Hi - this feels odd, but after reading how much writing has helped all of you, I thought I should at least try. I've had eating disorders the greater part of my life, and in the past 4 years, have binge ate and it is only getting worse. It has gotten to the point that my running (once a huge part of my life) and sleep are greatly affected. I am trying to learn to accept and not diet and all that, but it still isn't working, mostly because stress in my life has reached the max. I need to learn how to handle the stress, I think,in order to help control the binges. Any advice on that front is always greatly accepted and appreciated. Anyway, I'm grateful for the advice this forum has and the newsletter tidbits give. I am finally ready to put myself out on the 'cyber net' and admit a disorder I have been so ashamed of and not able to tell anyone about for so long. I hope I can learn to effectively move past it in order to live a better life. thank you.
Binge Eating Forum » Binge Eating Support - General Comments, Questions, and Posts
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toostressed
MemberPosted 1 year ago # -
V
MemberHey toostressed! I can relate a lot to the desire to cope with stress through food. The only thing is, it causes more stress in the long run. It takes away energy and motivation, which only add more work and problems that lead to more stress. BUT it's so temporarily gratifying that it's hard to stop, may be even impossible sometimes. So, I know how you feel. There's a lot of tips on this forum that can help you and you should see what works well for you. The thing that's worked well for me (among other things) is writing here. This is a great place to share your feelings and vent. I've noticed this has a very therapeutic effect on me and helps me reduce my stress and even identify what I am stressing out about. So, I'm glad you're here and writing. I also didn't want to/like writing, but now I love it and it's helped me tremendously. Good luck and welcome!
-V
Posted 1 year ago # -
jacquirsw1
MemberWelcome to the group.
As you will have already worked out this is very much a self help forum but with wonderful support form everyone else.
I think one of the most important thing is it stops the disorder isolating us and gives us a place where we can acknowledge it and get support.I hope that you find it positive
Jacqui
Posted 1 year ago # -
ivierose
MemberHey hun,
Welcome to the forum! I'm glad you came to check it out and posted on here. I find that writing is such a great help in figuring yourself out. Like Jacqui said this can be an isolating disorder, but coming on here and reading others posts can be so motivating and helpful! I hope you can get the best out of it
Good luck
Niamh
Posted 1 year ago # -
toostressed
MemberThanks everyone! So today, after a bad night last night, things were ok but not much better. I had a good run, which hasn't happened in a while because of excessive eating and tiredeness. But I'm trying really hard not to "diet" and I find I'm just eating everything. I try to think "well am I REALLY hungry?" and find I am but then make bad choices - too many carbs/chocolate. I'm scared about 'not dieting' cause i am already gaining weight after 2 weeks of this - how do you not just totally get out of control this way? you need some boundaries don't you? not everything is equal - there is no way my body 'needs' ice cream and that's why i crave it. I crave it cause it's good and 'comforting.' But to say ice cream is bad is 'dieting' (per all these books i've read in the past year or so). but it IS bad - it has no nutritional value at all! I'm confused - i want to decrease as much stress as possible because I know it is my binging trigger, so not dieting would definetly help, but I also don't want to eat poorly cause my running and daily life are effected. How do you balance all of this?
Posted 1 year ago # -
V
MemberHey toostressed,
You are absolutely right! It's important not to "diet" because the restriction that comes with dieting can trigger a "binge." BUT, you also can't eat whatever you want whenever you want it and not expect to gain weight. I think the distinction is very subtle and hard to delineate. What helps me is to think about what a "diet" really is.
Diets to me are all about rules. They are all about limits and restrictions and they end up making you think about food even more than if you weren't on a diet. They are often extreme and encourage "all or nothing" mentalities like: you can't eat any ice cream or chocolate for the next year. Those extremes are hard to stick to and when you give in just a tiny bit, then that "all or nothing" mentality kicks in and you start getting down on yourself for eating a little chocolate because it was "against the rules" of the diet. Then you start feeling guilty, disappointed in yourself, sad, depressed, anxious, mad and all kinds of negative emotions. Those negative emotions can lead to binges because you feel defeated and food temporarily elevates your mood so you eat to feel better. Then at the end you feel full, bloated, fat, etc. which only serves to reinforce unhealthy obsessions with weight and appearance. So, that's why the "all or nothing" mentality of diets can sabotage our best efforts.
BUT that doesn't mean you should just eat unhealthy foods all the time either. It's hard to find the balance between "eating healthy" and "dieting." I have come to think of eating healthy as eating the foods that keep you going, fill you up, taste good, and are satisfying. I try to limit my intake of "comfort" foods, such as those high in sugar, because they contain empty calories that don't fill you up and make you feel hungry again soon after, which only leads you to eat more of them and gain lots of weight. Also, sugary foods only temporarily elevate your mood and energy level, then you "crash" not too long after and feel worse. You're body actually misses the "high" it gets from the sugar and you want more right away, which is why they are so tempting and hard to resist. However, if you completely restrict yourself from these beloved foods, you are most likely going to set yourself up for failure.
That's why controlled moderation works the best. Allowing yourself some ice cream and chocolate here and there, along with substantial foods like whole grains, fiber and proteins that fill you up, in order to prevent a much more disastrous binge later is a good way to think about it. This helps in a couple ways. First, when you "allow" yourself to eat a piece of chocolate you don't get mad at yourself or depressed, because it's part of the plan. Second, it may help to prevent a binge later because you already had your chocolate fix. It prevents that all or nothing attitude.
Also, I think in order to really overcome this eating disorder it's important to care about yourself and take care of yourself. Eating foods that are healthy actually make you feel good, as does a moderate amount of exercise, which creates endorphins that make you feel happier. It's okay to eat unhealthy foods here and there though also. But I wouldn't advise making them staple foods, but rather supplementary and occasional indulgences.
Sorry to ramble on and on. I'm not sure if this is at all helpful to you. It's just the way I think of it. Portion control attempts by Helen may be a helpful thread to read on this forum for more on this. Good luck and sorry if I may have confused you more.
-V
Posted 1 year ago # -
fashiongirl6
MemberGood advice V. I've struggled a lot with dieting, whether it's being on one or totally off one. I know what you mean about finding a balance and how hard it is for us to just find some middle ground between a diet and our binges. I actually took the old school approach and looked at the good old food pyramid for how much I should be eating and how much of each food group. If you make goals for yourself like eating 5 fruits and veggies a day then that doesn't leave much room for the bad stuff, and your mind is focussing on something else other than binging. I actually grew up loving fruits and veggies so I eat them all the time. Imagine if you ate the correct amount of servings for each group, you probably would feel more satisfied and less likely to want to binge. When I eat healthy foods it makes me feel good about myself. There are times where I do have a craving for something chocolate. If that happens try going to a bakery and get just one thing and enjoy it go out for ice cream with a friend. The food that we label bad for ourselves can definitely fit into a normal eating schedule and you shouldn't feel guilty from eating these foods, as along as we don't binge. For me I can't have that food in the house so I don't buy it unless I'm craving it. If I crave something I go and buy a single serving of it between 200-300 calories and try to savor it as best I can. Different things work for different people so this may be a good starting point for you. Try not to beat yourself up over the kinds of food you eat. Try to listen to your body and what it needs first, then you can have a little room to eat the things you want. Hope this helps and good luck!
Posted 1 year ago # -
toostressed
MemberThanks guys. You have some really great suggestions and I'm excited to try them. Last night was bad, but I know i'm going to have some bad times before all the good ones, so I'm just trying not to be too hard on myself and understand that this whole situation sucks and I need to make the best of it, learn from it, grow form it, and live a happier life. I'll post more later - I have a grant due by the end of the day! Oh stress . . .
Posted 1 year ago #
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