Tips to stop overeating, stop emotional eating, stop eating fast food, stop eating junk food
This my Story
Home › Binge Eating Forum › Binge Eating Support – General Comments, Questions, and Posts › This my Story
March 4, 2010 at 11:48 am #1671
Hello All… Im a 24 year old male living in Manchester England and I have always had a kinda bad relationship with food.. However for the past year I have been struggling badly with Binge Eating … I hope to recieve some sort of Help and Support through the use of this Forum…Here Goes
I remember when I was really young I used to sneak down and take chocolate biscuits for the food drawers and then sneak up to the bathroom lock the door and eat them all..Then hide the rappers somewhere
I also remember when it was easter and christmas and we used to get easter eggs or selection boxes I would eat more than i was allowed or eat everything in one night
Obviously when i was this young it wa never really thought of as a dissorder more just being greedy which it probbably was
As i said I have always had a bad relationship woth food but it really started to get bad when I started College when I was 16
I basically piled on loads of weight and stopped playing rugby.. I wasnt bionge eating as such . more just eating really badly all the time and not doing any exercise to work it off.. I balloned to 19stone of much fat..
Then when I was 20-21 I decided to try and lose weight…It was because I really really liked a girl mate of mine and I knew she would never fancy me when I wa fat so I pretty much stopped eating chocolate, crisps and cakes and lost loads of weight. Then I joined a gym and started running on the treadmill for a few hpours each week and I actually went down to 13stone.. However I was really thin and was on the cusp of develpoing a anorexic type dissorder
Then everything seemed to click. I started to weight train and eat more protein ans such and started putting muscle on and looking good.. I was Happy
Apart from one thing.. At least once or twice a week and was eating vast amounts of sweet foods..Biscuits, crisps, ice cream and chocolate at night until I was uncomfortably full.. Then the next day I would go to they gym feeling sooo guilty and train hard as i could..But feeling bloated and disgusting at the same time
This lasted for a good year or so and My weight pretty much stayed stable
Then I went to camp america.. I managed to curb my binges to once a week for a few weeks beofre going and I started looking pretty good which gave me confidence to enjoy myself immensley in america..
The 5months I had in america were amazing but i had let myself go and I knew it.. My binges got worse in america because I felt there was nobody there to judge me on my weight so i just didnt care ….
When I got home I got the obvious jibes about my weight especially from my rugby teammates… I started training at the gym and lost a bit but now I am stuck about 2stone heavier than i want to be and should be… due to the amount of time I put in at the gym
I have now started Bingeinging neraly every night… I eat a shit load.. Can easilly polish off a full tub of ben and jerrys, A king size chocolate bar, half a pack of biscuits and a big bag of crisps (chips to the yanks) in one sitting…
When i go to bed its like Im in a ”FOOD COMA” and at first its like im away from my body and I can dream of past good times such as my experience in america or a pretty girl who talked to me
In the morning I wake up and regret what i did immediatley and i fell full fat and disgusting..I have to hide my gas becasue i smells so bad and clothes dont fit me anymore which i used to look good in but now ive got too much of a big fat disgusting belly… Everyday I wake up having binged the night before I am constantly at war with myself in my head
I have tried to counsellors and the second one was alright but her distraction techniques and the way she tried to use CT therapy on me didnt work …
The only way I can stop myself having a bingeis if I know Ive got summat really important to do in the next day or two days and I can visulize myself enjoyng the activity and how good it would feel to not be feeling full or disgusting ..Its hard tho and I dont know what to do..
I always get my hopes up when i odnt binge for a few days then im right back into it
I used to control it better now It feels like it is spiralling out of control and I dont know what to do
Finally a few questions
If you dont binge for a few days do you feel fatter?? i do its like once my body has got rid of all the shit in my system i can feel how much of a belly i have put on which makes me feel bad and then binge…
Does anyne else dream of food and binges if they havent binged for a while ???
Anyone else hate the fact that your guts and shit when bingeing and the time and smell on the toilet is an embarresment and disgusting..
I HATE MYSELF FOR DOING THIS TO MYSELF
I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO CONTROL THESE BINGES
I hace never had a girlfriend and I dont know why im not ugly Im 24 and every girl i have liked has fucked my off and never even given me a chance to make them happy
Sorry about the essay hope you read it all
Im off to the gym guess why ??March 4, 2010 at 6:06 pm #38998
Hey there….welcome to the forum! I’m 26 and struggled with BED for really 4 years…I can relate to a lot of what you have gone through because I started kind of pigging when I was a kid from time to time, but when I was in high school I gained 30 pounds or so and started getting really obsessive about my diet and exercise. I actually did that for about 5 years and maintained my weight fairly well with just maybe a mini-binge once a week. But after I had a pretty traumatic break up after a 5 year relationship I started having crazy binges to deal with the depression and loneliness. I ballooned up 40 pounds…then I lost it all when I lived in Honduras for a year…then when I got back I spent 2 years bingeing and gained it all back. The thing that has helped me and a lot of people on here is stopping the dieting. The dieting/restricting/trying to eat perfectly ALWAYS leads back to bingeing. ALWAYS. So the way to pull yourself out of it for a long-term recovery from BED is intuitive eating. Eat anything you want each time you get hungry, eat slowly and enjoy it, stop when you are full and don’t let yourself feel guilty about it. Once you let back in forbidden foods in moderate amounts regularly in your diet, there is no reason to binge. Also, learning what you triggers are and just feeling your way thru emotions instead of binged to numb or fix them. Keep posting….you will see you’ll get tons of love and support here. Hugs, laurenMarch 4, 2010 at 7:12 pm #38999
Thank you …
Im currently at home now and I have been kinda planning a binge Later tomight, a tub of ice cream i bought to replace the tub i hate which was my dads…
Im gonna have a curry and then some ic cream and hopefully not want it all later
Thats one problem for me.. as soon as i eat something i deem as ”bad food” I kinda trigger myself into binge mode and in a way say to myself…Well youve fucked up now might as well just have a binge…..March 4, 2010 at 9:29 pm #39000
lets talk abt sth else for a sec , i know ur a rugby player but i think everyone watch football so are u a “united” or a “city” fan ????
football games ,believe it or not , are huge triggers for me ,,i’m just soooo stressed b4 the game and in the 2nd half ,especially if there were no goals ,,i would have HUGE BINGE ATTACKS !!!!
to get back to this ,, i wanna quote u “I always get my hopes up when i odnt binge for a few days then im right back into it “
when i read this ,i was like ,, here’s someone who goes through the same thing that i’m going through right now ,,,we’re all suffering from this here
so i can understand ur frustration ,,ur an athlete and i can’t imagine how stressful it is for u to loose that extra weight … i’ve been here for 2 weeks maybe or 16 days ,,around that ,, and i’m still struggling ,, so i’m not an expert but in my case i noticed sth abt the timing of my binges , they come after 3 or 4 days of successful dieting , after stop eating for a few days , after being way more confident than i should be…bekuz ur restricting ,,ur depriving ur body from what it wants ,,so the very next moment that ur feel week or ur not paying much attention to what ur eating ,,u’ll binge again
restricting is like hiding food but the thing is u hide it urself so u know exactly where to find it when u wanna it ..u didnt solve a problem here !!
and thats why u keep on coming back to the starting point each time
now be aware this is not gna happen over night
i got really disappointed bekzu i hadnt have a change yet since i’ve been here ,,2 weeks is a very short period of time , but i wanted quick solutions
sadly binge is more like a monster ,,its hard to get rid of it so you have to be patient .
i’m really struggling too ,if u want u can read my journals , it helps to know that there are people who are suffering from this too ,and i dnt mean that in a bad way ,,its just ur not alone in this
i am Jordanian ,, and i mentioned that to tell u that people form all over the world are going through the exact same thing
so its time for u to start ur journey here into a better & healthier life
wish u all the best and i truly hope ur a man united fan hehehe
ZAINAMarch 5, 2010 at 1:05 am #39001
hey there, I have been on the forum for about 5 months I think.. I have had my ups and downs but am feeling very positive right now and am on the right track. The things that have helped me the most (and some took so long to realise!!) was to stop dieting.. dont just ‘half’ diet, 100% NO DIETING. It took me so long to just let it go but i realised that as long as i was dieting in the slightest, I was still binging which totally defeated the purpose of dieting in the first place. Also, calorie counting.. i used to do it religiously and it made my world revolve around food. It was one of the best things that I let go of. Another thing that helped me was to accept myself and realise that I am beautiful and if someone doesnt like me for the way I look, then they’re not worth knowing. Once I stopped the dieting, calorie counting and began to appreciate myself, I was able to eat intuitively and it has been the BEST thing. Take Laurens advice.. she speaks from success. Eat when you are hungry, eat whatever you want, stop when you’re full. Do not have ANY forbidden food. As long as u have forbidden food, you’ll never be satisfied. Also (sorry this is long haha) Guilt played a major role in my recovery. As long as i let myself feel guilty, I would binge 10/10times. Its the all or nothing mentality.. you ate something not on the diet.. pfft go binge! its silly. youd be far better off eating whatever you feel like in moderation. It feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders. It takes time but you’ll get there and we will support you on here all the way.
I also reeeallllyy recommend you read some books on Intuitive Eating. It’s a absolute eye opener and helps you to understand how to be in touch with your body and eat like a normal person. You can do this!
* by the way, i’ve lost more weight now whilst i’ve been eating intuitively than on ANY diet. and that includes chocolate, cakes and pizza!March 5, 2010 at 1:56 am #39002
Agreed! I just started about a week ago and when I was told about the intuitive eating thing, I thought, “Yeah, I’ve heard that all before, it’s not going to make a difference!” But if you REALLY listen to your body it does help. The first day I tried it I had pizza, french fries, pasta and bread all in the same day and LOST weight because I ate it all in moderation. When I start getting that urge, I check in with my stomach and see if it’s physical hunger or the emotional hunger. I’m noticing myself getting fuller quicker and hungry not as often. Actually looking at the food you’re eating, eating slowly and actually chewing your food helps immensely. I don’t know about you, but when I binge I don’t even look at the food or chew very much. I watch TV and just inhale whatever is in front of me, then get up and get more because, since my stomach hasn’t caught up yet, I’m still “hungry”. Finding something else to fill that time and release the stress has been major for me too. My usual binge time is around 7-8ish so now I go sit in the tub and watch TV or I play video games. Also, like the others said, throw dieting and calorie counting out the window. My goal for myself has been to use the intuitive eating principles (http://www.intuitiveeating.com/) and to post on here every day. Often I start something and then don’t finish it. Posting on here helps to keep me accountable. I wish you the very best of luck!!!March 5, 2010 at 2:06 am #39003
Wondercat! Spot on! I was so ‘yeah yeah’ about intuitive eating too, but its amazing how much it pays to eat off smaller plates, actually look at the texture, smell and taste of your food and like you said, eat sloooowwlly. I was an inhaler too, no wonder we were always ‘hungry’. Anyway just wanted to say, great advice! mjaysifu, you should definitely check out that site!March 5, 2010 at 12:04 pm #39004
OMG thank you all for all the posts.. I really didnt think how supportive you all would be..
To answer the question Sami23 (zaina) I am a United Fan woo..Born in salford so we’re a propper red army round here haha… Shame about michael owen tho..Thanks for the pist as well and i will make a note of reading your journals…I wasn;t gonna do one but how do you feel doing them..Are they helping???
To get to your post I know exactly how you feel with the not bingeing for a few days and then leting yourself go or ”rewarding yourself” My triggers are night time… I still live at home and when i get in at night its like a switch comes on in my brain and im bingeing …I fell like i cant sleep if i dont go into my food coma but i know i can..Its so frustrating ..I have woken up today after having a binge each night for the past 5days and i feel disgusting
Last week i knew i was going out on sat night and i wanted to look and feel good ..I managed to only binge on a mon and wed night of last week and i went out feeling great
Then i got told lots of girls were coming up to me and trying to dance but i was too drunk to notice and so bombed out..this really hurt me cos another trigger is lonliness
I may have said this before but i just wanna be loved hahah
Ive never had a serious girlfriend becasue al the girls who i really feel somethig for end up fucking me off
this in turn makes me say to myself ”fuck it” nobody fancies you anyway so you might as well binge and feel shit …Im getting to the point where i think my bingeinging is a form of self harm
Anyway Thanks again for all the posting keep it up cos i feel so alone at thuis moment
Im actually getting teased a bit by my dad about this i know its his way but ive opened up to them about my bingeing ..which was so embarassing by the way and its like its made it harder to stop now
Nat your post sounds very inspiring and im very happy for you..good luck with the journey to recovery (happiness)
Is that ”intuitive eating” avaialbe to buy on play.co.uk who is the author ???
THANK YOU ALLMarch 5, 2010 at 8:20 pm #39005
Hey there! Glad you see that you can find lots of support here! Do you think those night binges are fueled from not eating enough or restricting during the day? I know when I lived in Honduras my roomie binge ate at night and she had that same fear that she couldn’t sleep without a full belly..but once you she got herself out of that habit, it got easier. I’m glad you told your family…although sometimes having them know does make it a bit harder, but hopefully they’ll be supportive. Well it sounds like girls are interested in you!! What do you mean they keep fucking you over? Have faith that you will meet someone. I have been single for four years (I’m 26) and its been a lonely period for sure but its been a great experience because I have figured out how to be happy on my own so that when I am in a relationship I will not have to depend on someone else to “make” me happy..also I believe that recovering from this BED was an important step for me before getting into a relationship..so focus on getting out of this BED and being happy and that perfect girl will come into you life when its the right time! Keep posting! ~LaurenMarch 6, 2010 at 11:00 am #39006
I only ever binge at night …Its always been like that here’s is a typical daily diet that i try to stick to
Breakfast Bowl of museli or porridge glass of fresh orange
Snack = fruit and milk/protein shake
Dinner = tuna sandwich
snack = fruit and milk/protein shake
Tea = chicken, jacket potato veg
Then I binge at night …. I can get into the habbit of not bingeinging at night and when i do for the few days i feel great and can’t understand why i get back into the habit of bingeing ….. Its so ”FRUSTRATING”
Can i ask what tecniques your friend used to get out of the habit pf eating at night???
I am aware og girls that like me but its the ones that I like that always never get together with here is two examples of what i mean..Onme lifeguard at my gym knew i liked her cos i t9old her and we started flirting and what not..She invited me out for a drink with her mate and we had a good night right up till the point at the end of the night shen decided to tell me she had a boyfriend
the other as a girl who i took on a date then the next week it turns out she is going out with another lad from my rugby club ….
I have never had a meaningfull long term relationship with anyone and Im 24 It makes me feel like some kinda loser …
I do understand what your sying though about concentrating about overcoming BED i reckon a stressfull relationship could make recovery go tits up
just got back from buying more ice cream to replace the tub i ate last night its saturday morning and i have been bingeing at night since last sunday
I FEEL SO DISGUSTING PLEASE I NEED TO STOP DOING THIS TO MYSELFMarch 6, 2010 at 2:01 pm #39007
Remembering the words of Lady Lauren, BE is not a one-day thing and will not go away so quickly either. You need to do BABY STEPS (I love that expression ). Well, to read books about BE is very necessary in order to have some clear ideas of what BE is and what not, even objective and subjective binges.
The other advices I´ve followed have been:
-Writting and reading everyday in this forum
-Thinking about the root of my emotional issues
-Write what I think, feel and eat in my diary (and even discus the content with my boyfriend)
-Just once a week weighin (after 2 weeks, done!)
-Not restricting foods (incredibly but true, I got rid of some weight by eating moderate portions of everything I wanted, junk food included!)
-Reading to BE books. My favourite ones:
“Overcoming Binge Eating” by Dr. Christopher G. Fairburn.
Kristin Gersten´s e-book (which has a personal point of view)
Has anybody tried Andrew B e-book?
Guess what, I hadnt a real relationship till I was 22 and it just means that that person didn´t find me before. The others I found were not appropiate for me. That´s all! There is always someone there looking for you, only you two do not find each other.
Have you thought about not buying those foods you tell you have to replace in order to be able to binge? At least for a period of time, so you can see if this helps you avoid that anxiety a bit more.
After a 3-week binge free period I do not understand why my king-size toblerone bar is still in the kitchen (since a week ago), completely untouched. I mean this type of things will happen to you but first baby steps
Hope you feel better soon
Enjoy your weekendMarch 6, 2010 at 3:28 pm #39008
Hey! Ok so looking at your meals for the day that you try to stick with I would say that the night bingeing is most likely happening because you definitely aren’t eating enough during the day. You have a pretty small breakfast, a snack, and no lunch. You need to definitely start eating a good lunch…that will go a long way. What happens is your body isn’t getting what it needs during the day so at night your body is starving and trying to get those calories from somewhere so thats where the binges come in. Also switching up your foods so that you are eating things you really love helps a lot too. My roomie ate a pretty big breakfast and lunch and then she found she wasn’t having that bingey feeling as much at night….plus once she stayed strong for a week or so, it got easier since bingeing is also a habit that needs to be broken! Oh that sucks about those 2 girls but not all girls out there are like that. I know its tough to be 24 without having been in a relationship but you will, just have patience. Believe me I understand how you feel because like I said I’ve been single for 4 years (after having been in a 5 year relationship, which is hard because I really get how good a great relationship can be), but what I found was that during that 4 year period when I was so wrapped up in my ED, so depressed and unhappy with myself, literally almost 0 guys approached me and I had NO dating opportunities…now that I have pulled my life together and am super happy with my self and my life, I get approached or flirted with on almost a daily basis. So the happier you can make yourself, the more people that will end up being attracted into your life. Ok so throw the ice cream away. Eat 3 good sized meals today with a snack or two and hang tight for the next few days. Pull yourself out of this cycle..you can do it! Hugs, LaurenMarch 6, 2010 at 4:03 pm #39009
Wow..Thanks again I shall try all the advice and report back to what happens tomorrow or Monday ….
THANK YOUMarch 6, 2010 at 10:35 pm #39010
Your welcome!! Good luck! ~L
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
Recent Forum Posts
- Zaina on A place where everybody understand the suffering
- Zaina on Hopetostop's Journal
- Zaina on A place where everybody understand the suffering
- Zaina on What has happened to this forum :-(
- Hopetostop on What has happened to this forum :-(
- Hopetostop on Hopetostop's Journal
- Zaina on A place where everybody understand the suffering
- charlie on What has happened to this forum :-(
- Hopetostop on Hopetostop's Journal
- Hopetostop on admitted i have a problem…. but only to strangers