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sophie's journal

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Started 5 months ago by sophesxo14
Latest reply from Lauren

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sophesxo14
Member

hi! im sophie(: well- two years ago i was overweight from BED and unhappy with my body. so i began to restrict which led to serious problems including (painful to admit!) anorexia): i had to gain back weight and got to a perfect weight. towards the end of my recovery i began having binges once again. now i am just working on eating to maintain my weight! of course sometimes, i still feel uncomfortable in my body but i know that will always be something to worry about. emotional eating is still a problem for me and i have only been binge free for a week but i know that i can beat this and i really look forward to talking to you all and getting to know you! lots of love, sophie(:

Posted 5 months ago #
Lorena
Member

Hey Sophie,

Welcome to the site and i just want to say Well done on 1 week binge free! Thats awesome hun. I hope you are proud right now coz that is a huge acheivement and show that you really want to beat this!!

Soory to hear about your past issue with weight. I think you'll find that a lot on here. Weight issues are what seemed to have caused this for many people and also emotional eating so you'll find so many others in the same boat.

Definately start a journal though and write down your thoughts and emotions and when upset or stressed try writing it on here rather than turning to food.

Good luck hun. From now on you're gonna do great

Posted 5 months ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hey Sophie! Glad you started a journal. I think mine has helped me so much, not only because of the amazing support but also because its good to sort out our emotions and look back and see our progress and the areas we can work on. A week is really great !
Its hard work to get back to a normal relationship with food when were used to dabbling in different spectrums of disordered eating and we become kinda disconnected from our hunger cues and from rational thinking when it comes to food ! In the end what we all strive for is balance !
Take care xox

Posted 5 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hey Sophie!
I think you will really find a lot of help and support here. Its great to come here and talk about the emotions we feel towards our bodies or whatever other struggles in our lives..I think you have a really positive attitude and its wonderful you are a week binge free! I look forward to reading your posts!!!

<3 Lizzie

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey Sophie! Wanted to welcome you. Thats great that you have overcome anorexia...you will be able to over come BED too. Thats great you've already gotten 1 week binge free behind you. The main key for you will be to make sure you aren't still dieting/restricting at all and to start to develop other coping mechanisms besides eating to deal with your emotions. You can do this! Keep posting! ~Lauren

Posted 5 months ago #
sophesxo14
Member

hey guys! thank you all so much for the amazing welcomes(: i know we can beat this! today already started off a little on the bingey side but i stopped myself. as i finished my toast with organic peanut butter & jelly and my bowl of berries, i still felt hungry. so i started eating a tropical fruit bar from whole foods but then i stopped! it was really hard knowing i still wanted it, but i stopped anyway. well im super jealous of all the nice weather you all are having! in london its 35 degrees! but its a litttle sunny (; my body image is pretty crummy at the moment but i know im not seeing the real picture. okay so eats?

breakfast: toast with natural peanut butter & cherry fruit spread. blackberries, blueberries, raspberries. 1/2 a raw food bar.
lunch: chicken sliced on salad (all the works!) with raspberry basil dressing, cranberries, and walnuts. a glass of milk
snack: frozen yogurt with strawberry and banana slices
dinner: wholewheat penne with tomato sauce and mozzarella
snack: smoothie made with mango, strawberries, mango & apple juice, ice. topped with some quinoa cereal.

im thinking about going on a bikeride today with my sister! i think that will make me feel really good. have a great day!
xoxo
soph

Posted 5 months ago #
Lorena
Member

Hey Sophie,

Your food looks really good, like really good and so healthy!! Can you come and cook for me please?

You're in London right? Well i live in Bedford which is about 45 mins away on the train so there is NO excuse for you not to come and make me my dinner hehe.

That's good that you allowed yourself to have 1/2 of a bar and well done on stopping yourself from binging, but remember if you are hungry do eat.

Have a great bike ride!!

Posted 5 months ago #
noimae
Member

hello. I'm so proud of you that you've stopped eating the bar. This is such an important step. Keep on doing well.

I'm going to London today, so sending you lots of positive energy ;

Posted 5 months ago #
Ecu
Member

Hey welcome! Think if you can overcome anorexia, then you absolutely have the energy to win the battle agains BE! Food is just food, the thing is right here, in our mind. Great improvement with that BF week and also by knowing when enough is enough.

Can´t wait to read about you

Posted 5 months ago #
jent
Member

Welcome to the forum Congrats on a week. Keep on keepin on!

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey Sophie! Great job getting thru the day and stopping with that food bar when you realized you really weren't hungry anymore! You must have brought that raw food bar over because I know there can't be a Whole Foods in London! What part of the States are you from? Sorry the weather is still chilly over there...hopefully Spring will get there pretty soon! Your food looks seriously DELICIOUS!! Hope you have a nice day and get that bike ride in with your sis! btw how long are you in London for? Hugs, Lauren

Posted 5 months ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hey Sophie !
Thats huge progress that you managed to stop while eating that bar, it means you were really mindful when you were eating it and thats a hard thing to accomplish. I really want to visit London one day, despite the weather!
Your food looks perfect and yummy and healthy !I can totally relate with your body image suffering, but you look great on your pic !

Posted 5 months ago #
thepurplerabbit
Member

Hi Sophie! It's great you came here, welcome! Everyone here is awesome but I'm sure you've already discovered that

congrats on 1 week! That's a big deal, it was so hard for me to make it over a week when I first started trying to stop bingeing ... your food sounds delicious and very healthy, but make sure if you want something unhealthy you let yourself have it. Restricting is just a bad idea all around ... and of course when you're hungry, eat! Even if you feel like you shouldn't be hungry with the amount of food you had ... eating intuitively is tough but it's definitely the way to go.

Have a great night!

** also, I read your food list again and I'm kind of salivating. haha that's a GOOD sign

Posted 5 months ago #
Louise
Member

Raspberry Basil Dressing................. Oh my !!!!! Gotta get me some of that !!!
Welcome to the site Sophie, nice to meet you..
Sorry to hear about your past difficulties, but you're in the right place here.. the most amazing support! I have come on leaps and bounds since meeting all these guys
Can I ask why you stopped eating the tropical fruit bar ? You said you were still hungry and you wanted to eat it, so i am confused as to why you stopped ?
Your food is DEVINE, OMG!!!
I am English too, although currently living the expat life in the Middle East.. my mum keeps me informed of the temperatures over there every day ha ha ha .. bless.. it'll warm up soon.. i hear the spring buds are coming out now and the clocks go forward in 2 weeks

Posted 5 months ago #
sophesxo14
Member

lorena: hey girl! sure- ill just hop on a train and cook you something up! hope your in the mood for a late dinner(; thank you for that reminder. i cant restrict my body from what it needs, but i really thought if i kept eating it would lead to an overeat! just being on the safe side. next time, i wont stop because i know i have more control then to binge!
noimae: thank you! thats so great that we are in the same city. sending you positive vibes from a couple of miles away!
ecu: aww im so grateful for your sweet hello! your right, food IS just food.
lauren: hey! thank you for the comment(: guess what?! there is a whole foods in london! there are a couple! there is one big one which has all the american stuff. i have one a ten minute run away from my house so sometimes i go on a little run there and eat at the salad bar and get some goodies! im from new york. how about you? seriously i hope the spring comes soon too! I MISS THE SUN. im supposed to be in london for one more year and then i should be moving back to new york- i love it here, but i get homesick sometimes!
anou: oooh come to london! its an amazing place. and thank you so much for your kind words and your compliment! you are so gorgeous in your photo as well! when was that taken? i know sometimes we have trouble remembering what we really look like but sometimes we need a little reminder.
nomi: hey! yes everyone is amazing here, including you(; thank you for all your amazing feedback and nice words. its good to hear that you have been here before! not binging one week was a very crazy idea to me a couple weeks back but its becoming better and better each day!good point- your right. i always try to eat healthy most the time but i love treats! had one today(: i know, restricting is HORRIBLE! i didnt intentionally, i didnt even think of it that way! i just thought i was leading into a binge so i stopped. i have to keep listening to my body though, you are so right! (:
louise: ahhh hello fellow brit! im a fake brit, i have only lived here 2years though! im american. thanks for the wonderful support(: i stopped eating the bar because i was in the moment feeling a binge coming on): i should have kept eating it but after i put it down i realized i wasnt even hungry! but i should eat when i feel hungry at the moment, great point! oooh where do you live in the middle east? thats so cool! darn, wish you had raspberry basil dressing over there! its sweet and basily at the same time. whats your fav?

WOW! sorry for the long responses but i just want to thank you all so much. all the welcomes were really fantastic. i cant believe how helpful and great this forum is! sometimes i feel like no one really relates but you all really get where im coming from(: today was a crazy day. i woke up this morning and my hair was all over the place. seriously! i looked like some sort of jungle animal, it took me 20 extra minutes just to get it down again! anyway (random) i walked downstairs to see my mom had made oat pancakes with blueberries. shes gluten free so we have been eating these since we were little! even though im 17, pancakes never get old. school was great SO MUCH WORK! it was sunnier today thank goodness. whats it like everywhere else? sunny im hoping(: so you can all have a sunshiney day! at lunch after nomi reminded me that not everything has to be healthy, i realized i wont die from eating things i like. sometimes i just feel better eating healthily, but everything is good in moderation. went for a run in the park after school! heres what i ate today:

breakfast: blueberry oat pancakes with organic maple syrup, bowl of fruit, a coconut rolled date.
lunch: wholewheat pb & j, pomegranate juice, banana, organic strawberry vanilla yogurt, 2 chocolate chip cookies (!!)
snack: milk and treacle and pecan granola, blueberries
dinner: basil and chilli chicken, brown rice, LOTS of veggies stirfried
snack: fruitus bar crumbled in vanilla yogurt, melon

SORRY FOR THE SUPER LONG POST! thanks all so much(: have a great night!

Posted 5 months ago #
Hope777
Member

hey Sophie! Your food looks REALLY great, healthy and a perfect amount! I am a biggg lover of breakfast foods so i would be gobbling down those pancakes! I totally feel you with that waking up with crazy hair..i wake up and im like WOW WHAT WAS I DOING DURING THE NIGHT..my boyfriends always laughs at me when we wake up hehe :). Its great you were able to run outside with that nice sunshine..i wasnt as lucky here.. anyway have a nice night sweetie!!!!!

<3 Liz

Posted 5 months ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hehe thanks Soph. The pic was on new years this year actually. Before that I used to have blunt bangs for a while but now Im growing them out. Lol at taming your lion hair ! And major YUM for those pancakes. How great is it that with intuitive eating you can enjoy all that variety of food without worrying that someone else prepared it or measuring stuff. And you challenged yourself with the chocolate chip cookies and nothing happened ! Thats great ! Its ok to have a nice balance of healthy and not so healthy foods to keep our bodies nourished and our tastebuds satisfied.
Today was a super sunny day here as well ! If you call your post long wait till you see mine hehe

Posted 5 months ago #
thepurplerabbit
Member

yay I'm so happy you stopped trying too hard to eat the "right" thing and instead just had what you wanted ... those 2 cookies probably made you satisfied enough to prevent a binge in the long run out of sugar desperation!

You're doing great! Jealous of your sunny days though ... grrrrrr ....

P.S. I HAVE LION HAIR TOO ... humidity unleashes my inner feral beast

Posted 5 months ago #
amanda918
Member

Hey Soph! I just caught up on your journal and I'm pleasantly surprised! Most people (including myself!) start off this journals in kind of a negative place with all the wrong attitudes about food and what's right and wrong, but I already feel like you've got your head on straight and are ready to make the change and DOING IT RIGHT! Your food looks so yummy and its so good that you're accepting that the only thing you really have to do is maintain your weight, no loose, so NO RESTRICTING! Lots of times, when you eat the right amount for your body, you end up loosing weight anyway because your metabolism is so stoked. I look forward to reading more of your posts! Also, you said you used to live in the states, what area?!

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Oh cool there is a WF in London?! I didn't know that!! Good to know so if I ever take a travel nursing job there I know I'll have something to eat Oh so your family moved to London for 4 years?! Wow...are you planning to go to college in NY? I'm from Atlanta! Mmm I LOVE pancakes..and your mom's sound sooo good!!! Glad you had a nice day and got in a pretty run in the park! It was rainy here today but hopeful the sun will be out tomorrow! Hope your having a good nights sleep! ~L

Posted 5 months ago #
Louise
Member

Its always sunny here in the middle east, harldy ever see a cloud.. I am in Doha in Qatar. my hubby's job brought us here..
I am in love with your food... the basil and chilli chicken sounds beautiful. I am a keen cook might be trying that one out ..how did you prepare it ? You seem to have BED sussed I was in a right mess when I joined the forum..

Posted 5 months ago #
sophesxo14
Member

UGH guys i binged so badly last night ): i cant talk now, i just dont want to do stupid things today! AHHH

Posted 5 months ago #
Louise
Member

aaah looks like I spoke too soon.. I am so sorry you binged.. keep reading on here if you can, it is so motivating and inspiring..
we're all here for you if you want to chat with anyone..
Do you know what triggered it maybe ? Did you know you were going to do it ? Only answer if you want to hun no pressure
Lots of love xxxxxxx

Posted 5 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hey girlie,
Its okay that you binged. We are not perfect, it what you do next that matters..That means no restrictions..What do you think lead you to binge?? I agree with Louise coming here can be really inspiring and helpful..
Sending you lots of hugs!!!!
xxoxoooxo
Liz

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Yep Soph please don't let yourself feel too down. There are always small setback when you first start this recovery process...it takes time but it doesn't change the new way you have been thinking about food or the things you have learned here...so forgive yourself and get right back on track. If you can figure out what triggered it, you can use that to prevent it from triggering a binge in the future. Hang in there friend..big hugs, L

Posted 5 months ago #
Lorena
Member

Hey Sophie,

Try not to be too hard on yourself right now. You are still doing great xx

Posted 5 months ago #
El
Member

Hey Sophie - I found you - Lauren said you were the person to talk to about Whole Foods in London -
I have also read your journal - you are doing so well and I am so sorry that you had a binge - but Lauren is so so right - it is totally to be expected as a part of the recovery process - I think the key is picking yourself up - accepting this has happened and forgiving yourself and then starting tomorrow a new day.
I truly know that this isn't easy - but it does get easier - just keep going.
I found that looking back and having a think about what I was feeling/doing before it happened - has helped me so much.
Anyway - I hope you are ok and you are still doing so well.

Posted 5 months ago #
stopthemadness
Member

Hi sophiie!! it's ok that you binged. I know it feels horrible but bounce right back don't let it leave u feeling depressed and binge even more.. or the harder it will be to snap out of it. Learn from your mistakes. What caused the binge? Did you eat too little earlier on that day? Were you really anxious? I believe that beating BED comes with a lot of "trial and error" as lorena said! We are bound to slip up here and there and that is how we will learn to overcome it! I know u can do it <3<3<3 Emi

Posted 5 months ago #
sophesxo14
Member

hi guys! i dont know who remembers me but i had just started posting when i then stopped posting for a bit. my binging has been getting bad but im trying to stop. i have been restricting on purpose after and i KNOW that needs to stop! what are some things you ladies do to keep yourself from binging? i really want to beat this. today is a beautiful day to start living! no more over eating, no more under eating.

i usually need 2500 calories with track + an active lifestyle... but i dont really count anymore though too much. i have trouble with fearing 'unhealthy foods' which i am REALLY trying to work on.

breakfast: blueberry oat pancakes with yogurt butter and organic maple syrup. topped with banana slices and strawberry slices... pancakes are my favorite breakfasssst
lunch: wholewheat burrito made with tofu, black beans, cheese, salsa, + avocodo. carrots & peppers, a yeovalley natural vanilla yogurt too!
snack: banana with peanut butter
dinner: planned by mom-- wholewheat pasta with shrimp, sunflower oil, garlic, red & yellow peppers
snack: planned - ww cin. raisin toast with strawberry fruit preserves, a glass of skim milk and im thinking im gonna challenge & enjoy some hershey's milk chocolate from when i went home to ny (:

ill talk to you all soon hopefully! xo. sophie

Posted 4 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey Sophie...course we remember you! Glad you are back with us but I'm sorry you have still be struggling with the bingeing/restricting. I think the main thing is making sure you absolutely stop the restricting. Even if you do over-eat/binge, you have to just continue to eat normally because a lot of us take bloating as a sign that we need to restrict and aren't hungry and by the time our hunger hits from restricting, its almost impossible to resist turning it into a binge. So make sure that you are eating enough and I would say start slowing reintroducing those "unhealthy" foods back into your diet in a moderate amount so you can see that you can have them without it having to be during a binge and that a moderate amount is NOT going to make you gain weight, if anything having those things in your diet will help take away the temptation to binge. Your food looks really delicious girl! Keep those posts coming! ~Lauren

Posted 4 months ago #

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