Hi i'm Mila and i'm in my twenties. I'm an overweight binge eater.
I binge on sweets, cakes, take-a-ways, CHOCOLATE and bread mostly. It can happen on a daily basis- and i don't know why. Possible reason? Could be my very poor self esteem and lonliness. However, sometimes i've had good personal days and weeks where i still chose to binge! It's something i can't understand. yet i hope that writing a journal here of my experiences with binges and binge feelings will help me somewhat. Wish me luck, i guess.
Yesterday night was a binge for me. I ate an entire bag of chocolate. I didn't even enjoy the taste of most of it- but i still chose to shovel it into my mouth :(. The reason this binge probably happened is because i have a box where i store "reward" treats for the week. I keep them knowingly in one spot of the house- and yeah, basically i devour the entire selection. It's pricey aswell! That's what annoys me. why do i do this to myself? buying treats that i know will tempt in badly. The diet i began in the beginning of January 2012 is going well. Surprisingly! I have lost a total of 7 pounds. I do my daily 60 minute walk- and i believe this is the reason i've lost that. Because truthfully i haven't restricted myself much in this diet. Having about 1,000 cals daily- and allowing a nibble on a sweet or the occasional chocolate bar. I devised this diet as to not make me feel deprived. yet, clearly, binging still happens for me! Dissapointing.
Today I had a small 150 cal breakfast. Muesli (healthy :)). And now it's 3pm....I'm hungry. Sweets hungry. Not a good way to be. guess i'll just see how i get on. My new method of binge control has been knitting wool. Yep, really. Whenever i'm craving i knit with my knitting needles on the couch/in bed/wherever.
Binge Eating Forum » Eating Accountability Journal
Mila's Journal
(26 posts)-
mila2012
MemberPosted 3 months ago # -
mila2012
MemberScale says i'm 10 stone 12 pounds today. Was/am delighted. Although....for some reason it gave me the incentive to "treat" myself with some junk food. Which should have been okay except...i ate 300 cals worth of cake. That's acceptable. But then add the 200 cal choc bar. Not good i guess. Really not good because right now i'm feeling the effects. I basically have a sore tummy now, damn. This is a major motivation for me to stop binging on sweets altogether. At least i didn't binge usual huge amount. Wish me luck with rest of next week
Posted 3 months ago # -
Lorri
MemberHi Mila,
I understand about bingeing when sad, happy, as a treat as my mood doesn't really affect whether I binge either.
Also congrats on your weight loss. However, 1000 cals isnt much to live on a day. Yes, it will help with losing weight for a bit but binges will still happen eating so little and the weight loss, i think, will stop. Why not up your intake to 1200 and use that 200 for a treat a day and then maybe the binges will stop.
Do you have days where you do not eat anything bad and then when you do you have a bit more of it?
Glad you have found something that takes your mind off of bingeing. What have you knitted so far?
Good luck in your journey!
Posted 3 months ago # -
wertza
MemberHi Mila!
That's awesome that you have already lost 7 lbs, congratulations!! And that's great that you've been exercising regularly, but I definitely agree with Lorri that it is probably a good idea to up your calories a bit and not restrict, because restriction can cause binges.
What I have been doing, which really helps, is eating small amounts several times a day, planning my food in advance so I am not overwhelmed with lots of foods when I encounter them, and treating myself by eating 9 healthy meals and making my tenth meal a treat. So basically, I eat 6 small meals a day, so I get a treat every other day. It's fun challenging myself to eat healthy for these meals leading up to my treat meal, and then when I actually get the treat I feel really proud of myself for working that hard to deserve it. Last night my treat meal was dinner at the Cheesecake Factory for my best friend's bday, and it was so worth it to eat healthy leading up to that meal and being able to eat whatever I felt like at dinner without feeling guilty about it.
Another good method is getting the junk food out of your house. If it's not accessible, you won't be able to eat it. Basically just make it hard on yourself to binge. An example is deciding that if you want to eat cake, then you have to go out and buy all of the materials to bake one from scratch, rather than just picking a premade one at the store. Do you really want it that bad that you are willing to spend that much time and money on making a cake? I think not.
Hope I was helpful! Good luck!
XOXO, Angel
Posted 3 months ago # -
livvv
MemberHey Mila,
Congrats on the weight loss! I think it's really important that you don't focus so much on the weight though and instead focus on listening to your body and stopping the bingeing. Don't deprive yourself, that way you shouldn't feel like you need a treat after you hit a goal! I'm not saying you shouldn't be proud though - you're doing great.
xx liv
Posted 3 months ago # -
mila2012
MemberThanks everyone for your comments. They really motivate me to keep trying!
Today I almost full on binged on food. The reason was lonliness and thinking about the future- the two biggest binge triggers for me. I got all panicky and sad...but then stopped myself. I'm proud of myself now. Instead I had a really big (healthy)dinner- this seemed to satisfy my hunger at the time(i was genuinely hungry this time). So for whatever reason i managed to stop myself this time. I think my motivation is to have a good week this week- a successful one. So I just got to keep thinking of that when all seems hard
Posted 3 months ago # -
wertza
MemberHi Mila,
That's awesome that you were able to stop and think before you binged, and that you were effective in stopping the binge! That is definitely a tough thing to do, so congrats on doing something very impressive!That is great motivation as well! Keep up the positive attitude and keep on trucking! You are doing amazing!
XOXO Angel
Posted 3 months ago # -
mila2012
MemberThanks for the support wertza
Today.....could have been bad. But so far isn't! Isn't as in i haven't yet eaten a calorific amount or had a take-a-way. It's weird because i really thought i would eat everything and anything in sight today, i truly had zero motivation. but for some reason i just didn't. I think i'm reminding myself just in time how much looking healthier means to me, the importance of a healthy lifestyle and me being happy. And today i KNEW i wouldn't be happy just giving in and eating the day away in junk. However what i did have was risky too.... I had 3 chocolate bars (600), toast (200) and 4 pancakes (each pancake 70 cals). And that's it so far. It's just enough not to go too overboard. Going for my daily walk now. I would love to continue this lifestyle for the rest of the week
Posted 3 months ago # -
mila2012
MemberHad cucumber for breakfast (very good), but then....i had a huge take-a-way. So dissapointed in myself. I had been so good too. But now all i feel is heavy and disgusting after the binge. I know why i gave in to junk food today-because i had a bad day, duh. Not good enough though. Have got to resist urge in future when feeling down. I can still redeem myself today! Did a 30 minute walk so that mst contribute something good. I'll just eat fruit for rest of my day (it's 2pm now).
Posted 3 months ago # -
livvv
MemberHi Mila!
Are you sure cucumber is enough for breakfast? Sometimes if I don't have enough for breakfast, especially enough protein, I end up overeating later. Don't punish yourself because you overate, just eat normally and listen to your body ok?
xx liv
Posted 3 months ago #
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