I am no where near recovered. But i have a thought last night that kind of changes everything. For so long, after recovering from anorexia, and obviously developing BED i was so focused on weight. I still had the anorexic mind set, i wanted to look emacicated and boney and sickly thin. As time has passed i feel i yearn for that less but just a slender body, like Beyonce. But as i said, i had a thought last night and i realised that there is just no way that im going to be able to recover if im focusing on weight. I think i may be finally accepting that on the road to recovery im going to have binge days and lapse’s but eventually i will get there, and the weight i am now, only reflects my disorder, so when i have recovered, and i WILL recover, i will be able to lose the weight healthily and have the body i want. Im currently 5’3 and 13 stone. I wouldnt say im severely overweight but im deffiently not happy, but im finally accepting that my weight is just going to have to hold of until im better emotionally and psychologically. I hope you can read this and take something from it, because i think ive realised if we are focusing on how much we weigh whilst trying to recover from this illness, its going to make us more frustrated. Try and think that when we recover WHICH WE MOST DEFFIENTLY CERTAINLY WILL! then we will be free to healthily lose weight and acchieve the body we wish. All my love
I love this Beth. Thank you. The more I can love my body, as it is during this process, the better off I will be. So often I binge because I am unhappy with my body because I have unrealistic expectations (like sickly skinny-ew) and it leads to eating. This is a huge realization. Thank you.