Tips to stop binge eating, stop overeating, stop emotional eating, stop eating fast food, stop eating junk food
March 17, 2011 at 2:07 am #3263
I’m gonna be honest here, I’m not overweight. a lot of people are going through more than me, and for a lot longer than I have. but there’s a beginning to everything, and I want to end this bs before it really gets started.
So, I’m 17. Last summer me and my friends discovered colt 45, which if you dont know, is a really cheap, really strong beer. Convenient for teenagers. So every weekend me and my friends would drink one or 2 colts, and get either poutine or big macs (without the meat, cause were vegetarians…trust me, theyre delicious without the meat, and like half the calories). So after about a month of this, not exercising, and on top of that smoking weed and getting the munchies, i gained 5 pounds. Now realistically this isn’t that much. regardless, I was getting too big to fit into my clothes. so i had to start dieting. I struggled with staying under 1,500 calories most days. it was so hard not to eat junk food, because we always had it in the house. (my parents are overweight and extrememly unhealthy, and insist on keeping junk in the house.) but eventuallly i did it, well, kind of. I lost about 3 or 4 pounds. but it wasnt fast enough, and after one particularly horrible day of eating like 5 cups of yogurt covered raisins, a donut and some christmas candy corn, i went down to 300 cals the next day. and it was surprisingly easy. i was just so angry at myself that i had the willpower to do it. it was supposed to be one day, but it turned into 2 months almost.
before i had found it a painful struggle to stay under 1500…now i was finding it hard to get UP to 500. I told myself I would never go below 1000 at one point….some days i wasnt eating anything at all. and I liked it. I still thought about food all the time, and i was depressed, but not eating became a much bigger reward than eating. i beat myself up SO much for overeating in the past that when i ate one egg white i would think to myself “im such a fatass.”
i guess the body can get used to anything.
anyways, on top of this i was exercising every day, and i looked really good. call me shallow but i was very pleased with myself and i felt like the deprivation had really paid off. i looked good in everything. the clothes that were too small for me a few months ago were literally falling off me.
then one day i found a bag of m&ms in my cupboard, along with half a jar of peanut butter. no one was around. i took the m&ms. i poured them in the jar of peanut butter. mixed them with a spoon. and omnomnom
the next day i restricted myself, kept doing that for a week, and everything was fine, until they had free cake at school, and i took the biggest piece.
and i got home and i ate even more.
stuff i didnt even want.
then i tried the raw food diet, for a week, and i felt the best i have ever felt in my life, really.
i had so much energy, was ALWAYS in a good mood, brain fog cleared up in 2 days, any digestive discomfort cleared up the first day. i just felt very good.
then my mom made chocolate cake. just for kicks and giggles i guess.
i ate a lot, and did not stop eating for the last four weeks.
i just ate 3/4 of a pizza.
im lactose intolerant.
you do not know how much pain my stomach is in.
yet, im still thinking about eating more pizza.
its like i have a disease.
like theres some food demon that is taking over my head.
every. single. day. for the past 3 or 4 weeks i have eaten 2000 to over 3000 calories.
that might be normal depending on your size, but im 5’1 and have a very small frame.
i gained 15 pounds in the last 3 weeks.
i have had many suicidal thoughts (oh i also have a history of suicidal thoughts..) and cut myself a number of times because of this. and stayed up all night crying trying to make myself throw up, but cant.
i actually forget how to throw up. i havent done it in so long.
i literally hate myself right now and i dont know what to do
i tried calming myself down and telling myself its ok, forgiving myself. saying i can start over, its alright, everyone messes up. telling myself i am not going to diet. eating normally the next day as if nothing had happened. and i still binge later on. its not even always at night, sometimes i binge during the day. sometimes first thing in the morning.
its always food that i know gives me severe indigestion aswell and i skip school sometimes because of it.
i dont know what to do
my parents will not sacrifice their diet for mine. they want to eat that kind of food, and theyll just laugh at me and say “well why dont you just stop eating” if i tried to talk to them about it….March 17, 2011 at 2:14 am #78162
i’m sorry to hear about what a struggle you’ve been having . i just started posting on this site, and it seems like a lot of people here are in the same position. even just knowing that others understand and relate helps me, even though my eating is still very out of control.
you will get through this. you don’t deserve to be hated by anyone, especially yourself. the fact that you’re trying to get this sorted out so young is really admirable, and it will make your life soo much better in the long run.
*hugs* i hope you feel better soon.
-mayMarch 17, 2011 at 4:42 am #78163
Hi Kazk, welcome to the forum. We’re all in the same boat here, a lot of us have gone through or are currently going through the exact same patterns of restriction and binging as you are. Good on you for addressing this as quickly as you have, as you noticed many people wait years and years before they talk to anyone at all or face the problems, and by then the patterns are very deeply ingrained habits.
It is going to be okay and you can start over and get through this. Have thought about going to talk to a professional counselor? I’d strongly suggest it.
I hope you are going to feel better soon.
DeedeeMarch 17, 2011 at 4:50 am #78164
hey kazk, i’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling. it seems like many people start with that moment of sudden self-awareness and then plunge headlong into a series of different eating disorders.
you can get through this, do whatever it takes to get help. professional help would be advisable as a treatment team would be around to support you in all aspects of recovery, but we here can only give you tips and a listening ear. keep posting, and good luck!
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