When I was in high school I had an eating disorder. It didn’t start as wanting to be thin. There was a traumatic event in my family that I’d rather not be detailed about and I was left to handle everything. I felt like my world was spinning out of control, and that’s when I decided the one thing I could control was what I put in my mouth. I broke down my diet to 600 calories a day and ran three miles a day and rapidly lost weight. I was depressed and developed anorexia. When my family realized I needed help they took me to therapists. I was resistant at first, but once they told me my kidneys and liver were going into failure I realized more than just being skinny was on the line at this point. I was dying. Literally dying. My organs were going into failure, vital organs that I needed to live. It scared the hell out of me. I began trying to gain weight as fast as I could. Scarfing down pints of ice cream, trays of brownies, jars of peanut butter, boxes of cookies and the like. I finally got back to a better weight, and when I did I was able to stop for a while. But then the binging came back. It was a few years later and I was depressed and thinking about anorexia again, but instead of falling into that trap, I started binging again. I now binge when I get emotional or for no reason at all. I can’t stop. It’s causing me to gain weight and I’m afraid that if I don’t stop I’ll fall back into starving myself again. I really want to change, but I don’t know how to commit to this change. I need someone to talk to about this. I would really appreciate it if someone with a problem similar to mine could just message me once a day to help me stop binging. Please.