Binge Eating Forum

Support to stop binge eating, stop emotional eating, and stop overeating.

Binge Eating Forum » Introductions

1. 

   Rainbow
   Member

   Hi everybody!

   First of all, I'm from Germany so please excuse any mistakes concerning spelling and grammar
   I'm 20 years old and for about a year I've been struggling with BED.
   How everything started? With a diet of course. To tell the truth I never had weight problems and dieting was probably a very stupid idea weighting 123 pounds at 5"6, right? Yeah... Well I did it just vor fun. Like: Oh, let's count kalories haha! Then I started to lose weight and I kind of liked the attention. Everybody was so concerned and people where always telling me to eat...Furthermore I was execising very much then which made me lose even more weight. In about a month I reached 112 pounds. Then everything got out of control. I began bingeing. It's important to know that I ate absolutely everything before my diet. I ate sweets every day (and always a whole package), I visited Burger King with a friend at least once a week at 11 pm, I used 4 spoons sugar in a cup of hot chocolate... and really that was no BED. I enjoyed it, I kept my weight and I never ever ever had a bad thought about my behaviour.
   So I think it's not surprising that a diet deprieved me of these things and made me want to eat them again.
   After a binge I always started dieting again (I never puked or used something) and for about 7 months I weighted about 115 pounds. Then everything got worse...I had many binges and lost all of my control. Of course I gained weight. I was devastated and slowly got depressions, even though people told me it's ok to have a BMI of about 19.

   At the moment my biggest wish is to be healthy. I really don't want to go back as I now realize that my eating habits were horrid and absolutely unhealthy. I just want to stop thinking about food or dieting or my weight. I want to accept me. When I think realstic about it I don't understand myself. Why am I not satisfied? Every healthy person would tell me I'm crazy, complaining about my weight. I just want to be normal and happy. On some days I can't even leave my bed... I don't shower, I'm just lying there with a vakuum in my head. It's horrible. I even hurt myself on some occasions as I couldn't put up with the pressure any longer...
   Well enough with the selfpity.
   Thank you for reading this!

   Posted 1 month ago #
2. 

   jacquirsw1
   Member

   You sound like you may actually be depressed, have you gone to your dr at all. there are different types of depression and they are treated differently.

   you are right about needing to stop dieting to help with the bed. one of the things I found hardest was my brain telling me that if I stopped dieting I would gain loads of weight, but the reality is I was gaining loads of weight dieting because of the binging, so if I don't diet I binge less so I do gradually lose weight.

   You will get there, this group is fantastic, really supportive.

   Jacqui

   Posted 1 month ago #
3. 

   Rainbow
   Member

   No but I plan to visit a doctor at the beginning of next year as I couldn't cope with a therapy at this particular time... first I want to concentrate on my studies an do my exams. It's difficult because I live in 2 towns with 4 hours of driving between them and I neverreally know when I'm staying where...

   Well I don't know...I thought it wouldn't be really healthy for me to lose weight... but it sounds tempting...might be a good motivation to think that..

   Posted 1 month ago #
4. 

   jacquirsw1
   Member

   The reason that I lose weight is because I am over my healthy weight range.

   If you are in your healthy weight range what you will find if you stop dieting and gain control of your binging that your body will stabalise into it's healthy weight.
   This might mean that if you are below where your body is designed to be that you do gain a little before you platauex, or it might be that you just stay the same as you are at the moment, but given your starting weight you are unlikely to lose any more. That was just my experience

   Jacqui

   Posted 1 month ago #
5. 

   specialk_sunnylee
   Member

   I'm really glad you found this forum , in Germany! im not an expert but all i want to tell you is start getting andrew's emails which tell you different stories and show you videos... and start writing journals on your own or on this website. i found these stuff quite helpful. one more thing.. we have to believe in ourselves that we can be normal and happy! if you keep thinking that everything is terrible, things are only gonna get worse. i know that you cant completely stop thinking about weight but we gotta move on to our life. have some fun:).. right?

   anyway, i really hope you find this forum helpful -!

   Sunny <<333

   Posted 1 month ago #
6. 

   Rainbow
   Member

   Hm-- well I'm not really afraid of gaining weight,always had a good metabolism and I never overstept 123 pounds, even if ate 3000 kalories for two weeks this weight always stayed constant....but hey this isn't about weight, righ?
   Thank you for the tip with tje emails

   Posted 1 month ago #

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