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polly's journal

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Started 7 months ago by polly
Latest reply from Lauren

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polly
Member

hey all, decided to write a new journal seeing that my 3 week challange didnt seem to work haha! anyway i dont think its the best idea setting a goal like that because after the 3 weeks , what will i do .. binge DUH! doing well, am on day 4 binge free. yesterday ate a lot but no binge so woohoo! i want to lose weight so bad and that's where i think i go wrong. recovering and losing weight can't be thought of together to trully recover and although i really see this i cant seem to stop thinking about losing weight . how do you all disconnect the two from each other? i mean yesterday i did well, ate about 2500 cals and that would have usually been a reason too binge..." eaten lots already, why not binge " i would have thought but i didnt yesterday which was great . also today had a huge chineese dim sum lunch which was gorg and so nice and normal . again this would have normally beeen a reason to binge afterwards but instead just got a starbucks and a couple of chocs for later. i think i can do this , i may need your advise and support and am so willling to help others if i can . we can all do this and 2010 will be our year! bisous

Posted 7 months ago #
Louise
Member

hey hey, day 4 !!!! weldone, that is great !!! by the way, 2500 cals is not loads !!!
God luck hun.. i'll keep reading your new journal.. 4 days is seriously fab !!!!

Posted 7 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey Polly! Glad you started a new journal I can keep up with! It sounds like you are realizing that weight loss and recovery can't be done together. Don't get me wrong, when you stop bingeing, you will lose weight. But the more you focus on losing weight, the more you will allow yourself to restrict and that always leads to bingeing. Its hard to get weight loss out of your mind, especially since that has been the focus on so many of all of our lives. Just don't let yourself "act" in anyway like you are trying to lose weight-no dieting/restricting/forbidden foods, counting calories...and eventually your mind will get to the place where it doesn't obsess about losing weight all the time and you actually become more accepting of your body because you are just happy to be out of the BED cycle. So hang in there..it will get easier. ~Lauren

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

thanks lauren and louise for such lovely replies.lauren , what you said is so true.. restricting only leads to bingeing and i know this is so obvious ut some how i always seem to get back into this routine. today has gone well, a bit of a chocolate feast this evenign and not healthy but i wasnt bingeing , just a little greedy. very tired ut shall write down what i ate and then pop off to bed
breakfast
bowl of cheerios with skimmed milk
skinny cappucino

lunch
lots and lots of dim sum from amazing chineese restaurant

snack
skinny caramel macciatto

dinner
pasta with tuna , sweetcorn, fried onions and light mayo

snack
pack of malteesers
mint aero
minstrels

ooooops but yum and the funny thing is i dont even feel too guilty

hope everone had a brill day xx

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

ohhh nooo , slightly binged . it would be fine if i stopped now but the thing is i dont feeel like i can . i have eaten 2250 cals and its only 2 30 but the thing is if i stopped now i would be ok and just eat small the rest of the day but im so stuck.. i want to eat more for some weirdo reason ! please ay advise would be wicked! xx

Posted 7 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Ok Polly you can do this...just stop the bingeing and remember that you can have a normal healthy sized dinner..don't restrict for the rest of the day but get yourself back on track now. You can do this..hang strong. ~Lauren

Posted 7 months ago #
Louise
Member

How did you do ?? fill us in. if you wanted to eat more its cause you're on a sugar high.. tell us how you did xxxxxx

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

binged yesterday and overeating today. im so upset with myself im actually crying. its so ironic how i want it so badly to end but i never stop myself from bingeing whih i know is what i need to do. i do wonder as well whether my anorexia has ever trully gone. i am bmi 21 and look a little chubs and binged faced but i can never seeem to get back to eating normally and am always calorie counting and weighing myself . i know i am no way near to anorexic but i wonder whether thats whats making it hard. in a funny way maybe i binge eat because im scared of those restrictive years i put mysef through. i hate this. its so complicated. im in awe of you two,lauren and louise. do you have any other advise even if its something small that has helped you . it seems like i have tried everything but nothing works. sorry i seem so down , i really feel so fucked up but knowing me i shall bounce back up again sooo( i hope)
anyway hope everything is going well with everyone else and your njoying a nice binge free day x x
ps. i will get there i will i willl i willlllll

Posted 7 months ago #
jacquirsw1
Member

Your right you will get there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry to hear you have binged and are now overeating. the thing is you can stop, you don't have to continue to punish yourself for the binge by over eating now. Having had a binge does not make you a bad person or a failure, it makes you someone who has started a journey and along the way there may be times when you get lost or take the wrong turning but that doesn't mean that you can't turn around and get back to where you want to be going.

try going and doing soemthing now that is away from food if you can, then plan what you are going to have for your next normal meal, yes I know you will want to restrict now because of the overeating etc but that will just set you up to binge again when you do eat as you will be hungrier than you should be. So what meal is next for you and what are you going to have and what time are you going to have it. Give your brain a definitive time to focus on when it is going to eat next.

I hope that you manage to get through this

Posted 7 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey Polly..I agree with Jacq. And you have to stay positive and remember that you will get thru this. First of all, a BMI of 21 is not huge. It is on the lower side of a healthy BMI...so realize that your eating disordered eyes are seeing a body size that is exaggerated and not what the rest of the world sees. I'm sorry you have been having a tough 2 days. If you are still restricting, calorie counting, and obsessing about weight loss, that is for sure what is causing the bingeing. Somehow you have to force yourself to let go of that, and want more than anything to stop the bingeing and get your life back. Its hard to get to that place, but you will get there. Have patience with yourself because it takes us all different amounts of time to let go of all those ED weight loss thoughts. Big hugs friend. ~L

Posted 7 months ago #
Louise
Member

hey sweetie... i can only really repeat what been said..,. what has worked for me is not being on a 'diet' not counting bloody weight watchers points that i was obsessed about and eating intuitively.. What REALY worked for me was just having ENOUGH of wasting my life in this constant downward spiral, feeling depressed, hating myself..I am a lover of live, life is for living.. i cannot waste more time with this !! ... That s basically what happened for me..
I remind myself that I can eat whatever I want, WHEN my body needs... I have learnt to recognise when I am hungry and when I am feeling emotionally hungry... a BIG difference, as its the emotional stuff that leads to all binges !!
I am sorry you are in a bad place right now... you know you can lift yourself out if it.. I know you can do it !!
Lots of love xxxx

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

hey everyone, thanks so much for all your amazing kind words. i have really taken them onboard. jacqui you are so right about everything and in a way i think bingeing is a punishment , self destruction so when one has binged the day before it is easier to binge the next day as u are feeling so worthless. all u girls seem to have it so right , i dont know why its so hard for me when all i want is to recover from this and have a healthy relationship with food. i will try no restriction for a while and no counting cals which will be mega hard as i am literaly like a walking calorie book hahha! but whenever the cals come into my brain i will start singing , good plan ey? anyway yesterday was finish , overate like i said but whatever , today been alright again but am starving but will just take that as my body wants food ill give it to and when its full ill stop . its so annoying, food is here for us to survive, why do i have to be so obsessed with it ? anyway gotta go but hope you are having a good day and all your kind and mega helpful words mean so much to me xx

Posted 7 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey girl..I am glad that you are going to try to sing when you find yourself calorie counting That sounds perfect! And listening to your body when its hungry and eating until your full is just what you are suppose to do. I know we all want to get to the place where we eat to live, not live to eat. You will..just hang tight and stay strong! ~Lauren

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

ciao , okay so todays food jounal
breakfast
bowl of cereal

skinny caramel macciato

lunch
tuna and sweetcorn pasta

snack
minstrel chocolates
coffee light frappuccino

dinner
more tuna sweetcorn pasta ( mum made a load so iv been kinda of living of it)
2 smal slices garlic bread

have some swet popcorn which i shall eat later and perhaps an apple as my fruit intake is not exactly brill

thanks lauren , u really are amazing. you must have helped so many people on here and definately me!
my weight is realy bugging me and i never normally gain so much weight even when i binge, im so worried that it has something to do with the pill. i started it about 2 weeks ago and i have heard so many people say it made them gaintons of weight. this is the last thing i need especially as my metabolism is so shitty

anyway i have some seriously exciting news that im so excited about!! as an early birthday pres im going for a week to this health resort where they cook you the most amazing organic food , go on amazing walks.. completely looked after ! and im going on thursday wooooooooohoooo! i think its my birthday and christmas pres for the year but its so worth it and they have loads of nutritionists there and i will talk to them about everything and they have nutrition classes, gym EVERYTHING!
i think this really may be so benefitial in helping me with bineing, lets hope so !!! xx eeeeek so excited

Posted 7 months ago #
Louise
Member

WOW, the health resort sounds amazing !!!! You lucky lucky girl. !! Suck them dry for advise.. ha ha ha .. wow, i am jealous, you will have such an amazing time.. Hopefully it will help you to see things differently and tweak your mind and its approach to life and food I am so happy for you !!! I will really look forward to hearing all about it when you return
Tuna sweet corn pasta..Mmmmmmmmm yummy... I might have to make one at the weekend

Posted 7 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Aw thanks Polly! I love helping people on here and seeing progress..it makes me happy! If you find yourself gaining weight from the pill, you can switch to a different one because they all affect everyone differently with their side effects so try not to stress too much about it. Wow that health resort sounds amazing!! Can I come? I hope you have a very relaxing few days there! Hugs, Lauren

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

ok so im off tomorrow! really am going to use the time so well and ask all the questions that have been bugging me. im not going to hold them back and feel embarrist for saying stupid things as to be logical im never going to see them again and anyway thats what this place is there for!
Also im just still so hung up about the pill. i hate that im blaming the pill for weight gain but it really does seem to be true. i feel bloated and yuk and also my skin is still as shit as ever , maybe worse but then i dont want to come off it as i know it will help my skin in the end and it seems very freakishly abnormal to worry so much about the weight. aghhhrrr so annoying
anyway so excited for tomorrow , even tho i wake up for 4 30 , lets hope its not cancelled due to the snoww! Wow that would be seriously annoying ! so i shall defo update u while im there. u know i bet its going to be me and 50 old ladies. haha fun. i have read a lot of posts from other users and alot of you seem like me. im scared of being social . in a way im scared of people my age, i never know what to say. i missed so much school due to anorexia, its just so hard to get back into socialness as i also anylize evry single thing i do or say. im so stupid hehe , i can actually see how silly i am and how no one is really interested in what i do or look like but i think about this alll day long.
anyway better pop of to bed though i dont really see the point as im waking up in less than 5 hours hehe ! hope u all had a brilll binge free day x

Posted 7 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Have an amazing time girl...reap all the benefits you can out of the place!! And when you get back you can make an appointment with your MD and see if you can switch your pill. So no worries about that. Have fun!! ~L

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

hello all , here i am in the health resort place, having a lovely time but didnt realise how very lonely id be, oh well i guess learning to be on ones own is very benefitial . inspite of all the amazingly healthy food i still feel so bloated and havent been for a wee all day haha! why do do keep reataining water because although i know its not real weight it still freaks me out how no matter how much i eat and everthing i never ever lose weight and on a normal day i gain! WTF? anyway had lovely meals such as risottos, amazing salads, wholegrain pizza, amazing fruit salads and wheat free cakes and everything is so gorg! i have been to the gymn both days not fo long but ive loved it! went down to the town today and was so upset how i was so tempted to go and buy chocs and sweets. i didnt but it does kinda feel dissappointing when im getting such yummy food here . will this ever go? im scared. i kinda miss home too and feel so spoilt that i wanna go home .its just there is no one my age and its just a bit awkward. oh well i am using all this time well and will ask all the questions i like. ciao bellas, hope you are all well. x

Posted 7 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey Polly...so what exactly is it that you are doing there? Health resort...is it massages and stuff? I'm sorry you are feeling a bit lonely there..how long are you there for? Just try and enjoy your time for R & R and self-healing. Use it as an opportunity to relax and enjoy time to yourself. The foods sounds delicious! Hugs, Lauren

Posted 7 months ago #
Louise
Member

Hey, how come you're lonely if you're with a group of people ? ah, you'll be home too soon, please make the most of it.. times like being at a health resort a precious and few and far between.. i would KILL for a week in one..
Enjoy the gorgeous food, and stay strong, don't tuern to choc in the town for comfort if you're feeling lonley.. just come on here, or think about all the girls on here, and it should pull you through.. lots of love hun xxxxxxxx

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

hey louise, well its just the majority of the people are over 50 and none younger than 30. most of them dont speak enlish either and i dont speak any other languages. im loving it tho, feels wonderful! went to gym today and the nutritonist and i spoke to her about my very very low metabolism and she told me foods to speed it up and also about water retention. it was very useful . had chickory salad and fried aubergine, mashed potatoes amazing sauce and brussel sprouts and then this amazing seed cake and that was just for lunch hehe. so im eating nice amounts here but all brill healthy food! Hopefully this shall do me lots of good...and kick my bingeing problem.i wont lose weight as i never do but i dont actually care! i just realise how life is so precious and i need to start living it rather than wishing the days would just go by fast. i do hate how i just keep on gaining weight but i guess i need to talk to more people about that ..anyway gotta go but thanks everyone!

Posted 7 months ago #
Lauren
Member

sounds like you are having a nice time! Great you are getting advise from a nutritionist! Hope you enjoy the rest of your time there!

Posted 7 months ago #
Louise
Member

ah, that sounds heavenly...
please tell all, what foods speed up metabolism then ?
ENJOY YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xxxxxxxxx

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

hehe it is. well she told me all vegetable do , healthy oils such as flaxeed oil. olive oil.. walnut oil! um too many saturated fats make the metabolism slower and ofcourse like we all know eating regularly and exercise help spped up the metabolism!
i dont know why although im so enjoying it here , reay enjoying relaxing an eating healthy i just feel a bit depressed, im still think of food all the time and have come of the pill and so am now worried about my skin getting so much worse! just wondering had any one been on roaccotaine for the skin! i might try that but it has so many side effects and you have to have all sorts of blood tests before and it raises your cholesterol and stuff! omg i have just realised what a worrier i am. i really think i have to stop anylizing andworrying about things the whole time.. ! so dont get me wrong im loving myself but i just feel this is never going to end! am i going to binge when i go back home? im scared and im sorry if im burting it al out on here and sounding spoilt and boring its just i rarely talk to anyone about eating and such . my mum knows and my dad and my sis but i dont like going to deep into with them . i dont want to have any problem with food ever again ! i want to be happy and at the same time i dont want to gain weight which i am so prone to doing so with my metabolism and alll... ohhh i dont know im on a right rant!
on another note dinner was gorgous.. celiraic salad with avocado dressing and moroccon tagine with cous cous and mango chutney. yum yum .
just ate a tangerine too as they laden your bedrom with fruits! hehe am watching various series on my computer that im completely obsesses about hah , but must get down to some work , i realy need to ! im missing school ... did my maths exam though on wed and im not sure because i ran out of time for the biggest question but the rest of it seemed ok.
anyhooo , hope all is weel with everyone ! Xx

Posted 7 months ago #
Louise
Member

ah bless you.. I am so with you on the bad skin thing.. no matter what anyone says its all you see in the mirror isn't it .. my skin used to be terrible.. it was hormone upset by dairy !!!!!! now my skin is very scarred.. i hate it but at least the spots have slowed way down..still get the occasional one at that time of the month.
I tried roaccotaine years ago, an dio don't think it agreed with mem for the ressons you said, also, its high in eostrogen, which is why it helps your skin, but that can creat yeast problems 'down there'.. have a good think.. I am on Yasmin now.. the friendliest pill out there.. stablises your weight, its ok for mood swings, kind to skin and the other stuff.. mention it to your GP, i am sure she will prescribe it ..I am sorry you are feeling down and not enjoying yourself as much as you maybe could.. the food you are eating there sounds amazing.. god, make the most of it
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

hey alll ,yeah bad skin is the worst! often my doctors say to me that the side affects of taking the midications for it ( however bad they might be ) are much less worrying than the side effects of bad self esteem.
anyhooo todays been good, relaxing, feeling lots more cheerfull and positive ! i feel like i am gaining weight but i dont really care. i was talking to people and i just thought, my body is doing what its doing- it cant go on gaining weight forever when im eating normally one day it will have to stabalize and im just going to focus on not bingeing , not caring about my weight going up and just seeing from there. obv if i gained 5 kg in a month i would do something but obv my body is just beeing odd from all the messing around ive done with it. the more binge free and no starvation days i have the more likely my metabolism is going to start working, right? anyway the food is great here louis amaizing and so healthy but yet so yum
today
breakfast
fruit mushed up with oats and a wee bit of flaseed oil
this yummy brown bread with a spread simular to baba ghannouj
tea

lunch
tomato and coleslaw salad with avocado dressing
pumkin patties with potatoes and some sort of creamy sauce
fruity pudding with a blob of i dont what but sort of cream and marsipannie..

snack
pomagranate seeds and half a kiwi

dinner
betroot soup
vegetable soufle with potatoes, carrots and again creamy sauce

you dont get huge portions but the yare certainly not small and im very full and even think im eating too much but i guess its all healthy and yummy and im so lucky being here and so yeah ., hope you al have had a lovely day

xxx

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

heloooo
got back yesterday felt great and then today think i binged , what do u think? is it, iknow i am gooin to gain fuck loads but i just think i did well by not over doing the binge if it was one that is..
breakfast
cheerios with skimmed milk
skinny cappucino

lunch
leon grilled chicken and yogurt dressing wrap
5 mini rice crispie bites when i got home

snack
ffron yogurt with fruit

dinner
tuna, sweetcorn , peas and pasta with a little light mayo
home made very rich choc mousse

after
sweet popcorn and lots of it
3 bowls of just right cereal( a bit like muesili)
one pitta bread
and a large handfull of kit kat little ball things

oooooh im not sure.. i stopped and thats what i counts and i guess i was just being very greedy ... maybe not bingee. hope everyone is good good goood

Posted 7 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Nah..sounds like an over-eat..and you were able to stop. No problemo. Hope you had a nice time at the resort! ~Lauren

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

hey lauren , the health place i went to was incred , really gave me a boost and feel very awakened and fresh despite the overeating yesterday. thanks for those words it made me think alot of things. what is bingeing? i realise that so many people in this world, maybe even 1 out of 5 havebinge eating habbits but dont even think of it as bingeing but overeating. if i had never classified myself as a binge eater would my binge eating have become so bad? who knows i guess ut what im trying to say is that if i did binge and ate a lot but thought what the heck that was just a very piggish day the next day i wouldnt feel so bad and so would be less likely to overeat the next day.. complicated and its not really coming out right but im going to try and go with this attitude.
i also really just want to try eating with my head, whatever i like whenever i like. right now i am about 58 kg( 128 pounds) and just under 5-6. is this big? i know i could be a lot skinnier but do u think i should aim for weight loss or just cut that out of my mind and eat what i like and when im hungry and really just aim not to restrict and be normal!
im in a postive mind today and want to do this. i want to have a healthy normal releationship with food where i dont feel guilty for eating that extra piece of cake and feel like i could be binge free all my life!
today so far

bowl of branflakes and cheerios mixed with skim milk
skinny cappuccino

shall update later.
thanks for those who do reply to my journal howver boring it may be hehe
xx

Posted 7 months ago #
Louise
Member

Hey Polly.. I guess binge eating is a state of mind.. if it gets you down, and you go into self loathe mode after a session, then i guess its an emotional disorder... many people do suffer...thank god we dont turn to alcohol or drugs, much more addictive and dangerous.. although i am not down talking an ED.. i know how disturbing it is !
You talk about what you weight and stuf a lot, so maybe try an new apporach.. don't worry about what weight you should be... forget the scales... its how you feel in yourself.. try to foucs wholly on yourself.. you emotions, accept how you fel on that day, deal with it, ride it out, don't try to eat them away, and eat intuitively, practise feeling the difference between emotional hunger and real physical hunger.. when you feel Hungry, eat whatever you fancy, don't deny yourself of anything and stop when you're full, and more importantly remind yourself that you can what ever you want, when you are hungry ! Believe me it works !!! This approach is working for so many of us on here.. stop standing on the scales.. this is not about that.. you can't beat BED and weigh yourself and count caloris... it won't work.. maybe for a day or a week, or two, but you will probably have a slip up.. please try 'intuitive'...
Good luck.. you know where to come to rant about stuff...rant on here instead of eating ! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I'll be reading

Posted 7 months ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hi Polly !!

One day I would love to go to one of these health/spa retreats with amazing food prepared and great workouts and just time to myself to relax...

For me bingeing is not about the amount of food or the type of food but its about the mindest in which I eat, its about that feeling that takes over and that just makes me do it, its about the guilt. Even eating emotionally is not always bingeing but when I binge I definitely KNOW it....ahhh..just thinking about it I hate it !

Yeah I agree with Louise....f*** the scale ! 128 for 5'6 is definitely slim anyway so its your mind playing tricks on you . I am 5'6 too so I know

you have nothing to worry about so ditch that damn scale! take care xox

Posted 7 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey Pplly...that place sounds really cool..glad you came back feeling great!

Yeah I would say a large amount of people have disordered eating, but its different when you have an actual eating disorder because the amount of self-hatred and distress that an eating disorder causes is different then just the average eaters Thanksgiving Day Binge or what not. You know I think for a LONG time I had disordered eating in my teens and it was ok...when I was with my ex-bf for 5 years before my eating disorder actually started I would have occasional binges, like at a restaurant I always had to finish my whole meal, even if it was huge, or if I had a bad day I would come home and eat 2 big bowls of cereal and then I would be good during the week or for a few weeks and it was all good. I just looked at it as normal and it really didn't cause me any distress. It was when I started trying to have the perfect body, dieting, and then would binge I would hate myself and set all these food rules and exercise rules, then would go right back into the bingeing cycle....and I never experienced the depression, self-hatred, anxiety, social isolation, suicidal tendencies when I was occasionally bingeing like a normal person does, like I did once I developed full fledge BED. So I think there is a difference....

Girl you are at the perfect weight for 5'6. Seriously! A super healthy good weight.

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

BINGED , BINGED AND MORE BINGEING , all week pratically. look like a bloody bursting balloon , feel like one too and weigh the most i have ever weighed. things cant get much worse binge wise but tomorrow is a new day. ill wake up thinking i am me , i have no disorder , i can eat what i want and i can be happy and inspired by other things than food, weight and calories which are all pretty boring so HELL YA im going to do this.
x

Posted 7 months ago #
jacquirsw1
Member

Hi Polly.

Try checking out the book Overcoming Binge Eating - by dr Christopher Fairburn

It is totally amazing and if it does nothing else it should help you have a better understanding and acceptance of yourself and the disorder. It also has a brilliant CBT based therapy section at the back that gives a very structured way of working through this.

I do like you recognising that tomorrow is a new day. Sometimes we do have to get to the end of the road before we can find the space to turn around and make our way back.

Good luck with tomorrow

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

hey all, so done 3 days without bingeing and eating pretty much what i like and jaquic hey and that book sounds good, shall defo look into it. yeah ive been thining about bingeing adn that at the moment it seems hard to stop and so maybe just having a etter understanding of it may help me not just to overcome it but not feel so down when i do binge.
today
breakfast
bowl of cheerios, skimmed milk
skinny cappuccino

lunch
pizza and salad

snack
skinny caramel macciatto
3 squares of toberelone

dinner
roast beef, jacket potato, yorkshire pudding and broccoli
organic toffee yogurt

snack
minstrel chocolates and malteesers hot choc

so not healthy but eating what i like
who cares
maybe tomorrow not so much chocs but im literally a chocoholic. help.
hehe
anyway guys hope you all had a good day
just getting into bed and watching heroes , my new fave series ! i have done work today too so im not a complete lazyy thing! also getting really into walking and so walk most places i need to go which should help me get me a little fitter
xx

Posted 7 months ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Glad you are back on track with eating the foods you like and not beating yourself up ! I am a chocoholic too seriously that is the best taste on earth I dont know how can some people say they DONT LIKE chocolate that is like sacrilege for me haha You are doing a great job at allowing yourself to have it and not bingeing on it ! I love walking to and walk as much as I can ! Keep it up !

Posted 7 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey Polly! Glad to hear you have had a great last few days! I'm a chocoholic too! Thats why I let myself have a few pieces of dark chocolate a day...seems to help me control those cravings. Enjoy Heroes! Hugs, L

Posted 7 months ago #
Louise
Member

Hey, keep up with the walking...and enjoy it !!! i am jealous !!! They say a brisk walk is as good as anything for releasing those endorphines and is effective exercise if done frequently enough, so good on ya for that !!! The more walking you do the more chocolate you can enjoy, in moderation of course

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

hey everyone.. had five binge free days all though yesterday ate far too much cereal and chocs in the evening. wish i liked dark chocolate but i dont. i wish i wass also not so obsessed with food and counting cals all day long. i want to stop but everytime in the past when i have i feel so out of control that i binge. anyone have any ideas? anyone have any other food ideas for me so i can stop eating so much chocolate. i think i like it becuase it takes long to eat too, any other foods that are good for you that take ages to eat?... im so obsessed its horrible , i feel really ashamed. i do know one day this will go , i beat anorexia so im sure i can beat binge eating too and overeating i can live with , its bingeing that makes me feel so crap and pointless and almost suicidal which is so silly as its just food! but its so annoyingly true...
xx

Posted 7 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey Polly..Hmm so you don't like dark chocolate. What about like chocolate covered nuts where you just have a serving? I know Joyce really likes eating sunflower seeds because it keeps her mouth occupied and takes a while to eat. I think you should no calorie counting a go...obsessing about counting calories every day is not fun at all..you may over eat the first week or two but in the end you will see that you can eat moderate amounts and listen to your body and then you won't have to do stupid calorie counting anymore! Maybe try it out again...

Posted 7 months ago #
Louise
Member

Well done you for 5 binge free days !!! That is a great achievement !! As for chocolate, i don't know what to suggest.. maybe just have one thing a day.. and if its for something to do, maybe take yourself from access to food and occupy yourself, like another walk, or read, or have a hot choc drink... ?? sorry, hope that helps somewhat..

Posted 7 months ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hey Polly ! Great job on 5 days binge free. I definitely prefer milk chocolate but its very easy to eat alot of it compared to dark. You can maybe have some tea with your sweet so it takes longer to eat while you take sips and you feel fuller. I like oatmeal and find it super filling ( but I make it plain and add my on mix ins, so much better than the gooey instant packets and makes a TON of volume so it takes me veeeeeerrry long to eat). Dont be ashamed and keep it up I feel obssessed too but the more you are busy with other stuff the less obssessed you become.

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

hey alll so managed 8 free binge days but still feel weak and am at home today and am scared. i have overeaten on half these days too which i guess is ok and hasnt left me feeling miserable but hey ho ill really try today.
yesterdays foood looked like
breakfast
skinny cappuccino
( didnt really have time to eat as had to rush out )
lunch
tuna, rice and tomatoes and peppers
chocolate

snack
frozen fat free yogurt with raspberries on top

dinner
went out to pizza express and had a vitabella without cheese( i dont like cheese) they are pizas with a whole in side which has salad in it so yum yum and only 500 cals

afterwards went a bit silly
120g chocolate
2 lowfat lemon poppy seed muffins
one 40 cal hot choc

so defo an overeat but i guess stupidly i had no breakfast and so felt like i needed it

i dont know what to do today im scared and im suppose to be seeing people in the eveening and that worries me more. .. oh pooo i really dont want to binge
xx

Posted 7 months ago #
excrisis
Member

8 days binge free is great! And you are right, you probably had a little over-eating from skipping breakfast. No worries, you are doing great!

Posted 7 months ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hey Polly ! Congrats on 8 binge free days, it doesnt matter if you overate. Our bodies went through so much that its normal that at the beginning its going to take alot of trial and error to adjust and eating normally again. You cant expect it to happen overnight ! You seem to be doing great I assure you ! And those vitabella things sound delicious...the best of both worlds, salad AND pizza

Posted 7 months ago #
Lauren
Member

8 days binge free is awesome Polly! Its ok that you over ate...the no binges is what matters. Go out with your friends tonight and have a good time. You deserve that! And that pizza sounds really cool! Mmm. Have a nice day! ~L

Posted 7 months ago #
polly
Member

ahh poo. not that i have binged but ive overeaten on muffins big time. ate 1100 cals worth of cinnamon muffins..gross. im now worried to go out as i feel and probs look HUGE! im such an idiot. oh well i have eaten 2200 cals and will have a few drinks.. is that ok? oh why am i such a unhealthy slob , who eats crap and looks like crap. im feling very depressed, i shall probs cheer up in a bit knowing my wacky mood hanges but its just so horrible that i care so much! hope everyone else is doing good
x

Posted 7 months ago #
Sez
Member

I bet you don't look like crap, 2200 cals is completely normal!
Hope you cheer up soon! =)
xxx Sarah

Posted 7 months ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hey Polly ! dont worry about it it happened to me quite alot. Its pretty easy to eat 1100 cals of something sweet....I get mood swings too...just remember that you are a great person no matter what you eat. I am sure you are being too hard on yourself and that you look great ! Take care girl xox

Posted 7 months ago #

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