Binge Eating Forum

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Binge Eating Forum » Eating Accountability Journal

1. 

   LMVector
   Member

   Thought I'd move over from an introduction post (New member) to some sort of journal...

   Right, over the past 3 weeks I've been doing more binging than purging, I've been stressed out and having anxiety attacks about university, and eating to numb myself out. All my clothes feel really tight, I'm having way too much trouble with my jeans and this just cannot go on. I dont want to weigh myself because I know it'll be disastrous and the number on the scale will depress me.

   I know I'm supposed to eat properly to get rid of this eating disorder thing, but I want to fast. I hardly ate yesterday, and I need to feel good about myself in the next week (I have an important interview) so I need to feel thin so I need to diet. I dont plan on eating much today or tomorrow. Not til I feel my jeans like I used to and I can look in the mirror without feeling bad.

   Im going shopping today for clothes for my interview. If anything actually fits me.

   I want to not have to worry about this. When I try to overcome this ED I just put on weight and feel worse. At least before I felt okay with my body. I didnt think it was perfect but god I just feel really fat riht now. I cant stand this.

   Posted 1 month ago #
2. 

   specialk_sunnylee
   Member

   ok. it's good that you havent been purging that much, but this really isnt good... i dont wanna be in your way of the interview thing but if you fast like that , you know you'll start binging again sooner or later. i know you feel like you need to look good for your interview, but fasting is not gonna solve the problem at all.. i do feel like i need to look good for the upcoming christmas party and prom and everything but i know my binge eating will come back within a day if i try not to eat. im sure you know way- better than me but have some confidence and believe in yourself just because you dont fit in your jeans, that doesnt mean that you're gonna look terrible for your interview. im sure you can find a ton of cute clothes that fit you!

   Posted 1 month ago #
3. 

   LMVector
   Member

   I just had my first meal in days- I had a big salad with no dressing and some grilled chicken.

   I feel thinner (once again into my clothes), and empty.. It feels good. I hope I can keep up the self control. Only downside is I feel freezing all the time.

   Posted 1 month ago #
4. 

   LMVector
   Member

   Hi everyone,

   I haven't posted in ages cause I was out of the country for my college interviews and in the past week I've been alright.

   I keep cycling between dieting and binging. I need someone to keep accounts with, someone who I HAVE to email everyday. Anyone up for it?

   Posted 2 weeks ago #
5. 

   specialk_sunnylee
   Member

   i'd love to do it but im not sure if i'll be a big help.
   plus im a little young;
   if no one else volunteers & you're ok with me, you can email me;

   Posted 2 weeks ago #
6. 

   LMVector
   Member

   I'm a little young too

   I've added you on msn. If we don't catch each other before the end of the day I'll send you an email and we can start from there?

   Posted 2 weeks ago #
7. 

   specialk_sunnylee
   Member

   omg, you're 16!
   i was thinking you were older because of the way you talk lol

   anyway.
   my email = specialk_sunnylee@yahoo.com
   sm8257@hanmail.net is my korean email address and it doesnt always work lol

   Posted 2 weeks ago #
8. 

   LMVector
   Member

   Sunday, 21 December 2008

   Time Food Place Thoughts
   11am Apple, small coffee with soy milk Balcony I ate slowly and really tasted the freshness of the Apple. Completely satisfied.

   1pm Leftovers- (Small plate) Grilled vegetables with fish. Kitchen Enjoyable once again.

   3pm Small salad with smoked turkey. Kitchen More bored and curious than actually hungry.

   4pm-7pm Bread, nuts, turkey, Little bits of cake,other finger foods Party Didn’t really keep track. I guess I was bored and ate more tan I should have. Still, it was not a binge, justo ver indulgence.

   8pm Half an hallaca Party This is the venezuelan christmas dish, and we had all just cooked it together at the party, so although I wasn’t very hungry I still enjoyed half of one (they arent very big, just a taste)

   Time Exercise Thoughts
   10.20am Sit ups, other body weight exercises

   10.30-11.20am Run Overall a very enjoyable workout. I enjoyed pushing myself and feeling my body run around powerfully.

   8.30pm-9.45pm Alternate walk-light jogging I had been feeling down so I just went out to clear my head.

   How have I felt today?
   I’ve felt …just switched off. Kind of apathetic and joyless. Maybe I’m subconsciously nervous about college results or something. There was a big family party at home, and normally I would be right in there having a good time, but I just kept feeling out of place and going to my room til somebody noticed I was gone and came to get me.

   What have I learnt today?
   Nothing in particular I guess.

   Posted 2 weeks ago #
9. 

   jacquirsw1
   Member

   Maybe you wanted your family to notice something, it sounds as though you maybe wanted soemthing that you weren't getting from the situation. It is a funny time of year for most people and with things like waiting for college results and stuff like that it is going to be more stressful than usual.

   I hope that you have felt more settled today.

   Jacqui

   Posted 1 week ago #

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