Binge Eating Forum » Binge Eating Support - General Comments, Questions, and Posts

thepurplerabbit's 2010 journal

(338 posts)
  • Started 8 months ago by thepurplerabbit
  • Latest reply from Louise
1…67

  1. amanda918
    Member

    Hey nomi! How about this one... I'm living in the present... or I'm living life to the fullest! Something like that? I'm seriously SO PROUD of you for bouncing back from that binge the way you did! One binge day isn't going to kill you and you made sure you left it at that! This is like that hardest thing for me so I'm always really happy when everyone else manages to keep their binges at one day! And I HATE being in the single digits for binge free days! If I were you I would just say that I've had one binge in the past x amount of days! Sounds wayyyyy better. I'm super glad play practice is going so well and I'm really sorry that you're feeling sick! I feel like I'm always getting stupid colds, and I've learned to just ignore the symptoms because it's too annoying to deal with them every single time haha. And don't worry about starbucks haha. Every starbuck I've ever been to is full of single people just trying to get work done while they're enjoying a coffee. That's what the comfy chairs and table are there for so definitely no worries about that!! Have a wonderful day my love!

    Posted 6 months ago #

  2. sophesxo14
    Member

    hey! new to this website(: it sounds like your having a great day! dont worry about single digits, im still there too. i love starbucks! oh my gosh, EVEERYONE goes to starbucks alone! i sometimes just love to sit and have a nice muffin all alone too. oooh play practice! sounds fun! i just finished grease the musical, it was so fun. and dont worry about the bday dinner. you deserve to enjoy yourself! have a great night xoxo soph

    Posted 6 months ago #

  3. cookiemonster
    Member

    Hello sweet Nomi rabbit !
    From what I read in your posts, youre definitely doing better at being in the moment, I mean you sound so productive ! Thats how I wish I was, because I just spend days being lazy and not doing anything worthwhile and in the meanwhile time flies and I could be doing so much more to feel like Im truly appreciating life !
    I used to feel weird about sitting alone in coffeeshops and restaurants too. But then one day I said screw it and went to a place where you have to sit and order from the waitress and all and it was so relaxing I actually loved it. I even went to the movies alone once and felt really awkward lol !
    I wish I could hear you sing, I bet you have an amazing voice ! I always secretly wished I could sing lol, so people that have that talent really fascinate me and when I hear a good singer I feel shivers !
    Take care hunny bunny with the fluffiest and fuzziest fuuuurrrr !

    Posted 6 months ago #

  4. Hope777
    Member

    Hey Naomi!
    I have a lot of that kind of thinking where I think others are judging me! I would totally feel the same way if I saw someone in my sorority or something and I was sitting alone at starbucks…However if it was switched around and I saw someone I knew I wouldn’t think it was weird at all.
    It must have been a lot of fun doing the dress rehearsal! I hope everything went well!!!
    It donst look like you overate too me, in fact it looks like a perfect birthday dinner..well done!!!!

    Have a great night!!!

    <3 Liz

    Posted 6 months ago #

  5. Keepushin
    Member

    Naomiiii!

    Haha "studying in the car"..you crack me up...glad it went well!!! Aww your musical sounds SO FUN!! That rehearsal must have been very exciting. Lol...and the Starbucks thing is def. what everyone does! I've thought that sometimes too when I was somewhere like that alone...but if I saw someone I'd probably be like cool, she's comfortable enough with herself where she can do things on her own...so I think we just forget that people aren't usually thinking what we are about ourselves. Plus doing that kind of stuff on your own has always been so relaxing to me! Also..your sisters bday is def. a reason to enjoy that cake!!

    Hope you had a great day love! <3KP

    Posted 6 months ago #

  6. thepurplerabbit
    Member

    Aw Lauren, you can have free tickets to my shows anytime And Broadway would be THE biggest dream ... I'm in Starbucks again right now actually! I've been here for the past few hours since Im missing my last class because of a phone interview (more on that later). I'm quickly becoming their second most loyal customer. (First is always you )

    Natty I like your coffee shop perspective! It happened AGAIN today because I was sitting in Starbucks waiting for my interviewer to call and then the SAME person I saw yesterday came in with a group of friends and I was like uughhhh now she thinks I'm a loooooser ... but then I thought of how cool it is when people don't have a problem sitting alone, and I don't want to be the kind of person who worries about that anyway. So I resisted the urge to run up to her and explain the reasons for my lack of companionship haha -- I just faked not caring and it worked pretty well.

    Thanks Lorena! oooh noooo you asked me my favorite Beatles song! Whenever people do that I take 10 years to answer and then I take my answer back because I feel sorry for not including all the other amazing Beatles songs I think my very, very favorites are Yesterday, Get Back, Hey Jude, Drive My Car, Love Me Do, Anna, Misery, If I Fell, The End, .... SEE? haha and now I'm stressing that I forgot some ... naming favorite music is a very intense question for me And yes I'm really excited for the show!

    Hey Louise! Yeah I did actually think of all the people on here who do it all the time and definitely are not socially inept ... I mean if you and Lauren do it it MUST be cool Thanks for the support! what kind of performing did you do?

    Nooooo Amanda those are STILL cheesy!!! "Living life to the fullest" is even cheesier ... the problem is I really believe those things though, I'll just have to deal with the cliché since that's actually what I mean. I'm glad to hear your immune system is crappy too! Well, I'm not GLAD to hear it ... you know ... just glad I have company, twinnie <3 Coldeez work super well though! I've been taking them for the past few days and my sore throat is actually receding so I feel like I reversed my almost-cold

    Hey Sophie!! (Wait, is your name Sophie? And can I call you that? or Soph? I like the name Soph as a nickname for Sophie ... let me know haha I'm being so bossy about your name when I didn't give mine out for ages!) Thanks so much for commenting! How are you doing? I hope better since you came here ... I'll find your journal soon and spam it That's awesome, you were in Grease???!! What part were you? Do you do a lot of theater/musical theater? (Ok, I just counted and I've asked you 7 questions so far ... that should keep you busy, now you HAVE to post here again)

    Thanks Anou! (for the compliments on my fur, I mean ... I really don't like to brag but it IS pretty luxurious ) First of all, can I tell you I'm really pumped/relieved I actually got your birthday right??? I NEVER remember people's birthdays ... this is quite a big accomplishment for me If you get carrot cake in the mail, you'll know who it's from (I just wanted to say that, but you won't be getting carrot cake in the mail actually. Sorry. Feel free to assume that any time you have carrot cake in the future, it's from me ) I hate feeling unproductive too! And I've felt like that so often, especially when I was bingeing ... I think it's just that I have a hard time making myself do stuff I don't like. And I do absolutely love singing ... but I get singer jealousy too! haha I'm sure you have equally interesting talents, you gifted individual you

    Thanks Liz! Yeah I'm trying to act like I feel comfortable before I actually do, in the hopes that faking it for a while will make me feel it in the long run. I think it'll work And we all judge ourselves so harshly compared to other people, it makes no sense once you think about it. (Also, the color of your dress in your new pic is gorgeous! As are you of course ... ) You can, uh, mail it to me if you want ... no pressure or anything *hint*

    Hey KP! I do like my Starbucks alone time ESPECIALLY when they play "Until You Come Back to Me" from the Starbucks CD, that's my jam I guess maybe I just need a little break in my day before socializing again ... I'll probably need fewer breaks when I get used to having a normal social life again ( haaaaaaahaaaaauggggggggggggghhhhh) but for now I think my Starbucks solo parties are fine. And the cake was GREAT

    I really OD on the smiley faces, don't I? hmmm ... I should probably restrain myself a little ... my posts are like breeding grounds for little happy yellow people (and their little green buddies ... who, of course, are the leaders of this very cheerful civilization since they're the coolest AND they have the most teeth so law enforcement is more practical.) yuuuuup I had a grande latte instead of a tall today. Can you tell?

    So things are still very busy but the past few days have been really good! Play practice until 6 each night (that's where I'm going as soon as I finish this). Our preview show is tomorrow, and then we have shows for a week after that! I'm excited At Starbucks at the moment since I just had my second phone interview for that gap year program I talked about earlier ... I find out on Monday if I got in! :/ I really hope so and I think I will but GOD I rambled a lot ... haha I just cannot shut up, it's ridiculous.

    Yesterday I missed class to see a performance from the top a capella group of a college I'm applying to (they're on tour and they visited my high school). They were ABSOLUTELY CRAZY FANTASTIC AMAZING and if I get into the college (which is ridiculously difficult and therefore not incredibly likely) I am SO auditioning ... and I want their CD They were so incredible, it was inspiring!

    Ok-- time to trot along to rehearsal. Love to you all and have wonderful fantastic days!!!!!

    Food log for yesterday:
    Oh come ON, did you actually think I would remember? Of course not.

    Food log for today:
    B: coffee, oatmeal with cantaloupe, strawberries, pineapple
    S: apple, banana, kashi bar
    L: grande vanilla soy sugar-free latte, tomato mozzarella sandwich, choc. chip cookie (all courtesy of the kingdom of Starbucks)

    Posted 6 months ago #

  7. excrisis
    Member

    Hey Naomi,

    Oh man, I loved reading your post! You are such a shiny happy person, and I love it. Also, can you please look at your last post and see the amount of smiley faces you used? Haha, I love it!

    I am SO freaking proud of you and happy for you. You are doing so damn well. I hope you get into your gap year program. Your play practice sounds like it is really fun, and a welcome distraction I am sure.

    No worries about going to coffee shops alone, everyone does it! It is 100% normal, and who cares what others think? I doubt they even notice! Anyways, I just wanted to let you know how awesome I think you are doing and how much hope you give me! Your cheeriness is infectious.

    Have a good rest of the week.

    Love, Stephanie

    Posted 6 months ago #

  8. amanda918
    Member

    Nomi! My fingers AND toes (that's how Lauren does it..) are crossed until monday when you find out if you got in or not! Promise to post the SECOND you find out ok??! ANd myyyyyy goodness you certainly ate your fair share of fruit today! Although that's probably really good because all those vitamins and minerals and stuff can kick the petunias out of that cold you got brewing! Have fun at play practice and keep those smiley's coming

    Posted 6 months ago #

  9. Keepushin
    Member

    Naomi!! Haha girl, you crack me up...I love your smileys hehe. Ahhh good luck on the Gap program!!! You find out so soon..very exciting...I'm hoping for you big time! That performance must have been amazing to see...lots better than class I'm sure

    Hope today was fantastic love! <3 KP

    Posted 6 months ago #

  10. cookiemonster
    Member

    Hey Nomi with the luscious fur ! Lol I will think of you next time I eat carrot cake. With lots of thick yummy ICING. Hey if its got carrots in it its healthy..right? Right ! Rabbits love their carrots lol. Omg so WHEN you get accepted ( I know you will, so its mostly when than if) and you will audition and blow them away with your talent youre going to be like in Glee except in real life ! How awesome ! I wish I could see you perform it must be so exciting and such a rush !!
    Happy for you!

    Posted 6 months ago #

  11. Nat
    Member

    Far Out Woman, would you stop with all your followers!! Is this some kinda of cult! Geezus.
    Im glad you enjoyed another coffee loner date haha. They are golden
    Goodluck on this Gap program, I cant wait to hear some news very soon. And that a capella group sounds fantastic! Shutup about not being good enough you silly sausage. Fear is the only thing that gets in the way of achieving our dreams.. we're too scared of failing or being hurt but really, what bad can come of this? DO IT!. xxxx

    Posted 6 months ago #

  12. sophesxo14
    Member

    hey nomi! YES my name is sophie! im so surprised you got it(: most people guess sophia! i use soph because thats what i always get called. sometimes i would even write it on my sheets for homework haha! (: oh my gosh yes this forum has helped me so much. thank you for all the amazing welcomes & stuff(; i say yes to that! i was in grease! i played rizzo. i love plays and musicals. i did annie on tour when i was in 5th grade, that was so cool! but i havent done anything since grease which was in september. what plays have you done? and i love your smileys! this one is my favorite for sure super cool. AH you are going to make the gap program i know it! keep thinking positive about it! starbucks is my death trap. i always get grandes and that is NOT a good idea. my friends always meet up with me and im bouncing off the walls! (ps i go to starbucks all the time alone, so much more fun(; have a great night xoxo soph

    Posted 6 months ago #

  13. Louise
    Member

    Hello happy smiley peppy Naomi.. hope rehearsal is going well..
    I used to be in a small theatre, in small plays, Jack and & the bean stalk, sance shows, i use to do tap dancing...ha ha ha ha Loved it.. them were days ...ooh eeeehhhYou are funny, you just can't shut can you not...heeheehee, good, don't want you to shut up, especially when you ramble about breeding grounds for little happy yellow people... its classic and puts a bloody smile on my face !!..hmmmmm yellow, that's a word I DON'T TYPE VERY OFTEN... whoops went into caps...
    Love ya babe xxxxxxx

    Posted 6 months ago #

  14. Lauren
    Member

    Ok Nomi..I'm holding you to that..your first Broadway show, I want front row tickets Haha sounds like you are like me, keep Starbucks in business And yes I can tell that you had a grande latte with that OD on although I prefer smiling Nomi to sad Nomi any day of the week! So which college is the hard college with the amazing capella group? If its Colombia or NYU, and you get it, I'll have to come play with you there I LOVE NYC! I'll keep my fingers crossed you get the gap year..but I'm sure you will!! I'm so excited for you about your play! Did I already ask what role are you playing? Have another great day~ L

    Posted 6 months ago #

  15. Hope777
    Member

    Hey Naomi, i scrolled through your post quickly and saw so many smilies ..haha you are too funny. OF COURSE i will send you my dress, maybe we cant start a little clothing exchange. I always hate everything i have but everyone else loves my clothes..and i of course love everyone else's. That so exciting about that college! How many are you looking at? Hope you had a great rehearsal!!!

    <3 Liz

    Posted 6 months ago #

  16. thepurplerabbit
    Member

    Steph, I WOULD go back and count the number of smileys I use per post - really, I'd love to - but quite honestly I don't have the time. That's some heavy duty counting right there (1 ...) And thank you, you're so sweet! You win the prize for cheeriest gravatar ever though, hands down

    <-- for you, Amanda, of COURSE they'll keep coming but that's really not much of a conscious choice, it's more of a serious addiction by now ... and I will post the second I find out so all of you can console/congratulate me! (hopefully the latter ...) haha I did eat a lot of fruit, didn't I? Well that might have worked, I don't feel sick at all anymore! I really do think it was the coldeez though ... seriously, they're kind of gross and they make everything you eat afterwards taste like shit (even water) but they are little miracle workers!

    Thanks KP! And yes I'm still amazed at the performance ... I would love to do acapella, but I've never had a chance since the only acapella group at my high school is guys barbershop! I'll seize my chance in college

    Anou -- real life Glee would be GREAT the group I saw is less current pop though .. although they did do really cool movements/dance-like things ... I hope you're right about me getting in but now I'm way ahead of myself ... tell you what, if you ever happen to be in a city where I have a show, drop by and I'll smuggle you in. I'm sneaky ...

    ooooooh Nat, I've always wanted to have a cult! And all of you can be my minions ... (what? who said that? I didn't say that) seriously I'm so happy when I see all of your posts, you guys are the bestest of the bestest. Thanks for the encouragement Natty NatNat

    Hey Soph! YES I am definitely psychic Rizzo is amazing, you must have had so much fun! And the other musicals sound great, we definitely share crazy musical love! I'm doing Antigone at the moment, so not as cheery to say the least (more like gruesome and emotionally exhausting) but I love it I'm really glad this forum is helping you too!

    Louise, that's awesome you've been in plays - and tap too! I've been thinking of taking tap classes at a studio by my house ... is it really fun? It seems like a very effective stress reliever And you should type the word yellow more often - after all, it IS the best color on the color wheel (ooooh is that provocative statement going to ignite a color wheel war? let's see...)

    haha tickets? You got it Lauren I'm doing Antigone and I'm Chorus/Iokaste, but looking forward to a bigger role in the next show I do! And the college in question is Yale haha it used to be my absolute dream school and I was obsessed with getting in (obsessed with all of the Ivies actually, it was sort of disgusting come to think of it ) but now I feel like I have a much healthier outlook and could be happy at lots of different schools. I have to confess though, the singing group did make me want to get in more!

    Hey everyone and thank you thank you thank you for the comments! they're so lovely I could eat them Today has been ... wait for it ... BUSY (shocker) but really good! I taught the freshman advisory I mentor their weekly lesson plan, went to the follow-up meeting, met to talk about our trip to Ghana in 2 WEEKS (eek! so excited), went to student gov for an hour, had a giant ice cream sundae for lunch with friends before skedaddling to rehearsal at 2, where we warmed up/ran various scenes until 4, which was when our preview show started and we got out at around 6! wheeewwwwww haha

    The show went really well! It was only a preview - about 20 people were there - so tomorrow is our REAL opening night, but it was helpful to have an audience. I feel like I gave a better performance than I ever have, probably because of adrenaline, so that was good! And we got to do make-up along with our costumes this time, which was fun ... hopefully my skin will survive

    Okay ... ready for guy drama section??!!! (who isn't?) It's not really drama, actually, just a situation that's bothering me/ making me confused. Confused, bemused, and amused. And emotionally abused. (I often burst into rhyme schemes in the late hours of th night ... just pretend it's normal ) So to everyone who hasn't heard the story, the abridged version is that I kind of fell for a guy and I was convinced he liked me too (HEAVY flirting, so I thought, but also it was just a gut feeling) but before anything could happen (which it probably wouldn't anyway since I always run away from those situations) I found out he had a girlfriend. Yeah. *Awkward turtle* Anyway, I can definitely laugh about it (bitterly...) and I wasn't heartbroken or anything, just VERY surprised since my instincts have always been good and I could have sworn I wasn't making that mutual attraction thing up. So now I've been distant, blah blah blah ... drifting apart as friends and all that. Just because it's weird going through all that ...

    Anyway, today was just exasperating because he doesn't really give a shit that I'm pulling back, and is just ... well, I WOULD say that it's like he's challenging me to keep flirting with him and not pull back, if that makes sense, but obviously my instincts are much shittier than I thought so I have no idea, what he's doing, maybe he acts like that to all girls. In which case he should definitely tone it down, or some poor, unsuspecting girl is going to be pissed when she figures out he's actually not single after all that buildup (ahem. me, a few months ago) It's so strange, we'll make eye contact across the room and look away, and he'll pull a chair up next to mine and while I'm trying to pay attention to whatever meeting or lecture is going on, he'll whisper in my ear and needle me about things and elbow me and play with the fucking hole in my pants leg, which I formerly ASSUMED was not friend behavior, but apparently his intense friendliness knows no bounds. The really crappy thing though, is that he's not just some airhead player ... he's a really good guy and it's exactly the kind of clever, battle-of-the-wits, almost mocking back-and-forth that I like. So it's really difficult to remind myself that I can't be attracted to him when I literally can feel him breathing right next to me. I can't be angry at him because he didn't do anything wrong, and he's one of the best people I've ever met so it's out of the question that he would seriously hit on me when he has a girlfriend he loves. But I guess I'm still flirting back, except this time it's like the dynamics shifted and I'm a little harsher, my guard is way up. And I feel like he KNOWS it, like he knows everything and we're just not saying it, but I guess that's wrong. Anyway, I also get some satisfaction in flirting with his really attractive best friend, who, sadly, I am not at ALL attracted to ... it's relatively fun though and his best friend is a great guy. That makes it a little better, if I'm with his best friend and I see him looking. But it shouldn't, since he's not actually jealous, and it doesn't make me feel THAT much better. So basically, my love life is shit, so don't ever come to me for advice! (moral of the story, the end.)

    woooooow look at that essay! This must be the longest post EVER. I am so truly, deeply sorry if you actually read that monster, that was me rambling and no one should have to sit through that anyway, food log and I'll be done, I swear!

    B: 2 pieces irish soda bread, coffee
    S: irish soda bread, banana
    L: mint/choc. ice cream/fudge sundae , spinach pastry
    D: potatoes, mushrooms, asparagus, guacamole, a few random pieces of dried fruit/ginger

    good night everyone! deepest apologies again for the drama queen post ... it was a theme today

    Posted 6 months ago #

  17. Lauren
    Member

    Oh man girl...Yale!! Whoa if you get into there, you have to go!! I don't know what your grades and SATs are but I would love to see you go there so you can join that amazing singing group...and so I can say I have a friend that goes to Yale and feel vicariously smart thru you Did you apply to any other Ivys? I'm glad though you realize that there are many options out there and it doesn't have to be an Ivey league school. My parents did not give me an option because Univ. of Ga is basically free for in-state so no shooting for the stars for me Your going to Ghana the same time I'm going on my trip! So we'll get back with lots of fun stories to tell each other!! Wow your day sounds deliciously busy!

    Wow interesting guy drama. Hmm I can semi-relate to that story as I had a guy friend in hs who always seemed to give me the signals and flirt even though he had a gf. That does leave you in an awkward situation not knowing whether he is really interested in your or just playing games. I feel sorry for his girlfriend. Even if he is a nice guy, you still deserve better than that. Have fun flirting, but know that its not going to probably go anywhere so you don't end up hurt.

    Good job rocking your role in the rehearsal! ~L

    Posted 6 months ago #

  18. Lorena
    Member

    Oooooh thats a hard one!

    Well i would probably do what you are doing now and would feel exactly the same. Maybe he likes you but as he has a girlf he has to keep a certain distance so you putting up a wall is making him think 'ok this is good as i can't get too close' if that makes sense, so in a way you can flirt but there is a boundry which he's happy with. If you were open to him then he wouldn't know what to do with himself but yeah i bet he knows the score and whats going on.

    Hummm what to go though! The thing is he has a girlf and there's nothing you can do about it which is a shitter but yeah i guess you can't feel bad as we can;t help how we feel and maybe he's in a relationship that he can't get out of and yeah he may love his girlf but is he inlove. I know this feeling, i have been there but i know it's terrible and i'm not impressed with what i did, but i gave in to temptation. I was in a relationship which i felt i HAD to be in - 8.5 years, but wasn't in love but felt trapped but loved the guy, and then met strauss and i knew what real love was and well the rest is history, got with him and were together for over a year and now i'm not lol.

    Relationships are hard as you feel you owe your partner something and stay with them just for that when really people need to be selfish sometimes.

    Anyway this COULD be whats going on with him.

    I hope this helps, not sure it does though lol

    Posted 6 months ago #

  19. El
    Member

    Hey Nomi
    Wow - 2 weeks to go !!! I really can't wait to hear about it - I'm going to get my act together and do something like in the next couple of years.
    Wish we could see your performance - I used to act a lot at school and haven't for years - I should as I am one of the biggest drama ueens I know - ha ha
    Oh my - your man drama sounds crazy - guys are so confusing. Ok - so flirting is fun...so long as you don't get hurt.
    It might be fun for him - but if you like him then it can be hard to keep emotionally detached from that.
    I was always told to keep my powder dry - I think they meant just keep yourself safe and happy and protected - and to just remain aware....having said that I am rubbish with men - ha ha ha
    xxx

    Posted 6 months ago #

  20. amanda918
    Member

    Hey Nomi! I actually read that post and I think you should stop making excuses for this guy! I'm sure he's a great guy and all, but you ain't crazyyy! The things he's doing are NOT normal "friend" things.. they are crossing the line.. and just think if he was your boyfriend, would you be okay with him doing the things hes doing to you to another girl? ya know what I mean? But you do whatever you want cause he's a good friend of yours. But if I'm doing the math right on your last post, tonight seems to be opening night.. So BREAK A LEG!!!! I know you'll do great and can't wait to hear how everything went!!

    Posted 6 months ago #

  21. Lauren
    Member

    Hope Broadway scouts are in the audience tonight being blown away by your performance Mwah, Lozzie

    Posted 6 months ago #

  22. thepurplerabbit
    Member

    Lauren - I did apply to a few more Ivys but at the time I applied I was in a different mindset than I am now and I think were I to pick my college list now I would change a few things. It's okay though - I still would love to get into a lot of the schools I applied to! I find out from all but one school on April 1st, which is when I'm in Ghana actually ... not sure how that's going to work :/ oh well-I'm really not that nervous which is good (plus I'm already in 2 schools, so that's some pressure off). Thanks for the guy advice ... it's lucky I don't have classes with him except for those meetings one day a week (and lunch, but I avoid him quite effectively ), so I don't have to deal with it all the time.
    I can't wait to exchange travel stories !

    Thanks for the advice Lorena It's really confusing and kind of aggravating ... but I guess I'll never really know what's going through his head and I don't need to. You're really sweet to give me perspective though <3

    haha El my powder is VERY dry, thank you very much And you're right, I'm not that great with emotional detachment. I wish you could see my show too! But in lieu of actually coming, just keep reading for a recap ...

    Thanks Amanda! ughhh I know it sounds like he's doing something weird or wrong when it's on paper, but I swear just knowing him I trust him and he's not that kind of guy ... I guess it does sound like I'm making excuses for him though. It's just ... hard to explain? Thanks for reaffirming my sanity though And you read on for play news too!

    Lauren (again <3 ) Thanks! I don't know about scouts, but the play went great

    Hey everyone! I was going to post yesterday night but then I decided "nah, showering off fake blood and costume stink takes priority" so I didn't The boots for my show, by the way, literally turn my socks yellow. Yummy. But I want to tell you about the show! Opening night went great and very exciting (sometimes unintentionally so - more on that in a bit). I was worried because I felt great at the preview show the day before, but my day turned to crap yesterday when my teacher (THAT teacher, for you faithful longtime readers out there ) was pissed the entire class period and yelled at me and just made me so stressed ... so after school I had an hour off, which I spent running around doing work/making up a test for that teacher, and then ran to Starbucks where I met some friends, got caffeine/sugar-stocked, and headed back to school for call at 4. I was trying to get out of my bad mood but it's hard of me ... when I'm sad it's hard for me to rebound quickly - I act cheerful but I really need time alone. Anyway, we rehearsed and warmed up and got costumes on, and I still felt bad. I was starting to get worried because I thought it would affect my performance and I really wanted to enjoy opening night! I didn't want to flub my lines or give less than my best because I was feeling unstable ... even putting on make-up frustrated me because my nose was peeling since apparently my skin is not too happy with the layer of white face make-up it's being subjected to ... and meditation/focus time during warm-ups didn't even help, I still felt tense and nervous.

    BUT (and this is why I love acting) once the play started it was just gone. I don't know how it happens but it's like a switch, like I was sad backstage and then I stepped out and it took maybe 30 seconds for me to be completely focused and mentally in the play. It's like all the energy I have is going toward the show, and all the adrenaline is just focused on what I have to do. It's a very intense feeling, like I'm very calm but there's all this adrenaline running through me ... I'm so thankful it works like that. Unfortunately though, no more than 5 minutes into the show at a VERY dramatic death scene, the school fire alarm went off!!! I think the poor audience thought it was planned and we just kept going, but then our director told us to stop. The ENTIRE auditorium evacuated and we all just went outside, costumes and all, trying to stay focused amidst all the craziness until we could go back and keep going! We eventually got back inside, pulled ourselves together, and the show went off beautifully

    ****But THIS IS THE BEST PART OF THE STORY SO DON'T STOP READING. You guys might have heard, but actors are known as a very superstitious bunch. Maybe the biggest superstition is that you CANNOT, in any circumstances, EVER say the word "Macbeth" inside a theater. From the Steppenwolf Theatre Company website (see, I'm citing my sources!):

    "Don’t say Macbeth, or even quote that play, in a theater. Ever. Theater people believe it will bring disaster. In actual fact, Constantine Stanislavski, Orson Welles and Charlton Heston all suffered some catastrophe during or just after a production of “The Scottish Play.” In 1849, more than 30 New Yorkers were killed when rioting broke out during a performance of the play. Abe Lincoln read it the night before he was assassinated. If someone else quotes from “The Scottish Play“ inside a theater, you must utter the words “Angels and ministers of grace defend us!” Then the offender must leave the house, turn around widdershins (counterclockwise) three times, swear and knock to be readmitted.

    The superstition seems to have arisen, in part, from the play’s depiction of witchcraft, still a vital (though contested) belief in 1606, when the play was first performed. Like Marlowe’s Doctor Faustus, in which staged incantations were occasionally reported to have raised real devils, “The Scottish Play“ was believed to flirt dangerously with the “Powers of Evil,“ bringing catastrophe down upon productions over the succeeding centuries."

    So here's the thing: as we were were standing outside in the sleet/cold in full costume, one of our actors remembered: that day, during 6th period drama class, one of our friends had said "Macbeth" inside our theater And then .. the fire alarm went off spontaneously (we still don't know how that happened) during our opening night.
    CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY!!!!!!! We all kind of freaked out. It was SO weird ... so the curses are true, apparently (Disclaimer: I don't actually believe in all this, but it's a lot of fun to go with it and it IS such a creepy coincidence that all these theater disasters happen having to do with Macbeth ... it's like even if you don't believe it, if you're in theater you have to respect theater lore.) A bunch of people DO believe it though, or are at least legit creeped out by it, including our director. When she heard what had happened, she did the whole cleansing ritual (leave the theater, spin around/brush yourself off, say Macbeth 3 times or quote a line from shakespeare) before the play continued. So THAT is my opening night story.

    **Just to add, the situation also is a bit funny because a few of the actors, including me, are actually reading Macbeth for our AP Lit class backstage ... reading it is ok funnily enough. So we have to be REALLY careful haha

    Foodwise I've been good, if eating on the run/not particularly healthy. I'll update more tonight but for now I have an hour before call for tonight's show and I want to read the last act of Macbeth for lit before I have to leave starbucks

    Posted 5 months ago #

  23. Lauren
    Member

    It will be something to look forward to finding out when you get home!! You'll have to PM and tell me where you get into!! I know I can't wait to hear about your trip! and Oh no I know those Broadway Scouts were there being knocked off their socks by you!

    Ok first...sorry about your teacher...what a huge biotch! Making my Nomi feel sad all day! But its awesome that you get into that zone during the play...thats called being 100% in the moment!! Thats why you love it so much...thats the best life has to offer! I'm glad the play went over well. Damn though that sucks about the fire alarm!! That MacBeth thing is CRAZY!! haha I would probably believe it on some level too if I was big into the drama world..that hilarious what the play director did as a cleansing ritual!!!

    I'm so glad your happy and its going so well my future Meryl Streep (not in looks, but as best actress EVER) ~Lozzie

    Posted 5 months ago #

  24. amanda918
    Member

    WOW. Good story... seriously that was a good one! And opening nights are also some sort of chaos or disarray, yours was just brought on by a curse! I'm so glad though that your bad mood went away the second you stepped on stage and you were able to really get into and enjoy the performance... SCREW THAT TEACHER! And keep drinking starbucks.. it fixes everything haha! I'm thinking like an IV or something with soy lattes flowing through your vains constantly even dr. green thinks you should! Well I'm sure you had an even better performance last night (second one is always the best!) and can maybe get some sleep one of these days? Hahahaha just kidding.. I'm NOT your mom!!!!

    Posted 5 months ago #

  25. Hope777
    Member

    Ugh i hate bitchy teachers.. I pledge now to NEVER be one of those. How could she make our sweet Naomi feel bad grr! Well thats amazing that acting makes you feel that way. When i am racing i usually feel that way too..everything melts away and i am totally in the moment. Its an amazing feeling! I always believe in those creepy suspertition type things..actually reading that kinda creeped me out haha. Break a leg tonight!!!!!!

    <3 Liz

    Posted 5 months ago #

  26. Lorena
    Member

    Hey Lady,

    Yeah i've heard of that! and that is creepy. Glad the fire alarm just went of and noone got killed like Lincon though lol.

    So it went well? I'm happy for you! What play are you performing?

    Posted 5 months ago #

  27. Louise
    Member

    MACBETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..................creepy. Glad the performance went well, despite the extra long half time bit.
    Naomi... GREEN!!! green green green
    Naomi, you have to be one of the most energetic, funny and intellegent people I have ever 'met' !!Love how you are immediately in the zone... you are a true natural, obviously
    LOL xxxxx

    Posted 5 months ago #

  28. El
    Member

    Hey Nomi,
    I LOVE Macbeth - such a great play and also the superstition surrounding it - all adds to the feeling of the play. - Ha ha - I love the cleansing ritual.....that's funny.
    Firstly - what a shit that teacher is - but I totally get what you mean about finding those moods hard to shake. I will be in a great mood...and sometimes all it takes is one person to change that for the rest of the day - it's a we can't hop on a stage whenever we need to shake a bad mood -
    xxx

    Posted 5 months ago #

  29. thepurplerabbit
    Member

    Quickie: I am still alive (though the term "alive" is debatable considering the amount of homework I have, and the supreme bitchiness - thanks for the support on that, although it's a man-bitch guys - of my teacher today). Thank you for all your wonderful fantastic lovely comments, your support is amazing and gives me the warm fuzzies. I'll be posting soon but I have a show the next 4 nights so "soon" might also be debatable .... I will post on all of your journals when you get back, I promise! (I feel bad ...)

    I LOVE ALL OF YOU xoxoxoxox

    Posted 5 months ago #

  30. Lauren
    Member

    GOOD LUCK ON YOUR SHOWS!!!! We'll be waiting to hear how brilliant your performance has been Hope you are loving every second of it!! ~L

    Posted 5 months ago #

  31. Louise
    Member

    Good luck, break a leg, as they say.. looking forward to hearing from you xxxx

    Posted 5 months ago #

  32. Nat
    Member

    Nomi! GOODLUCK CHOOKAS BREAK A LEG!!!! You will be fabulous. Sorry i havent posted in a while. i had a cadbury creme egg in your honour the other night. THen got sick for some reason and spewed it up. haha so i thought i better come and tap in on the real thing. Its great youve been so busy so you can take all of your thoughts off eating. yay! xx

    Posted 5 months ago #

  33. amanda918
    Member

    I miss you!!! But I hope you're having fun with all your shows!!!

    Posted 5 months ago #

  34. thepurplerabbit
    Member

    HEY GUYS!!!!!!!!!! Long time no see! I know, I know, I'm sorry - I've definitely been slacking. And I leave for Ghana tomorrow so I won't be here for another 10 days ... but I thought it would be polite to let you all know I haven't fallen off the face of the earth or anything.

    soooo quick news, numbered for your convenience:
    1. The plays went GREAT! And I got a lot of compliments on my part, which makes me want to do theater even more than I did already
    2. I'm leaving for Ghana tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Did I mention?
    3. I got into 2 more really good colleges and I got the National Merit Scholarship
    4. I got asked to prom in an ADORABLE way by this guy that I didn't even really know liked me ... he's great. He's also the best friend of the guy I've been talking about. Let's not talk about it. *bangs head against wall*
    5. I'm. leaving. for. Ghana. tomorrow.
    6. Eating has been ok, but sometimes I've slipped up without you guys to help me stay on track ... nothing too bad though. Trips are always so hard for me, so I really would love to stay in control this next week and a half! I'm going to try really hard.
    7.I got into that gap year program I was talking about!!! which means I'm moving to NYC in September and teaching for a year in underperforming elementary schools. I've already met some people who are also doing the program through facebook - and even found roommates! - and we get along really well! (I hope it's the same when we actually meet each other ...) I'm so excited!
    8. I'M GOING TO GHANA TOMORROW.

    I hope all of you are doing loverly I will post and read your journals when I come back! But for now, forgive me for being away for so long? I hope absence really does make the heart grow fonder. <3

    Posted 5 months ago #

  35. cookiemonster
    Member

    OMG I got so excited when I saw a post from you lol ! Wow Ghana that is going to be a crazy trip ! Be safe and enjoy yourself and have fun and tell us all about it when you come back !
    Im so happy that you got all the recognition you deserved ( in the plays+ the colleges that accepted you and the scholarship + the awesome guy that invited you to prom) hehe
    The future looks bright for you my lovely rabbit ! Have fun xoxoxoxox

    Posted 5 months ago #

  36. Sez
    Member

    Sounds like life is pretty exciting for you at the moment PR!!
    Hope you have a great time in Ghana. Can't wait to hear about it!!
    xxx Sarah

    Posted 5 months ago #

  37. amanda918
    Member

    NOMI! I missed ya girl! Have fun in Ghana!! And OMG you got into the gap year program and you're going to be a stone throw away from my back yard!! So exciting!! And I'm glad you found a new boy.. he sounds like a winner being creative and asking you to prom! No worries that he's the friend of that other guy.. the other guy is so lost in his own confusion he won't even realize what's going on.. (okay he will but who cares!). I know you'll stay in control on your trip.. you're a different person then you were before so enjoy it and be safe! I'll be here waiting for you to come back

    Posted 5 months ago #

  38. Lorena
    Member

    Hey me lovely rabbit,

    I've missed you! but glad to see you're ok and wow there's some good things coming up for you!! Am loving the good news! and enjoy Ghana. Have an amazing time.

    Can't wait to hear all about it when you come back.

    Posted 5 months ago #

  39. Louise
    Member

    Oooooh you are funny !!!

    hey, are you going to Ghana ??? ha haha ha

    Enjoy, and well done on your play !! Bravo honey xxxx

    Posted 5 months ago #

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