I guess I just need somewhere to vent to others suffering the same problem. I just binged again. A piece of multigrain bread with almond butter and dark chocolate, a bowl of Special K cereal with a banana and almond milk, like 5 chocolate graham cookies with almond butter, an Ezekial bread sandwich with almond butter and apple butter+banana, and another bowl of Special K cereal with a banana and almond milk…and a bunch of almond butter.
This is one of the weaker binges. But I’m so tired of relapsing. I try to be strict and I binge. I try to be laid back and I binge. I think I’ll finally look into some psychological help, I thought I could fix this all on my own before. I’ve dealt with disordered eating since about 4th grade. I’ve gone through it all, not eating, eating too much, purging what I’ve eaten. Recently though it’s been all about the binging, before that it was all about the starvation.
Whenever I binge, I try to forgive myself, eat a normal breakfast and continue my day. Sometimes it works, and other times I just end up in the same situation I’m in now.
It’s exhausting. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to join this board, it might even help.
I’ve been reading Food: The good girl’s drug and it describes me about 90%. I’ll try and “forgive” myself tomorrow, but this is just such a tedious process.
I’m still very young and I don’t want to be dealing with this for the rest of my life. I want to enjoy life and not only be preoccupied by food. I understand healthy eating, I would love to be a nutritionist. But with my relationship with food, there is no way.
This is a lot to be read, and I apologize for that, I just needed to get this off my chest.
I wish the best of luck to you and I am in the same kind of situation. I began binge eating because os starvation. But i realized the only way to avoid it is to give you body what it wants. do not be too strict, or too laid back, do not have too many rules, and dont hold the guilt inside, you need to forgive youself. Instead of starting new everyday, how about every moment, if you struggle in the morning that is no excuse to keep struggling all day.
Also, That sounds like a good book. How do you like it.. what is it about