I just need some support « Binge Eating Forum

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I just need some support

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Started 7 months ago by W
Latest reply from thepurplerabbit

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Hope777
Member

dianneee!
please please please dont think this way! I am so sorry you binged but i really think you are making progress. What do you think caused this binge? Are you restricting at all-(i found that when i counted calories and i tried to only eat 1500 i would binge).. Maybe you were feeling guilty about not exercising? Maybe could to cycle time causing the depression- or do you feel this way a lot? Whatever you do please dont restrict. Just keep eating in a healthy mannor and i promise your binges will get less and less and you will eventually get to a happy place.
Just from reading your posts i can tell you are such a kind caring wonderful girl!!! Just try not to be so hard on yourself..

sending 100 hugs your way,
Liz

Posted 6 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Oh honey I'm sorry you had a bad night. I had major depression and suicidal thoughts with my BED at its worst times but I promise there is a way out of this. Life is good on the other side so keep fighting on. I think maybe if you didn't count calories that would help a lot because you sounded discouraged that you had gone over your calorie limit so maybe that is what triggered the binge? And yes BED def. screws up our cycles. Hang in there girl..just get yourself back on track and just look at tonight as a small setback. Hugs, Lauren

Posted 6 months ago #
Sez
Member

Hey xxdeed,
Sorry to hear times have not been good over the past day or so! It's just a little speed bump on the road to recovery though!! So keep on driving girl!!!
Having an eating disorder has really messed up my cycle, but it did this from the beginning, so if yours has been normal up till now I would get it checked. Spesh if there is a chance you could be preg.
Hope tomorrow goes well for you xxx Sarah

Posted 6 months ago #
W
Member

Thanks guys, I really really do appreciate it. It's insane how warped BED can make our heads, ugh. I love being able to come here for support and have people KNOW what I'm feeling. I tried to talk to my sister about it but she just didn't get it. I don't blame her but this forum definitely is a lifesaver.

Today has been good. I kind of slipped and had an Oreo with my usual morning oatmeal, but I still stayed around 300 cals so it's fine, just have to be on my best behavior today so this binge doesn't last too long haha.

Posted 6 months ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hey sweetie, I am sorry you had a binge. I ve been there before many many times please dont feel guilty. Guilt only makes everything worst. I think it might be a good idea to try to stop counting calories ( I know its hard and I still do it in my head without even thinking about it ), because I know going over my self-imposed calorie limit always used to trigger binges. Also, I had decided on a limit that was too low for my bodys needs and that always backfired.
Your breakfast sounds good, nothing wrong with an extra Oreo !
Keep fighting you can do this !

Posted 6 months ago #
W
Member

Thanks guys =\ I ended up pretty much binging all day today, and now I just found out that I'm going to have to pay rent on an apartment I'm not even living in ($363 a month) until August, so I'm really bummed right now. I haven't eaten since about 4 and it's 9:15 so I might have a snack before bed, but I'm so upset I don't know if I want food.

I binged all day but right now the calorie totals are 1650 or something, and my limit is 1550 so it isn't awful. If I have a snack I'll try to keep it under 200 cals and maybe all raw? I dunno. I do okay with not going over too bad on calories (usually) but I just hate how much food I stuff in myself when I'm not even hungry. Makes me feel huge.

Posted 6 months ago #
Sez
Member

1650cals all day is NOT binging!!! And if your limit is 1550 then you are only 100 cals over. Not to bad at all?
Guts about having to pay for an apartment you are not even in and 363$ a week. HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!! That sucks. Kinda like me last year I had to live in the same room as my EX for 2 months because if I moved out I still had to pay $115 a week and also I had a job and school so I couldn't move back home as my fam lived in a diff town.
Hope things get better for you tomorrow xxx Sarah

Posted 6 months ago #
W
Member

You're right...looking back on it, it wasn't my worst- it was just that I never let myself be anything but STUFFED all day and that's such a gross feeling =\ Sez, what's your journals name btw?

Today has been another snow day! I'm bored of them, haha. We have so much snow its RIDICULOUS.

Foodwise has been great. My breakfast was huge, 400 cals- 1/3 c. oats, 1 vanilla Chobani, 1 banana, 1.5 tbsp of Better'n PB. That was at 8 and I lasted til lunch at 1 (with a nap thrown in there which probably helped haha)

Lunch was 1/2 grilled cheese and a salad. I was still hungry so I had a chocolate mint Balance bar. It's 5:45 now and I'm skipping dinner with my family bc I'm still pretty full. Maybe all the excess cals these past few days are being put to use today? I hope, haha

Posted 6 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hi Diane!
Dear 1650 does not sound like a binge at all to me. I think on a normal day i have over 2000 calories. I know when i was an avid calorie counter if i went 200 over it felt like a binge. However, if you felt stuffed that is never a good feeling. Have you ever thought about allowing yourself a little more calories daily? I know when i did this it helped so much with the binge urges. BTW we have had a lot of snow too.. I am SUPER sick of it. I am SOOO ready for spring!!!! Hope you have a good night and get feeling back to normal! hang in there!!!

~Liz

Posted 6 months ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hey hey ! If it can reassure you I eat 600 cals for breakfast somedays and sometimes probably 2200-2400 for the day ! 1600 cals for me is dieting mode so I wouldnt freak out about that at all. I know it sucks when you dont eat for the right reasons and feel uncomfortable after though. I agree that adding a little bit more calories will probably speed up your metabolism and keep those binges at bay ! Have a great evening xox

Posted 6 months ago #
W
Member

You guys are way more active than me though!!! confession im drunk right now. me and my sis were bored of being snowed in but im still reading ur answers seriously.

idk what id be like now without you all. im serious. i wish i knw yall in person so we could hang out, bond in person and become friends/distract eachother from BED. makeks me sad.

anyway i love yall and yall have been helping me SO much-more than any of my friends or sisters. be back tomorrow<3 xoxoxooxo thanks girls<3

Posted 6 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey girl...haha you are drunk posting? Are you exercising? Just curious because that will help us know what kind of calorie range you need to be at to be getting what you need without being in total diet mode. I know you don't want to hear about not counting calories but its something you should really consider because it seems to trigger binges for you when you go a teeny bit over your limit. I wish we could all hang out too..that would be awesome! Have fun Miss Tipsy..hope you don't have a hangover tomorrow! Hugs, Lauren

Posted 6 months ago #
Sez
Member

Lol your drunkin post was very sweet!
Girl, you said you were going to skip dinner when you had eaten like nothing all day!! Whhhat!!!? I too eat 2000plus cal's a day! Even if you are not very active you still need at least 1800! Anyways I hope you had fun with your sister! xxx
P.S my journal is Sarah's Binge eating journal 2010... (something like that lol)

Posted 6 months ago #
W
Member

I totally forgot that I drunk posted...hahahhaha, I'm loling right now. Oh gosh.

Posted 6 months ago #
W
Member

I'm currently not really exercising, but I do plan to get back in the gym this weekend. I'll probably start with just 30-40 mins. of the elliptical each day and strength training whenever I feel like it, and maybe daily yoga. The yoga I do is just gentle stretching though, not power yoga or anything so I don't really count it as exercise.

I did end up eating dinner, just late. I had a Boca burger, apple with better'n PB, and a 100 cal bag of popcorn. Then drank wine with my sister and had some drunk munchies- I think just a brownie. I'm not worried about it though

I usually never drink and last night was the first time in about 2.5 months, so it hit me hard, lol. I have a headache but I took some tylenol so hopefully it'll go away and I can eat breakfast!

Posted 6 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Oh ok..thats great your planning on getting back in the gym...I was just curious what your activity level was. Sorry you woke up feeling hungover..hopefully that Tylenol will kick in soon! Have a great day! Hugs, Lauren

Posted 6 months ago #
W
Member

Yesterday was pretty good. I stayed semi in calorie range-1750 by the days end but I'm not worried about it. Today is a cleaning/errands day and then seeing Valentine's Day with my friends tonight! =] yay

Breakfast-pineapple chobani with some shredded spoonfuls cereal, apple

Posted 6 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Glad you had a nice day!! Have fun at the movie!! Let me know how it is!! Hugs, Lauren

Posted 6 months ago #
W
Member

Thanks Lauren, I will!

L- boca burger with organic ketchup, salad with crumbled feta/cucumbers and tomatoes, 100 cal popcorn
S- clif builder's bar, 100 cal yogurt, 5 ritz with a tbsp of better'n PB

Snack was kind of binge-y because I wasn't all that hungry and felt out of control. That was 2 hours ago though and I'm still full so I guess that's good.

Posted 6 months ago #
W
Member

D- spinach salad & usual oats, chips & some whoppers =\ --total 429 cals

I think part of my problem with overeating is that I read before I need to have 5 small meals a day at 300 cals each. Sometimes I can have a meal thats only 200 cals and I'm full, but I'll still find something to match up to 300. Other times, 300 isn't enough and then I feel guilty going overboard. And if for one meal I have 360 cals, I try to cut back later...it just gets sloppy. Idk, I'll prob talk to the therapist/nutritionist and ask if there's anything I can do to stop overeating/snacking. I have chocolate on my mind all the time...I need to learn that most people have one or two sweets a day, not with every single meal. jeez.

Posted 6 months ago #
Sez
Member

Hey Hey Girl!! Lol what I think you should do is stop putting a limit on your cal's for each meal and just eat what amount you are hungry for!!! Sound logical?? Hey, I def know it can be hard at the start to let go of the counting cal's, but why not try it just for a couple of days and see how you feel? I bet you will feel better, cause when you do that you don't have the guilt from eating more than your set amount, nor do you sometimes have to eat more than you feel like to reach your limit!! And plus when you don't have the guilt you generally don't feel like binging!! xxx Sarah

Posted 6 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey XX..I agree completely with what Sarah said above but I don't want to push anything on you that you really don't want to do. But I think that trying to stick to 300 calories a meal is setting yourself up because generally a 300 meal is not going to be very big and filling and may make you feel unsatisfied and hungry quickly. Maybe keep snacks to 100-200 calories and meals to 400-500 calories..that may help. Have a nice night!

Posted 6 months ago #
cookiemonster
Member

I just wanted to say that I totally agree with the girls about setting calorie limits on your meals. Your daily needs can depend on so many different factors that it doesnt make sense to set a specific limit. We are not robots or machines and your body is smarter than you think and I am sure with time youll be able to trust it. Its better to eat bigger meals and more calories than to restrict and end up bingeing ( which messes up your metabolism even more in the end and ironically causes more damages in terms of weight maintenance). I know you will figure out whats best for you youre allready doing alot of progress ! Take care xox

Posted 6 months ago #
W
Member

I know I should stop counting cals, you guys are right. I'm just SO paranoid about going overboard.

Today was weird. Rather than being a binge-y day, it was kind of a no-eating day. I had breakfast at 9, dinner at 6 and just now had a snack. I was purposely restricting and I'd love to keep up with it but I'm being careful.

B-2 pieces WW toast with 1.5 tbsp Better'n PB, 1 small banana

D-small piece of salmon, 2 broccoli things then 1/2 an apple and 2 celery sticks
S- chocolate mint balance bar

day total-970

It's tempting to drive to McDonald's for ice cream just because I have room for it calorie wise, and it's also tempting to keep starving myself. Blahhh i dunno.

Posted 6 months ago #
Sez
Member

Hey Hun, Please don't do that it's silly, it's not going to work. I'm not being mean, but I know from 2 years experience that every time I restricted like that it lead to a binge no matter how much you don't want it too. Even if you keep it up for a while you will end up snapping and it won't be nice. The only way to beat BED is to learn to have a HEALTHY relationship with food. Sorry to disappoint you, but its the truth
xxx Sarah

Posted 6 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Honey I agree with Sarah...you are going into dangerous territory. Please don't starve your body...it will only lead you to having a major binge. This is a time to get yourself into recovery and stopping the dieting/restricting/calorie counting but you have to make the decision that that is something you really want.

Posted 6 months ago #
W
Member

Okay, okay you guys were right haha. I ended up only having a Chobani peach yogurt after last night's posting so the day total was 1092. I only had it because I was too hungry to fall asleep.

This morning, I had breakfast before the gym for a short cardio sesh and then some strength training with my friend. I restricted again at lunch and thought I'd be fine but just now I caved. Blah

B-cashew cookie larabar
S-medium coffee
L-pear, mini cookie, spinach/bell pepper/grape tomato salad
S-2 mini cookies, Oreo, blueberry chobani and 100 cal popcorn

Posted 6 months ago #
W
Member

YUCKKKK now I really really messed up. My sis got us all a box of chocolates for V-Day and I just ate the whole thing. It was a box of 6 so Im looking on the bright side-at least it wasn't bigger because who knows what I would have done. Now I feel sick

Day total now=1298

Posted 6 months ago #
W
Member

Great. Just went downstairs and had 2 more of those damn cookies, a mug of cocoa puffs cereal and some chips.

clearly starving = bad idea

Posted 6 months ago #
W
Member

This isn't good or anything but I read that as a diabetic, not taking insulin can lead to weight loss. I did it in the fall and lost weight but felt sick all the time so I stopped. I think I'm going to do it again for like 2 days just to balance it out. I know it's not a good idea but I'm going to try not to binge and just eat normally.

Last time I did it, I used it as an excuse to binge because "it didn't matter". Obviously it's not healthy but I'm getting desperate.

Posted 6 months ago #
Sez
Member

Oi girl im a type one diabetic and that is the most STUPID thing you can do. You are wreaking your body for the sake of being thin. How FUCKING stupid is that?? You get kidney damage, you can go blind, you get heart disease, you look like shit and are thirsty and need to piss all the time, you skin goes dry and scaley and whats worse is that your sugars are under crap control so it will make you crave sweets anyway and get a discusting taste in you mouth. Yeah I admit I did it once for one week. I nearly died. I got the worst mouth infection ever and I felt like crap. t's a really stupid thing to do. Please don't do it love. Please.

Posted 6 months ago #
Sez
Member

It makes me pretty much want to cry to think you are going to do that. It shows that you really need help, if you are considering that. I'm not saying that i'm doing great atm either, but I would not consider that ever again. I saw a vid of a chick on youtube who did it and she is now blind in one eye and got kidney damage. And she gained all the weigh back anyway as soon as shes started her shots again, because it's mainly only water weight that you will lose. I know cause I lost about 10kg in 10weeks when i was diagnosed. As soon as I started giving insulin I gained it back within 10-15weeks and during that time I was eating a normal amount of food.

Posted 6 months ago #
Hope777
Member

hi girlie. It seems that you are taking some drastic measures here. The BEST way to loss weight for the long run is to stop bingeing. The way you can do that is by eating a healthy amount of calories and not resitricting. pleeeeeeeeeease dont stop taking your insulin. I promise you can loose weight and be happy with your body in other ways.

Posted 6 months ago #
Sez
Member

Sorry if I sounded rude before I was in a bad mood cause I just binged earlier today lol. But pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee don't do it hun!!!!!!! You know its silly! xxx sarah

Posted 6 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey XX...hon you have got to really stop with these crazy weight loss ideas..they are only going to lead to bingeing and to seriously damaging your body. Sarah is right...not taking your insulin is insane. Being thin is not worth being blind, losing a foot, or having kidney damage. And if you keep restricting and eating WAY to little each day, the binges will keep coming back. Please focus on eating a normal amount each day, without restricting and this will help minimize the binges and lead to long-term weight loss. I know you are struggling and it sounds like we are all being harsh but what you are considering doing is way to dangerous for you for us to sit here and be supportive of it.

Posted 6 months ago #
thepurplerabbit
Member

XX, I can't believe it's been so long since I read your journal! It's because I couldn't find it in the long list since it doesn't have your name on it ... so I was wondering where you went! I just caught up with everything though and I will definitely be back. I won't forget this time

Let me echo everything Lauren, Sarah, and Liz said -- try to be objective for a second. You're considering doing drastic, dangerous things that could seriously harm your body just to be thin. Maybe those drastic, dangerous things will work - they probably will, they'll probably make you lose weight for a few months or even more. But what happens when that time is over? You can't keep going to those extreme measures forever, and eventually you'll probably gain the weight back, be more depressed, and be much more unhealthy than when you started. Not to mention that you could be putting your life at risk, ESPECIALLY if you're diabetic. It is NOT worth it. You can lose weight by being healthy and ending your eating disorder for good - and that might be a little slower, but it will last your entire life. I know it's hard but you can do it, we all believe in you and we want to help you.

I really think a big problem is that you restrict too much. Putting calorie limits on days and saying you messed up when you eat some junk food just makes your body think the only way it's free to get what it wants is by bingeing. Try to stop counting calories and just listen to whether you're hungry or full - your body will tell you the amount of calories it needs! some days it needs a little more, some days a little less. And it's totally ok if you eat unhealthy foods sometimes! I've been doing that and losing weight - the trick is to let your body know it can have what it wants, and then you're not tempted to eat as much of it.

I hope you feel better soon but again I want to stress that you shouldn't do anything drastic. Don't hurt yourself, you deserve better than that. We're all there for you and we don't mean to sound controlling but what you're thinking of doing is serious. Just don't, okay? We'll help you find a better way

Love, Rabbit <3 <3 <3

Posted 6 months ago #

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