but bit by bit it really helps!August 4, 2012 at 2:22 am #97406
NoaNoaChan, thanks so much for stopping by and for your supportive comments. I really appreciate it.
DAY 4: Not great
(until before dinner)
B: 2 portions of blueberry crip, 2 handfuls cereal
L: 1 samosa, leftovers from last night (a lot of food)
S: plums, coffee with cream
So today was not great. I mean, I didn’t have a huge binge on junk food or anything, but I ate a lot more food than I needed. After a co-worker brought some samosas and I ate one big one, I really didn’t need much lunch. But I ate everything I packed.
The physical urge to binge: it just feels like there is a well inside of me that has to be filled. It actually is incredibly uncomfortable or even painful if it isn’t filled… immediately. There is no reasoning with it.
So I feel OK about how today went, but not great. I feel I need to change something. Start eating more salads and whole foods, cut back on the wine and coffee, start to feel more whole and balanced and most of all – I need to start to exercise. But any day without a major binge is a good day so I appreciate that.
I feel so tired… slept in late this morning and went in to work late. I felt great after getting lots of sleep though. I’m going away on a trip this weekend, so won’t be reporting for a few days.
Have a great weekend to everyone!
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