Pat A – My story…

[ptmintParticipant]

I have a long history of food addiction, and a descent history of recovery. I joined a 12-step group 10 1/2 years ago and released 140 lbs. I did really well for a long time, then I was diagnosed with cancer about 18 months ago and I have been struggling with my eating since.

What upsets me is I know what is going on. I recognize that I am eating to deal with my emotions. I have the tools I used for all those years, but for some reason I’m not using them. I’ve been through surgery, chemo, and radiation and am currently cancer free, but I am still binging. I want the peace and serenity that I had all those years when I wasn’t binging.

Here are a few of the tools I have used in the past and I commit to using today:

Tool one: Take it one day (sometimes one minute) at a time. Look only at the now.

Tool two: Admit I (me alone) have no control over food. Doesn’t that sound funny? It is true though. When I stop having a power struggle with the food, the power struggle ends. It’s like playing tug-of-war and deciding to quit the game by putting down my end of the rope. This doesn’t give me a pass to eat anything and every thing I want, rather it gives me a pass to create a food plan and live my plan. Today I am letting go of the power struggle with food.

Tool three: There is One that has all control. I seek that One daily!

Tool four: There is strength in numbers. When I see someone else (hopefully lots of others) who are successful, I gain confidence and strength.

Tool five: Weigh myself only once a month. The scale really sets me off if I see a number I’m not happy with.

Tool six: Have a food plan. Before I eat anything I have a plan for the day. Sometimes things happen and I’m not able to be true to my plan, but that doesn’t give permission to binge. It just means I have to adjust my plan a little.

As I typed these out I literally felt the weight of despair lift from my shoulders… especially tool two. It seems so strange to say I am powerless over food as I cognitively know the food doesn’t walk into my hands or my mouth, but food is very, very powerful. It has been my drug of choice since I was a child and I am now 52. I tend to do very well all day when I am at work and then the evening comes and I struggle. Tonight when I get home I am going to come back to this site and report on my progress

Today I weigh 181 lbs and I’m a 5′ 3″ female. 10 1/2 years ago I weighed 275 lbs. My goal is 140 lbs.

I hope everyone is having a great day. Life is good!!

[ptmintParticipant]

I watched “Addicted to Food” on OWN last night. I can so relate to the people on the program. I have a meal plan every day, but I have been struggling with sticking to my plan in the evenings. From the program on TV I am asking myself what am I feeling when I’m home in the evening that I don’t want to feel? I don’t have the answer yet, but tonight I plan to go home and go to my office and think, feel, and write rather than eat.

My Food Plan for today:

Breakfast:

1/4 c oatbran

2 T flax meal

1 c soy milk

2 T chia seeds

1 scoop protein powder

1 apple

Lunch:

2 black bean burger patties

8 oz green beans

8 oz mixed raw tomato and bell pepper

Dinner:

4 oz hot dogs (no bread)

2 c broccoli

1 oz flax meal

[LaurenParticipant]

Hey just wanted to welcome you here! First, congrats on being cancer free! You fought through that so I have no doubt you have the strength to journey through BED recovery. Glad you are here! ~Lauren

[ptmintParticipant]

Today while I was at work I thought about why I have been binge eating when I get home in the evening. I have a calm home life, loving husband, live in the country with a beautiful view, we are empty nesters so there are no kids at home to increase stress. But, I have a stressful job. Today I was quite stressed at work with the demands of my job and even though I didn’t want to eat about it while I was at work, as I drove home the thoughts of what I could eat came to me over and over. I so wanted to drug myself with food when I got home. I am thankful that today I am aware of what is happening and I have not binged. It’s only 5:00 PM, so there is still room for a binge, but I go to bed at 7:00 (I get up at about 3:30 AM), so maybe I’ll make it today.

[joebdrummingParticipant]

sometimes its not the external things but the internal things.. Always blaming yourself, even just your thinking of everythings good in my life so why should I even have a problem.. sounds like self depreciating comments, ya know. People can use anything for an excuse to binge, its a response to our inner emotions about our personal self worth, ya know? and how we feel about our self esteem.

[Author]

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