Binge Eating Forum » Binge Eating Support - General Comments, Questions, and Posts

hopefully this will help

(13 posts)

  1. oliveee89
    Member

    Hi everyone!

    My name is zoe i'm 16 and I am a binge eater. I HATE that I do this to myself but I feel like I just can't stop.

    I don't really know how to start this journal...i've never done anything like this.

    I just binged. I ate 10 peanut butter chocolate buckeyes that I made. GDSFJALSDKFJADSLKF. I got home from school and was home alone so I decided to make them. Before I knew what was happening I had mixed 1/4 cup pb, 2/3 cup powdered sugar, 3 tbs butter, and melted chocoalte and made the buckeyes. and then i ate ALL OF THEM.

    here is what I know about my binges:
    1.) They always happen when I'm alone
    2.) It is always with sweet foods (ice cream, cookies, cookie dough, peanut butter cups etc)
    3.) prime time for a binge is after school on days when I go home alone (3-6 pm) or weekend nights if I have no plans and my mom is out.

    It stressed me out soo much after I've binged and I have no idea what to do. I've tried to tell my mom but she doesn't think its a big deal and says that all teenagers binge sometimes. I don't think she gets that this happens 3-4 times a week.

    please help!!! THank you. I will be posting food diaries on here everday

    Posted 5 months ago #

  2. oliveee89
    Member

    Here is what I ate so far today:

    B: 1 non fat greet yogurt with 1 TBS honey and 1/8 cup granola.
    S: 1 glazed donut and 1 tangerine
    L: 1 half of a falafel sandwich and 1 tangerine
    S: 10 Buckeye candies (WHY DID I EAT THIS!?)

    Posted 5 months ago #

  3. oliveee89
    Member

    so I just finished dinner.

    I had roasted cauliflower and roasted brusslesprouts.

    I worked out tonight because I felt guilty for eating all those peanut butter chocolate candie thigns. I ran for 30 min and did 20 min on the eliptical.

    I am making a pact tomorrow that i will not binge! I hope I follow through...

    Posted 5 months ago #

  4. Hil87
    Member

    Hey Zoe! It's good that you know what causes you to binge, that's one of the first big steps to beating this. The next thing is we can't beat ourselves up for the slip ups that happen and they will happen because we aren't perfect. I'll admit right away that it is tough, but I think I'm learning from all the tough moments I have. I believe that you will get through this! ~Hillary

    Posted 5 months ago #

  5. Lauren
    Member

    Hey Zoe! Welcome to the site. Hm well are you trying to diet outside of your binges? or do you feel like its more out of stress/boredom? Maybe finding something you could do during that afternoon period when you are alone to keep busy would help. Keep posting and you'll find lots of support here ~Lauren

    Posted 5 months ago #

  6. hlthwrtr
    Member

    Hey, Zoe!

    Posting and getting your feelings down on paper is the best thing to do right now. You need to figure out what is driving your binge. If you're bored, restricting food, tired, or whatever it is, you've got to find out what's up. Once you do that, you'll know how to address the binge. I know you felt guilty about what you ate; I've been there. But try not to beat yourself up. You're human and you're trying your best, so don't put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect b/c that can make you binge, too. Keep writing down your feelings on this site and try to use the exercise as a way to unravel the workings of your mind. I'm always having an AHA moment on the treadmill, so before you work out, do a little meditation to allow your mind to be open and the answers will come to you. I'm cheering for you.

    China

    Posted 5 months ago #

  7. oliveee89
    Member

    Thank you soo much you guys! You all seem so nice and reading your responses helped me continue to think about my bingeing problem.

    lauren- you asked me if i'm on a diet and that brings me to a little bit of a touchy subject.

    Last summer- June 2009 - I weighed 25 pounds heavier than I do right now. My bingeing had gotten out of control (even more than it is right now). Every single day I was bingeing and then during my regular meals I was overeating too.

    In July I visited family of mine in france. It turns out french people are very blunt when it comes to your weight and 3 people told me I was overweight (I didn't even know the people very well and they just told me that to my face). It was so frustrating because I couldn't really be mad at them because I knew I was overweight. So during my month in France I started eating better and going on long walks everyday. When I say "eating better" I mean that I stopped allowing myself to have seconds. I did not restrict any foods, I just didn't overeat the foods I craved. Also I didn't binge at all in france because I had no opportunity to do so.

    So, at the end of the month I came home having lost 10 pounds and I felt great. At the same time though, I was TERRIFIED of gaining the weight back. I figured that now since I would be able to eat whenever I wanted, I would. So I started eating a lot less. I restricted most breads from diet (like pasta) and I did not eat any dessert type things because I was afraid that if I started eating one of the foods I used to binge on that I would start bingeing again everyday. I also started exercising way too much (2-3 hours a day).

    My parents didn't notice because I would exercise during the day while they were at work and I would eat when they were home but that would be the majority of the food for that day. They did start to notice something was up when I continued to lose weight.

    Now I am better (kind of), in the fact that I'm not restricting my foods all the time. Instead what I do now is I binge 2-4 times a week and then dieting and restricting foods all the time when I'm not on a binge.

    It seems all I know how to do is overeat or undereat. I cannot find that balance of just eating normal which is what I really want.

    Posted 5 months ago #

  8. oliveee89
    Member

    food diary so far today

    B- yogurt parfait from starbucks (low-fat yogurt, granola, and fruit)
    L- went to an Indian restaurant - (rice with curry sauces, 2 fritters with Indian yogurt sauce)

    right now I'm home alone and all I want to do is binge but instead I am writing on hear. I'm not hungry but like I know that eating will make me feel good. But I made a pact that I wouldn't binge today. BUT ALL I WANT RIGHT NOW ARE COOKIES OR SOMETHING!

    Posted 5 months ago #

  9. Hil87
    Member

    Zoe - It is good that you're recognizing what causes binges and you're trying to not let it happen. Getting on here and writing was a great idea. If you are truly hungry why don't you allow yourself to have 1 or 2 cookies so that they don't feel restricted and off limits to you and that later you won't binge on them. If you decide to eat one you should enjoy it so that you're satisfied with it and don't feel the need to binge on all of them. I know this all seems tough and like a balancing act, but you can do it by listening to your body and actually allowing yourself to have a little of the things you enjoy. -Hillary

    Posted 5 months ago #

  10. oliveee89
    Member

    so I just went out to dinner.

    heres what I ate

    -escargo in a butter sauce
    -split an entree with a friend - i ate two seared scallops in a curry sauce
    -creme brule

    not the healthiest dinner but at least I didn't binge today (and haven't yet tonight). I am proud of myself though. I could have snuck chocolate chips up to my room or ice cream but I didn't!
    I feel good. Just writing all this stuff down is really helping me!

    Posted 5 months ago #

  11. oliveee89
    Member

    I am going to nyc tomorrow for a week. I have a couple afternoons where I'm just alone and I am freaking out I'm going to binge (aka go to cupcake shop after cupcake shop eating cupcakes)

    any suggestions on how I can beat this?

    Posted 5 months ago #

  12. Lauren
    Member

    Hey there..just catching up on your journal. Hmm yeah it sounds like you were doing pretty well with intuitive type eating in France..and sorry to hear about their rudeness there with the comments. Coming home and having that strict diet and excessive exercise plan is what probably brought those binges back full force. It is hard to get to the place where you don't restrict or over eat but with time and retraining your mind with how to think about yourself, your body, and food, you will get there. Thats great that you got thru the day binge free!! I would say when you are in NYC don't have rules. Don't say you can't/shouldn't have any cupcakes. If one day you are in the mood for a cupcake, go get one, enjoy it and don't feel bad about it. Setting rules against doing anything there will just set you up for bingeing so watch out for that! you will be fine though!

    Posted 5 months ago #

  13. Hil87
    Member

    I completely agree with what Lauren said. If you feel like a cupcake have one and make sure to enjoy it. Then after eating it don't have any negative feelings about it or feel like you should restrict. The strict rules will often lead to binging. Have fun in NYC! -Hillary

    Posted 5 months ago #

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