Tips to stop overeating, stop emotional eating, stop eating fast food, stop eating junk food
my story from the beginning
Home › Binge Eating Forum › Binge Eating Support – General Comments, Questions, and Posts › my story from the beginning
May 5, 2012 at 6:55 pm #5052
Ive had a binge eating disorder for about 2 years now. I can’t remember exactly when it was that it started, but i can remember about 2 years ago, i was sitting on my bed and i typed into the search bar ‘do i have an eating disorder?’ This was when i first realised that my relationship with food wasn’t normal. Yet i lived with the disorder without doing anything for about a year.
It all started when i tried to lose weight. But then id end up failing in some way or another. So after the fail, id try again and fail again. i kept doing this but it got worse and worse and i got more ridiculous when i tried to lose weight again on each cycle. I got to the stage where i was following extremely low calorie diets which were completely unrealistic. I could usually keep to it for 1-2 weeks before id have a huge binge. To the extent i could put on a couple of pounds in one night when i weighed myself the next morning.
A year on i knew i needed help so i tried to get over it. But i still couldn’t get out of this starving, bingeing cycle. I think i was kidding myself saying that i was getting over it but really i wasn’t even trying because i couldn’t bring myself to eat food containing ANY fat when i wasn’t bingeing.
So here i am, another year later. I stopped dieting about 2 months ago. I completely just got rid of my food diary phone app, stopped counting calories (although i sometimes cant help mentally clocking them up) But the bingeing still happens. Im not expecting it to go away straight away but at least now i am in a place where i can see what i was like before. I know it was all stupid and that i need to get better now. I have made big steps like eating out. Ive ate out twice in the last 2 weeks, after not eating out for over a year!!!!
All i want is as much help, tips and advice as possible so that i can try to finally let go of this disorder. I would absolutely love to have somebody or some people who i could personally talk to as well and keep on track with and update to eachother how we are doing. I know that most websites and help programmes all say ‘everybody has something which triggers a binge. when you find out what that is, you can try to control it’ but i honestly cannot work out what it is. Ive tried keeping a tick and cross chart for days where i have binged or havent binged but i simply cant pinpoint something which could be triggering it.
(by the way, i am a ‘healthy weight’ although in the future i am hoping to be about a stone lighter which i think will come with getting over this disorder. I have a BMI of about 23 and i am quite active) <<<—- without this disorder i would have an amazing life. Im starting college in September and i would really really like to be better by then so that i can start fresh and new. I would appreciate any help i could get and am happy to try my hardest to help other peopleMay 6, 2012 at 12:05 pm #94049
yesterday was good and i didn’t binge although i would say i ate more than i should have. One of my biggest problems is when im looking through the kitchen cupboards trying to find something to eat. For example, just. I was looking for something to eat for lunch and i started picking at dried fruit out of the bag and then i ate a couple of biscuits out of the tin. Or when im stood waiting for something in the microwave for 5 or 10 minutes and i get bored so i start opening the cupboards and picking on food in them and probably eat more calories than i realise.
I really need to try to stop doing this because then i would only have to tackle my binges which always seem to happen at night or late evening. I really hope somebody is out there going through the same as i am and would be willing to help and support me as i am happy to for anybody else. I just want to be able to say ‘yeah, i HAD an eating disorder’May 6, 2012 at 12:54 pm #94050
I love it….”yeah, I HAD an ED!” Katiea32 I am so impressed that you have come as far as you have ALREADY in knowing that dieting is the culprit of binge eating. Plain and simple we created the monster but the good knews is we can have our life back. The other thing I would recommend is getting rid of the scales! We are so tuned into our body that we can figure out to the 1/4 pd how much we weigh, right? Break those ties too.
What has worked for me is planning EXACTLY what I want to eat. For instance, yesterday was Cinco de Mayo so I was hungry for guacamole and chips. So I planned for it, ate sanely, enjoyed every bite and then was done for the evening. No over eating and no binge eating urges later where normally there would have been . I’ve been doing this successfully for 2 plus months and am BF. The key is to eat what you crave in an open manner not picking through the cupboards eating things that aren’t really satisfying. I urge you to give this a try.
Wishing you a loving and sane day.May 8, 2012 at 5:09 pm #94051
I agree, and its so weird that you said that because i made the decision just last weekend that i was weighing myself for the last time for as long as i can manage. I usually weigh myself at least once a week, but most of the time more than that and i think that that is holding me back and not helping. So i shall definitely take your advice there and ditch the scales for as long as possible.
I have also made a tick and cross chart which is like a calendar with a square for each day. Every binge day i have to put a big X in the box, but every binge free day i get to put a big tick in the box. So far ive been using the chart for just over a week and only had one X.
Also, well done for been binge free for 2 months! That is actually AMAZING! The longest ive ever been was 4 weeks which was when i used to do extreme dieting and i decided to eat no more than 1200 calories for this ’4 week challenge’. I used to read motivation quotes every day and watch thinspiration videos on youtube. But although it only made my bingeing worse as soon as i finished the challenge, it kind of worked out for the best because it was that that made me realise that dieting was the culprit here, and until i got rid of the dieting… the bingeing was going nowhere!!!
I am also trying to eat things if i crave them. But i am finding this difficult and its something i hope to be able to do with time. Im still in that mindset of ‘if i eat chocolate, then it will be a bad day, and i might not lose weight today.’ Which i know and am trying to get out of. I ate out the other day and i would have liked the curry and rice but i knew it would have cream, coconut milk ect in it. And even worse they put the calories of the meals on the menu. So i ended up having a pasta dish which had around 650 calories in because the curry had around 900! I think that this, along with the ditching the scales are my two next stepsMay 9, 2012 at 3:19 pm #94052
Today has been good so far.
I ate cheerios and skimmed milk for breakfast
A wholemeal cob, a yoghurt drink, cereal bar and an orange for lunch
Then i just came home and ate an apple, some peas, a pot of rice pudding and 2 biscuits
Im not sure what im going to have for my tea but theres a portion of spaghetti bolognese in the freezer which is homemade and healthy.
Another problem which i always seem to get and would just LOVE to get rid of, is the urge to eat sweet things after a meal. Even if the meal was big and im full, i have these urges to eat something sweet and im not hungry what so ever. Any advice on how to get rid of this?May 9, 2012 at 3:38 pm #94053
I’ve just literally signed up to this Foru. After reading this thread in particular. Sorry to jump on your post but so much of what your saying is how I’m feeling.
I didnt / don’t know what it is called that I do. All I know is that I’m obsessed with calories, carbs and sugar levels. I work out for 2 hours around 5 times a week and hard core too. I aim to eat no more than 1200 calories a day but sometimes, and more and more often lately I just binge. I go crazy, even with ‘healthy food’ that I made to try and curb my excessive snacking. And it doesn’t stop there. As soon as I realise I’ve eaten over 1200 -1500 calories in a day I freak. Or if I realise I have a meal left and I know I’ll be hungry I get worried and find myself in the toilet making myself vomit. Doesn’t have to be everything, sometimes just enough so I know I have ‘gotten rid’ of enough calories. I even get frustrated when I’m doing this that I don’t know the exact number of calories im ‘getting rid’ of.
I appear quite healthy, I’m 5′ 2 and range from 52-54k but I know that if this continues I will gain weight that I work so hard to lose.
I think I’m just greedy but I just don’t know why I’m doing this. It’s so strange. I told my bf but he doesn’t get it! He just says ‘don’t eat then’ but I can’t!
Today I started my day with very healthy homemade protein version pancakes (200 cals) then snacked on a homemade and also very healthy protein bar (137 calories) lots of herbal tea later I had lunch, three quorn sausages , some tomatoes and a flat mushroom (250 cals) then got distracted on the phone and ate 3 more protein bars, followed by 25g of nuts and half a piece of turkey. Freaked out as I don’t have time for the gym today so went to the toilet and vomited.
This surely is not greedy and not normal?
One thing I’ve started to notice is that I react the same way when I’ve eaten too many calories as I do when I’ve spent too much money and am working out my finances. Odd
I’m so ashamed about how I eat that I’ve started to lie to people and feel guilty.
Please can someone give me ANY advice or somewhere to read about this?
I’d be so so gratefulMay 9, 2012 at 3:43 pm #94054
Also katiea32 I do the exact same thing with the snacking from the fridge and cupboards as well as craving sweet food when my stomach is bloated I’m so full. I like your chart idea, at give that a goMay 10, 2012 at 5:54 pm #94055
Well it sounds to me like your starting to develop bulimia which is an eating disorder like bingeing, however people with a binge eating disorder don’t make themselves throw up. I was once in that frame of mind where i only ate 1200 calories but now i know and understand that my binge eating will NEVER go away if i carry on in that way, so the dieting has to stop.
So far it feels like my body is just taking advantage and eating loads of ‘bad foods’ because ive told it that it can. But im really hoping that the novelty will wear off and eventually i’ll stop wanting to eat rubbish all of the time.
Today has been pretty bad though. I havent binged at all but it was my last day at school today and everyone seemed to bring in food
Breakfast: low sugar/fat spaghetti hoops in tomato sauce and a fat free yoghurt
Lunch: crusty bread roll, cereal bar and an orange (but then i helped my friend eat this huge piece of cake. I probably ate 1/3)
Snack: sweets and 3 chocolates and 2 biscuits (in lessons)
Snack: apple and a piece of cake which i had at my parents work when i had to wait there for my mom
Tea: stir fry and a fat free yoghurt
Snack: 2 biscuits and some chocolate
I really really just want to be able to eat normally again because, although i was really full after my tea, i still really wanted something sweet and then ended up eating loads of sweet things. And it almost then triggers it off because im now really feeling the urge to binge. Ive just got to try my hardest to stay strongMay 16, 2012 at 8:37 pm #94056
This past week definately hasnt been great. I wouldn’t say ive had any proper binges but ive definately over eaten on some days and gone over how much i should be eating.
But im trying to turn over a new leaf. I want to lose a stone but im not going to do this through dieting. Im going to do this by stopping bingeing! Im going to eat healthily and if i really crave something like chocolate, then im going to have a little bit of chocolate! Im hoping that this will stop me from bingeing because im not going to deprive myself of foods if i crave them. Im just going to try to stop having these ‘mini binges’ and hopefully i will be quickly on the road to recoveryMay 18, 2012 at 6:18 am #94057
Is eating 1200 calories a day really that bad? Sorry I’m new and I am trying to figure out what is normal. I think I may have skewed ideas about what others consume in a day. Unless I’m on some sort of binge, or out at a restaurant, I find it hard not to measure everything. When I am not overeating I just want to KNOW that I am eating the right serving size. This leads to counting… I don’t really restrict the types of foods. I mostly eat at home and avoid sweets, chips etc. But if someone sends me something sweet in the mail… that’s a different story. So… what I guess what I am saying is that, I have been working on 1200 a day, I do have set backs. Not every day over 1200 is a binge day though. I need to lose some weight and eating “normally” just isn’t going to cut it. I almost want feel a little uncomfortable with hunger so I can feel proud that I beat it. When I binge it’s more about experiencing a certain flavor. Really nothing to do with being hungry. Usually I will over eat directly after a meal. My meals aren’t restrictive in content either, I enjoy them. I hope I didn’t offend anyone. I sort of know that I am wrong with all of this thinking… but a larger part of me thinks 1200 is right for me. It’s a challenge. If not that definitely under 1500, otherwise I will never see a change in my weight.May 20, 2012 at 12:04 pm #94058
hi katie32, glad you’ve finally let go of the dieting mentality! i remember your 4 week challenge and was impressed when you completed it, but i can’t say i am surprised that the binging started again in earnest when you stopped. have you read “brain over binge”? she talks about how & why the binge behaviour continued long after she stopped dieting. it might make sense to you too xxxMay 27, 2012 at 3:29 pm #94059
tobebingefree, i am a student at the moment and my parent dont know about my bingeing, so i cant purchase books and things like that to help me, as much as i wish i could. Yes, litterally the very next day after my 4 week challenge i binged, and i think i binged about 3 times in the week after.
The past month or so has been terrible and i have been bingeing 3-4 times a week, usually every other day! I think it must be stress related because my exams started 3 weeks ago, and they continue until the 27th June (so im right in the middle of them at the moment) and ive got 14 exams in total. As i have seen a rapid increase in my bingeing (from once a week maybe less if im lucky, to almost every day) this is the only thing i can put it down to.
However, i am trying my hardest to just eat normally and drop the dieting and calorie counting. Ive tried to get my head back in gear and i have actually been 2 days now binge free, and if im binge free today then that makes 3. Today, mid afternoon i ate a small bowl of ice cream because its such hot weather. Usually after that i would feel really guilty and think i’d blown it all and go and binge. However i told myself that it was perfectly normal to eat ice cream and that id probably still lose weight this week whether i ate it or not. In fact, i probably wouldnt have seen a difference on the scales if i hadn’t of eaten it. So this is my mentality at the moment and im just really hoping it works for me xxMay 29, 2012 at 4:39 pm #94060
4 days binge free!!!!! And if i dont binge today, which im not going to because i really want to get better, then that will be 5 days binge free!
I feel great this is the longest i have been for ages without bingeing, and i havent been depriving myself at all. I definately havent been eating any more than i should though, probably about 1800 calories. Before, that sounded like loads to me and it would have been my worst nightmare to eat that many calories, but now scene as i have lost weight eating that much, i see that this is perfectly healthy AND i dont binge because im not depriving myself. Like yesterday, i had a bowl of jelly and ice cream because the weather was so hot.
I feel great and i am looking at food in a whole different light. I realy hope to carry on like this and eat normally and keep ticking off more and more days as binge free! xMay 29, 2012 at 9:45 pm #94061
Ive done it, 5 days binge free!!!!!!!!!!
I just cant wait until i can say ’1 week binge free!’ xxMay 30, 2012 at 7:58 pm #94062
6 days binge free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Omg, tomorrow will be 7! I’m so happy i want to cry. And do you know whats amazing? I dont even feel like i want to binge at all. Or like im craving anything, i just feel so great, i want it to carry on like this forever i really do x
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
Recent Forum Posts
- bright_eyes1 on Recovery, or so I thought?
- Angel on Recovery, or so I thought?
- bright_eyes1 on Recovery, or so I thought?
- bright_eyes1 on Recovery, or so I thought?
- Angel on Venting
- bright_eyes1 on Starting over
- MrLonely on Introducing myself
- lil4038 on Introducing myself
- MrLonely on Back after a long hiatus
- JWRS on Back after a long hiatus