Binge Eating Forum

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Binge Eating Forum » Binge Eating Support - General Comments, Questions, and Posts

1. 

   Anonymous
   

   I am currently extremely underweight; and also a binger.

   My story:
   In short - I gained weight freshman year at university, freaked out, dieted -- somewhere along the way -- I mentally messed myself up and became a binger, and dieted a little too much = underweight.

   Recently, I've been binging a lot. It used to make me feel extremely guilty, but I feel less guilty and resume to my normal eating within a few hours now. (When I used to diet -- after a binge, I'd restrict like crazy, but not anymore) I feel less guilty because I know I need to gain weight, and I think partly because I recently started anti-depressants.

   However, I can't keep going on like this. I can't keep binging. I don't know how to prevent or stop it either. I can eat thousands of calories. And I don't stop until I feel uncomfortably full. And I can eat abnormally large amounts (more than anyone else I know).
   Lately, because I've also been trying to gain weight, when I binge, I almost don't even try to stop myself mentally -- I just let myself go on and on. But its definitely NOT me in control -- I binged this afternoon (several thousand calories) and I can barely remember what I ate. I just pretty much stand in the kitchen and eat everything.

   And I don't know what triggers it either. Cause I am definitely eating high calorie meals regularly right now as well (trying to gain weight), so I'm not undereating.
   But I just think about food all the time. Its frustrating, I plan everything I eat. I feel like it controls my life.

   I've seen my doctor about this, she tried to get me into an ED program, but they won't accept me as an outpatient because I'm too underweight.
   But I know I need help for my binging cycles right now.
   Even if I do eventually gain weight, it will be because I've binged so much, and than I will continue and become overweight from not being able to control my eating/binges. I need a cure.....

   I feel so messed up and lost.... and I don't know what to do. Any thoughts or suggestions? Or anyone who wants to lend support....

   Please be sympathetic, it is a sensitive topic. I hope I won't regret posting this.

   Posted 1 year ago #
2. 

   jacquirsw1
   Member

   I feel for you.

   It is difficult, and obviously an area that you are finding really hard at the moment.

   Are you only eating the main meals each day. One of the things I have found is that if I eat more regularly (never go more than 3 hours without eating) then I don't binge as much.

   You sound as though you are using food as a control thing, and because you know you cannot restrict any more you are controlling by binging. It may be worth trying to look at what you are really trying to control and if there are other ways to do this.

   But you are not alone that is the main thing. It will seem like it, but you are not, there are lots of people that do the same sort of thing, you are not a freak or anything else, it is just something that isn't how you want it to be.

   Jacqui

   Posted 1 year ago #
3. 

   binger
   Member

   I am absolutely shocked by the fact you have been refused treatment due to your ed....because you are underweight!

   Posted 1 year ago #
4. 

   chicaohno005
   Member

   hi i am 15 , in high school and can relate to exactly what you're going through. Last year some difficult circumstances arose (family leaving ) and i couldnt deal with it so i became anorexic. It was an okay thing because i was supposed to be lean/skinny anyway for the sports i did(crosscountry, track). When i came to the realization of how skinny i was i panicked and began to binge to put on the weight as quick as i could . People were also pressuring me to put on weight and when it told one of my family members that i was a binge eater they thought i was being ridiculuos because i was still underweight. I prayed that God would help me through this because i was totally out of control eating and food controlled my thought process and way of living. He did help me and even though i know it will probably be a struggle for the rest of my life , i've found that recognizing what emotions make me want to binge and getting away from my temptation zone is what works. if you need support or just someone to listen and sympathize to what you're going through you can contact me at 443-791-8322.

   Posted 1 year ago #
5. 

   missmw
   Member

   i have only just come accross your post and i have the EXACT same problem. As it has now been a year, can you give me advice on how you got over this. i have tried everything. incoroporating a sensible amount of treats into my diet along with healthy balanced meals and i still binge after dinner. i disgust myself. people dont realise how serious it is seeing as i amskinny but it is my mindset that is the most unhealthy thing. i lose control completely. i need help and im totally stuck. even as im writing this im about to go and get more toast and butter. im so scared.

   Posted 4 months ago #
6. 

   amnvin
   Member

   I have been struggling with my eating disorder for 30 years now.I was released from an inpatient treatment program in September for anorexia.I was doing "ok" til December then a well meaning family complimented my weight gain at Christmas and I went into relapse.By February I lost all my weight again and was back down to what I was when I went into the hospital.

   I now am trying to recover on my own.I have the same problem as you.I have been trying so hard to eat healthy but for the past almost year I binge eat at least weekly.I hate it! I feel sick,sad,fat,discouraged,ect.... I just want to have a normal relationship with food.I am obsessed with what to eat,what not to eat.how much to eat or not eat.All day long I worry about food,eating,binging,my stomach,blah blah blah.Its stealing my joy in life.Im scared too

   I wonder if hypnotism would work? Id try anything.

   By the way I binged today on about 4000 calories I bet.My body is used to bout 1000.Thats probably not enough.Maybe thats part of my binge prob.Im to scared to go over.Yet I lose total control during a binge.

   Posted 3 months ago #
7. 

   Impossible_Princess
   Member

   You're worried about gaining weight after you become "normal weight" ... even though you're underweight. That is classic ED thinking. You need to take baby steps. No doctor will put you on a program - they will think you're being an attention-seeker and should see a therapist instead. You have to approach them in a different way, like "I tend to binge eat alot - and even though I'm thin - I'm worried about the repercussions on my health, like high-cholesterol etc". Truth be told, there's not much help - medically - for people who binge eat. It's not even really recognized as a problem - most people don't understand it. All I got for revealing my bulimia to the world is a pill prescription and a really lame state-appointed therapist ... and friends telling me to "get over it". I'm basically on my own unless I completely destroy my body to the point I can't get out of bed. Then somebody might throw me in rehab XD

   I just realized you posted this a year ago. I hope you're ok <3

   Posted 3 months ago #
8. 

   btv34482
   Member

   I understand how you feel! it is not so much the weight, but having the habit that is the most frustrating thing. It just makes you feel so bad about yourself afterward. Have you found anything that helps you get through it? Any techniques? I see it has been a year, and I wanted to know how you are doing and how you got through.

   Good luck!

   Posted 3 months ago #

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