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Started 9 months ago by Hope777
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Hope777
Member

yuck. I am feel so not happy about my body right now. I just feel bloated and fat :(. My boyfriend is having people over to swim and i dont even want to go. I am so unhappy right now and mad. I just want to be skinny and eat normal like normal people and not carry around this extra bloat!!!! I am so mad right now :twisted:! WHY ME! Sorry for such a downer post but i had to tell people who understand. Thanks

Posted 8 months ago #
alannah09
Member

Your definitely allowed a downer post...they are usually so positive and helpful you cant be that way all the time or youd go crazy! We all feel like that sometimes (maybe even often). I feel HUGE almost everytime I look in the mirror even though I know I am not. I usually just put a some floaty dress or something that I know is too big for me, and I feel better in no time. Or sometimes, I'll go for a run, or even just go do yoga or pushups or dance around for 15 mins and then I feel much better. Hopefully tomorrow is better!!

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Thanks Alannah I actually went to the pool yesterday and ended up feeling fine. The fact that i actually went i think is a big step for me and i didnt result to a binge. I ended up doing very well yesterday! I REALLY didnt feel like working out but i just cleared my head and started running without thinking about how much i didnt want to. i Felt 100x better afterwards. GOing to the pool was fun and i liked being around my friends. We were very active playing vollyball and such so after i got there i didnt feel so bloated. I missed lunch and dinner and didnt get home until about 8PM! We also drank a little during the day so you can imagine how hungry i was lol. In the past i would have eaten way too much, but i had my mom make me a big salad and a veggie burger and a little fruit. After my stomach felt full but my mouth wanted more. I decided to get out of the house and if i was still hungry later i could eat again. We went to my friends softball game. Needless to say i wasnt hungry later. I am glade that although i was feeling so down yesterday i got over it and went to the pool anyway and didnt use food as a crutch for feeling bad.

Posted 8 months ago #
Ash
Member

Wow that is so awesome that you have come so far with identifying your feelings and actions and what triggers your binge eating. I am trying to be more aware like you. I noticed in your earlier posts that you eat some foods like popcorn in a small amount. How do you do this without overeating? I am so afraid I will not be able to stop. I completely feel the same in a bathing suit: we are our worst critics. I love your honesty. I feel safe being honest for the fist time without judgement!

Posted 8 months ago #
alannah09
Member

Yay! haha I am so happy the running worked..the other thing about that is that I think its good you werent thinking about the running. I know when I am in that kind of mood it is better if I just go run...If I start with a goal of 3 miles or something I just get mad when I only run 2.5..I always feel like its better to just go. The late dinner the other night is also quite impressive. Missing meals is always the worst because you feel like you have extra cals left to use, but it shouldnt be about the cals, it should be about not doing the binge behavior (aka. stopping eating when your full). Its so great that you could do that!!

Posted 8 months ago #
alannah09
Member

I am hoping you are out late having a great time! I know when I stopped posting was when I started having problems and I wish someone would have posted to help. If your just having a fabulous night out though...then nice posting to ya and enjoy!

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hey Alannah! thanks for checking in I went out on the lake yesterday from 11 in the morning and didnt get home until about 10. It was weird not posting for a day haha but i was super tired once i got home! Also, i felt great in my bathing suit yesterday, such a change from a couple days ago. I think drinking a lot of water helps me to not feel so bloated. The only bad thing of having a lake day is that i dont get home until late that night so i go all day without eating. However, i think that since most days i am eating every three hours this dosnt effect me too much. Once i got off the boat i had a little pasta, apple, and chips. Then once i got home a couple hours later i had an organic oven pizza and some crackers. I think in the past i would have consumed much more than this, especially since i was drinking a bit. But once my stomach was full i just stopped like a normal person and went to sleep. I am not sure if i went over or under on my calories but i think one days not going to kill me. My friends wanted me to go out on the lake again today but i am kinda beat from yesterday and dont want to go another day of drinking and not eating lol. I think i might go to a friends pool for some relaxing swimming/ laying out though.

Posted 8 months ago #
alannah09
Member

Haha...well checking in for no reason is better than not checking in when you are having a bad time?? It sounds like you did quite well. Not eating all day can definitely be really difficult but its soooo good that you could stop when your full. I wish I had done that a little better at lunch today. Not a binge..I was just out to eat and had really oilly fajitas and now I am very full. Well Im glad it was a good day! and it is also kind of cool that you could stop even though you had no idea about your calories...it can be kinda difficult for me to stop when I dont know how many cals Ive eaten.

Posted 8 months ago #
alannah09
Member

Oh..btw. The nutrition calculator thing is kindaa online haha. You go to this website: http://spaz.ca/cronometer/ and then download the thing. Its really fast. It doesnt have everything in it but you can make up your own food so if you eat something not in it you can always just google what you ate and type it in yourself. I think its really cool. It helps me see what days I just hit my cal mark and what days im actually getting all the nutrition.

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hm so i just stopped myself mid-binge. I think i need to start being more aware of my emotional eating/emotions bc ive been slacking lately. Okay so i felt kind of guilty because i didn't go to my core class and went swimming w/ my friends instead. Well i felt guilty about not going out and ive kinda been feel yucky all day for some reason. Well after dinner i had some ice cream and chocolate and finished up my calories for the day. Except i still felt like i wanted more, i think this is bc i didn't feel like going out and boyfriend stuff. So i put some chips in a plastic baggy and went outside to read my book. My dog kept bothering my cat (lol) so i kept being distracted from reading. I put my dog inside and decided to have a little cereal. Then i kinda had the thinking ugh i overate on my calories might as well make a tortilla with cheese. This is where i kinda stopped and talked to myself. I said i could eat this if i ate it really slowly and thought about each bite. Thats what i did and after about 3 bites i decided it was silly of me to be eating when i wasn't hungry and threw the rest away. I think just the stress of overeating/ feeling like i didn't workout enough/ not going out with my friends led to this. I am glade i was able to stop though (this could have went on all night) soooo guess i would call this a binge, maybe just a little emotional eating. Ether way i am glad i could some here and sort it out. I just brushed my teeth and got ready for bed so i know i am safe for the night.

Posted 8 months ago #
Emma
Member

Great job with stopping the binge! That's SO hard to do and it proves you've made a lot of progress... also good for you for hanging out with friends and going out instead of being trapped by food. You're doing really well so don't get down on yourself for the "halfway binge." Now that you've been reminded bingeing is actually not worth it you'll probably be less tempted to go down the same path in the future. Keep posting, it's really good to hear from someone who's doing as well as you

Posted 8 months ago #
Emma
Member

Great job with stopping the binge! That's SO hard to do and it proves you've made a lot of progress... also good for you for hanging out with friends and going out instead of being trapped by food. You're doing really well so don't get down on yourself for the "halfway binge." Now that you've been reminded bingeing is actually not worth it you'll probably be less tempted to go down the same path in the future. Keep posting, it's really good to hear from someone who's doing as well as you

Posted 8 months ago #
Emma
Member

oops...sorry to double post =/

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Thanks Emma!

So last night after i stopped the binge i decided to go out with my friends. They were having a party and i decided i would just go and not drink. Some of my friends have some bad eating habits. Yesterday after we got done working out i said i was super hungry for dinner. My friend responded by saying, "i dont think i am going to eat dinner tonight". I thought it was kind of weird but my friends dont usually eat much during the day or eat very little. Anyways later that night they started eating breadsticks. I wasnt hungry at all and wasnt even temped to have any. Then they begged me to take them to a sub shop where they got a large meal. I again wasnt tempted to get anything. The moral of the story being, when you just eat regular healthy meals you eat less in the end. I know that i probably ate less calories than them yesterday because of all the drinking and late night eating they were doing. By eating regular meals every three hours and i wasnt tempted to eat all that late night food.

Posted 8 months ago #
alannah09
Member

That's so great, and really good to hear after the night I had last night. I love that you ate when you were hungry and by knowing you had a healthy meal, you weren't tempted to eat anything you knew you didn't want. I think it is also amazing that you stopped that little binge and still went out. That is a huge problem with me that once I start, then I feel gross and don't go out, but then I just stay home and eat even more. I know it sounds silly, but it is really kinda inspiring to hear that. I am leaving for europe in a few days and I hope I will just be eating regular meals there (since we will always be out to eat and probably wont be doing much partying since I am going with my family)..maybe some wine with dinner or something, but nothing drastic haha. I am hoping I will get used to regular meals during the 10 days I am there and then be ready to eat them when I get back, and hopefully start having nights like the one you had! That sounds great...minus the seemingly slightly drunk and therefore slightly annoying friends haha. I am sure they are great friends though..everyone's a little annoying drunk!

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hey everyone. So i tried something new yesterday. I kept craving tortillas and cheese and the other night & almost binged on it. So i had it as a meal and my cravings for it went away. Not to mention it was really yummy when i actually enjoyed it lol.

I am starting to feel like i didt before i had any kind of eating disorder( back to my good old self). I am going out with my friends more and just going with the flow, not worrying that i am going to eat too much or something. Last night i went out to eat and just had a normal meal and didn't feel bad about it. Later in the night we ended up drinking a little (it was my friends 21st birthday), so overall i dont really know how many calories i had but i had a decently healthy meal and didn't overdue my drinking so it was all okay:)! In the past if i wouldn't have counted my calories i would have been super stressed out today and probably end up bingeing. I always used to binge the day after i drank. I went out to a bagel shop this morning with my friends.( In the past i would never allow myself to have a bagel with cream cheese.) After i went home the thought crossed my mind to keep eating. I recognized this as a silly thought and told myself i could eat again in three hours. I decided to go work out. I felt really good after. It just so different now because i know in the past today would be a day where i would just binge but it wasn't :), i feel like i am making much progress.

Still not 100% happy with my body but i am getting better. Even when i do feel fat in my swim suit or something i still make myself go out and i think this helps me accept my body more. yay! And i know i am still loosing slowly

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Yesterday was a great day, it was a day that in the past would have been a binge day, especially because i was hungover and started out with not the healthiest breakfast. I am glade that it dosnt have to resort to that anymore. I still get cravings after dinner time. Its like if i have any calories left over after dinner its a free fall and i can eat whenever to finish them even if its not three hours later and even if i am not hungry. I think today i am going to try hard to just eat three hours later.

I am starting to see more definition in my stomach so yay :). I like having a healthy body even if i am not stick thin. It is worth it to not b bloated and sick from the "Binge hangover".

I just hope i can keep this up during the school year. I get so stressed out going away to school. I am going to try to start out with a healthy lifestyle right when i get there and continue it throughout the year. I found last year living in a sorority i got very stressed out being around people all the time. I also kinda had to stick to the meals, they made and the times they served it. I ended up bingeing on snack foods in my room and stuff bc i wouldn't want the food they served. This year i am just going to try to have a little bit of it. Hm, its a long time away but its on my mind.

Posted 8 months ago #
stay at home mom
Member

Hi Hope: glad to hear you are doing and feeling well. I think it will be a good habit to use your remaining calories 2-3 hours post-supper because this is probably how you'll eat when you return to school...studying, doing papers, or socializing at night, you'll probably need to eat again after supper.
Helen

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Thats a wonderful point Helen thanks!

Last night i successfully ate every three hours. After dinner i still felt like i wanted more so i had some greek yogurt and that really filled me up. The i distracted myself and went on a bikeride. It was easy to distract myself after that. I denfently like the eating three hours and not finishing all my calories right after dinner, i dont get to so tired this way. I am going to continue doing this. The key is to do something right after my meal so my brain isnt thinking about food anymore.

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hello! So i had an interesting day yesterday. I got home from my friends around 11 and my dad asked me to go on a bikeride. I always feel bad turing my dad down on something but i actually did! I was tired and hungry and really didnt feel like going on one right that moment. I take this as a step as not being so hard on myself and not having to please everyone.

Later that day i went to a go-cart place with my boyfriend and his family. We went around 6 and didnt get done until 11. We went out to eat afterwards at steak n shake. Since i am a vegetarian the only thing i saw on the menu was a grilled cheese. I got that with a side salad. Then his cousin offered me her milkshake (she had a coupon) so i got a vanilla one. I had about 1000 calories left for the day and i think i went over by about 400. I think i burned some extra calories as the go cart place though so i am not too worried about it. What is most important is that i didnt binge at all! yay!I just ate my meal and went on with my life, i didnt even feel guilty. WHen i got home that night i just went to bed. In the past i would have only used steak n shake as a binge place. I would order a salad if i was really eating there. What i found is that the grilled cheese isnt really that great haha but the milkshake was yummy. I was also SUPER hungry this morning even though i went over my calories a little. This may be because of all of the carbs though. Anyways i am so proud of myself :).

Posted 8 months ago #
alannah09
Member

Hey...so I ended up finding internet in Paris and thought I would see how you were doing. It sounds like you are still doing sooo well. Meals that you see as unhealthy or a little out of control definitely can be the start of disaster so it is so great that you could control it. i know if i got home from something like that it would be hard for me to just tell myself to go to bed and not keep eating so great job!! It is also important that you could let yourself have just some unhealthy food and not end up going crazy :).

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Yesterday was a pretty steady day overall. I still sometimes have the urge to eat more after meals. Yesterday this urge hit and i decided i wanted to go on a bikeride. At first i contemplated getting everything ready, getting dressed, and going but then i just shut off my brain and no questions asked went on one. It was a BEAUTIFUL day and i am SO happy i went. Sometimes we just have to go for things we know are right and stop questioning them.
It was my friends birthday party last night so she had some people over. I drank a little bit but didnt overdue it. After my boyfriend wanted food so we went and got some for him. I decided i wasnt really hungry and didnt have anything. I am a bit sleepy today from staying out late yesterday so we will see how today goes.

Posted 8 months ago #
stay at home mom
Member

HI Hope: I still experience that urge to eat more even though I don't binge anymore. I think a week or so before your period, your body is trying to get slightly more calories (the hormone progesterone does increase appetite); if you decide you don't want to give in, then it does seems like more of a struggle to stop at the usual amount of supper. But if you're determined to stop where you stop, at least you know you could have a snack later.
Helen

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hey Helen, that must be it, i have been experiencing other pre-period symptoms like bloating and being kinda moody haha so lets hope that thats what it is. Question: does anyone know how to get rid of bloating before your period i try to drink alot of water and work out but that dosnt always seem to do the trick.

Yesterday i went to my boyfriends house about an hour after breakfast. He kept asking me if i wanted anything for lunch, which i kinda did but i wasn't really hungry, i decided against it which was the right choice. I went out to eat with my mom later to Panera bread. They had all of the calories listed by the item. Instead of my 300 calories sandwich and 120 calorie soup i got a 90 calorie salad and a 70 calorie soup. I am not so proud of this because i think i would have been more satisfied with at least one of the higher calorie choices, plus the salad wasn't really that good. It was those dang low calories that tricked my brain into picking them lol.

I was kind of hung-over all day which is odd because i didn't drink that much. Usually when i am hung-over i binge, but today i didnt at all :). I didnt really feel like working out my usual so i went for a lite workout instead (happy that i didnt any sort yesterday).

Posted 8 months ago #
stay at home mom
Member

Hi hope: evening primrose oil (health food shops carry it, maybe pharmacies too) is known to be helpful for pms like bloating and depressive mood. I've never tried it...I just put up with pms by wearing looser clothes.

Helen

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

So i decided that i am going to try to figure out what i am feeling more emotional wise because although i am not bingeing anymore sometimes i still eat a little for other reasons. Yesterday about an hour after lunch i was still hungry so i had a grapefruit and some yogurt. This filled me u and i had dinner an hour and a half later (after work). During dinner i noticed myself snacking alot while i was preparing it. I thought about some reasons for wanting to snack so much and a couple came to my mind. Perhaps wanting to unwind after work? Or maybe bc i was having trouble deciding what i wanted for dinner? Then it hit me why i was feeling so down all day. Earlier that day i went to go try on clothes to get some new jeans and had to go up a whole pant size from last year :(. This really made me sad & i almost started crying in the dressing room. This was defiantly the reason i was feeling so bad and wanting to eat/ snack while preparing my meal. Well anyways after dinner i went on a bike-ride with my mom and i felt better plus it was beautiful outside. It always takes myself a little convincing to go but after i go its well worth it.

Anyways, i was feeling pretty down yesterday and decided just to go to bed early & i woke up today feeling great so thats a plus & at least i didn't binge!

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Wow do i ever feel great. Just got done with an hour and a half mountain bike-ride with my dad. Ive been on these kind of bike-rides before the only difference is that this time i had energy to do it! I felt so strong, and amazing!

Stuck to eating about every three hours yesterday and pretty busy the whole day. Also did better on not snacking when preparing my meals. I got a craving around 9:00, i had not finished my calories for the day but i didnt want to wait the full three hours because i would be eating at 11. I waited until 10 just to test myself and make sure i didnt have to give in right away. Good day overall.

Enjoy your 4th everyone!

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hello all,
Feeling quite awful today. Its the start of my monthly cycle and I always feel very depressed at the begining. My boyfriend and i got in a big fight yesterday. I always just feel so put down by him, like all he does is point out my flaws (shouldnt he just love me for who i am).The other night he even tried to convince me that guys were smater than girls! It just made me so mad. I am also a very incecure person so this could add to our problems. I feel like he never shows affection anymore or even loves me. We were at a wedding yesterday when we got into it, the bride and groom looked so in love,and it just made me think that we will never be that way. I could never see us happy like them. I told him maybe just breaking up would be a good idea,but he didnt want to do that and appologized for everything. Sometimes i just want to break up but i really dont feel stronge enough to be by myself. Last time we broke up i was so depressed and binged alot. Ever since last night i have been pretty upset. The only good part is that i actually feel upset and i am not eating it away. I actually cried on my way to work today ( i used to not be able to cry, i am not sure why but probably had something to do with my eating disorder). To top it off one of my friends sent me some pictures and i feel like i look like a huge beast in all of them. I dont know why but i just really wish i was skinnier, i just feel like everything would be easier and i dont know why:(. The only good part is that i am not bingeing, i am very greatful for this. It almost feels good to actually just be sad (weird i know). Anyways sorry for such a downer post i just need to get it out.Any feedback on the subject would be appreciated. Thanks everyone.

Posted 8 months ago #
jacquirsw1
Member

It is really positive that you are begining to actually let yourself feel those emotions.
Yes they are crap but it is brilliant that you have not eaten them away.

Only you can really say what needs to happen about the rest. I know it is a difficult position. I was engage to someone many years ago for nearly 4 years, and it took alot for me to work up the courage to leave it. I had no self esteem and thought I deserved not having a 'proper' loving relationship.
To this day I am still not sure what changed but I just decided I couldn't do it any longer and split.
Now I am not saying this is what you should do, but you need to really htink about what is best for you.
My advice is if you do split then even though you might think you will never manage the reality is you will get through it.

Jacqui

Posted 8 months ago #
stay at home mom
Member

Hi Hope: I second what Jacqui says.
Once auntie flow comes and goes, you'll feel a lot lighter.
I know what you mean about thinking you'll feel better when you are thinner. However, like you mentioned earlier, you still did not feel much happier last year in a thinner body. Nonetheless, it's still nice to accomplish a goal and it really sounds like you're getting there.
It's really odd but as I thin out, I become even more critical that there's still a pocket of fat here and there. I think what happens to me is that I'm comparing my body to the models in magazines who have not eaten a meal before the shoot, and are not sitting down so there's no belly skin bunching up around the middle. We all look leaner standing up.
Helen

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hey guys thanks for all the support, i really needed it yesterday my emotions were out of whack! Needless today something amazing is happening. I am not thinking about food all of the time. Yesterday after my very emotional day i decided to go on a run, i felt better after but still irritated at everything (haha). after the run i got things together to go to on my vacation and totally forgot about eating. I mean usually i kinda always think about eating every 3 hours but yesterday it just wasn't a big deal. I didn't even count calories i just ate when i was hungry. I also wasn't very hungry yesterday because i was feeling low and i think those emotions might have canceled out my hunger or something. Later i enjoyed some fire works with the boyfriend and we had a great time, we are both working on be better to each-other. I woke up today feeling great, a very stressful/ emotional day without a binge yippee! All i can say to those who are struggling out there is to just keep doing the next right thing. Even if you do have a slip up and binge, dont restrict have your next normal meal. teach your body that it can have food whenever not just when your bingeing. Eventually it will get easier i promise :). Dont be so hard on yourself and take little steps to getting better :).

PS- i am now on vacation visiting my sister and her husband, they are anything but healthy eaters and eat out almost every meal. I am just going to enjoy myself and try to listen as best as i can to when my body is full.

Thanks again for the support guys, you really helped me get through a tough day!

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Pretty steady day yesterday. My sister dosnt have much food at her house so i think i actually ate way under calories yesterday :?. They are at work most of the day so i am here to cook for myself. We had a biggish dinner though so it wasnt too bad. We also had a huge dinner the day before with lots of courses and desert and stuff so it probably evens out. I am going to be pretty soft on counting calories when i am on vacation.

Posted 8 months ago #
stay at home mom
Member

Hi Hope: it sounds like you're enjoying seeing your sis and bro-in-law. I found that it is quite easy while travelling for the body to adapt to eating fewer larger meals and a small snack or two...without it leading to overeating. Then after returning home, it went back to the other routine. So I think we can sustain more than one kind of eating routine as needed.
Helen

Posted 8 months ago #
alannah09
Member

hey! it sounds like you are doing great. As long as it doesn't throw you off track, eating below your cals one day shouldn't matter. It is bad after a while but sometimes you actually feel sort of cleaned if you eat way to little one day. Don't make a habit out of it or let it lead to a binge the next day though of course! Sounds like you are doing well though, especially considering your sisters eating habits. One thing I think is actually kind of interesting is that sometimes when I am places whree everyone around me overeats or just eats unhealthy as a way of life, it kind of grosses me out to the point where I really want to stick to eating healthy. Maybe thats just me though!

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hey guys! Everything been going well on vacation except for the fact that i've been under-eating. We are usually out all day and dont really get to eat then once we get home we are suppost to have a big meal but i still am eating under calories. It dosnt feel good eating this way and i am thinking about food more and want to eat way more at meal times. Today i am really going to try and eat more though and bring some snacks and such with me where we go. This just goes to show how much undereating dosnt help your body!

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

I ate better yesterday and i made sure to eat something before we went out to do our activity for the night bc i knew i wouldnt have the chance to eat. Eating when i am hungry and stopping eating when i am not hungry has just gotten so much easier and i belive it is from eating the right amount of calories and always eating a little of what i crave into my meals. It is so much easier to not binge or give into cravings when you are sufficiently satisfied. An example of this came up this morning. Last night i drank a little more than i would have liked to and i wasn't feeling the best this morning/ kinda was embarrassed that i drank alot. So i was feeling down/ embarrassed/ sick. I was making myself some breakfast and had the perfect opportunity to binge or eat some massive food while everyone else was still sleeping. The thought crossed my mind to eat some junk food but i was able to think logically and just eat my normal food. This is such a big step up for me because i know in the past i would have binged. I can just look at the situation differently now and realize that bingeing is not going to help me in any way and that i will be 100 times happier if i just eat normally. With a little practice of this it gets easier and easier. I feel like today was kind of a challenge to keep me in check and show myself that i am not always going to be feeling strong and good when a binge hits and that even when i am weak no matter what happens(even if i get drunk and act like a total fool) i dont need to punish myself with food EVER. I still have the rest of the day but so far so good.

Posted 8 months ago #
alannah09
Member

I am so proud of you! I know exactly the feeling you are talking about and it is always so temping to just wake up and start eating when your stomach feels weird like that. It is so great that you could tell yourself not to do it. I think it is also really good that you are starting to stop when your full. I think that that is really the hardest part for me. Even on good days, I tend to eat what I serve myself, even past the point where I am full so that is so good that you are starting to be able to stop yourself. It is also really good to hear that you are actually able to stop your cravings. I had a appt. with my nutritionist the other day and when she asked how things were going I actually said A LOT better than before and it is mostly because of this girl that actually pays attention to my posts and has really helpful ideas and is doing really well herself! Just thought I would let ya know that its great you can get through tough stuff and people are paying attention and care! haha...hope your enjoying your trip!

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hey Alannah--i am really happy we can help each-other through this, i never thought this would actually work but writing how i feel and getting feedback is just amazing!

I really think i am starting to stop when i am full and listen to my bodies signals. since i am on vacation i cant really keep track of the calories i am eating but i know i am getting around enough (although somedays i go a little under but i am working on that, i am just SO busy during the day lol). It gets easier to know how much to eat after a while of eating normally on a daily basis.

Yesterday we went to an amusement park. I had an egg-white omelet, oatmeal, and hot chocolate before we left. Later in the day we went and got food but there was no vegetarian options gr. ( i thought at least there would be pizza or grilled cheese) so i got some french fries. Later on the way home we got some ice cream. Than once i got home i had a little cereal and grapefruit. It defiantly was not a healthy day but i didnt feel guilty at all and i didnt overdue it! I think having some days of this type of food is good for you and really helps me with my cravings.

Posted 8 months ago #
piggypie
Member

It seems like you are doing a great job while on vacation. When I go on a trip, I tend to either 1.) pack my own food - Granola bars or little baggies of stuff, anything I can take that's easy to have on the go and won't spoil or 2.) Not eat. So I think that it's fantastic that you are doing well (:

I think having "junk" food is good sometimes too. It's really hard for me because the moment I have something that I once considered "forbidden", my brain goes crazy and I can't stop. I hope one day I can have french fries or ice cream and not feel guilty either. But I am glad you are doing well! (: It inspires me!

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hey everyone! So yesterday went pretty well. I ate about every 3 hours and packed some extra snacks so i wouldn't be under-eating. For dinner my sister cooked spaghetti it was SO good! It was funny because that old restrictive eating popped into my mind again when i saw the garlic bread. My mind said--"oh, you cant have that" then reality popped in and said--"why not one peace will satisfy my cravings so i wont want to eat 1000 peaces sometime later". So i had one and some spaghetti and a little salad and after a plate i was full and satisfied. :). I noticed that when i ate under calories the last couple days i thought about food alot more. WHen i eat normally i almost never think about food anymore.
Another little thing i noticed is that i become very emotional around my period. So this time i started a separate journal and just wrote about everything in my life that was upsetting me. After figuring out the problem i tried to think of a solution. Most of the time it was just listening to sad song and letting myself cry, and i would feel alot better afterwards. Sometimes i think we hide our emotional which may lead to emotional eating.

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hello,
Well i am still on vacation and last night was my first uneventful night. I found that when i am board the need to eat comes on strong. So after we finished dinner i was super board and my brain was telling me to go eat something else, but my stomach was full and didnt need anymore. I said to myself i can stick it out for 3 hours. We went on a walk and then came home and watched TV. We were watching baseball and i really wasnt into it which was making my need to snack greater. However, i just kept trying to keep my mind off it everyway i could, getting online, journaling, playing games on my phone, talking on the phone and by the time 3 hours passed i was physically hungry again so i had a snack. Then after that i was satisfied and went over to a friends house where i did not think about food at all. I really havnt had that sort of craving in a while so i was really happy that i could overcome it. My binges are not ruling me anymore. This just goes to show that no matter how well you are doing it is so important to check in with yourself everyday and know the tactics to beat a binge. I knew that because i was craving food so much for the wrong reasons i didnt want to be stressed out or around food so i tried as best i could to do other things and waited out those three hours.

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hello all, My parents joined me on my vacation today which added some extra stress. For some reason my parents really just stress me out as well as just being around people all of the time. So i was feeling super stressed out this afternoon and HAD to do something about it. I went up to my room, turned on the fan and did some breathing exercises for 45 min/ kind of feel asleep. I felt alot better after but was super hungry because i had a smaller lunch. I went downstairs to have dinner and ate quit a bit. My stomach felt quit full. I am happy i was able to stop but i kind of had the urge to just keep going. I think alot of it has to do with just being around ppl 24/7 and my parents stressing me out. I feel quit full now but we are about to go golfing so the walk should work. a plus is that we went shopping today and i noticed i have lost weight when trying on clothes. so yay to that. Anyways i just felt kind of guilty about overeating a bit but i know thats normal. At least i didnt reach for food right away when i was stressed out.

Posted 8 months ago #
stay at home mom
Member

HI Hope: that's great when we can defer eating as a response to stressful thoughts and feelings. I also wake up hungrier if I get to have an afternoon nap...but I figure the extra food I eat at supper that day is because I missed my afternoon tea. I'm glad to hear you are seeing the good physical results from eating normally.
Helen

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hey! So i was fine yesterday i think my stomach had just shrank a little from eating smaller meals every three hours that i was not used to having 3 larger meals without snacks so thats why my stomach felt so full. After a little golf i was back to normal and was hungry 3 hours later, so i must have not over eaten too much. Everything is going well today eating every three hours and tonight we are having a big meal with the whole family. My vacation ends tomorrow so back home again

Posted 8 months ago #
alannah09
Member

Hey! Sorry I havent been around much. It sounds like you are doing quite well. I am trying to stick to a very repitive routine and that is really working for me and nothing else will so it is great that you can vary how you eat each day and still not overeat. Vacation is always really difficult too so I think you are doing great.
p.s. It is always nice to go shopping and realize you have gotten a little smaller! great job doing it the healthy way!

Posted 8 months ago #
icecreamjunkie
Member

hey hope i was wondering how long it took for you to stop binging?
it sounds like you are doing great, i am definitely envious!! i hope soon i can report good progress as you have

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hey IceCream- I guess it took me a couple weeks to really stop binge eating everyday. I used to be too thin and would exercise like crazy and eat around 1200-1700 daily. I thought i was eating enough but was not,this caused to binge eat and then i learned to eat when i was feeling sad/depressed/mad/ect. I finally decided i needed to stopand thats when i found this forum. I realized that by not eating enought or eating enough fat/ things i really wannted i was causing myself to binge on them. I would only allow myself to have the things i really wanted when i was bingeing. So for about 2 weeks i decided to let myself have whatever i wanted whenever and however much i wanted. For those two weeks i didnt binge. I did however eat until i was past full alot of the time but i did not binge.After a while i found myself not really craving those foods anymore (my body knew it could have them). When i realized that i felt better when i was not totally full i started counting my calories (around 1900-2000) a day and eating around every 3 hours of things i actually wanted. I realized i actually do like to eat healthy most of the time. ie-wheat bread, veggie burgers, bakedchips, fruits,ect. I also changed my eating habits (eating only at the table, ect). But when i do crave something i eat it (like icecream). Once my body was properly nurished it was much more easier to pin point my cravings and write about them and figure out while i really wanted food. Thats not to say i still dont get cravings or overeat occasonally but dosnt everyone, (even people who dont have any sort of eating disorder?) Now i am finding that i am slowly loosing the weight from binging and feeling much more nomale around food. Sometimes i still have to stop myself from the restrictive thinking(ex: i cant have that,its to fattning and reframe my thinking to if i allow myself to have this i wont binge on it sometime later). Now i am kind of getting to the point where i dont really have to count calories all the time, i eat more on some days than others. I feel that i am just getting to a point where i know what my body needs. Hope this helps!!

I returned home from my vacation yesterday and i am feeling a bit down today. I miss my sister and had so much fun. Change has always been something rfor me to deal with. We had party the night before i left and i drank, the next morning i woke feeling hungover and tired. Whenever ifeel this way i crave food. However, i maganed to have my normal breakfast and then go for a run. I felt much better after and didnt eat for comfort all day! After i got home last night i had a big dinner and felt full (i was way under calories for the day so it was okay but i just dont like feeling too stuffed) I woke up with my stomach growling so it was okay but i am glad to get back to my eating every three hours so i dont feel too full. Overall, just feeling a little depressed today. I have these types of days every now and again and i am just learning to deal with them without turning to food. I also didnt get to workout before work today so now i have to do it after which is kind of a pain but i am learning to deal with it. I can really see my body starting to change and i cant help but be pleased. however when i used to get thinner in the past it caused me to eat less so now i am really trying to stick to eating all of my calories.

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

hm, well i have REALLY been craving food tonight. Can hardly stop thinking about it. When i was on vacation i was NEVER thinking about it and often unintentionally under-ate. I wonder if the under-eating has triggered this NEED for food again. Anyways i came here to journal instead of binge. These cravings could also could be because i haunt seen my friends since i got home and i feel guilty or anxious like i should see them (cant help but feel this way). Anyways i just tried to fill the rest of my calories with filling food (cereal, hot chocolate,grapefruit,and a cinnamon roll). ugh-i am sick of having wanting food to not feel my emotions but i am happy they are getting better, just a little discouraging, wish i could stay on vacation forever lol.

Posted 7 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hello..so i got through the night without bingeing or eating anything else. However, my boyfriend and i are really going downhill in our relationship. I think i know inside that we are not right for eachother but we have been together for 4 years and i can not picture myself without him. I am really scared to be without him. I like him and hate him all at the same time. This is putting major stress on me and making me depressed. If we do break up this will be a major thing in my life and will probably really want to binge. ugh--i just feel lost right now. However, i made it through lastnight without overeating so hopefully i can just continue even if something bad does happen.

Posted 7 months ago #
stay at home mom
Member

HI Hope: you're doing so well foodwise and thinkingwise
So many couples end up divorced because they haven't done the honest emotional assessment that you are doing. Even if you end up breaking up now, you never know if 5 years from now both of you will be different people who might fall in love again. It's depressing to have any close relationship come to an end...and it's liberating at the same time because if you meet another interesting man/men when you go back to school, atleast you won't be unfaithful if you want to date that man/men.
Take care,
Helen

Posted 7 months ago #

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