Support to stop binge eating, stop emotional eating, and stop overeating.
jacquirsw1
Member
Well I have had a better day today, it has been much less stressful which is good as I don't think I could have stayed away from the food if today had been as bad.
Food wise today I have had
breakfast - banana
lunch - tuna salad sandwich
dinner - chicken and roasted veg fajita's
jacquirsw1
Member
Another good day for me with my food. it has been busy at work and normally they are the days that I struggle, but I made sure that I took the time for myself and had something to eat so that I wasn't getting to hungry which would trigger a binge.
dd is poorly this evening, she has a bad cold and stuff but has no temperature so I am pretty sure she is not snuffle for truffles but will have to keep a close eye on here.
Breakfast - weetabix
Snack - banana
Lunch - ham salad sandwich
dinner - fish pie and veggies
jacquirsw1
Member
I can't believe that it is August tomorrow. It is my birthday next week and I am a bit down as I had really hoped that I was going to have lost alot more weight by then but it hasn't happened.
I only have myself to be accountable though about it. I know that I have to think about the positives of the last year, I have gained alot more control over my eating disorder which is really good.
My anxiety side of things seems to be managed correctly now so I only very rarely am having the major anxiety attacks that this time last year were common place.
I have changed jobs and am in a much better place in that respect so there are lots of good things going on. I just keep wishing that my weight was one of them.
Breakfast - mini weetabix
Lunch - tuna salad sandwich
Dinner - beef and veg stew.
Hope777
Member
Hi Jacqui! Looking over your recent jounral entries you have had so many good days compaired to the not so good days. I think it is important not to get stuck on how much weight we are loosing and look at the progress we have made with taking control over this eating disorder. The weight loss comes naturally after we take control. Be happy that you are loosing weight slowly because it will most likly be perminat weight loss. If you were to loose a bunch of weight super fast it would at some time or another come back. I think it is a process to teach ourselves to not be so hard on ourselves and not worry about how we look so much. This of yourself as a dear friend and treat yourself how you would treat them. Overall you are doing so well!! P.s. I am also an august birthday! Lets try as hard as we can to focus on the positive! 
jacquirsw1
Member
Thanks Hon
I know I shouldn't get caught up in the weight thing, but it is soo hard, I know I am nearly 5 stone over the top of my healthy bmi (60lb) so it is really difficult not to focus on as I know just how unhealthy being that over weight is in the long term.
But you are right I know logically in my head that the weight will come off all be it slowly with having the better control over my binging, sometimes we just have to have those reminders.
Thanks again
stay at home mom
Member
Have a Happy Birthday, Jacqui 
I try to not use birthdays as a deadline for anything I 'should' have done. Instead, I hope you are in a financial situation to treat yourself to some nice clothes or something to make yourself feel even more beautiful that day.
Helen
jacquirsw1
Member
Unfortunately not in a position to treat myself big time, but will try and have some time to myself, nice candles or something with a nice long bath.
Today has been really nice.
Why is it that just being around babies / toddlers can make the whole day a) go really quickly and b) seem so positive.
Never seemed quite like that with my own, but I have had my best friends little girl today and it has been such a good day. we went out to the farm and spent time with the animals and then came home and she fell asleep on me. Just lots of warm feelings (and no I am not broody for more)
Breakfast - crunchynut cornflakes
lunch - summer fruit slice (different I know but really fancied it)
Dinner - spagetti bolognaise with loads of veggies
jacquirsw1
Member
Well it has been a good day for me.
I spent the morning relaxing and just chilling around the house and then this evening I have been at work.
I was a little anxious before coming in as I often find that these late shifts knock me off course with my food and I end up eating badly feeling guilty and eating worse.
But today I sorted out what I was going to have before I started and brought it with me and I have stuck to it, how cool is that.
It is also coming up to totm which I normally have bad cravings to be at and I am not having them at the moment (crossed fingers they stay away)
Breakfast - crunchynut cornflakes
Lunch - 1.5 ham salad and mayo sandwich
Dinner - jacket potato and large can of beans
Snack - yoghurt.
jacquirsw1
Member
I am definitely getting the hang of this lol, has only taken 7 years and one trip at goal to get there lol.
I was at work this morning and again managed to stay on track, I had taken breakfast stuff and lunch stuff with me so that I had no excuse.
It feels really good to be doing well at the moment. I really do think that posting my day here is really helping as I don't want to be putting down loads of bad stuff.
It is weigh in day tomorrow and for once I am not worried about it because I know I have eaten well this week so the result on the scales is not the most important thing
Breakfast - mini weetabix
Lunch - Tuna and salad roll
Snack - ww rice pud and jam
Dinner - Jacket potato with prawns, and home made marie rose sauce with a large salad.
piggypie
Member
This is so inspiring !It is great you realize the scales cannot rule your life. This is still a big challenge for me. I am happy to hear youre doing well!
jacquirsw1
Member
It has been a very busy day.
I had 2 new staff start at work and have had to do lots of work with them, which although it is very time consuming is also really good as it is the time I get to put across my values and expectations.
I did weigh in this morning. Although I wasn't hold ing my breath as not only had a had a huge result last week because of being extremely ill (gastric) but ladies week arrived yesterday as well so I was expecting the scales to not be that kind at all. The result was................. I managed to sts which I am really really chuffed about.
Breakfast - banana
Lunch - tuna salad and salad cream sandwich
Dinner - Chicken and mushroom supreme with veggies and rice.
Alison_E
Member
You're doing really well! Can I ask - I notice you don't have snacks ... is that right? How long did it take for you to adjust to three main meals as opposed to, say, 3 main meals and 2 snacks?
stay at home mom
Member
Hi Jacqui: that's really cool and glad to hear your chuffed.
Helen
jacquirsw1
Member
It has been a difficult day today. I had a meeting with an investigating officer and spent an hour and a half being asked difficult questions about other managers behaviour and professionalism which was very hard. I am pleased in one sense because I didn't resort to food with it and managed to get through by just accepting that I was going to feel bad in that situation and that it would not last forever.
I think that it has been a big thing for me today as in the past even if I hadn't binged because of wanting to hide the emotions I would have used it as an excuse to binge as though it was there as a reason so whether I feel that bad or not I will binge anyway. This is still a constant learning place for me.
Breakfast - mini weetabix
Lunch - Ham salad and mayo sandwich
Dinner - shepherds pie and veggies
Snack - choco pud
Alison
I don't have a set meal pattern where I say I will or won't have snacks but try to go with the flow and how I am feeling. I have breakfast and then if I want a morning snack I will have one but if not I will go till lunch and then again if I want a snack in the afternoon I have one but I don't always feel hungry for a snack.
Hope777
Member
Thats great that you just accepted your feelings without turning to food. This is a constant learning place and it feels great once a stressful situation is over to know that you dont have to turn to food. That the bad situation will come and eventually end.
jacquirsw1
Member
It has been a good and bad day.
I have been off work today which was nice and got some work done in the garden which was looking more like a jungle at the moment, and had a really nice meal out this evening with my parents as they wanted to celebrate my brithday with me and I am working tomorrow so couldn't do it on the day. SO all of that was really good.
But now I am sitting here very bloated my tummy is not happy at all and it is all because I used it as an excuse to really over indulge. I was full after the main course but still had pudding and things like that which I know is not a big deal in the main and I know that on occaissions like birthdays a good majority of people with over indulge but I hate this physical feeling that I now have and that is making me feel bad about doing it if that makes any sense.
Breakfast - mini weetabix
Lunch - egg and salad sandwiches
Snack - rice pudding and jam
Dinner - starter, mixed thing with garlic mushroom, onion rings, breaded mozzerella, chicken strip. main course, scampi and steak with chips and salad. dessert, cherry cheesecake and ice cream
stay at home mom
Member
Hope you're having a good one today, Jacqui. Cheers
Yeah, it's uncomfortable right after a queenly supper but hopefully it was just a bit of indigestion and nothing else.
Helen
jacquirsw1
Member
Well it seems an age since I was here properly last.
Thursday I had a bad day, I ate something that reacted badly with me and ended up in the bathroom for a couple of hours which really wasn't nice.
Friday was a really good day, I had a friend round in the evening and Hubby went out for the night to one of his mates and we had a great girlie evening which was really nice.
Food wise hasn't been that bad.
Friday 7th
Breakfast - banana and ham
Lunch - Ham salad sandwich with mayo
Dinner - mushroom risotto with chicken wrapped in parma ham and a small slice of birthday cake. this meal was gorgeous even though I say it myself I was impressed with my cooking.
Today we are on our own, darling daughter has gone to London with her nan to watch romeo and juliet at the globe, and then we are joining her down there tomorrow and staying till Wed, so not sure how much I will get on here. I am a bit anxious about being away and the food side of things but trying to let it get to me as then I will binge because of the anxiety about binging not because I was actually going to binge if that made any sense.
Going to catch up on the posts now that I have missed over the last couple of days.
jacquirsw1
Member
I have had a good day today, I haven't done much as it was the first say of my annual leave and I am off to London tomorrow for 4 days which are going to be really hectic so decided to just take it easy today. Have just done the last few bits that needed to be done like washing and things.
I haven't eaten alot today but I am sure that the next few days will make up for that lol.
Breakfast - nothing (got up late)
Lunch - ham salad sandwich with mayo
snack - go ahead biscuits
Dinner - chicken breast in bacon, jacket potato and salad with mayo.
I will try to get on and post while I am away but not sure how easy that will be.
I hope everyone has a good few days
gee_kool
Member
Hey Jacqui
Thnxs for your encouraging and supportive words in my journal. I definately WONT go back to extreme dieting again (ish), no matter how impatient i can be at times with the slow but gradual weigyht loss. I definatey don't want to experience a lifeless world again.
Well when checking updates on your journal it was vey inspiring. You have come a longgg way and should be happy with yourself. You seem more relaxed about so called "bad days" than before and your understanding of your body needs seems so much more sharper. well done. You have been doing so well and i congratulate you for making such big progress in the month i didnt get to come on here.
Kepp the positivity alive and always remember your HUMAN and mistakes are always going to happen, but its what we learn from our mistakes that makes a huge difference. I hope you continually keep learning each day, and by the looks of it you are.
You and Helen in particular have been really supportive to me and I would like to say a BIG Thanks to you guys.
Keep the hope alive.
jacquirsw1
Member
Thanks
Well I am back from my holiday break in London.
We had a really good time, I have eaten badly and stuff but do you know what????? I didn't care, I was on holiday. None of what I did was a binge it was just not the healthy long term 'diet' that I want to have. The good news is that the amount of walking and stuff that I did over the 4 days has got to have cancelled some of the calories out lol.
We did loads and I am very tired now. But am looking forward to catching up on everyones progress tomorrow when I am back to normal again.
Jacqui
alannah09
Member
That sounds like a lovely weekend! and as long as it is not a binge, it is good in my book. If you could eat a piece of cake breakfast lunch and dinner but just limit yourself to a serving and not binge...I would see that as progress! I think the weekend sounds very good and very normal...normal people tend to overeat on holiday!
stay at home mom
Member
Hi Jacqui: That's great you had fun in London. I'm really impressed with your relaxed attitude during that time, and also now.
Helen
Hope777
Member
Its great that you were able to enjoy the great food without bingeing. Do you think you enjoyed yourself more on this holiday then on others when food was more of an obsession? I noticed that although i may have eating a bit more on holiday i wasn't stressing about it so i enjoyed everything a bit more than i would.
jacquirsw1
Member
Yeah I definitely enjoyed this holiday more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and the best thing is that I have been able to get up this morning and just go back to what I consider my 'normal' eating to be which is something in the past I would have struggled to do, even when I would have allowed my self to have things it would often have turned into an extended overeating period when I got back, but not this time so I am dead chuffed.
Jacqui
jacquirsw1
Member
Well I have done very little today and it has been great. The holiday was brill but definitely needed to have a break now I'm back lol.
Food wise I have been generally good today although have had a little slip where I think my brain was just doing a habit thing and I started eating what was left of my birthday cake and then as I had the first bite - thought what am I doing I don't even really want it I was having it because it was there.
Breakfast - mini weetabix
snack - go ahead biccy
Lunch - ham salad and s/cream sandwich
snack - go ahead biccy
oops bit of cake (literally one bite)
Dinner - spagetti bolognaise
jacquirsw1
Member
I have had a very busy day today. I have eaten more than I wanted to but I have also done alot of physical activity so I think it was just my body needing the extra nutrients.
I am going to be doing a lot tomorrow as well so activity wise it is better than it has been.
Breakfast - mini weetabix
Lunch - bacon, sausage, egg and beans with a slice of bread
Dinner - steak chips mushrooms and tomotoes with a small slice of cheesecake
jacquirsw1
Member
WOW it was a really busy day yesterday.
I was up early and by half eight was helping to construct a wooden house at the bottom of my m.i.l's garden, lots of work there, then at 1pm I ended up going with my sister in law over to yorkshire to keep her company and support her taking one of her doggies to the vets while our hubbies stayed here in cheshire and finished the house.
Then spent 2 hours grooming one of her dogs which was cool.
so busy busy
food went out of the window as none of the plans that I had happened cos of lots of changes in the day, but I am happy with myself as although I ate badly with the choices I made I did positive things as well. Like only having half of the pizza I ordered rather than binging on it and eating the whole thing and stuff like that.
Breakfast - 1/2 a ham salad sandwich
Lunch - none
Snack - wispa
Dinner - 4 slices pizza and 1 slice of garlic bread.
jacquirsw1
Member
Oh I have soooooooooo enjoyed this afternoon just doing nothing and chilling after my hectic few days. I even managed to have an afternoon snoooooooze which I don't do often and it was lovely.
I have been back on track with my eating which is great and I am really pleased with how things are at the moment, so even though I have eaten more calories than I would prefer for the day I still feel really positive.
Breakfast - bacon sausage egg beans and toast (I was away and it was cooked for me)
Lunch - ham salad sandwich
Dinner - jacket potato with elf, mashrooms and salad.
Hope777
Member
You are doing SOSOSOSO well! I know it is tough getting back on track after a vacation and you seem to be doing wonderfully! I dont usually take afternoon naps (often i found them ad a wast) but lately i am finding that sometime i do need that extra snooze! glad to hear you are doing so well!
jacquirsw1
Member
Thanks hon.
Had a bit of a wobble in my head today as I got on the scales and they showed a gain but I know that the numbers there don't make me good or bad so I have accepted the numbers and managed not to blow it and binge. I think that this is the most settled I have been with my eating in a very long time and it does feel good. Coming here and doing my journal everyday really does help me to stay on track as I know if I am struggling then someone will always say something that I can relate to that makes me put it all back into perspective.
Breakfast - mini weetabix
Lunch - ham salad sandwich
snack - go ahead biscuits
Dinner - cottage pie and loads of veggies.
piggypie
Member
jacqui-
I think it is truly amazing that you did not let the scales control your eating or your mood for the day. This is a struggle for me. My mom told me about the "serenity prayer" last night. It says to ask God for the serenity to accept the things we cannot change; the courage to change the things we can; and the wisdom to know the difference. It really helped me get through today after my 2 day binge this weekend and I hope it can help you in the future as well (:
jacquirsw1
Member
Hi
That is something that I have had in my head for years. I really do feel that whether people are religious and use it as a prayer or not religious and just use it as wise words that it is sooo true and something that especially for those of us that perfectionistic tendancies is something that we should really come to terms with
jacquirsw1
Member
I have had a really cool day. I spent the majority of it with my daughter out shopping for the new school term and getting all her uniform etc. We don't often get the time completely on our own so it was nice, and we managed to get throguh it without having a fall out (she is a teenager so this is a big thing)
The only downside is that I ended up having KFC while we were out which I hadn't bargained on so feel a little guilty for that now but going to try and just stick to the positives of the day. My daughter also cooked dinner for myself and hubby so I couldn't really say no to that and it was not really a very healthy option so not the best day for me, feel a little fat but it has just been what I have eaten rather than the amounts which I am ok with.
Breakfast - 1/2 ham butty
Lunch - KFC fillet meal
Snack - go ahead biscuits
Dinner - toad in the hole with brocolli carrots and cauliflower
jacquirsw1
Member
Another good day for me.
Although it has been expensive again, after doing my daughters school shopping yesterday and topping her uniform up, when we got in last night she decided to try on the things that she had at the end of the last term and lo and behold none of it fits her. So have had to go out again today and get a load more things.
Food wise it has been good.
Breakfast - mini weetabix
Lunch - beetroot salad and mayo sandwiches
Snack - go ahead biscuits
Dinner - Jacket potato with a vegetable moussaka
Hope777
Member
Hey Jacqui-
It sounds like you are doing wonderful. Sometimes i feel guilty for not eating the healthiest options (like you and the KFC) but then later or the next day i am usually okay with it.I look at it this way- It is good to splurg sometimes on something we normally wouldnt eat because then we are less likely to binge on it in the future. Sounds like you are having some good quality time with your daughter before its back to school again.
Chantelle
Member
Hi jaqui I thought I would come and check out your journal as youve given me some very kind and helpful words on mine, and wowey you have been on track for soooo long i think your first post was like 3months ago thats amazing that youve kept to this and still remained helping other people along the way too, you are doing great and you are sooooo aware of your thoughts...
Just saw your thing on prayers there and my friend recently went to see a mediator as her mother passed away recently and she learnt how to read angel cards well anyway im not sure how it works exactly but its based on the fact that everything in our lives happens for a reason and the cards I got were related to self welfare and basically all 5of them focused back to the point of look after yourself properly in health and everybody and everything around you will benefit...
Which makes sense right if we can beat this ED every1 will benefit..
And there was an inspiring qoate on the cards i thought id share lol dont worry il stop babbling after this
"When making a decision always ask yourself..which way brings me closer to my divine purpose in life, and which way takes me away"
I think we can all relate to this as bingeing always takes us away and out of reality.
Keep up the good work Jaqui you are an inspiration.
jacquirsw1
Member
Thank you Chantelle.
This is actually my 2nd journal as they only allow us to go to 10 pages. I have been on the site for about 8 months now, and I am doing very differently now in a good way to how I was when I first found the site
jacquirsw1
Member
Well it has been a bit of a mixed day for me. I woke up early and have had a headache for most of the day, not horrendously badly but just there. Consequently apart form doing odd bits around the house haven't done much for the majority of the day, but was out this evening watching my dd at the taekwondo grading. I think she did really well but we don't find out the results until monday. Unfortunately this meant that dinner this evening was a mix match.
Breakfast - yoghurt and banana
Lunch - ham, soft cheese salad and mayo sandwich and a ww rice pudding.
snack - 1/2 liver pate sandwich and some go ahead biscuits
Dinner - about 10 chippy chips and left over veggie bake.
jacquirsw1
Member
Hi
Not sure if I am going to make it on later as we are going out but I have a couple of days from hell for a binge eater.
Tonight is a bbq at my parents (is my step dad's birthday tomorrow) I know that I can eat normally but it is one of those situations that I always seem to struggle at and feel guilty about.
Tomorrow we are going out for the evening to my hubby's brothers and I have already been given the word that we will be having indian to eat, so again it is something that I do struggle to stay on track with because of how high I know it is in fat etc so even if I don't eat alot I always feel guilty, and normally end up pigging out anyway because I sort of get the 'if I am going to feel guilty anyway then I might as well pig out' so that is my mission for the next couple of days, to get through without blowing it just because I might blow it if that made any sense lol
Jacqui
stay at home mom
Member
Hi Jacqui: you've been doing really well and I think you'll do fine at the buffet style spreads coming up...like you did fine with Indian for your birthday. I do find a eat a bit more due to the great variety available, but the main things I aim for are to eat exactly what I truly enjoy and find that sweetspot when I'm perfectly satisfied yet not uncomfortable. Have a great weekend,
Helen
Hope777
Member
Hey Jacqui:
You do have some toughie days coming up however, i have faith you can get through them. Instead of focusing on the food try to focus on the people around you. Make some sort of effort to chat while you eat and eat slower. Take a plate of everything you REALLY want with no restrictions and eat until you comfortably full then have some desert too. You were probably around some not so healthy food on your vacation and you survived then, so maybe try the same sort of tatics. If all else fails a couple days of celebration and then you can get back on track.Try to focus on the fun events instead of the food, (even though i know that can be hard). Ill pray for you!
piggypie
Member
Jacqui-
I have faith that you can get through these next few days as well (:
I can definitely relate to the "guilt" feeling you explained, so I know what a challenge it can be. Have faith in yourself and trust yourself! You will be fine! Stay strong and try to have FUN! (:
jacquirsw1
Member
Well the first one is over.
Yes I ate too much and yes I do feel a little guilty about it, but I also didn't eat more than the rest of the people there. So thinking about it logically that must be ok for me to have eaten more than I would normally, if other people are eating the same or more. It was a really good evening for the majority of it, although it had a cloud over the 2nd half as we had a phone call from my neice to say that my brother was being taken in for emergency surgery because he has ruptured part of his intestines so I am a little worried to say the least.
Breakfast - mini weetabix
Lunch - chicken and veg soup
Snack - rice pudding
Dinner - beefburger, 2 sausages, 1 roll, 2 bacon and cheese things, jacket potato, salad, mayo and ketchup, rhubarb crumble and icecream
Alison_E
Member
Terrific ! You did great ... and to be honest, looking over what you ate during the day, I don't think you ate too much at dinner at all .. it looks like a pretty balanced day to me.
Fingers crossed for your brother ... I find that sometimes these 'out of the blue' things can trip me up a little but you have so much self-awareness and balance that I have no doubt you'll be fine
Hope777
Member
You did really well, eating without a binge. It is quit normal to eat a bit more than usual at celebrations. By not beating yourself up about it and bingeing more is progress. great work!
jacquirsw1
Member
Not a great day yesterday. I completely overate at dinner, we ended up at a chinese all you can eat place and I ate huge amounts, but the were still a couple of positives that I am going to take from it.
The first is that although I did over eat I was controlled in what I had, we were there for 3 hours and I paced my eating through it all. I also stopped eating before I got that horrid full I have binged feeling which I am really proud about doing. I know that I shouldn't ahve over eaten especially after over eating the day before, and I don't want to just accept over eating and think it is good because it is not a binge, but for this time in how I am I am ok with it. There are definitely things I still need to work on if I am going to keep this going long term but things are looking good.
Breakfast - 1/2 soft cheese and chive sandwich
Lunch - mushroom and cheese omlette with salad
Snack - yoghurt go ahead biscuits
Dinner - 4 plates or main chinese food (the plates were the size of large side plates so I am reckoning would have been equal to 2 normal plates) and a very small piece of cheesecake with some icecream and strawberry sauce.
jacquirsw1
Member
Well I know that I have over eaten friday and saturday and do you know what. It is ok!! I had 2 family parties and that is alright what wouldn't have been ok however would have been using that as an excuse to continue eating more today, and for once in my life I didn't. I have been back on track today which is great.
Breakfast - crunchynut cornflakes
Lunch - 1.5 tuna salad and salad cream butty
Snack - ww rice pud
Dinner - roast gammon 1 roast potato and parsnip cauliflower and brocolli, carrots and swede and gravy
Hope777
Member
GOOD FOR YOU!! staying so positive and taking the best from these situations. Its great that you were able to stop before being SUPER full. Eating alor commonly happens at family parties, i bet you werent the only one who ate more than normal. Good job on not letting those stressful feeling of overeating sink into today! Im sure you will be feeling back to normal by tommrow.
jacquirsw1
Member
Well I have stayed on track today even though I had a couple of times when I thought that I wanted to go and get some binge food. But then I realised that it was just the stress of being back at work and the incompetance of people cos I get very frustrated with it.
Breakfast - banana and yoghurt
Lunch - tuna and cucumber sandwich
Snack - mini weetabix
Dinner - ww garlic mushroom pizza and salad
Jacqui
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