Momo's new journal-Hello « Binge Eating Forum

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Momo's new journal-Hello

(8 posts)

Started 5 months ago by M
Latest reply from Joyce

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M
Member

Hiii everyone--
I joined this site today because I went through all of your wonderful posts and already felt better just reading them! I moved from a small town to big city last year and started all over with no friends. The stress and pain from that time led me to start binge eating and I have gained weight-I am still at a "healthy weight range" but I feel like I have excessed MY healthy weight, if that makes sense. I have been binging for like 6 months now and I want to stop. I don't want to make food my life and I want to deal with my problems up front instead of covering them up with food. It took me a long time to get to this point, where I could identify my problems and actually admit that I am a binge eater. I want to turn around now and be productive with my life! Tonight is the beginning. I feel like I have tried so many tips and rules and none have helped. I hope that having this support will help, because sometimes I fall inside myself and get trapped in my mind and feel like I'm running in circles, ya know? Like I'm never going to get to where I want to be. I have friends in the city now and things in my social life are good, but I still go to food as my sort of entertainment or comfort or whatever. I also used to be really, really active in high school and now I am not. I'm really hard on myself sometimes (I'm kind of a perfectionist) and I'm still really secretive about my ed with my family and stuff; it's great to see people here holding each other up! Anyway, that's all for now... Hope to hear from some of you
M

Posted 5 months ago #
Hil87
Member

Hey! I can relate to so much of what you said. I moved last August to a brand new city and state where I knew absolutely no one. It is really great that you have made friends now and have a social life going because that will help with everything. It seems so easy to turn to food as entertainment or comfort, but we have to find the thing that we can do to replace that. One good thing to do is come on here and write or read what other people have posted. That has really helped me when I feel like I'm going to binge. Good Luck! - Hillary

Posted 5 months ago #
singphantom7
Member

You sound like me. I use food as a filler. It became (still is sometimes) one of my main activities. Eating was a time consuming activity I used to fill several voids and problems in my life. I'm so sick of using it like that. I have to tell you, I just recently started working out again. I love to do it. I don't know if you love it or hate it, but doing something fun and active for even just a half hour can help so much in that day. It seems to help with my urge to fill voids with food. Good luck, and keep writing. This place is also a very helpful tool you can use. Everyone here is so supportive!

Posted 5 months ago #
M
Member

I moved in August too!! It was so hard because I wasn't going to school and had no job. It was a pretty dark time thinking back on it, eek. But finally one day I'd had enough, because I'd been such a social, happy person before so I signed up for volunteering and started new classes and met some really awesome people But the food thing didn't go away, ugh! And I signed up for a gym, I've been really busy lately so I need to get back on going. Actually, know what? I'm going to go this morning, singphantom7! This site is freaking amazing...Haha. But I resisted the urge to binge last night and sat down in my room and wrote instead. It really made me think about why I eat and how my emotions really are controlling it-I'm new to thinking like that.

Today I'm going to work out, catch up on studying, take a bike ride to lunch with my dad, then I am picking up my best friend from the airport! She is coming to stay with me for a week and we are going dancing later tonight I can't wait! So today looks pretty active--sometimes though even on active days I'll trigger and just start eating really fast and won't stop--I'll convince myself that "I need to get this food because I won't have any other time to eat it" which is true but I totally take it overboard I really hope I'll be able to control myself. DAY 1 BABY!! (This is like Day 1 #500, I have tried so many times to start over. I'm trying not to let that get to me now. Just feeling really skeptical about this so far)

Hillary--What else have you tried to replace with? I've been getting back into my art, and studying. I feel like a big reason I binge is to procrastinate, I've been falling behind on my classes and stuff. I'm really hard on myself about it... That's great you sound so on track! I hope I can get to your level of understanding your body and what you need to do to keep from binging!

Singphantom7--I relate so much to what you said. I procrastinate so much by eating, as I said earlier. It has been just ballooning my problems and making them much harder to solve than before, and therefore much easier to ignore and eat away. I'm really going to go to the gym though, I used to be such an athlete and I just fell out of it because it wasn't a part of my daily schedule anymore (I was on a team and went to practice every day). Maybe I should try joining a club or something... Are you working out today?? What's your favorite workout?

I'll stop rambling--Thank you both so much for posting. I can't express how grateful I am, wow. Alright, well hope your days are beautiful!
M

Posted 5 months ago #
hlthwrtr
Member

Hi, M:

Glad you found this place; it's a diamond in the rough! I, like you, have used food as a filler, lover, friend, comforter, to procrastinate, to pass time. I'd eat because I hated myself, hated everyone else. I'd eat b/c I didn't know what else to do. I did this for the past 3 years and I'm just trying to dig my way out of this huge hole. Don't slip as far as I have.

What I learned from the smart folks on this site is, as hard as it is, don't think about the weight gain/weight loss. Focus on changing the role food plays in your life. Do you restrict or diet? The guilt about food and eating is a big driving force to binge, I think, and letting go of those guilty feelings (I screwed up, so F it; I'll just eat everything! I'm such a failure at this? Why can't I stop? I'm no good!), especially if you have "perfectionist tendecies," which I do too, may help. Just be kind to yourself, Girl. Exercise or finding a team would be great b/c it's social and bingeing is such a lonely disease. You'll get through this.

China

Posted 5 months ago #
Hil87
Member

Hey M - So there are other things that I'm trying to replace the feeling to binge with and they mostly involve keeping myself or my mind occupied in some way. Homework is a good way to do that, but like you mentioned eating can be such an easy way to procrastinate. I also have used exercise as a coping mechanism, but you have to be careful that you don't begin to use physical activity as a way to compensate for eating because that isn't fixing the problem. Last night to keep myself occupied I talked to a good friend for a really long time and it kept me out of the kitchen. I've found that a good way to listen to my body is every time I think I want to eat, I ask myself if I am truly hungry and why I'm about to eat. A good portion of the time there's some other reason I want to eat that isn't related to hunger. You're doing a great job too!! -Hillary

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey M! Welcome to the site! Glad you are here with us! Moving is tough...but its good that you have started making friends and doing fun things like the dancing tonight!! The bingeing has just become a habit for you to cope with the move...but you'll break that habit! And everyone will be here to help you get into recovery! Keep posting! Hugs, Lauren

Posted 5 months ago #
Joyce
Member

Hi M, welcome to this forum. When you feel the urge to binge, get on here and start posting. Doesn't matter whose journal it is, just say hi and offer them your support. I've gotten through lots of binge scares this way. It is a great distraction. And in time, you will have made some really great friends. Good luck in your journey!

Posted 5 months ago #

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