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Nat's Journal

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Started 2 months ago by Nat
Latest reply from stopthemadness

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Joyce
Member

Nat, I'm not an expert at this sort of thing, but your Mom & Dad have a lot of years invested in this marriage and it would be a shame to see it go to pot without a decent try at fixing it. I think in your situation that I would probably do the same thing and talk to my Dad. Not a lecture, but just a little heads up so he can get his game on. I don't have a clue if this is the right thing to do, but he will know you mean well.

I know you must be feeling all out of sorts with this grim news you have gotten. No worries, eat more if it helps keep the binge monster at bay. When you feel better, you will be happy you didn't binge even if you did eat more than you wanted.

Hang in there! I'm here to listen anytime you need to vent or cry.

Posted 1 month ago #
Nat
Member

Truly Joyce, thank you. I'm going to talk to my Dad tomorrow. He's been down lately and getting really upset over small things like the meat sticking to the fry pan. I stopped him and gave him a hug and cleaned the fry pan myself to give him a break. I'll let you know how the chat goes. Thank you for being here for me to lean on joyce, you're my mummamericano

I just had to post back here because IM SO PROUD

After my last post I was on edge for a binge. I was home with nothing to do and with LOADS of chocolate and cake in the house, then to top it off Mum bought home 2 packs of chocolate eggs and a block of dark choc with almonds (My FAVE!) I was really uneasy and tired but I used the power of thought and went in my room to read my new 'How to Meditate' book. It is so interesting and enlightening, I can't wait to read more. In the meantime, I charged my ipod ready for a walk...

but I forgot to turn the power on at the wall! HAHHAahha so I got down to the river for my walk and realised that it was dead. I contemplated going home.. but instead I took some of the things that I read from the book and went for an hour nature walk in silence. I rarely do it.. actually no, I NEVER do it. I always have music on...

I never realised how quiet it is to walk around the river and how you can hear the leaves in the trees and birds everywhere. It was really relaxing. There was no rush, I didnt HAVE to run or walk at a certain pace... I usually feel pressure to work hard or make myself sweat or burn certain calories but I decided to exercise purely for relaxation and it was DAM BEAUTIFUL!

Got home, cooked eggs on toast because I was craving it.. now Im satisfied to the max but im looking forward to a Hot X Bun with coffee later. TELL ME you guys have hot x buns where you live!!!???

Posted 1 month ago #
jent
Member

Good job Betty. You are soooo NOT UGLY BeTTY. But I did have to laugh when you said ugly betty came on. Your river walk sounds lovely...nature is very healing. Ok -- I gotta go -- i have let my runner sleep long enough. Good job on not caving to the bingemonster. I luuuurrrve you!

Posted 1 month ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hey lovely Nat !

I am so proud of you for overcoming the urge to binge. Everyday you get stronger and BED gets weaker, even if he still resurfaces from time to time. Wow that walk sounds great, it seems like you live in a really nice spot !

Posted 1 month ago #
Joyce
Member

Nat, I am so proud of you too, you did great! That shows real strength leaving your favorite food and going to find a new favorite thing to do. When I get a chance to walk alone outdoors, I walk in silence too. It is very relaxing and Jen is right, it is healing. I do a lot of thinking and talking to myself when I walk alone. I like to think of it as a form of meditation where I bond with my inner thoughts.

I have heard the song HOT CROSS BUNS, but I can't say I have ever had one. Unless of course, they are cinnamon rolls. I'm not sure I know what a hot x bun is. Is it just a plain roll? Or a sweet roll?

Please do let me know how that talk with your Dad goes. I'll be thinking about you.

Posted 1 month ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey J! Yes babe we do say that Well I don't have advice to your first post as you already know everything, NO GUILT, NO CALORIE COUNTING, and wip out that dark chocolate when you need it!! Great job today love. Really..I'm so proud of you for resisting that bingey feeling and pulling out that great book and then going on a beautiful walk. Well done. The key for you is eliminating that guilt and stop that stupid calorie counting. I know you can intuitively eat..I've seen you do it before super successfully! Have a great (hmm..sunday now in Aussieland??) MWAH...Lozzie

Posted 1 month ago #
Sez
Member

Hey Nat!
I'm soo proud of you for not binging!! Especially since the last post of yours I read you weren't feeling to flash. You walk sounded really nice and like you enjoyed yourself. Amusing about your iPod though, cause I always do the exact same thing with my phone. Realllly annoying when you need to contact someone!! Eggs on toast sounds yum. And HELL YEAH we have hot cross buns in NZ. I loveee them now, but omg wanna here a funny story about them from when I was little... don't read if you are easily put off food though Okay when I was younger I use to hate Hot X Buns so much I would gag well I was eating them, the reason for this was that I always imagined the rasins/sultanas inside the buns were cats asses (come to think about it they kinda do look like it)... Oh dear I was a strange child!
xxx Enjoy the rest of ya weekend!! SEZ

Posted 1 month ago #
Nat
Member

Haha Jen, I did laugh myself when Bett's came on

Anou, you're right, these little steps moving forward slowly push the binge voice aside

Thanks Joyce, I definitely felt like it was quiet meditation when I walking too, it was so good to clear my mind and just stop all the noise and relax and let my thoughts flow in and out. Hot X Buns are an Easter tradition here.. they're a sweet bun with currents and raisins through them and a X on top to symbolise the crucifixion. We toast them and spread a little butter on top Mmmmm http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/recipes/3381001035_hot-cross-buns-recipe.jpg

Hey Lozzie, Thanks for re-inforcing that voice in my head to stop me from counting and restricting. I know I was doing so well eating intuitively. Ive been trying to lately but I just seem to keep going off track Yeah it's Sunday morning now! Having a chillax day with my sister - she's sick. You're probably sound asleep right now.

Sez, YUKKKK!!!! but soooo funny hahahahahhaha cat arses!!!!! Far out! I love sultanas but now all Im gonna think of is cat bum holes.. yum! Haha thanks for making me laugh babe.

I'm feeling down today and trying really hard to stay positive.

All I want to do is sit at home in loose clothing and do nothing. I've even been ignoring my friends phone calls sometimes. This HAS to stop! I need to get out of the house.

Its just so annoying, this out of control feeling. I hate it. It feels like there is a second person inside me telling me I NEED to eat these things while the other side is crying out begging me to stop. I am just so sick of the fighting in my mind it's really so draining and exhausting. I'm starting to lose the tone in my stomach and the bottom half is bulging out a bit. That's making me sad.

I remember when my bingeing started, I didn't realise that after 6 months it would still be going... I was totally in denial the first time I ate in my room in private. I was thinking 'shit this is what those people do who have bulimia and binge eat, lucky I'm not like that, this is just a one off'.

...

Okay I just organised to go down to the beach front with a friend for a walk and coffee, it's so nice and sunny outside so why not! I just ate brekky a little while ago...

B: Special K, sprinkle of muesli and pumpkin seeds with Soy milk!

.. and am feeling totally content! Woo!! I'm going back to waiting for my hunger cues Lozzie!!! Hooray!

I HONESTLY LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU ALL xxxx

Posted 1 month ago #
Joyce
Member

Nat, good job making plans to get out of the house. Those are the tactics you have to use to fight those voices telling you to eat. Show that binge monster who is boss, don't let him tell you what to do. Be a rebellious eater, do just the opposite of what that binge monster says. I know you know how to do it, surely you have been a rebellious teenager at some point in your life, haven't we all? So there you go! We all have the skills to beat this thing, we just need to bring those skills back to the surface and kick some binge monster booty! How's that for a pep talk?

I guess I have never seen hot x buns. I like the idea of them, I'm sure I wouldn't be able to eat just one though.

Love, Joyce

Posted 1 month ago #
Louise
Member

Your walk sounds perfrect Nat, it really does... you might be tempted to go it alone without music next time hey ?
Yep, i know hot x buns yum yum... can't get them here, but as I'm a brit, i am sure they'll be all over the supermarkets soon for Easter...
Let me know if you would reccommend your new book on meditation xxxx

Posted 1 month ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hey Nat, hang in there. There will be some hard days when we constantly fight in our heads but slowly well get more of these days when food just takes a secondary place in our lives and when we feel great and happy to be alive. I noticed in your journal you have had alot of these good days so you will be feeling better very soon I am sure! It allready sounds like you are doing all the right steps in the right direction by meeting up your friend and realising you WILL NOT go back to restricting.I am sure your body is perfectly fine , when I am bloated I feel it in my tummy and in my hips, booty and thighs, I litterally feel myself bigger....but after a couple of days of good intuitive eating it feels much better allready.
keep fighting and Im sending lots of love your way xoxox

Posted 1 month ago #
jent
Member

Good job making plans. Oh -- I made the soup today - its delish..give it a whirl! Stay strong betty boop. We have hot cross buns in NY. i know what you mean. I hope your day is filled with goodness and relaxation. Lovey you! XOX Jen

Posted 1 month ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey J!! Aww honey sorry you woke up feel bad. I feel kind of shitty/out of sorts today myself (from cycle) so I feel you absolutely. You know I didn't mean to say you can get back on track like before to make you feel guilty that you were doing it before and now aren't, just to let you know that YOU CAN DO IT. Its about totally changing that mind talk in your head and eliminating that guilt monster with his shoulds/shouldn'ts. Ok so I think its about time we re-instituted our one thing we like about ourselves each day (doesn't have to be physical..can be about our personality, talents, body whatever)...ok so I'll start. I love my sense of humor. I am a "good" girl with great morality, but I have a pretty dirty sense of humor that people love, including myself! Ok your turn...

Yay I am so glad that you made plans for a beach front walk and coffee...REALLY wish I could join you!! And so proud of you for wanting to listen to your body. You need to start cooking those DELICIOUS heavenly meals again! That is one way to for sure keep your palate satisfied! Love you mostest ~Lozzzzie

Posted 1 month ago #
Nat
Member

Joyce, I love how you said to do exactly the opposite to what the binge monster says, that is perfect!! I am so keeping that in mind this week thank you! You are a great pep talker p.s. i didnt get a chance to talk to dad yesterday, it wasnt the right timing so I'm hoping to do that this week sometime.

Lou lou, the meditation book isn't bad. It's about all the different types of meditation and finding the type that suits you etc. Im only a little way through the book so Ill let you know more as I read

Hey Anou, thank you sweetie. I already feel better today, you're right. I do literally feel fatter after a binge but today ive realised that a lot of it was just bloating and its gone down already. Thank you for having faith in me it means so much.

Hey Jenjen, i know! i read on your journal you made it, yum-O! I am going to try it out this week. love right back at ya xx

Lozzie, naw im sorry you had a crappy feeling day too but at least we can get through it together I knew exactly what you meant with the intuitive eating I was just glad that you made me remember how nice it was so be in control and to totally push out ANY thoughts of going back to restricting. HAHAHHAA I love your dirty sense of humour, thats fantastic hahaha. Well I like my fashion sense I like to be individual and quirky but still stick with the trends and it makes me express who I am on the inside. It's so much fun!...

I have a massive girl crush on Alexa Chung ugh! I love everything she wears, I love her hair and unique look. Mum reckons I look like her BAHAHhaha I wish! Maybe I can be her italian version. So anyway that's my self compliment I like my dress sense which is similar to hers

Today I'm feeling good hip hip hooray!!!

I had lunch with a mate yesterday. It was so nice to get outside and enjoy the sunshine and we chatted for about 2 hours about everything. I think I could say that he is my best guy mate. I can tell him anything. We get angry at each other and tell each other off but we never take it to heart. He always asks my advice on his clothes hhaha. He's pretty cool, he's Sri Lanken and we have similar interests and love cultured places and people.

Food yesty:
B: bowl cereal with soy milk
L: pita pizza with duck, plum sauce and feta (AMAZING!!)
S: natural yoghurt with nuked fruit bar + 4 pce dark choc, 2 small easter eggs
D: roast beef with veggies
S: 2 pce dark choc, coffee and 2 small choc easter eggs

I didnt binge I ate intuitively and did not restrict! are you proud?
After dinner I was so tempted to eat the fruit cake, white choc apricot slice, more choc eggs, hot x buns, almond block of chocolate and all the other crap that we have in the house. But then I thought, mmm how nice would it be to just relax, make a nice hot coffee and cuddle up on the couch and savour a few pcs of dark chocolate. I realised that all that food will still be there all week for me to have so there's no need to eat it all now.

I've made tasty food for today to keep me excited and satisfied!
B: toast with poached eggs, sundried tomatoes and cottage cheese
S: cruskits with tuna, grilled tomatoes and mayo
L: chicken salad wrap
S: natural yoghurt, nuked fruit bar and strawberries
D: chicken and roast veggies
S: 2 pce dark chocolate with coffee

*Ive realised another reason I overeat/binge during the week. I hate my job! haha, its a stepping stone for me and im heading overseas soon so theres no point me changing jobs. But im bored, so its a struggle each day to occupy and entertain myself. i find that i eat okay during the day but its a struggle to fight with not eating from boredom so by the time i get home, I want to rebel... im working on being more motivated and making my job fun!

xxx hope everyone's having a great day

Posted 1 month ago #
Sez
Member

Omg I am soo proud of you! Your food looks really good for both days. And it's so great that you didn't restrict and didn't go over bored. Well done on resisting the urge to pig out on the fruit cake etc. Yes it's not going to run away lol, it will be there tomorrow. And it's cool that you were able to make ya self a nice hot coffee and really enjoy with a few bits of choci!! That actually sounds like such a good thing to do. Next time I want to relax I might do the same.
I'm happy that you had a good time with your mate too! And complimenting your own style is also an awesome confidence boost.
And another thing it's also great that you have identified another trigger (you job).
Lovely to hear you are in a great mood!!
xxx Sarah

Posted 1 month ago #
Joyce
Member

Nat, in answer to your question, YES I AM PROUD OF YOU!!!!! You did great!

Good job fighting back yesterday, that binge monster tried to talk you into a binge on all those trigger foods in the house, and you said "NO!". That makes me so happy!
Keep it up girl!

Posted 1 month ago #
Lauren
Member

Definitely proud of you J!! That is awesome that you intuitive ate today and did well with it! And there is that delicious food that I know you can make! Got to spice up that diet to keep your sophisticated palate satisfied Oh Miss Fashionista..I can see that. Alexa Chung is so cute...love her style!! I wish I had style like that! Aw I'm so glad you had a nice time with your guy bestie chatting at the ocean front! Sometimes getting out and just being with people really does help, even if it feels like the last thing you want to do at that moment. Yeah having a job that you really don't like would def. make you want to rebel when you get home..I can see that for sure. When do you leave for Europe? Are you going to try and switch jobs when you get home from your travels? You are doing Awesome girly!

hmm ok thing I like today...I like that I have learned that what I think really does become my reality. When I expect bad, bad comes. When I stay hopeful and excited about the future, neat things happen. So today I was weight lifting and I looked in the mirror and was like wow my thighs look huge. Then I looked again, readjusted my pants, and said no you look really good. I then proceeded to walk around the gym standing tall and caught a couple guys checking me out during my workout. So its all in our heads...if I had continued to say that my thighs were big, thats all I would have seen and would have walked around ashamed of my fat thighs, but I CHOSE to see something different....I guess that means I've gotten really good at lying to myself haha but that is something I like about myself now....the ability to create my own reality

Ok your turn!
Love u J-dog. Mwah, Lozzzielicious

Posted 1 month ago #
Nat
Member

Hey sezbang! the fruit cake is still in the fridge haha it did not go anywhere, how strange! haha thanks for your kind words lovely

Wooo I did Joycey proud That makes me so happy. I did just what you said to do and it worked It wanted me to eat all day at work but I told it to shut up and let me do my work.

Lozzielicious you sexy animal you reow! I leave for europe in september, it's not too far away, its coming around so quickly and I really need to save some mula! So its really pointless for me to move jobs right now. I plan to get another job when I get home and I'm so excited about it. I guess I just need to make the most of my job now and try to enjoy it and find ways to make it more interesting. I like it when its really busy but lately its just little jobs that I can get done when I get it done.. no really strict deadlines. So my compliment for today eh...

(p.s. I reeeeealllly LOVE yours for today that is such a good one that I will take on next time I look in the mirror) So today I liiiike.... my mumma I really am grateful to have her in my life, shes so fun and loopy like me. We get along so well, I pack her lunch every day while she tries on 5 different outfits before she goes to work haha, shes like my child! I have to hurry her up and say 'come on now, we're going to be late!! AGAIN!!) We give each other fashion advice and its so fun. So I am very lucky to have her and that we get along so well. I might go smack her on the arse right now and tell her she's sexy

Today I ate exactly as I said above and did crave for a binge AT ALL! I even ate carbs and sugar today and still doin just fine so I'm so happy about that. I even had a pita wrap for lunch! I hardly ever have carbs with lunch and it kept me so nice and full. For the FIRST TIME in aaaages, I came home and did not automatically think about eating.

Okay so when I was restricting really bad, I only walked every now and then because I never had energy... then I started to run 6-10km 6 days a week. I think the exercise was a really big drag for me. At the end of my 9-5 working day, Id make myself go for a run and by the time I got home I felt like the night was gone. It was really a drag and I saw it as more of a 'chore' than fun and I didnt have time to relax.

So I have decided that I am really going to focus on my eating first and focus on that. Exercise is only for pleasure so I will only exercise when I want to, which at the moment is about 3 days a week walking with a friend. I'm not going to force myself to work out. I need to take it one step at a time and for now my eating is top priority.

Bedtime for me, I'm determined to have another great binge free day tomorrow, I can't wait xxxx

Posted 1 month ago #
ashwillgetbetter
Member

Your enthusiasum is a big motivator here.. gotta absolutely love those days where you know you've done the right thing, eaten sensibly and can relax knowing that the day ahead will be another chance to prove to yourself that you're in control of your body and will treat it right.

I can relate to the way you used to see exercise as a chore, i used to force myself to run for a good 40 minutes or until i was absolutely legless, face burning red and practically dripping wet.. the whole time i just wanted it to be over so i could get home, shower, eat my nice balanced dinner and get to bed, which is ideal but not always realistic, can't always be so systematic. Your walking with a friend sounds like a much more pleasant experience, to do anything physical that doesnt necessarily feel like slaving away exercising is a HUGE plus.. and then you might find eventually you do want to go on that jog just to mix things up later on, less focus on it may just bring it back naturally.

Eating as a priority does sound like the way to go for now, after all it all starts from the inside out. Keep up the great work

Posted 1 month ago #
jent
Member

I like your attitude snookie. Life is to be enjoyed. If exercise brings you pleasure do it. If not you are doing the wrong exercise, right. I love that you are friends with your mama. My mom became my best friend too...after years of rough times we are so close...I don't know what I would do without her!

Have another great day my dear. xox Jen

Posted 1 month ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Yayy I can allready see you are feeling better! Alexa Chung is so cute and has great style I agree ! The less you force yourself to workout the more you will want too. Its normal you felt horrible exercising without appropriate fuel because you need the energy to push through a workout ! So I understand how that couldve turned you off about exercise. I am glad you are going to do it intuitively !
I love how you are close with your mom, she sounds so cool !
Your eats look yummyyyyyyyy ! I want to kidnap you here so you can cook for me lol
I know what you mean about bingeing because you are disliking your job. I had a couple of months of bad bingeing when I used to work for an airline( customer service in their call center) it was so depressing when I looked around all the cubicles and people constantly talking in their headsets, and it was suuuuuuper stressful and busy. So then I would binge during my breaks or I would binge before my shifts because I was dreading them so much. Glad you are changing environments soon ! And youre going to Europe you must be so excited ! Where are you going to be exactly?

Posted 1 month ago #
Lorena
Member

Hey Nat,

Thats wicked you had what you felt like eating and didn't binge WOOHOOOOOOOOO!!

I so know how you feel about the gym. I see it as a chore and it's rubbish and it does take up a lot of time. I know though if i had a week off i would want to gym lol. Its like a no win situation, but i'm glad you're gonna do exercise you like rather than what you think you should have to and good for you on focusing on the food first.

Posted 1 month ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey J-hottie! Sept will be here before you know it, so just hang in there with the job, like you said, and then when you get home you can find your dream job!! Aw I am SO glad that you have your mom in your life...she sounds amazing, fun, and like such a good friend. That really is awesome!! Haha you have to get her out of the house so she's not late..love it! The exercise thing sounds perfect...intuitive exercising..when you want to do it, do it, if not, no problemo! And wahoo to eating what you wanted, including that delicious sounding pita with lunch! Have a great day xoxo ~Lozzzziee-loo

Posted 1 month ago #
Rage
Member

Well done for putting the focus on food, and exercise to where it belongs: fun! It's the whole principles right, with the endorphins! But maybe if we exercise as a chore we get unhappy endorphins?
Your relationship with your Mumma sounds so cool, enjoy!
Hope you had a great day, send a bit of your mood over the ocean!

Posted 1 month ago #
Nat
Member

Hey Ash, thank you so much for posting. You are right about the exercise, I was just thinking that myself that I will probably feel like running again after it's not a 'must do'!

Jen jen! Yeah I think I will get back into enjoying running but not right now. I need to do some more dance classes or something and find something that I love.. that and get the motivation to move my arse of the couch! haha

Anouare!! Yeah my job is a bit of a drag, I think the boredom just really gets to me and lets me have too much time to think of food. That airline job sounds stressful no doubt you were binging I would have too! I'm heading all over Europe for 4 months, what am I gonna did without all you girls!!! Will have stop off and cook for you on the way back

LORENA! I KNOW! I feel so much better I reckon your spot on, I'll be craving the running once I know I dont HAVE to do it.

Sup Loz dog! Haha I know my mum is like my daughter, I have to rush her around. This morning I had to spray some tan on her legs and tell her 'not to forget her lunch' haha and 'did you forget to bring your lunch box home again!!!!!' geezus woman! haha.

Hey Rage, thank you so much it means a lot to me that you had a read of my journal. Yeah you are so right!! I dont want no moody endorphins! ************* < thats me sending you good moods

ARGHHH NEWS!!!!!

Lynden messaged me you know! the cute 25 year old from the other week. He wrote saying 'hey what have you been up to? have you got plans for the weekend?' I got it this morning at work and it made my day. ahhhh. I have a birthday this weekend so probably wont be able to see him. Okay nervous butterflies now...

I saw some photos from last week of me and I look puffy and chubby. I think it was because it was the day of a binge. But it made me feel down. I had worn the same outfit another time and looked really slim, everyone kept commenting. But this time nothing.

Lastly, some random spanish guy keeps writing me messages on facebook saying he wants to meet up when I go overseas (NOOOO idea how he knows Im going) and go out for coffee. Then he keeps sending me valentines messages and gifts haha.. so strange.

Food today:
B: Toasted Muesli!!!!!! ONE SERVE! NO CRAVING FOR MORE This has not happened with cereal in ages
S: cruskits with tuna, tomato and mayo
L: ham salad pita wrap with mayo
S: strawberries, nuked museli bar and natural yoghurt
D: kangaroo and char grilled veggies
S: 2 pce dark choc if I feel like it, which Im sure I will

Posted 1 month ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Ahhhhhh so exciting Lynden messaged you !!! Since I havent been single in ages I cant really remember those butterflies is that sad haha? So I will enjoy reading about it through you
You know sometimes we are body dismorphic even when we look at pictures of ourselves. I remember thinking I looked bad in some old pics and now that I look at them I think I was completely crazy. Dont feel bad I am sure you looked great as you always do even if you weigh a bit more or a bit less. I still have my mental image pic of you and youre gorgeous
Oh my did you eat actual kangaroo lol? I can imagine since you are in Australia , how does it taste?!
That spanish guy on FB sounds creeppy, I hate those freaks. Once a client I trained sent me a friend request with a creepy message so I just ignored it, then he went on and created an account with another name but the same picture ( how retarded is that??!) and tried to add me again. When I didnt accept it, he messaged me again so I had to tell him I dont accept friend requests from clients because I like to keep my personal life and work life separate lol. ( which is not true since I have a couple of ex clients on my fb but he doesnt have to know haha )
Just ignore him and hope he goes away I dont blame him for stalking you though

Posted 1 month ago #
Bingemonsterbegone
Member

Hey dragonfly,
Yippeee the tree guy texted- AWESOME! Hot lil hottie Hope your doing well..

Kangaroo- what does that taste like chicken?

Posted 1 month ago #
audreyL
Member

hey Nat! Was catching up with your journal and first I just have to say that i love Alexa Chung's style too! i'm american chinese so i try to imitate her lol. Another person i really love is Jessica Stroup.

you sound like you're attracting loads of attention from guys - you must be irresistible! keep us updated about Lynden. He sounds interested in you. what did you text him in reply?

And kangaroo?! wow. I'm not very adventurous when it comes to food. No offence but I wouldn't EVER try a kangaroo!

Posted 1 month ago #
Joyce
Member

Nat, your story about you and your mom is sweet. I'm glad you two girls have a good time.

I think you have got everything headed in the right direction concerning your eats and exercise. Just do what works for you and keep it up.

Can you take a date to that birthday celebration this weekend? Maybe that would solve your date issues with Lynden.

Be careful with the strange stalker on facebook, that makes me uncomfortable. Please don't give out too much info.

Ya know, I always worry too much and try to mother everyone.

Posted 1 month ago #
Sez
Member

Ohh lala lucky girl getting lots of boy attention!!! Must mean your confidence is shining through! As well as the fact your looking great! But a little creepy about the Spanish guy sending you valentines... My mate made out with a Spanish guy at the pub once and after that he thought they were dating. He followed her all the way to my house and was trying to tell her to go back to his. Then kept texting her and if he saw her at the pub would like start dancing with her so one time we snobbed him and he got really offended. It worked though he doesn't talk to her anymore lol.
Your food is looking yum. Btw what does kangaroo taste like? I always thought they were like a protected animal or something... never knew you could eat them.
Don't worry about the photos the day after a binge is never a day we look our best! And I bet they aren't as bad as you think they are anyway.
Hope you enjoy your evening.
xxx Sarah

Posted 1 month ago #
Lauren
Member

WAHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! LYNDEN TEXTED!! I knew he would!! That is sooo awesome!! You can't find anytime to squeeze some coffee or a beach walk with him this weekend?!? HELLO HE IS MR STUD MUFFIN! I say you make time so you can have a delicious amazing story to tell your biggest fan Lozzie on Sunday That is so awesome girl! Can't wait to hear what happens!!

Aw boo about the picture. I'm not going to lie..I rarely see a picture of myself that I like..the camera adds an extra 10 pounds to the extra 20 pounds our body dysmorphed eyes see..so try not to let stupid pictures get you too down. Cameras lie like our BED eyes do!

Kudos on the one serving of toasted muesli!! Hope you have a great day! MWah....lozzz

Posted 1 month ago #
ashwillgetbetter
Member

Mmm, sounds like a tasty palate you had going there today/yesterday! Not too sure about the kangaroo myself as i'm a bit picky with meats, but each to their own, as long as you enjoyed it!

Don't stress about the photo, i'm sure it wasn't half as bad as you'd imagined it to be, then again.. we're all a little guilty of dissing ourselves in any way possible when we've seen MUCH better days. Our time WILL come when we feel awesome no matter what we're wearing.. okay.. so maybe not every little thing but you know what i mean lol.

Hehe looks like someone has a secret admirer.. or not so secret as he seems to be making forward action here.. hmm strange indeed! Don't pay any attention unless you're genuinely interested.. i always seem to make the mistake of playing along and it can lead you into some very interesting/sticky situations to say the least..

Anyway hope all is going well, keep strong! Ash xx

Posted 1 month ago #
Nat
Member

Hey cookiedough. You have butterflies but they are a more evolved and deeper kind You're still more than welcome to have some of my hyperactive ones though. Kangaroo is actually really nice, it is one of the leanest red meats and very tender. Ugh that client sounds like an absolute fruit loop!!! Yeah Im gonna ignore this spanish stalker and hope he goes away.

Megan, this nat is climbing her tree hahahaha. Roo tastes like fillet steak.

Hey miss audrey (love your name :)) Jess Stroup looks so gorgeous too! I like ya thinkin nahhh nah i dont get lots of boy attention, this is more of a one off haha. You can see what I wrote back to lynden below... and kangaroo is just like eating cow here, its just like a piece a steak haha but i totally understand people feeling weird about eating it.

Joyce! Yeah that spanish stalker is being ignored. I promise I wont give out any info or get in any trouble. Id hate for anything to happen when I go overseas. Thank you for caring about me and I think im going to see Lynden on friday as you'll see below

Sez! haha this is once in a blue moon so its nice to have some attention. thats soooo creepy about that spanish dude how scary! ugh im definitely staying away from this one. kangaroo is a really lean red meat, just like a fillet steak. I feel mean talking about eating kangaroo when so many people on here are against it but some people think we have kangaroos as pets here.. but we dont, they're just like cows kinda.

LOZZIE! omg your msg made me giggle at work and i had this massive smile on my face for a few hours. It made me so much more excited that I already was. Thank you for joining in on my excitement haha!

Hey Ash, yeah you're right i was probably overeacting and over analysing the photos so Im trying to put it past me. I will be very careful with my admirer hahaha

Got outta the house after dinner and walked with a girlfriend, it was so nice to catch up! We gossiped about boys and what not. I'm glad I didnt sit at home and think of food. I even skipped the dark choc and had strawberries instead because I felt like something fresh. Felt in total control today with my eating, I'm very proud of myself.

So the boy news...I msgd him back just general stuff and then said i had a 21st on the weekend and asked what he was up to. He replied saying that he was coming down on the Friday night for drinks and dinner with some mates and that I at least owed him a walk home... (because when we met randomly in the street he walked us home and pretended to be our bodyguard haha). So I said that I guess I could help him stumble home and some other chatty stuff. I ended the messaging by saying Goodnight so that I was in control haha. So Im hell nervous now and hoping I'm not his booty call as he wants to see me after he's had drinks and dinner and not inviting me along... is that wierd?

When I was seeing a boy about 4 or so months ago, thats when my eating got really bad.
I felt that (especially since i was newly single) I needed to be really skinny and perfect to impress and keep the boy interested. I'm starting to feel the pressure slightly again, like I should restrict and I know these thoughts are bad and that I should just aim to be my natural weight. That way, I wont feel the need to stay that skinny all the time and find someone who actually likes me for me normally...

Anyway chickens im off for some beauty sleep. love to you all xx

Posted 1 month ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey Sleeping Beauty Oh yeah I meant to tell you in my last message...don't respond to the weird Spanish stalker on FB..I have had Latin and African dudes try and friend me on FB but I always say no and they send strange messages. Stay away from a weirdo on FB you don't know. (Have to protect my J)

I'm glad you had a great day with food and got out for a nice walk with your girlfriend...nothing better than boy gossiping

So about Mr Hottie...well I'm not sure about him just wanting you to walk him home. Maybe you should say you can't but you can go out for lunch or coffee on Saturday, that way you get to know each other and its not just a walk home (potential booty call) with him drunk. I know what you mean about feeling that pressure to look good for a guy you are interested in but here is the thing, he is attracted to you and asked me your number based on what he sees NOW. So sure great if eventually you get to your ideal weight for yourself, but remember that he obviously saw something he liked exactly how you are now. Thats how I feel about the boys I've been talking to, I haven't pressured myself to lose weight for them, because obviously they are liking what they are seeing now. So remind yourself that when you feel like restricting. Hot Mamacita attracting Mr. Stud Muffin Mwwwahh ~Lozzz

Posted 1 month ago #
Joyce
Member

Hey Nat, Lauren is right on the money. Lynden saw you just the way you are, you didn't go out all gussied up trying to pick up a guy, and he was attracted to YOU! I'll tell you what I've told my daughter (because I am Mama J, ya know). You don't want a boyfriend or husband that you feel you can't be yourself with because that wouldn't be an enjoyable relationship. And who wants an uptight uncomfortable relationship always having to try and impress. Wouldn't you rather relax and have fun? Just be yourself, love yourself, and you will find Mr. Right that will love you too. If it isn't Lynden, then it will be somebody else. Sorry about the lecture, I couldn't help myself.

Posted 1 month ago #
Rage
Member

Hey Nat,

What is booty call exactly?
Now yeah probably seeing him after dinner and drinks is not the best way to know him a bit more, and to just check whether those butterflies are worth it! He's texted you, so he likes you, so no reason to put pressure on yourself eating wise. You want to keep that "in charge" feeling like with the good night text - don't we all or am I just weird? So... you're the lady, you should get another walk home, and a proper time with him! L'Oreal's got a killer strap line: because you're worth it! You deserve a gentleman on your side, go and taste if he's one. You have a great birthday party to look forward too, so that should keep your mood as positive (thanks for the ****) as possible! Enjoy.

Posted 1 month ago #
Nat
Member

Yo Loz! You are right, he liked me that night so there is no need to change. If I lose weight, then its for me and me only! Also, he's only down in my town on Friday night.. Im thinking I might head out and have a few drinks with a gfriend and my sis and then maybe see if him and his friends want to meet us for drinks. That way everyone gets to make friends and maybe my sister will even have a spark with one of his mates

Joyce, I loved your caring lecture and you are totally right. I DO NOT want a relationship where i constantly have to try and impress and not be myself. My friend is in a relationship like that and she is miserable I can tell. So Id rather have a loving bf who wants me for who I am.

Hey Rage! a Booty call is like a 'sex' call. Like he only wants to hang out with me on his way home from drinking to 'get some' which I am NOT up for haha. But Im not sure if it's like that.. because when I met him the other week, we were walking home from a bar and we just talked for an hour outside my friends house so there was nothing suss then...
Haha no I love being in control and not being all obsessive and needy when I dont even know him!

Hey girls, my hair cut at the moment is a short bob and my hair is dark brown and wavy. I'm thinking of getting uplighting in my hair like A Chung (Baha i sound so obsessed with her) ive been thinking of doing it for ages but too chicken: http://www.shinylittlethings.com/wp-content/uploads/0909-alexa-chung-8-de.jpg What do you guys think?

Food today:
B: toast with poached eggs (ew cracked one and it was rotten! bleh!!!) with cottage cheese and sundried tomatoes
S: cruskits and tuna
L: mountain bread wrap with chicken mayo and grilled vegetables
S: berries, muesli bar and natural yoghurt
D: eye fillet steak with some sorta veggies
S: Whatever nan brings for dessert!!! Yum, will let you know what it is

I feel another good day ahead... yay!

xxx

Posted 1 month ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hey Nat!

Keep us updated on what your gonna do with the Josh Hartnett lookalike lol. I like your idea of meeting in a group like that you can also see how his friends are like and all and it will take away the pressure of an official date.
He obviously finds you sexy just the way you are so I dont think you should feel pressured to be skinny. Actually most guys I know loveeee some curves but we insist on wanting to be as skinny as possible !
I would be game to try kangaroo haha And now I actually have to kidnap you AND your Nan so I can eat your delicious foods and desserts !
I like the highlights and if you want a change you should try it ! I tried it in the summer by highlighting my dark brown hair and it wasnt for me though. It didnt feel right and I missed my dark mysterious look lol. I just didnt feel like myself so I put it back dark brown but it kinda messed up my hair and now it keeps fading where the highlights were so its annoying. I think you wont know if you like it till you try it hehe !

Posted 1 month ago #
Bingemonsterbegone
Member

Hey dragonfly-
Roo sounds eight up my hubby's alley, he loves steak. I'm more a fowl kinda gal- yanno chicken or turkey! Foul
Way coolio- you and tree are gonna have a group hookup, have fun & be you he will be smitten!
Your hair sounds cute, I too am dark haired & I got my hairs highlighted & everyone says they love the copper highlights that I got on it, it really makes my facial features & tan pop more. I'm a fan of it, I also got my haircut & it looks super trendy now, I say go for it, highlights or lowlights are all the rage these days, you can always color over them next time if you want to go back to the dark mysterious look yanno. I like to mix it up from time to time, so I don't look so same ole, same ole, yanno. A new hairdo or cut or highlight gives your look a boost.

Ewe on the rotten egg, NASTY. Have a good sleep my aussie lemon friend! Megan

Posted 1 month ago #
Sez
Member

HELLO!!!!
Ohh I just looked at the pic of the hair you want to get and YEES!! I say go for it. It gave me a bit of a confidence boost getting mine done so I def think you should!! I'm kinda agreeing with Lauren on the boy thing... you should try arrange to met up during the day when hes sober. But if he seems mature, likes to talk and doesn't get trashed then it's prob all right to enjoy a walk with him :), just don't let him have his way lol. Oooh I can soo relate to the pressure to be thin to look good for the guys!! I had that so bad at one stage, now i'm also just trying accept myself how I am, it's hard work isn't it. But that's how god made us, so that should be when we look our most beautiful (i'm not religious btw). And I'm sure boys will prefer a happy, confident, curvy girl to a moody, depressed one who is always concentrating on what she eats.
Your food looks yummo btw! Hope ya desert is good too!
xxx Sarah

Posted 1 month ago #
Lauren
Member

Yep you are right, get healthy ONLY for you!! That sounds like a perfect plan for Friday night...that way it isn't a booty call and maybe your sis will find a hottie too Ok that hair cut SO cute!! I say go for it! Food looks lovely J! XOXO ~Loz

Posted 1 month ago #
Bingemonsterbegone
Member

Morning my lucious lemon friend with the juicy booty! Here's hoping you have a rainbow like day oh.

Posted 1 month ago #
Lorena
Member

Hey Nat,

I think her hair is really nice. I love the wavy look and if I could pull off that look i'd go for it. You're so lucky to have wavy hair. Can you curl, and straighten it easily?

Good thinking about the weight and guy situation. He will like you for you and you need to too and if you do then he'll love it!

Posted 1 month ago #
Rage
Member

Hey Nat,

Thank for the translation. I thought it must be that when reading the context but always love to learn! So yeah, good plan meeting in respective groups. I like the way you say there'll maybe be a match for your sister too, I'd love to have my little sister when I got out... So between your mumma, your sis, you have crackin folks, great! I'm sure they've got advice for seeing him too!
For the hair thing, it looks lovely. I've never had any colour or highlights done on mine, and it's very curly and thin, so the thing to consider if yours is wavy (and I assume fragile too?) is whether it's gonna f..k it up texture wise? Maybe go a a dark honey tone or auburn?
Bring the shit egg back to the shop!
Take care.

Posted 1 month ago #
Nat
Member

Hey chipmunks!!

Thanks Anouare, Woohoo one taker on the kangaroo! Haha Oh i wish you were here last night to have some home baked apple crumble it was drool worthy. Yeah youre right, i wont know until I try it and I put off cutting my long hair for so long because i was scared, but now im so glad that I did.. and hair grows! and mine is short so it wont take long to grow out

Megan megan, afternoon lemon titties! yep i think im gonna take the plunge and dye it.. im picturing your funky hair do right now, suits your personality just perfect.

Sezzie, yay im glad you approve! I cant wait for the confidence boost I hope it doesnt look horrid, maybe ill post a pic for u guys to see. sooo true, i was a moody bitch when i was starving myself, now im calmer and a lot more fun to be around. I know what type of guy id rather be around!

Lozzie, phew, you like the hair! I'm scared but i have nothing to lose and i can always dye it back! yep, im hopin my sis has a bond

Hey Lorena, i used to hate having wavy hair. my sis had dead straight hair and i was always jealous.. but now i realise she cant ever curl it, it just never holds. I can easily straighten, wave or curl my hair and it holds anything. I guess thats a positive that I can focus on instead of my thighs today

Hey Rage! Yeah I really want my sis to find someone nice. I am a lucky duck for having a great family and i never take it for granted. And ofcourse, i need her opinion on ma man! hahaha. Im glad you like the hair. My hair isn't that thin nor thick, its in between. thats the only things id worry about - damaging it. maybe ill go in and ask the hair dresser for her opinion! DARK HONEY! Perfect! I thought the blonde was a little too much for me.

Hello everyone!

How about these sorta colours for my hair (not the cut/style): http://images.nymag.com/daily/entertainment/26_sjp_lgl.jpg I have dark hair like she does at her roots.. so maybe get the bottom uplighted with the dark honey tones? Uplighting kinda looks like regrowth so not many people dig it, but I like it

Another binge free day for me! So happy and proud of myself. No urge to binge AT ALL! Hoping this isn't just a phase and will stick for good.

B: muesli with almonds, soy milk and psylium husks
S: cruskit, tuna and baba ganouch - cant spell for shit!
L: toasted wrap with chicken and salad and parmesan mmmm
S: berries, cottage cheese and bodywise bar
D: dunno man! might look up a new tasty recipe! I usually get them off http://www.taste.com.au/ there's so many goodies!
S: few pce 85% cocoa dark choc (im lucky that i love the really bitter taste)

Walking with a friend tonight how lovely!

xxx

Posted 1 month ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hey love!
YUm YUm YUm homemade apple crumble. Did you have it with vanilla ice cream ?
I absolutely LOVE the color SJP has in that pic !! I was talking shit about how I prefer my dark hair and this makes me want to dye it ha ha ha ! I say DO IT ! Its gonna look hot since its not too light for you and its more low maintenance since its "uplighting" ( didnt know that term existed ). I guess it could look like regrowth but surprinsgly it works very well in that pic !
I am so happy you are back on track and eating your yummy nutritious foods without an urge to binge ! xoxox

Posted 1 month ago #
jent
Member

Sounds like a great day all around....bravo beautiful...you've done it....wishing you a terrific tomorrow as well. xox Jenjen

Posted 1 month ago #
Joyce
Member

Nat, yay on another binge free day! Enjoy that walk!

Posted 1 month ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey girl....oh you should so go for the SJP hair color in the picture..I bet you'd love super gorgeous with that! You have my vote Congrats on another binge free day!! Of course love that your eating you some baba ghannouj NIte J Lozzie

Posted 1 month ago #
Sez
Member

Hey Nat. Oooh yes the hair colour in the pic is nice too. Bet you will be super stylish! Well done on another binge free day, that's awesome news. Also thanks for that recipe website I think i'll start using it. I've been cooking for the whole fam lately and been getting recipes off Rachael Ray's website she has some damn tasty stuff too, but everything on there is written American terms which is kinda annoying. Like they call a frying pan a skillet and the oven a girdle or something... Anyway have a good sleep looove! xxx Sarah

Posted 1 month ago #

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