Today I finally admitted my bad habit. This is more than “bad habit.” I am killing myself over a month. Binge eating has made me feel better. I can forget bad things, just eat, eat and eat. When my stomach is stuffed, I vomit, throw up as much as I can. Getting rid of all makes me feel better too. But after all, I regret what I do. I think about myself, and notice I am a weak person. I do not have control.
I want to change myself. I want to be better, thus I posted this.
I am going to be different tomorrow. No more bad habit. No more.
Hi there! I just sent you a message on your first post, but I also wanted to reply to your accountability journal too. Again, welcome to the forum- this really is a great place to heal, with many supportive, wonderful people, who can understand the pain that you are in. Congratulations on posting and admitting your problem, this is a huge first step to recovery! The best thing you can do right now is to stop calling yourself names and berating yourself. You must be in a lot of pain to want to binge and purge, which is terrible for you. Are you restricting your diet? The more you try to diet, the more you want to binge. To break out of this cycle, stop dieting, listen to your body and give it what it needs. And most important, do not purge if you binge again. This may be hard to do, but it is so important to begin the process of recovery. The next day, do not diet. Eat when you are hungry, and aim for 3 meals and a couple of snacks a day. This will help to stop the cycle that you are in. Exercise will also help to feel better- it boosts endorphins, which will help you to not want to binge in the first place. What is it that you are trying to forget and not think about when you binge? Binging will only cover up the pain temporarily, but the problems will still be there, and then you have one more problem to deal with. If you can, the next time you want to binge, write a post on your journal. There is usually always somebody you can find to talk with, and also just writing your thoughts down can help a lot too. I do not believe you are weak. I believe that you are trying to cover up some pain, and maybe trying to take in all the calories that you deprive yourself of when you diet. Your post shows me that you have strength, just by admitting your problem and asking for help and support. Don’t you think you are worth it? I do. Good job on posting, and I hope that you continue to post. We are all here for you!