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Pampita’s Journal and weight loss
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October 11, 2009 at 1:06 pm #1063
After a week of non stop binges (5 binges in 7 days) I am ready to stop.I looked myself in the mirror and told that this is it, I’m ready to stop.Why am reday you may ask? Because today in the middle on my binge I lost the urge to binge.I felt so sick.Instead of continueing eating(more like swallowing) me peanut butter from the jar I stopped, screwed the lid back on and put it back in the cabinet.
This BED has been keeping me from enjoying life, making friedns, dating,etc.I avoid almost all social situation because of my BED or actually from the consequences of it.I want to shed these punds that have piled up on top of me. I’m not suposed to be this way, this is not me!!!I want to eat to live not live to eat.I want to stop being preocupied with what’s in the pantry or refrigerator and instead focus on achieving my dreams.
I decided to create a meal plan for a week at the time which included breakfast,lunch,snack and dinner. I will make sure to have a bit more of a bigger lunch since usually after lunch I end up snacking on junk.I want to enjoy normal healthy but satisfying meals instead of eating salads and then later gorging myself on complete junk foods.(tomorrow i’ll make thai style veggie and tofu stir fry with peanuts)I will also try to get some form of exercise each day like running or walking or climbing stairs.It not a punishment but time for me to “vent” and get all of my emotions out.I will deal with my problems instead of trying to escape them with a food blackout. (aka binge) I will also promise to post on here foods that I eat everyday.(with no hiding)
Well, I feel much better already getting all of my thoughts and frustuations on the computer instead of bottling them up inside me.
PampitaOctober 11, 2009 at 1:13 pm #18787
Wow Pampita, that’s a really big step you just took there, congratulations!
We’re all in this together, so if you need some help, advice or just some one to talk to, we’re here for you.
the meal planning and writting it down here, and the exercise are great ideas
*** Lottie ***October 11, 2009 at 1:42 pm #18788
You can do this Pampita, best of luck to ya!October 11, 2009 at 7:24 pm #18789
Glad you’ve started a journal to keep track of your food and feelings! Writing it down and getting support on here is really so helpful during the recovery process. You can do this…we’re all cheering you on!October 11, 2009 at 9:41 pm #18790
wooo go go pampita! i think u have put quite alot of changes on urself there to make all at once but you can do it! good luck!October 12, 2009 at 12:20 pm #18791
thank you guys for your support! it really means A LOT to me. SO today was a binge free day,yay!!!! However, I had a prety awkward/nerve wreking experience.I was watching Dr.Oz show with my mom and to my surprise and horror a women with BED was on his show and shared her story.I was so terriefed that my mom would recognize some of the behavious of hers in me such as eating healthy/diets foods in front of others but still gaining weight, food disspearig from the pantry,etc. Thank goodness my mom did not pay much attention to it.I was kinda mad when the woman said that she was really hurt that her son called her fat and MY mom said “Oh, good thing that buy did that, somebody needed to tell her she’s fat so she would stop eating.” I got very upset but tired not to show it to my mom.I just told her that it was probably not easy just to stop eating since it was an eating disorder and we just left it at that. This experience just showed me that I cannot share my pain and struggles with my mom since she really dislikes fat people or people who have issues overeaitng.After my mom left the room, this binge eating specialist tlaked about the importnace of having 3 regular meals,and 2 snack each day.she also said that it is a good idea to keep a journal and write down the foods you eat and how you fell,etc. She had some really good tips.
Ok now it’s tome for my food log:
breakfast: bowl of cereal
lunch: peanut-broccoli stir fry with tofu over brown rice ( it took me almost 2 hours to prepare but it was worth it)
dessert: kashi strawbery jam granola bar
snack: honey dew cubes
snack # 2:apple
dinner: protein shake, 1.5 c creamy french vanilla yogurt.
I also went for a short run (about 4 Km).It was relaly hard since I didnt run for a while and my lungs really hurt so I applaud some of you guys here who can run 6 miles or more.Overall, it was a good productinve day.I didnt relaly have any urges to binge except for tonight when I had some yogurt but Im glad I was able to stop at that.And today when I was alone at home, I had an apple and stayed away from the fridge and pantry.October 12, 2009 at 12:34 pm #18792
heya, congratulations on your good day!
im pretty impressed with those cooking skills btw!
i hope you are feeling good about it and the days to come. I would have liked to see that program. There always seems to be stuff on the tv about annorexia but never about BED. i know my parents would find it hard to understand too so im not going to tell them, which is basicly why im here instead! its good to get support from people who understand. My dad has tha same attitude to fat people. Hes always like to them your fat just eat less and exercise more! i tried to explain to him that it is an addiction and a life style and its really difficult to reverse those issues but he didnt buy it i guess some people just arent going to understand.
xOctober 12, 2009 at 1:56 pm #18793
I told my mom… She’s actually the one who started the idea that there might be something ‘wrong’ with me
but I don’t think she expected this
we barely talk about it and when we do she looks at me as if I’m some kind of alien
and once she did say to be just don’t buy any food then. If you don’t have snacks at home, you can’t eat them
this hurt me really bad
I’m reading this book (overcomming binge eating)
I think I’m gonna pass it on to her, maybe it’ll help her understand
and if she still doesnt
then at least I tried
the book is really good, and scary how it discribes so accurately how I feel sometimes…
My boyfriend knows too, and he’s SO supportive
If I ever talk about dumping him, smack me on the head really hard please
my best friend however doesn’t know
I usually tell her everything and it hurts to keep a secret from her
but she has a lot of problems that are way more serious than mine, plus we love talking about food and eating together, and I don’t want to make it all awkward…
there I go talking and talking and talking again
once I start it’s like I can’t stop
great, now I have binge talking disorder too
xxxOctober 12, 2009 at 10:39 pm #18794
haha lottie between us we have binge talking, binge resting ,binge dancing lol.
Im glad your boy friend is so supportive!mines knows aswell and is the only person that understands what im going through.i couldnt tell any of my friends, they wouldnt understand. i think i might get myself a little book on the subject too and see if that helps me along a bit.
xxOctober 13, 2009 at 11:22 am #18795
hello guys..today was a rainy,lazy day and I spent most of it in the house(I did go for a 5 km walk though)So i snacked throuht the day which is ok, since it was mostly healthy stuff.Usually if I go over 1800 calories i tend to inge but today was an exception which is great.I did some pilated at home too and now my legs and bum are really sore.Here’s what I ate:
lunch:stir fry leftovers,small green salad,small piece of toast (buttered)
snack # 2: 1c of low fat vanilla yogurt
snack # 3 kashi bar
dinner:protein drink, big fruit salad with aobut 1 c of yogurt.
Tomorrow looks like a very busy day for me but I will try to find some time to exercise and snack healthy.October 13, 2009 at 1:02 pm #18796
hey pampita, well done on having another good day!
id say aswell that u did quite alot of exercise today too cos 5km is quite far even if it is just a walk and not a run. what are u upto on ur busy day tomo?
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