jewels32's journal

[jewels32Participant]

Hi, I’m new to all of this. I don’t like telling people I have an eating disorder but I guess its necassary if I want to recover. I’m bulimic and I’ve lost nearly 100lbs in the past 3 years.(I’m younger by the way) my childhood was hard for me. Guys were never intrested in the fat girl.

Anyways I didn’t binge n purge all the time, I was on weightwatchers for the longest time. I lost nerly 60lbs but when I quit I gained 20 back. So then I turned to throwing up and excessive exersise which cause me to weigh less then I have in years. I got down to my perfect weight but gained 10lbs when I joined cross country n now I can’t stop the eating and the exersise :,( running nearly 27 miles a week isn’t enough. After practice I come home and jump on the treadmill.

Everything is spirling out of control and I miss I could stop myself from eating too much. I feel powerless

[HollyParticipant]

Hi Jewels,

Welcome! I’m new to the forum as well so I’m not a pro at this yet! But I just wanted to say that I think you’ve taken a great first step by finding this community and having the courage to post! I don’t like talking about this stuff either but I’ve found that sharing my feelings here is really helping me to get a grip on this ED. It’s only been a week and I’ve already learned so much just by reading other people’s journals and reflecting on my own entries. Everyone here is really supportive and I think that journaling is a really big part of everyone’s recovery.

So good for you for taking the first step, and if you feel up to it, keep posting Would love to learn more about what you’re going through so we can all beat this together! I know we can do it!

xox Holly

[apanda81Participant]

I am a massive runner myself and I can relate to it never beening enough and wanting to eat so much. However, running does exert a lot of energy and you need to eat. I learned after years of restrictive eating, compulsive exercising, and massive binges is this. I use to eat very low calories for all the exercise I was doing and then one day a week (if I could last that long!!) I would eat and eat and eat. Recently I have added more calories back into my daily intake which has allowed for me not to binge as much. I have been working on this for the past 2-3 months now. It is a slooooooooowwww process for me but my body does feel better.

[jewels32Participant]

Thanks for all of the support. It’s hard sometimes because I feel like nobody really understands what it’s like to have and eating disorder since all of my friends are perfectly skinny no matter what they eat. And maybe I will try to increase my calorie intake more, I normally only try to eat around 1,800 calories but burn off a lot of it because of the sports I play. Still sometimes I feel like a balloon; one week I’ll be perfectly skinny then after a day of beinging I’m up 5lbs.

[LaurenParticipant]

Hey Jewels…welcome! Hmm I would say that if you are doing A LOT of exercise, you may need more than 1800 calories…sometimes those binges are triggered out of a pure physiological need so make sure that you are properly fueling your sports. Looking forward to keeping up with your progress here. ~Lauren

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