Need to free myself!! – Vesna's journal

[VesnaParticipant]

It has been a good week so far, no urges to binge and eating well, balanced and healthy meals. The only thing I’m noticing is that this time I think I kept some weight from the last month I binged so much, and I don’t like it! It makes me focus on losing weight and I don’t want to get obsessed about it. I know I’ve only been binge free for five days, it’ll take longer than that to lose the two kilos I have left, but I promise I won’t eat too little or I will make it easier for my animal brain to send messages to binge. I have been pretty busy this week and haven’t finished reading the book, I hope I get some reading done today and tomorrow. Weekends – especially sundays – have always been difficult for me, and this time I have plans for both days so that should give me some structure and not feel like i’m floating around and do the same thing I do every sunday: binge! Not this time!

[charlieParticipant]

Vesna! You’re back!!

Sounds like you have a good approach to beating the binge. Sorry to hear that you have struggled recently but you are sounding positive again which is fab

I have not read brain over binge but it seems popular with lots of people on here! Don’t worry too much about the weight – it will come off gradually and permanently through eating well-balanced, healthy meals.

I am certain you can make Sunday binge free

C xx

[VesnaParticipant]

Charlie!! I thought I had lost you!! I’m so glad to hear from you, how are you doing?

I was just re-reading all the great advice you gave me when I joined the forum a few months ago, it really helped me get back on track. So thank you again!

So far my weekend is going great, and I know you are right about the weight… I just need to be patient and concentrate on eating normal and not bingeing…

I’m so glad you are here, thanks for posting Charlie, I really missed you!!

Hugs,

Vesna

[lexiloo52Participant]

Vesna, you’re doing awesome! I love your attitude towards this It takes so much patience because when you stop bingeing, you have to re-learn what normal eating is. Keep it up!

[VesnaParticipant]

Thank you Lexiloo, that’s so true! Having this disorder for so many years left me having no clue of how to eat like a normal person… I’m learning though, and I’m proud to say that even if the bingeing hasn’t stopped completely these last few years I’ve learned so much and it’s getting so much better, I even think I know now what normal portions should look like and how much I should it and of course stopped restricting, I find “everything in moderation” is the key.

Thanks for being here,

Hugs

Vesna

[VesnaParticipant]

So yesterday went really well, it was my dad’s birthday and I ate what I really wanted, in moderation. I love that, felt sooo normal! That was at lunch time, so the rest of the day I wasn’t hungry at all until later at night. I felt like some warm chicken/veggie soup, and that’s what I had and felt totally satisfied. Then a glass of wine – I have to watch that too, sometimes I drink too much on weekends and that leads me to mindless eating, then the next morning I feel awful! So great saturday, now it’s sunday morning here so we’ll see how it goes… My mind is clear and I’m feeling focused, not like other sundays when at this time of the day I’m already fighting with urges to binge! Today is pretty planned (family lunch with my husband’s family) so that’s great, I find when we have nothing to do on sundays I just eat and eat kind of like wanting the day to be over to start again a “healthy eating plan” on monday… I’ve been stuck in that this las whole month and I’m over it!! never again! How silly is that? Eating the day up so I can start over on monday, feeling like crap? feels crazy even writing it down!

I have a trip coming up on october and then two weddings in november and december, and spring and summer are coming so that really motivates me to stay on track and not binge so I can lose those extra 2 or 3 kilos I gained this last month. I’m already feeling leaner, and I know what clothes to wear to look slimmer so that helps, and I also went to the salon on thursday and got my hair done ( I would never do this when not feeling great about my body, I would always wait until I lost whatever I thought I needed to lose to go to the salon! crazy! ) so that made me feel great, it’s bad enough to not feel so good about my body to be walking around with out of shape hair too! haha

Wish you all a wonderful binge free sunday!

[monicaaaParticipant]

You give me hope! I’m new to this forum, and I’ve been a binger for about 4 months. I’m really hoping it doesn’t become years. I’m still really young. I’m 19. I want to feel normal and free and happy. I’ve gained 26 pounds in 4 months. This is the heaviest I’ve ever been and it kills me inside. I’m not an emotional eater. I think a lot of it has to do with how restrictive I get throughout the week so I let lose on the weekends. But reading your stories and experiences makes me feel like I can overcome this!

[VesnaParticipant]

Hi Monica,

Welcome to the forum, there’s amazing people here willing to listen and give great advice. I think it’s great you are here when you’ve only binge eating for four months, I’ve done this my entire life! So it will probably be easier for you to overcome it, I really hope so!

I relate so much to what you say about restricting during the week and then letting loose on the weekends, tell me about it, that’s the story of my life!! So now I’m focusing on eating more during the week and getting out of that all or nothing mentality, so I can eat like a normal person does and not feel like I need to eat everything in sight before sunday ends because I have to diet on monday again… Everything in moderation is my goal, and I know the weight will drop little by little.

I’m very proud to say that I had a wonderful, binge free sunday!! It feels so good! No waking up feeling like an elephant tomorrow and wanting to hide from everybody!! That sounds awful I know, but that’s just how I feel every single monday after a bingey sunday… I know having some structure, plans for the day really help and lately I had been very lazy and wasn’t doing anything on sundays so guess what… I binged! This is a big one in my to do list, plan fun things to do on sundays, it’s a must!! so so helpful… and so simple!! I’m so glad I will start a new binge free week tomorrow, feeling good about myself!!

Good night everyone

[monicaaaParticipant]

We think very much a like!!! I hope to overcome this right away because I feel disgusting. I just want ti stop thinking about food 24/7 and stop craving Soo much. And also learn to eat 1 cookie instead of a dozen

[charlieParticipant]

Hi Vesna

That’s wonderful news. You must be feeling very proud of not binging on Sunday. Seems like you don’t need much advice. I think your approach is perfect

C xx

[VesnaParticipant]

Hi Monica, how are you doing? Better I hope. I know what you mean about thinking about food 24/7, it kind of takes over our lives, doesn’t make any sense! I really think it’s te result of so much dieting for so long, at least for me… Once I started eating more regular and normal, balanced meals, the obsessive thoughts went away. Food is not the enemy, dieting is!!

Charlie, Yes I’m so proud! oooh it was so nice to wake up today feeling ready for a new day, instead of picking my self up feeling horrible.

Thanks for your kind words, I’m very focused right now but I don’t want to get too confident because I have felt like this before, it’s been easy so far because I haven’t had any urges to binge but I know they can come back anytime and I really hope I’m ready to deal with them! Still reading Brain over Binge, I think I’ll read it over and over again! I need to re-train my brain to just observe those urges and not get emotional about them. Hope it goes well when they come, need to be prepared!

Hugs, Vesna

[VesnaParticipant]

Today is my eight binge free day, I’m so happy! Everything’s going smoothly, no urges yet and not letting myself get too hungry. The only thing I haven’t been doing so much during the week is eating treats… well, on the weekend I had plenty! but moderately, just enough, just what I needed and really enjoyed them. I’m happy to see the weight coming off – slowly – it’s amazing how much weight we can put on in only a few weeks of bingeing… about 3 or 4 kilos, that’s insane! I still need to lose those last two, but I know I’m doing the right thing so I just have to be patient, keep eating well and exercising.

I really hope I can keep going like this, I’m really tired of having this disorder and I want to get rid of it for good!! I know I can do it this time, I just know it.

[StarfighterParticipant]

Great job Vesna- keep it up! I know what you mean about how much weight we can put on. I’m still recovering from those last couple weeks before my 2nd journal. However as fast as we can put on weight, the one thing to do is not restrict and try to lose it quickly. Moderation is key- and taking weight off slowly and healthily is better than taking it off quickly and detrimentally. Hope day 9 is going well for you!

[VesnaParticipant]

You are so right Starfighter, I’ve learned that the hard way… After years I finally get it! Restricting like crazy to lose the binge weight quickly keeps the cycle going so it gets never ending… I agree that moderation is key, I’m really working on that.

Thanks for posting and have a great day!

[VesnaParticipant]

Yesterday went well, last night I had a meeting with friends and there were lots of yummy food, but I ate what I wanted – in moderation – until I felt I didn’t need to eat anymore and I felt fine, just like everybody else.

The weight is coming off slooowly but at least it’s going in the right direction! If I’ve learnt something it’s that I shouldn’t try to speed up the weight loss by eating less, that would only get me into trouble later with ugly urges!!

So everything’s good, spring is coming and I love it!!

Have a great day everywone!

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