Hi im new and have problems ...which is why im here

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Hi im new and have problems ...which is why im here

(62 posts)

Started 1 month ago by courtney_m
Latest reply from Sez

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courtney_m
Member

hey my name is courtney,
i just binged actually but ill take ou back to the begining in 9th grade i went through some drastic measures to loose weight about a year later it ended up being prettyscary i was very skinny, but it didnt last for long i started bingeing nightly and gaine 70 pounds, ive lost about 20 pounds so im around 150 (im short by the way) and 4 years later the binginghad not completely gone away. i exercise about 4 days a week or when i can get it into my schedule (im a full time student in college) and i have gone three months without binging before but the last six months i seem to have binged one or two times a month, but recently ive been out of control again 6 times in the past 3 weeks =[ i try to have a good balance eating about 1500 cals a day but i dont know what the probem is sometimes its lonleyness or what happened today boredom and always feeling like i have to eat something. it just sucks i have such a horrible stomache i just want to be healthy =[ this takes over my life it sucks.

Posted 1 month ago #
excrisis
Member

Hi Courtney,

First, I am glad you are here. You have made a lot of progress in your recovery. Going from daily binging to monthly, and 3-whole months without any binging is really great. Good for you.

Secondly, I understand your situation. I went from 10 or so pounds underweight to gaining 65 pounds in a very short period of time. I completely understand how painful and life altering that can be. Sometimes I let myself get fixated on the weight loss aspect and how I hate my body, but I know that does nothing but perpetuate negative thoughts. So I try and let it go.

Do you know why you are binging? Do you think it could be because you feel stuck in your weight loss? Because it is such an important thing for you?

It is really helpful to work on letting that go. Personally, the more I obsess about it, the worse I feel, and the more likely I am to binge. Also, worrying about calories is another thing that can potentially mess me up. I go 'over' my calories, or limit certain foods, and I freak out, feel guilty, think about how I already messed up, and then binge. But again, this is just my experience.

Keep posting about how you feel and your experiences. The support on this board is really amazing.

Keep fighting,
Stephanie

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

Thanks for your response.
I feel like I binge for a couple of different reasons. Sometimes when I am alone in my dorm and am feeling lonely I binge. My boyfriend lives two states away I dont know what Id do without him, but it also sucks because I dont see him as much as I would like to so Im alone alot. Sometimes I just realize I start to eat when Im not hungry but just because its "lunchtime" when i track my calories that doesnt really trigger a binge too much, sometimes I do get upset though. I did weght myself this morning realizing the past month i gained about 6pounds and right now after the binge I just had my stomach just feels out of control huge. Sometimes I feel I may binge when I'm a little stressed out from school and work, I dont usually bige right then but at the end of the week when I'm alone in my room. Also I think that granola bars are a huge trigger food for me I'm thinking about givig them up and keeping a bare minimum of food in my room right now, I just dont think I can handle all the food I have in my room its too much of an easy access.

I sometimes think I am depressed my boyfriend is a great support system but I think right now I need to talk to people who know what I'm going through. Bingeing was getting to a every few week problem, and lately its a challenge to get by two days and I just dont know what has chnaged but I hate it.

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

can anyone else give me on what tips help them out in a time of bingeing? or what makes them happy or what works for them im having a real hard time lately...

Posted 1 month ago #
pinkpolkadots
Member

Hi Courtney! I'm a full time college student as well, and it is easy to get stressed and just start binging. I completely relate to being alone and eating too - it's easy when you're by yourself.

I'm new to the site and have been struggling with a bad case of binging since last semester. Today has been a good day

Everyone's different, but first off I would recommend avoiding your "triggers" -
whatever makes you eat. If you can't avoid it (stress), then find other ways to get rid of the extra energy like working out or simply facing whatever work you have straight on.

Also, this may seem obvious, but write down what you eat in a daily food journal. This helps me because I know that if I've had dinner I don't NEED anything else - that journal is a written record and proof of a binge, so for me it's motivation to avoid overeating.

One day at a time! Also, writing about it helps...because it's comforting to see you're not the only one

Posted 1 month ago #
thepurplerabbit
Member

Hey Courtney! I'm glad you decided to join this site, it's really helpful to have support from people who know what you're going through. I've been binge-free for a month so I'm definitely not an expert but I can try to help! So tips ... let's see:

1) Eat intuitively - basically eat what you want, when you want but don't binge. Don't label "good" or "bad" foods because being restrictive usually just leads to an eventual binge. Along with that, always eat when you're hungry, even if it's not mealtime or it's 3 in the morning. Trust yourself not to go overboard - it's tricky but it gets easier! Also don't count calories, the weight will come off without dieting if you just stop bingeing

2) come on this site and write a lot/read other people's entries. It really helps! and it's inspiring to see people who are doing well.

3) Think of the reasons you binge and try to do something about them - like for me, the underlying problem was that I was afraid about the future and that I wouldn't find something to do I'm passionate about. So I started putting myself out there more and doing things I really love and that make me happy - and even though that's not food-related it's very important because obviously we binge for reasons other than hunger

4) Try to be more social if you aren't already - bingeing sort of robs you of your social life very often and it's easy to feel really lonely.

5) If you mess up and binge/overeat forgive yourself and move on! Don't let one mistake become a week of bingeing - you haven't ruined everything if you make a few mistakes along the way.

That's what I can think of for now so I hope some of that helps! Good luck and keep posting

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

Hello pinkpolkadots thank you for your response
i do write everything that i eat down, as well as exercising. Sometimes its just hard with some extra time on my hands or extra food in my room. I know what youre saying about using the extra energy on something else like perhaps a hobby or something. sometimes im so busy with school that when i get a few hours on my own i end up like overwhelmed and binge, thats why i think i need to find something else to do thats relaxing. thankyou for the advice

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

purplerabbit,
thanks for your response! i know what you mean about the social thing, at school im very lonely actually I see a lot of people going out all the time and I think that may be a trigger. Im kind of shy but I have been trying to talk to more people lately I just feel everyone already has their little clicks and when I do talk to them theyre nice and all but not like "wanna hang out?" attitude. i dont know i just hope next year when im in a new dorm i can branch out and make more friends.

One thing I think I will have a hard time with is eating what I want, in moderate portion. Its like one side of me wants to eat healthy, i enjoy wheat, vegtables, most of the good stuff. I think I just need to find a healthy balance. SOmetimes when I get hungry when I feel like I just ate I feel as thought its wrong to eat I think thats one of my problems as well.

Oh and another thing i eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch everyday so i have a hard time with variety of food...

-courtney

Posted 1 month ago #
Nat
Member

Hey Courtney! I posted a thread on BINGE EATING ACTION PLAN. Its a great way to write out your tactics to deal with an urge to binge. Check out my Journal "Nat's Journal" and on page 3 you can see how I have filled it in myself, for some ideas. I think the power of thought it very strong in helping to overcome BED. One minute I can be totally ready to binge and if I sit with it and change my train of thought to see the bigger picture, I can do a total 180 and stop a binge. The Action Plan really helps with that. I also think it's a great idea to find time and ways to relax - i get up half an hour early before anyone else is up and I listen to peaceful music and have a coffee or go for a nice gentle walk just to clear my mind and start the day grounded instead of stressed and aloof! You can do this girly! We're all backing you up. xx

Posted 1 month ago #
Sez
Member

Hey Courtney,
I think the biggest thing for me was to stop trying to lose weight. It has been hard and admittedly I still do worry about it sometimes. But pushing these thoughts out of your mind is a good start.
Also eating when you are hungry, not going by a diet. Restricting food causes binges. It doesn't matter weather your planned diet includes 2000 cals a day or 500 cals a day you are still putting yourself at a high risk of binging by trying to stick to a calorie goal.
Hope this helps
xxx Sarah

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

thanks for your respons everyone. I feel as though giving up trying to lose weight will be a very hard thing to do. Right now Im in a blah mood so Im not thinking of it to much, the blah mood because of my huge binge last night. Amyways I think Im going to try to mix up my diet, i dont mean like my strict diet thing but I mean mix up what used to be my strict plan. I am going to try to eat different things for breakfast lunch anc stuff not like "okay one carb here or how many calories in this snack", but still eating healthy, because i do like veggies fruits and that but when i want a cookie, just like have the cookie. I dont know how that will work out, but im in college so maybe if i take the cookie and eat it on the go or back at my room for later so i dont have alot more in front of me to go to until I'm ready and strong enough to hold back.
Does that sound like a good plan? My boyfriend says like stp jotting evrything you eat down just eat healthy thorughout the day, if you want a little something bad go for it, just dont over do it kinda thing. I really hope this works. Yes I would LOVE to lose weight but I would even love to more not binge.

Im just kinda of scared of gaining weight, Im not goin g to have cookies every night or anything but Im scared that the variety and different stuff I dont know... Ill put on weight. I know I put on more weight when I binge, but i dont want to puton weight at all. See what I mean about not letting it go. Im just going to try to mix up my diet, in a healthy way for now and see how it goes

Thankyou for everyone who responded every time I get a response it makes me feel a little more important but not ignored
-courtney

Posted 1 month ago #
Nat
Member

hey courtney, i think your plan sounds so great! you can still lose weight this way remember but try not to make it your primary goal. just think 'healthy' :). I think that mixing up your meals is such a great idea, it really keeps things interestig and you dont feel deprived. I used to have a tine of plain old tuna EVERY snack.. now I mix it with low fat mayo, cucumber and red pepper and wrap it up with a lettuce leaf and it tastes SO good, i look forward to eating it and its hardly any more calories. Dont be scared to add sauces and cheese etc to make things tastier :). And like you said, if you want a cookie, eat one and dont feel guilty about it. If you're still calorie counting I highly reccommend trying to stop... it really does make you think of food 24/7 and thats not healthy. It made me so damn obsessed, i literally drooled when I saw images of cakes and chocolate! So I think your boyfriend has some good advice, what a lucky girl! Dont be scared of putting on weight, you will be binging less so eating a little more than you would when you restrict will be fine, YOU WONT put on weight.

Posted 1 month ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey Courtney! I think your plan to mix things up really sounds great. Having variety in your diet and really eating things you love really helps keep you feeling satisfied and not deprived. I think also including treats in moderate amounts REALLY helps keep the binge monster away. I know you are scared doing this will make you gain weight but I promise listening to your body and eating moderate amount when you are hungry will not make you gain weight. I have been doing this for almost 5 months and have lost 20-25 pounds. So just focus on doing what you need to do to keep the binges away (which is not focusing on weight loss and listening to your body) and the weight will come off slowly on its own. I know its hard to let go of that strict plan and take yourself out of your comfort zone but I promise the pay off is worth it! NO BINGEING! Your doing great though...keep posting! ~Lauren

Posted 1 month ago #
Sez
Member

Hey Courtney,
Remember this... If you have a huuuuge binge you might put on one pound. Then go on a diet for 3 days and lose half a pound. Then have another binge and put on 1 pound. Diet and lose half a pound. I think you get where I'm going with that.. binging is likly to lead to weight gain. If you start eating when you are hungry you won't gain weight (unless you are underweight and your body needs to). You will maintain your weight and possibly even lose a little bit. I agree with your bf, stop counting cal's and just eat what you like healthy or not. You will end up making more healthy choices than you think. You're goal for now should be not binging, just take it one day at a time and see how you go. I don't think you should weight yourself or aim to lose weight during your time of recovery, but hey you never know you might lose a few pounds along the way too.
xxx Sarah

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

hey sarah and lauren thankyou so much for responding to me.
lauren, thats awesome that you lost weight, i know it shouldnt be my main focus but like today i put my pants on and i can just feel how tight they are getting and its not fun. im tryong to mix it up and not always eat the same things everyday, yesterday i even had a rice krispie treat from the dining hall, i know it sounds weird saying wow i had that lol but previously i would have probably felt very guilty and probably would have binged after (like that ever solves anything. thanks for the response once again it means a lot

sarah,thanks for the good advice Im hoping over time everything will just fall back into place, its day two on doing this eat what I feel like I want kind of things, I still find myself choosing a lot of healthy options as well. I went to the gym today and ate what I felt like i didnt have any cakes or cookies or anything like that but once a week or so im going to try to have a cookie or something like that. i know i want to lose weight and i may never fully let go of that but right now I just want to feel good about myself and healthy. When I say good about myself I mean like I'm eating correctly and going to the gym and whatnot I hope in the end it works in my favor.

2days binge free with my new way of eating =]

-courtney

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

also thanks nat i checked out that post im going to go reread it and look into that =]

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

oh and nat thanks for your advice on mixing up my meals, that tuna sounds good when i go home ill have to make that haha

you guys it means so much for you guys responding it really makes me feel like someone is taking out the time in their day to give me advice i love it here and i only joined a few days ago =]

Posted 1 month ago #
Nat
Member

hey courts! congrats on day two. i know its hard to let go of the weight loss thoughts but it will happen over time. Each day I try to focus on something that I like about my body and all day I just focus on that one thing. SO instead of seeing my thunder thighs in every reflection, I focus on my toned arms it honestly has helped me a great deal and I start to see so many things that I actually do like about myself instead of being so close minded. What is something that you like about yourself today?

x

Posted 1 month ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey Court!! I think that is great you ate that rice crispie with no guilt and it didn't lead to a binge! Girl I have had something like almonds lead to a binge out of guilt so I get you there! No its ok to want to lose weight, I certainly did too, its just about not making it the priority. The weight loss comes from having a normal relationship with food and not bingeing. Kick the bingeing and the weight will slowly come off!

Posted 1 month ago #
Sez
Member

Hey Courtz!!
Its good to hear that you're trying to focus on not binging and feeling good about yourself.
I think for me the weight loss mentality has not completely gone, but I have been giving it much less thought lately. I also find that now I'm aiming for a much more realistic goal for my weight than I used to be. And I believe that once I reach this goal through healthy, intuitive eating and moderate exercise I will properly pretty much not give the weight thing much more thought. Where as before even when I was underweight I was still trying to lose weight... ED makes us soo screwed up arrrgh!!
have a good night girl!
xxx sez

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

Hey everyone thanks for the advice. three days down..well today isnt over but ojkay 2.5 days! lol Anyways another thing I did today which I couldnt believe was have about a handful of trail mix and thats it. I bought a bag at the little store near my dorm after class, and trail mix was a pretty big binge food for me, I couldnt just eat some I always wanted more and more, but i had a handful (along with a little no sugar added hot chocolate lol ) and Im feeling satisfied. On one hand Im glad I'm satisifed and not saying I shouldnt eat for X hours and until lunch or something but one thing that is on my mind is I dont want to gain weight from eating this extra food. I know Im eating more than I used to, I know I ate more when I binged and everything but for a while I didnt binge when I was on my eating plan, maybe once a month, now I have about 6 times in the past three and a half weeks so thats why Im doing this, but even on my 1400ish calorie days before it was hard for me to loose weight and I exercised about 75 min 4 times a week. So I just think that if I can eat normally (without binges I mean) Im still eating more than I was when I wasnt even losing weight. I know its not about losing weight right now, Id be semiokay to just maintain for a while as long as Im not binging, but the thing is I dont want to gain weight weither =[
I dunno just my midmorning thoughts .

-courtney

Posted 1 month ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey Court! Great job with the trail mix..that is huge!!! Girl you are not going to gain weight from eating a bit extra..you know with 75 minutes of exercise a day, 1400 calories is a really restrictive diet that may have been seriously putting you in starvation mode and slowing down your metabolism so that may have been why you weren't losing weight! You may find yourself actually losing more weight now because you are reving up your metabolism eating more and more frequently throughout the day. Don't worry, even if you just maintain for awhile, if you aren't bingeing, you aren't going to gain weight. Just keep moving forward and focus on kicking the bingeing. Your doing great girlie! ~Loz

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

Hey Lauren,
thanks for the speedy reply! It makes me feel good that someone cares! I know i tried to restrict my diet and exercise alot so my metabolism isnt that dandy. also a few years ago about 4 actually i was kinda anarexic eating 200 or 300 calories a day with alot of exercise for a few months which slowed it down alot. then i became a binger which is why i put on alot of weight quickly. So basically Im trying to say that my metabolism is probably a little messed up. I hope the weight naturally falls off but who knows. I have had a really stressful few days and dont have the urge to binge (yet =o ) and I hope I can keep it up, weekends are the hardest but this weekend my boyfrien is coming up and next weekend Im visiting home so at least I'll be keeping busy and hopefully I wont get anxious and my food will be under control. I hope I can keep this up 2.5 days down, just trying to take it one day at a time. Thanks for the reponds once again you gusy are the best

-courtney

Posted 1 month ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey Court..yeah I totally get what you are saying. I think I used to have a SUPER fast metabolism but once I started the serious restricting/bingeing cycles and crazy ups and downs of my weight I think I messed it up..but it doesn't make weight loss impossible so just focus on not bingeing and eating when you are hungry and I promise things will level out with your bod! I'm so happy to hear that you have had no urge to binge with the last few stressful days you've had! Thats great...at least you have two good weekends coming up to look forward to! Have a great night! ~Loz

Posted 1 month ago #
jacquirsw1
Member

Hey you are doing well.

In answer to your question yes over time if you stop restricting and binging your bodies metabolism will go back to normal.
I could go into the physiological stuff but it is boring. Just believe it will happen, but just like messing it up didn't happen over night neither will it sorting itself out.

Sounds like you have a busy couple of weekends which is good. I hope you have a good rest of the day

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

awe thanks for the replies guys! i hope i can keep this up! I hope that my metabolism fixes itself over time. thanks for the support

Posted 1 month ago #
Sez
Member

Hey Courtz!
I've recently read an article that says that although anorexia, bulimia etc can mess with your metabolism for a short time, that when you go back to eating normally it will soon return to normal as well!
You're doing great girl!! Keep it up. One day at a time!!
Lots Love Sarah xox

Posted 1 month ago #
Nat
Member

Hey Courts, you CAN do this! You're already on day 3 yes? Dont worry about eating a little more, i was the same being scared of putting on weight but ive lost about 5kgs while eating normally (thats including sweets!). it wont take long for your metabolism to catch up, your body is smart like that, the more you eat the faster it will work to burn it off. xx

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

hi girls! oh that is so relieveing to hear!! I was on day three today but arounf 4 oclock i wa hungry. I had work at 430 and knew my dinner break was around 5 so I didnt want to eat and kept thinking let me eat a little to hold me over, but i dont wanna not be hungry then and have to wait til I got out around 9 and one thing lead to another and i started out with a couple soy crips and a yogurt which I was fine with then I felt a little anxious. so i had 3 granola bars and about a cup and a half of trail mix.... =[ it wasnt a huge binge or anything but i felt my tummy bloat up, I ended up eating a potato veggie buger, a triangle of tofu, and a grilled onion (grilled onion=so yummy!) for dinner and nothing at night just drinking some water (eat alot making me so thirsty) it wasnt a full on binge lay in bed and get a huge tummy ache but it was like getting a tummy ache for a bit, still feeling a little bloated tonight as well. I know it wasnt a huge binge but i still felt out of control which scares me. Tomorrow my boyfriends visiting me and he gets her late at night and i only have morning and early afternoon classes and I really hope I go to the gym but sometimes day after I have tummy aches my stomach gets very uncomfortable at the gym, so this all depends on how I feel in the morning but I hope I go, my stomach is still a little bloated now.
Im not sure to count today as a binge free day or not, I did get a little out of control and probably ate a lot of calories, I hope I go to the gym tomorrow and feel comfortable and whatnot.

Thanks for the replies everyone its so nice to have someone to talk to and someone who cares because they know what im talking about. hope everyone has a good friday!
xo-courtney

Posted 1 month ago #
Nat
Member

hey hun, the main thing is that you didnt binge.. the rest is just part of the journey so try not to stress. also , the bloating could be from anything! is it time of the month? the weather? drinking enough/too much water? Defiintely DO NOT count today as a binge lovely

Posted 1 month ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey Court...eh don't worry about what happened at work and whether you label it as a binge/over-eat. It sounds like it started because you got anxious...maybe about trying to hold out for dinner....so just use this experience as a lesson to make sure you go ahead and eat a snack when you get hungry, even if dinner is around the corner....and that you need to find a way to release anxiety (take a 5 minute break to sit in the bathroom and take some deep breaths, go have a quick de-stressing chat with a co-worker) something to help you thru that initial anxiety as it will pass on its own without needing to eat to numb/suppress it. No worries...just learn from it and move on! Hope you wake up not too bloated, get right back on track and enjoy your day with your boyfriend! Big hugs, loz

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

Thanks guys. New day to get through today. Nat you were right about it being m y time of the month happened this morning ( TMI i know but maybe thats why I was more hungry yesterday or something ) I dont know, not an excuse to be binging. Anyways now that I got that today I hope I still go to the gym and whatnot. Im sure itll all work out fine....or I hope. the main thing that is upsetting me is that say Im on day 4 on my no binge thing, its like day 4 and yes I;m taking it one day at a time, but before this past month. Everyday wasnt a struggle just maybe once a month or twice, I just feel like Im going downhill. Maybe itd because I was exercising and eating abour 1400-1500 cals a day that its catching up to me that I need to eat more, because when I was doing that I wasnt losing any weight. Im just scared to be eating more and exercising that if I wasnt even losing weight before Im just eating more so Ill ust over time gain. Or even to get my metabolism up for now I know Im eating more during the day ( or trying to without guilt) but Im just afraid Ill gain like 15pounds before itll level out or something I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM SAYING that didnt really make sense.
ugh im just nervous about this whole thing......

-Courtney

Posted 1 month ago #
Lauren
Member

oh honey calm down and take a deep breath Please try and stop worrying about the weight issues. This is the best way to look at it, if you don't learn here how to have a normal relationship with food by intuitive eating, then chances are likely that yeah you may have some good periods where you eat well and exercise and lose the extra weight, but then you will always cycle back into bingeing if you haven't learned how to eat normally and cope with other ways than eating....BUT if you just focus now on a healthy relationship with food, you will slowly lose the extra weight and HAVE A LIFE! and be able to keep it off permanently. So just try to do the best you can to stop worrying about the weight loss factor. If you aren't bingeing...that is what matters. Just try and trust in the process. I have lost at least 20 pounds eating EVERYTHING that I want, decreasing my exercise, and eating more than I ever did. So your body will take care of itself. Promise. Hang in there Court! Hugs, L

Posted 1 month ago #
jacquirsw1
Member

Hey

You are doing really well.

There are going to be lots of times over the coming months when anxiety gets you and you wonder about everything but that is ok and totally normal. When you have been so used to doing things in a certain way then it would be more bizarre if you didn't get anxious when it is changing.
It is a good idea to write down when you are not anxious all of the things that are positive about what you are doing, and base it on facts, then when you are feeling anxious you can always turn back to that and remind yourself.

Posted 1 month ago #
ashrose
Member

Hey Courtney, I just started reading your journal. I can relate with your getting anxious about waiting for dinner. I will start to get that nagginf feeling in my stomach then obsess and worry about wether I should eat and what if I ruin my appetite, then eat something and think well I blew it and it turns into a binge.
I wish I had some advice on how to avoid it but when I do figure that out I promise to let you know! Just wanted to let you know that you are clearly not alone on here.
I have been trying to reflect on what the emotional triggers of my ninges could be, you should try doing that. Also I recently got a couple of workbooks on Amazon.com about intuitive eating and ending compulsive/binge eating. They talk about forgetting the diet mentality and just focusing on eating when hungry and stopping when satified and also address the emotion factors. I haven't gotten them in the mail yet but stay tuned!

We are all here for you!
<3 Ash

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

Hey everyone
Thanks for the advice Im going to try to just calm down, tonight in the dorm in actually going to a stressball making and meditation social hahaha.

ash- its so funny like 3 days ago i ordered a bingeing recovery book on amazon! I havnt gotten it in yet but I probably will next week.
Thanks for the respons everyone!

Lets see how I do this weekend... Hope everyone is going to have a great one!
xo-Courtney

Posted 1 month ago #
Sez
Member

Hey Girl, I got an overcoming binging book off amazon a while back as well.
Personally I did find it really helpful, but you really need to overcome body image issues as well before the programs in the books will work for you. And having weight loss as a priority is a too. But goodluck for you recovery.
Oh and which book did you order? Mine was called "Overcoming Binge Eating" By Dr. Christopher G. Fairburn. Was quite a good book for getting a better understanding of binging and why we do it. I didn't end up following his program exactly, but I did find some of the ideas useful.
xxx SEZ

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

ughhhhh.... tonight i was alone waiting for my boyfriend to drive up to visit me and i went to dinner before I was hungry so I felt a little bloated after. Then I was having really bad cramps (from my well cycle) and ended up eating 80cal pack fruit snack, one 80 cal yogurt, 160 cal luna bar (im not counting cals all day but im just putting what I binged on on here) and a couple soy crips.

Now that I think about it it was only about 400 calories over...then I went downstairs to get stuff out of a vending machine but then I saw my Residential Advisor and ended up talking with her instead which Im happy about because rather that than binging kind of thing. you know what I mean, but this is the 2nd day in a row I had one of those little out of control eating when I shouldnt kinda nights. =[ i feel like I ate something else but I cant really remember right now oh a banana too.

My boyfriend should be here shortly. it just stinks because I feel sickish I hope I feel better in the a.m. and have a controled eating day.

_Courtney

Posted 1 month ago #
Nat
Member

hey girl! its okay you snacked a little but thats fine and what normal people do
I know your not counting calories all day but try to let go of that mindset altogether.. all it does it make you feel guilty, which makes you not satisfied and can lead to a binge. And it will be a total weight off your shoulders. Im glad your RA distracted you and you realised you didnt need more food. Like you said, time of the month.. so you may be overeating a little and feel on edge but dont stress about it, you havent binged and thats all that matters. enjoy your time with your boyfriend xx

Posted 1 month ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey girl that was a snack attack..DEFINITELY not a binge. Really 400 calories is not a big deal at all, and its huge you were able to stop it before it turned into a full blown binge. Are you counting calories each day or no? You are not always going to eat perfectly controlled, and occasionally you will have over eat or emotional snacking, which is normal. Do you know what made you reach for those snacks? Was it guilt over eating dinner when you weren't hungry? Really don't feel bad Court. Hugs, Lauren

Posted 1 month ago #
sami23
Member

hi Courtney ,i'm still a beginner just like you ,and i 'm in uni as well
so i dnt have much experience but i know it does help to write things down
i just wanted to say hi and welcome u to our group
GOOD LUCK

Posted 1 month ago #
Sez
Member

Hey Courtz,
That was def not a binge, prob what most people would consider a snack girl! You have nothing to worry about! Great work on avoiding it turning into a binge though.
Hope ya begin to feel better soon,
xxx SEZ

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

Hey guys.
One thing that someone said was try writing it all down. I feel like if I write down what I eat, if I dont like what I see it messes with my emotions and stuff so Ive been actually trying not to do that. I kinda..weighed myself today 6 lbs heavier...which is understandable for the bigning so Im trying to not let it get to me. After I get some stuff done this morning and eat lunch Im going to the ngym (havnt had time so its been since wednesday eek ) lol I like going to the gym, sometimes half the battle is getting there but I always feel like I have my head a little cleared after it and feel happier.

So this is whats been on my mind lately though. I used to eat about 1400-1500 calories a day and do about 65-75 cardio (about 4 times a week )+ some weight traning(about oncce a week) and it was so difficult to lose weight I lost about 6 pounds over 6 months (which now I hav gained from the bignes) so Im trying to eat more during the day a little, and nwo jot everything down and analyze it. Im just nervous about putting on weight, when I was about 160 (im 150 now about 5feet 1 or 2 in by the way) ...when i was 160 I was so depressed wore balck sweatpants and a sweatshirt everyday didnt care about my life and stuff, Ive gotten dowon to 143 and thats it n(besides when I never ate 3 yrs ago and was 108 and still didnt like my body) but Im trying to accept it and look cute and stuff now, but I know if I gain weight Ill be depressed again if I need to buy bigger jeans and all that. Im still exercising but Im afraid that me eating more food Ill stay like this or gain weight. I know staying like this would be better then gaining weight but my jeans have been tighter later and I can see my belly getting a little blah which is throwing doen the self confidence.

Im going to try to eat when Im hungry and what I want ( not Xccals or carbs here or thre) just what Im in the mood for ( mostly always healthy stuff anyways) and see how it goes. I know I keep repeating myself but Im just scared. Like yesterday all I felt like I wanted to do what eat, I had about half of a dark choc bar ( a big bar 85% cocao but still ) and all I wanted to do was eat dinner when I wasnt even hungry and get this and that good thing my boyfriend was around but I still felt like I oveate through the day like all I wanted to do was eat kinda thing. This morning Im feeling better ( ironically i dont feel to much better sore throat and kinda an ear ache hope im not getting sick =( .... ) Anyways I know I kind of rambled but I just wanted to get this out there.

Posted 1 month ago #
Nat
Member

Hey Courtney, I think its a great idea to go with the intuitive eating. I know and feel the same about all the weight loss thoughts and fears. Sometimes I used to think that I would never be happy unless I was skinny and it gave me this horrible feeling in my gut that I would never get there. But by focusing on being healthy and totally rid the idea of weight loss, I actually lost weight. You'll probably find that by eating whatever you feel like, that you'll eat less anyway. You can do this and ramble as much as you like, thats what this is for

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

Went to the gym today, I was feel kind of tired I did 55min eliptical and 25min tredclimber, my bodys really tired today. Im going home this weekend so I wont really be able to work out then so im trying to work out early in the week, I hope I dont have a bunch of tired days or something (hopefully i dont get sick either have a sore throat right now =( )
Anyways Sunday is a new day of a class and work fulled week STRESS. I hope I can handle it all.
-Courtney

Posted 1 month ago #
Sez
Member

Hey Courtz,
Sorry to hear about your sore throat. Hope you don't get sick either!!
Just focus on binge free days, don't write down you food if that makes you freak out. I'm sure you would def no then that being skinny does not make you happy, focus on being happy with who you are right now and believing in yourself. This along with a bit of hard work will help to kick that binging in the big fat butt!! And if that happens i'm sure the weight will drop off pretty fast, just try not to worry about it.
Hope ya have a good sleep.
xxx Sez

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

Hey sez,
Ugh had a decent sized binge last night whole bag of those apple cinnamin rice cakes, about half a bag or pumpernickel pretzals with some ranch dip, about a .75 lb bag of trail mix (about I would say 3 cups ish ), 2 pieces of little choclates I had left from another day, a paenut butter cookie, i think thats it, I know that doesnt sound EXTREME but my belly ache begs to differ, plus most of the trail mix was nuts which is very fatty and calorically dense as well. I texted my dad today telling him binging is starting to be a problem for me again and I dont know what to do. So he said he would call me around three today and we could see what my options were (therepy or something i live on campus so im not sure what i could do here but maybe we can figure something out) wish me luck, I always feel so uncomfortable talking to someone about it ...besides people on here who dont think im crazy lol.

-Courtney

Posted 1 month ago #
Lauren
Member

Oh Courtney I'm sorry you had a rough night last night. Make sure not to restrict today even if you are feeling bloated today. I'm so glad you have a supportive dad thats going to help you figure out some recovery options. Good luck.. sometimes opening up someone really is such a relief. Hang in there. Hugs, Lauren

Posted 1 month ago #
Nat
Member

Hey courtney, its so great that you have your dad to talk to, that must be a relief to be able to talk to someone. Im sorry you had a binge but today is a new day and you can pick yourself up and put it past you. try some peppermint tea to soothe your tummy and dont forget to still eat today. x

Posted 1 month ago #
courtney_m
Member

Hey guys I still ate normally today and my stomach was eh not horrible but it was very uncomfy. I have loads of eng homework but I made an appt with a dietician at my campus's health servies place for next monday Im going to tell her my story and hopefully she can help me balance my food intake and whatnot I dunno. Im going home this weekend to see my family my mom usually always tells me how my body looks and I know ive gained weight so this wont be fun =[

-Courtney

Posted 1 month ago #

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