Liz's positivity Journal :) « Binge Eating Forum

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Liz's positivity Journal :)

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Started 5 months ago by Hope777
Latest reply from Louise

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Hope777
Member

Hello everyone!
Being home alone this week has helped me take a good look at the way i am living. I have notice that I have a pretty negative attitude towards the events that happen in my life! Now that i think I am a point in my life where i can manage without bingeing, i would like to focus on having a more fulfilling life. So this is my new journal where I am going to look at my life through a positive lens, and try to bring good events into it. It might not focus so much on food (since i am trying to gear away from obsessing about it) but on loving my self and creating a positive life.. I hope you all dont mind since I am sure I will still have issues with emotional eating and such. I just want to stay on this forum because you all have helped me so much and i love commenting on other journals. So its up to you..if you dont want to read my journals no pressure because the overall subjects will most of the time not be geared towards food but on accepting myself I mostly just want to have a place where i can write down my thoughts

Where did this stem from you might ask?
Alright so after an interesting week where i pretty much felt like crap about myself I had a very interesting track practice. Things were just not going my way. I left feeling on edge and totally depressed. I came home and saw a book on my shelf by Kathy Freston called, Quantum Wellness. She was on Oprah a couple years back and basically introduced her book as a way to create a positive life for yourself. I read it last year when i was in the depths on my eating disorder and it really helped me to be more optimistic and sort things out.

Since it it a BEAUTIFUL day, (sunny 70 degrees) and i had NOTHING to do. I went and sat in the park under a nicce biiig tree. I read for a little while and got some insight. She talks about visualization and if you think about how you want your life to be, you will subcounsiouly lead yourself to it. So0o0o0o0o..here is what i what i am going to start visualizing:

~ Loving life with positive energy pouring out of me
~Strong body that is healthy and functions properly
~Eating good healthy foods that fuils my body,& not resisting hunger
~ Finding a deep love with a partner who DEEPLY in love with me
~Living a life that is not based on material things, being in touch with nature
~Loving myself and not comparing myself to others..
~not being scared to be myself.. people will ether like me or think im crazy OH WELL!

okay guys so i have totally 180 from this afternoon and feel 10000 times better. In fact I cant wait to start living my life! I already have a very positive outlook for my track practice tomorrow

Posted 5 months ago #
jent
Member

Yessssssssssssss! I love this. I love everything about it...you are turning the corner to a world of love and opportunity. Nothing can stop you lovely liz. Go!

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Oh Lizzie THIS IS AWESOME!! I'm so happy you have come to a new chapter in your life where you feel like you have really tackled the binge monster and are ready to bring some serious Liz-love and positivity into your life. A fulfilled happy life is exactly what you deserve and I'll be happy to support you all along the way with that journey!!! I think I'll join in Hey I love Kathy Freston...she's awesome! Haha be careful, you read her for long enough, you'll end up being vegan Have you ever read Wayne Dyer? He's really good too! I think your new goals are really wonderful..those are the things in life we should all have. I'll be happy to shoot positivity your way each day Love you girl! ~Lauren

Posted 5 months ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Liz I would love to follow this new journal which represents a new chapter of your life !! I am so happy for you, youre taking the focus off of food and weight loss thoughts even more with this new page. Life is about all those things you named, not about food so its even better and it will be inspiring to read and get motivated!
What a coincidence because yesterday I practiced visualisation as well and alot of the things on your list are the things I was thinking about !
You deserve all the best and I know you WILL get it, youve allready come so far!

Posted 5 months ago #
Louise
Member

Liz, this is fantastoc.. I am so happy for you! You have turned a corner with no going back. How exciting and inspiring !
It's so true, life is not about food... we need food to fuel us to live our life.
Beautiful !!
I look forward to hearing your new journey loving yourself ! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted 5 months ago #
hlthwrtr
Member

Liz,

Congratulations on turning the corner. I'm new here and am not familiar with your story, but it's encouraging to see someone address the next step in the process of beating an ED...putting your new life back together the way you want it to be. Because those EDs crop up b/c we often can't deal with the underlying stuff that drives the behavior. You've shed that outer layer, the ED, and now you're at your core self and that is just beautiful. I want to be like you, beat this ED, and live my life. I'm excited to see you grow, reinvent, find love, become curious, do whatever, go wherever this journey takes you. Cuz that's what life is about. Hold on tight!

China

Posted 5 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Thanks Jen! I am so happy to open up this new chapter in my life. It just seems right! ☺

Hey Lauren! That binge monster had NOTHING on me-haha . I actually tried the veganism last year when I was reading her book! I LOVED it however, it was WAY to hard with my living situation. I wouldn’t be able to get any sort of protein since I wasn’t preparing my own meals. Since I was avoiding kind of food restriction I kind of gave it up. However, I do eat vegan friendly food whenever possible! ☺ I’ve never heard of Wayne Dyer but I will def look him up for my next read. I am SURROUNDING myself with all type of positive literature. I will gladly take that positivity since you were my inspiration!!! ☺ thanks laurieee~

Hey Anou! I hear Visualization does wonders! So far it has been working for me! Thanks for the support friend!

Hey China! Aw thanks so much! I feel so strong and over the past year have really found tactics that help me ward of the binge monster. That’s why now I would like to address the other issues that have brought me down. I am so excited to start living!

.Howdy! First day being more positive & first day in a while where everything went exceptionally well! ☺ I noticed lots of negative thoughts that crept into my mind but I acknowledged them and then changed my thinking.

First off, I was meeting my team at the coffee shop. My normal reaction would be kind of anxious because I knew other people would be there with us that I didn’t know. I thought about it and decided I would be excited for the experience to talk to new people. This got me kind of excited and I ended up making small chat and enjoying myself. Since everyone was getting food, I decided to get a muffin. I only ended up eating a couple bites since I had eaten just before I came (I didn’t know we were actually going to order food). The thing is, in the past I know I would have eaten that whole muffin. I could never stand having food without eating it but this time was different and I wasn’t even thinking about the food…☺

Then at the track I started off having a positive attitude and kept thinking in my head that I could do every skill perfectly. Not everything went perfect but I had a MUCH better day than yesterday & enjoyed myself more.

Finally, when I was driving home my friend called me. Usually I would have just ignored the call. When I go out with her we usually end up drinking and I really didn’t want to drink this week since I have to be up early everyday and train. However, I decided that I could go out for a little while and not drink. What the heck if I really felt uncomfortable I could just leave.. So I picked up and told her I would go home and get ready then meet her at this bar/ restaurant.. As I was getting ready I kept thinking about how ugly and bloated I looked. The thoughts of not going even creeped into my mind. I was even kind of craving food…I pushed the bad thoughts aside and just went.

I had a pretty good time. I started talking to this guy who I had never met before. We kept talking the whole time and he seemed pretty interested in talking to me. (he knew I had a boyfriend so it was nothing but friendly conversation). I didn’t even have to drink and felt totally comfortable! Had some good laughs and sooo happy i decided to go out! Just think if i would of stayed in i would have been moping and bored all night!

Okay longest post evverrr good night!!!!!

Posted 5 months ago #
noimae
Member

Hello Lizzie. I can't wait to read your journal. I wish I was more positive. I hope I will learn something ;

Posted 5 months ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hey Liz !
Youre so beautiful so Im glad you didnt listen to those ridiculous thoughts and just pushed them aside and went out and had a good time. I like how you switched your thoughts and decided to feel excited about meeting the new people and interacting with them instead of dreading it. Great job listening to your body with the muffin and with not feeling like drinking. Its good youre able to have fun without drinking even if the other people are, I used to never be able to do that! And another thing, when your friend called and you just decided to answer, you were being spontaneous, which feels so good. I used to plan out everything depending on what I was going to eat and how many calories to consume. Ughhh.

Posted 5 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hey Noimae! Thanks so much, i really hope i can offer some techniques that have helped me! You can be more positive it just changing your thinking :). Thanks for commenting!

Hey Anou! awe thanks girlie, i am glad i was able to push those thoughts away too. They were pretty ridiculous, i kind of saw them as my eating disorder saying them and me just laughing at them. I was not willing to let them keep me from staying home! Going out and not drinking has been something i have def had to work on and while im out i have to keep telling myself that i decided i wasnt going to drink. haha sometimes in the moment when people are pressuring me im like ok what the heck. However, yesterday i KNEW i couldnt drink & i have a realy fun time reguardless! EVERYTHING i used to do depended on when i was going to eat~ NOT ANYMOREEEE! I feel free

Hey everyone,
I woke up this morning and did a meditation to this application i downloaded on my cell phone. Its called positivity by andrew Jackson. In the middle when i was really relaxed i repeated positive statements in my head that he would say. It was really great and now i feel relaxed and happy and like i could take on the world!

Some thoughts for today:
See my problems as challenges to overcome: So my problems are: 1. eating in place of feeling emotions. Whenever i am uncomfortable or bored i want to eat. So now when i am uncomfortable i am just going to deal with it and try to do something to counteract it (aka, get into the conversation, just be myself) and when i am bored i am going to try something new!
2. Being shy and avoiding social situations: from now on i am going to accept every social invitation i get. (within reason, if i have a huge paper and know i cant go out thats different) but i really am going to just do things more!

okay so thats what i am focusing on today!!!

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey LIzzie! Love this new journal, seriously!! Oh yeah veganism is a horrible idea in a sorority house! Wayne Dyer really is good..if you need a book suggestion let me know (he's written like 15). I'm glad you are focusing on the positives like not being so hard on yourself at practice, the muffin success, and going out w/o drinking!! Those challenges will be tough, but I have no doubt you will tackle them head on Keep it up amiga! ~L

Posted 5 months ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hey Liz ! I agree with Lauren, love the new journal its going to inspire so many others, including me
I think that meditation thing sounds good, Im going to try to find something similar.
Those challenges are great ideas and stuff to think about and work on.
keep up living your FREE fun happy accomplished life

Posted 5 months ago #
Louise
Member

This journal is fab Liz.. I am so happy to be reading this. Seeing a problem as a challenge to overcome is great.. the world doesn't stop turning does it, we have to battle on and get on woth it.. not turn to food, food is just food, right !! ha ha
I am enjoying this new journal Liz, thanks xxxxxx

Posted 5 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hey Laurie! I would love a recommendation for a good read! Thanks!

Hey Anou! Thanks girlie! I have to admit this journal is even inspiring me to remember to look at the bright side of things! I hope I can keep up the mediation after spring break when i am busy with school again. I am sure i can find SOMETIME to do it during the day, its actually nice to do it when i first wake up.

Hey Louise!Thanks girlie! Its true, food will never help us overcome our problems. We have to dig deep and face our fears! I have noticed that facing them is 1000000 times better than turing to food or bingeing.

Hola amigas!
Today was a fun filled day of shopping with my sister and mom. We drove to a mall about 2 hours away and boy did we shop! I found the CUTEST white backless dress from BCBG. This dress was perfect because of the "backless" part. Yesterday my sister and I were joking about the "curses" we inherited from out parents including big ribs, arms, but awesome legs .. We have a hard time getting dresses to zip over the ribs and end up having to go up a dress size. With this dress it didn't matter because it didnt zip up over our ribs. So it was PERFECT for both of us! We ended up deciding that we would share it. I am going to wear it to this dance that is coming up and she is going to wear it this summer to my brothers wedding. This way it was kind of like cutting the cost in half bc boy was it expensive!
I had a really great day with my sister and mom. My sister is hilarious! I swear i got a 6-pack today just from laughing. My mom has a very high strung personality and well..freaks out easily at stupid things.. so it is easy for us to poke fun at her a bit. My mom is a great sport though and laughs at herself too.
We didn't get home until 8pm so i decided to take the day off from exercise. My legs were beat from this week so no worries there!
All day i practiced feeling my "negative emotions". In my book it said that it is important not to push these feelings aside or ignore them. Doing this will only make these things happen in your life until you recognize them. Well i had lots of opportunities to experience these emotions because my mom does a lot of things that get on my nerves. For example, every-time she dosnt like something I try on, she looks at it and makes this weird face and goes "im not saying anything"- im thinking-if you dont like it just say so! So this along with some other things annoy me. soo instead of just pushing the feelings aside i took a second in the dressing room to take some deep breaths and really feel the anger. Then I was able to let it go done!

My spring break offically ends tomorrow so that means back to school for me on Monday! I had SUCH a relaxing spring break that i am re-charged for school!

Have a great night everyone!!!

<3 Liz

Posted 5 months ago #
amanda918
Member

Hey Lizz! It took me forever to find your new journal haha because I was searching for the old one, but I love this for you! I think that being in the position you are in of being binge free for about 9 months means that its time to move on from the food aspect and just focus on living a fulfilling and positive life for yourself. I'm so glad that you want to stay on this forum and chat with us even though you have basically recovered. Sounds like your heads in the right place and I'm looking forward to reading your journal with a new focus and a new attitude. You GO GIRL!!!

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey Lizzie!! I liked "The Power of Intention" "You'll See it When you Believe it" and "There is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem" That dress from BCBG sounds so cute..I LOVE LOVE LOVE their dresses but man are they expensive! Sounds like you and your sister worked out a good plan!! Aw glad you guys had a fun day shopping together and you gave those amazing legs a break yesterday! Hope you enjoyed your Spring Break! ~L

Posted 5 months ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hey Liz ! Wow that dress sounds so sexy. And what a great idea to share it with your sis! I think backless dresses are really nice and the back is a very sensual underrated spot on the body. Were used to showing legs and boobs but sometimes a back is just as sexy. Yours must be all toned and athletic too
Im glad you enjoyed your spring break and feel ready to tackle on school !
I know moms can annoy us sometimes but if you just know thats the way she is just try not to let her comments affect you too much and brush them off. But I like what you said about how we have to feel our negative emotions because its so true, its the healthy thing to do to be able to manage them appropriately and not compensate with other behaviors.

Posted 5 months ago #
stopthemadness
Member

Hey Liz! I also need to practice avoiding social situations. Before, I would ignore calls quite often .. and make up excuses not to eat out with people.. all because I was worried about the food and getting fat, etc. So dumb. I'm glad you had a relaxing spring break!! I just started mine :]

<3 Emi

Posted 5 months ago #
amanda918
Member

what a gorgeous picture lizz! I love it

Posted 5 months ago #
Lorena
Member

Oh my word!! I have just realised that this is your journal lol. I've been wondering why you haven't been posting and now i know lol.

Ah hun i'm so happy that you are at this place and had a lovely time at home. You deserve it and remember how you felt at home and take it with you.

You are a lovely, great person and i'm really happy that you have began going out and socialising more. Everyone should know how amazing you are xx

Posted 5 months ago #
Louise
Member

Hey Sweets, wow, you're totally doing it arn't you!
Dress sounds like a good plan to share
I like the bit about practising feeling your negative emotions.. I agree with this,,, if we can learn to accept how we feel this could avoid dealing with them sub consciously with a binge.
Glad you had a great family day xxxxx

Posted 5 months ago #

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