I could really use some support :/

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I could really use some support :/

(18 posts)

Started 8 months ago by greenbee
Latest reply from Zaina

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greenbee
Member

Hey,
I'm a very stressed out PhD student. I've always overeated, and minimally binged, but going to college I just lost control and now I binge frequently and heavily. Freshman year I gained about 15 lbs, then sophomore year 30, and then another 25 junior year. Eek that was pretty painful to admit :(. I have lost about 30 of that, and last spring I lost another 20 a little too quickly, and I have gained back about 25 since then.
I just need some help and advice on how to try to regain control :/.

Thanks,
-Mir

Posted 8 months ago #
desert dude
Member

As not being one to offer advise, I know what you've been through, I been there and done that. and have just started my journey on the right path back to healthy eating and a new me, all I can say is that we're all behind you and wish you well.

I've found lots of friendly people who have helped me and shown me the right frame of mind towards food and binging which has helped me a lot more than the various diets that I've tried in the past.
There is a wealth of info in other members journals that will help you understand and overcome your binging.

The most important things is to keep posting, as a track of your goals (and flops )

Best wishes

DD

Posted 8 months ago #
lost36
Member

Hi and welcome! I know the stressed feeling, and it can really make it hard to stop binging. Do you notice if more stress triggers binges? It does for me, but I also notice the stress seems to go down after a few days of normal eating. Start a journal here and see if it helps!

~Meghan

Posted 8 months ago #
hlthwrtr
Member

Hi, Greenbee:

I totally sympathize with what you're going thru. The yo-yoing up and down can be so depressing. But the great thing is that you're still in the fight and you're not giving up! That's awesome and that's an accomplishment. You'll get lots of encouragement from this site. Keep on posting and the people on here will help lift you up when you feel down.

:-))

Posted 8 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey there welcome. We can all identify with what you are going through. The number one thing is to not restrict or diet and to focus more on learning to have a normal relationship with food. The dieting is what always leads back to the bingeing...so its about shifting your mind away from that. You will find lots of support here and plenty of people always willing to offer advice. Good luck..you can do this! ~Lauren

Posted 8 months ago #
greenbee
Member

Thanks so much for your supportive words - I can't tell you how much I appreciate it! I will definitely keep posting to help myself try to stay on track. Thanks so much!

Posted 8 months ago #
Hope777
Member

Hi Greenbee! Welcome! Just re emphazing how much support you will get here so i hope you keep posting!!

Posted 8 months ago #
greenbee
Member

Thanks again so much!

Today started off really well - I was very careful about eating slowly and enjoying my food, trying to get out of my usual pattern of superspeed overeating.

Then I went to my mom's house, however, where my sisters and mom were baking cookies so of course I tried about one of each - but I kept it to that, so it wasn't too terrible! And dinner was pretty controlled too, so I was pretty happy about that.

I did, however, drop a little bit back into my habits as once I got home I had a piece of bread and another cookie even though I obviously wasnt hungry at all :/ I dont understand why I always feel like I need to eat something once I get home, often times its even quite soon after eating a meal. I really dont understand this awful habit of mine. Maybe it just goes back to feeling like eating needs to be secret, so once I'm home I feel like I can finally eat comfortably - even though I'm not hungry!

Anyway I feel like it was a good start at least, and I'll just try to stay even more focused tomorrow!

Thanks so much again everyone, this website is a blessing!

-GB

Posted 8 months ago #
lost36
Member

Do you know what types of food you're eating when you get home? Is it always the same type, like sweets, breads, nuts, etc? If you notice it's usually carbs, especially simple carbs like sugar or white flour, it might be your way of relaxing or de-stressing. Those types of foods actually release dopamine, so if you're feeling any sort of stress or unhappiness, it can be a subconscious way of physically making yourself feel better. You can try some different things to see if any of them lessen your urge to eat right away. Excercising naturally releases endorphins, so that might be something to try. Or sometimes just doing something different when you get home, like taking a shower or changing, anything but heading straight for the kitchen. Then you have time to really understand what your body is telling you. Eating when you get home could just be a habit, and breaking habits is more difficult than it sounds, so just changing your routine a little might help. Let us know if you try any of these and if they worked!

~Meghan

Posted 8 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hmmm...well I wonder is it because you felt guilty at all about eating the cookies at your moms? Maybe you are trying to be soo controlled with food around your family that you feel robbed of being carefree with food when you are with other people so you feel like you deserve to come home and be carefree and guilt free with food on your own? I think you did great trying to eat slowly and enjoy the food...it takes time to feel comfortable eating what you want in moderation and the more time you put behind you and the more confidence you feel in your ability to do it, the more care-free you will feel in general around food and eating around others and maybe you won't find any reason to come home and eat when you're alone.

Posted 8 months ago #
greenbee
Member

Thanks Meghan and Lauren, that's very helpful advice!
I'm definitely going to focus on changing both the way I eat and the habits I have built that include them.
Hopefully today will be easy...

Thanks everyone for keeping me motivated!

Posted 8 months ago #
greenbee
Member

Ok its been a few days, but things have been good. Well I definitely ate too much on christmas eve and christmas. but since then i've been eating healthy and actually following the south beach diet.

my bf and i broke up today so that hopefully wont distract me from staying on track and under control :/

i feel good about the way i've been eating though

thanks again everyone!

Posted 8 months ago #
Lauren
Member

aw sorry to hear about you and your boyfriend. Hope you're doing ok. Stay strong...good job with the eating! ~Lauren

Posted 8 months ago #
break the cycle
Member

hi greenbee,

i know exactly what your going through with the schooling. i'm a Doctor now but was a student for years....it is so stressful knowing you have to sit down and learn and study so much for hours. food was a great copeing mechanism, you study and have your bag of chips or pretzels or whatever beside u to get you through. i actually looked forward to going to the store before a big test to pick out whatever my snack of choice to get me through. and of course, i ate the whole bag..oh, but i would leave a handful at the bottom so i could tell myself the next day, "i didnt eat the WHole bag"

i know what your going through. when i graduated, my schedule wasnt as hectic and i wasnt confined to the library or my desk studying all the time, therefore not eating nearly as much as i was. i was able to get active and start a routine with exercising. i lost 15lbs just from not being a student.. so hang in there, your not always going to be at this stress level, your free time is right around the corner. : )

Posted 8 months ago #
greenbee
Member

thanks for your posts break the cycle and lauren,

i have been doing a good job of keeping things under control until today

i think at the end of the day i havent eaten too far over my calorie limit, also at least i stuck to foods allowed on my diet (south beach). but i definitely fell back into that place where i was both eating when i wasnt hungry and i felt a loss of control as i kept going back for more. i even set limits for myself that i didnt follow. i have been insanely stressed out for the last week and a half and i know that it killed my appetite so that has actually helped me stop binging, but today i was less stressed about what i've been freaking out about (combination of guy + exam yesterday) and more stressed about different issues with the guy and procrastination. i think procrastination might be a huge source of my desire to eat... im not really sure though. Argggg why cant life be more simple :/ anyway hopefully ill do better tomorrow.

thanks everyone

Posted 8 months ago #
break the cycle
Member

I know all abt the stress eating steming from guys/school etc. Usually I feel the urge to eat when I know I have a ton of stuff to do. It is like I'm fueling myself up for it but with stress added in, you just want to numb your mind with food. Gosh its so hard.
I've been pretty much binge free for 10days and I still think about allowing myself one time to just let loose and binge on everythng I can't have. I hate have the jeckel and hyde in me. I'm such a healthy eater bc I like healthy food....I also like bad food also and giving in. So much harder to work on this than I thought.

Try to do yoga or go for a walk to clear ur head. The urges will pass, u just have to distract urself

Posted 8 months ago #
skinnybinger
Member

Of course you will do better tomorrow! Just thinking that already means you are pushing yourself in a positive direction. It's very hard to do, but we must learn to forgive ourselves for our little lapses and shortcomings, and begin again. You sound like you really have a lot on your plate (pun totally intended!) so it's almost inevitable that you will be stressed, and there's something so wonderfully numbing about food... ::blinks:: ::looks around:: Right. Where was I? I don't know who I am to be giving advice, I'm in the same boat, but just know that we're all here for you.

Posted 8 months ago #
Zaina
Member

hi greenbee and welcome to the forum
i just wanna tell u that the eating once i'm home is a HUGE problem for me too
its like no matter how much i've eaten outside , i still eat when i get back !!!!
i could relate to u a lot and especially with the visits to ur mom's house ,,tell me abt it !!

Posted 7 months ago #

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