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Help me

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Started 1 year ago by Alexa
Latest reply from Alexa

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Alexa
Member

Hi, my name's Alexa. I've lost all the control over my life. Everything is now about food. I don't know what to do. I think about eating all the time. I eat loads of sweets. It's not that bad until I eat something which has some sugar in it. Then there's nothing I can do. I eat everything I find. I think I do it to just turn the feeling of sadness to hating myself. I'm depressed. I don't want it to be like that anymore. I want my life back. Don't wanna hate myself and feel disgusted about my body. Help me please.

Posted 1 year ago #
stay at home mom
Member

Hey Alexa,
welcome to the forum. Please check out the posts and look for some ideas that sound good and try them out. I suggest you have a look at MY INNER THOUGHTS by gee kool; also check out the CBT-the steps under the cbt hot tag in the left column. We're here to try help you out in learning to eat more normally.
I know sometimes it feels like we're in a big pile of poo because of our actions, but please know that we can all clean up. You do have diamonds inside there with you and they're hard to see or acknowledge right now. But it's about uncovering those and working with them. If you think you are in a depression you can't get out of...it might be worth seeing a doctor/nurse practitioner about the appropriateness of anti-depressants to help you feel more in shape to tackle the problems.
Keep posting and we'll try to help.
Helen

Posted 1 year ago #
ivierose
Member

Welcome Alexa!

you've made a great choice coming on here and sharing! Everyone has been where you are, and the good thing about that is we all know what you're going through, so we'll never judge! When you're feeling the urge to binge, how about coming on here and writing? Or even just writing in a journal. It might help to dig into those reasons why you are turning to food emotionally! Don't ever be afraid to share anything on here, you might just be able to find some answers to your food questions. Like Helen, I suggest maybe getting yourself to a doctor if you feel that might help. You might be able to find some sort of help for dealing with the emotional problems. Most of us have been through that too!! I hope you're able to find what you're looking for on here.
Welcome again!!

Niamh

Posted 1 year ago #
Alexa
Member

Thanks guys for support.
It's day one of my way. I was thinkinking of reasons I binge. There's a lot of these. It happens when I feel lonely. Since my boyfriend left me on Valentine's Day everyday's been empty. I cried a lot and the only way to forget about the loneliness was to eat and then start to hate myself. I also eat when I'm somewhere with many people around me. I don't feel comfortable at school or at a party. I feel like they're all staring at me and think of how fat and miserable I am. But I know that I must face my fears and emotions and stop covering them with sugar. I don't want to hate myself anymore. I'm not that bad, am I?
I made a meal plan for today. 5 meals and some workout. There's so much to change. Seems like I have to build a brand new me, day by day, brick by brick. I know it's going to be a long way but I can't go back to the person I was yesterday. Now when I'm here with people feeling the same way and having the same problems I feel a bit stronger. I hope I won't binge today. That would be a huge step forward.

Posted 1 year ago #
Hope81
Member

Hi Alexa, I think you've summed it up when you say you have to build a brand new you "day by day, brick by brick." That's what you've gotta do - take it one day at a time and try to make small positive changes rather than launching into a grand scheme that will only make you feel worse about yourself if you fail. It's chicken and egg with the depression, because I think most of us who suffer from BED stuggle to work out whether depression makes us eat or whether binge eating makes us depressed. In my long battle with BED, I have found that anti-depressants can help, you don't have to stay on them forever, but they can help pull you out of that inital black hole so that you're able to cope a bit better, day by day. It can feel awfully daunting to think that you have to completely change yourself to overcome this, so start with something small. Why don't you talk to your doctor, tell him/her how you're feeling and see if they think that a low of dose of anti-depressants could help. If not, then you have to look to other means of self help - try reading up on BED, doing the CBT steps, journalling and perhaps seeing a therapist. You're not alone, we're all here to help x

Posted 1 year ago #
Alexa
Member

It's me again. I hate myself so much. I've just eaten an ice cream and a piece of apple pie. I'm afraid in a moment it'll be much more. I won't be able to control myself anymore today. I'm terrified. I don't want to binge again. Dunno what to do. I won't stop it. It's horrible, like a attak of panic. What can I do? Please help...

Posted 1 year ago #
HopeIsEverything
Member

Hey.

I used to binge about 2 times a day, at least... I used to hate myself too. Now I don't do it that often.
But still sometimes I can't control it.

Try to go for a walk without bringing any money with you. Can you visit family or friends? Try to be as bussy as possible when you are at home. Everytime you think about binging, remember why you shouldn't.

But if you do binge, then do it with healthy food. So don't keep any unhealthy food in your house.

I wish you luck, and don't be so hard on yourself.
- Nadia.

Posted 1 year ago #
delilah19
Member

try these:

1) Drink a pint of cordial like orange or blackcurrant, something that tastes sweet...or u cud try some diet soda, although thats bad for your teeth and insides. Or try pure fruit juice if you can stomach it, its usualy most effective.

sometimes i find that if i just downa pint of juice, it gets rid of sugar cravings and fills my stomach up so i feel full and less likely to binge.

2) Try chewing gum...or if your cravings are mostly for sweet things, chew a fruit flavoured gum...it can distract you and satisfy the need for a sweet taste in your mouth.

Just a couple of things that have helped me in the past, hope this is helpful xxxx

Posted 1 year ago #
believer83
Member

Hey you,
I know exactly how you feel I am the same as you, and don't know what to do, all I think about is food, since the minute I get up until I go to bed at night... not really helpful am I??? but just to let you know you are not alone, theres many of us out there.

Posted 1 year ago #
Alexa
Member

I failed... feeling awful now. I hate myself so much. I could stop myself for some time but then... It sucks. I want to be free but I can't. It's ruining my life. I have plans and dreams and I'm just not able to reach them because all my life's about food. Is there any way to stop thinking about eating? I can't find one. It's great that I'm not alone, that you know what I'm talking about but you can't get into my brain and just make me stop craving. I'm in high school and I spend every weekend at home. I feel tired and sleepy for most of the time. It can't stay like that. I want to be normal, thin, happy. I suck...

Posted 1 year ago #
Mitanika
Member

It's ok. Everyone messes up now and again. It's just one day. Please don't beat yourself up about it. I do that all the time too, so maybe I should take my own advice! All I know is that hating on yourself doesn't make it any easier. Hating myself makes me just want to dive into the bottom of the nearest bag of potato chips. I think it's just a cycle that we need to get out of. But, really it's ok.

Posted 1 year ago #
amanda918
Member

Alexa, first of all you're "day by day brick by brick" analogy is perfect, just think of it like that. If one brick falls off, the whole thing doesn't collapse and you just have to put that brick back before the next one. Binging isn't the end of the world and just get yourself back on track asap by eating normally. Also, normal and happy don't have to mean thin. I think that the sooner you lose this mentality of thin=happy, you'll take a lot of the pressure off yourself to NOT binge. Focus on what you are going to do instead of NOT going to do. Best of luck, you're not alone!

Posted 1 year ago #
Aliceinwonderland
Member

Hi Alexa, Don't dispare I know how awful that post binge period is, but you will start to feel better and you will beat this so don't give up. I read your earlier posts and I can relate to so much of what you are saying.I noticed that you monitor you weight changes really carefully. One thing I have found that really helps me is trying hard not to weigh myself. I find this really difficult because I used to be completely obsessed about that. I had about a million different scales and at one point I even had some scales that I took with me when I was away from home just so I could constantly check my weight.. how ridiculous is that. If my weight went up then this could well lead me to binging because it made me feel miserable. By constantly weighing myself I was fueling all my anxiety.
I have now had to accept that weight is impossible to constantly monitor and everyones weight unavoiadably flucutates on a day to day basis, but you still look the same, most of its just water changes. My weight could totally impact on my mood and how I saw myself. If I saw I'd put on just one pound when I next looked in the mirror I'd think I'd literally doubled in size... Right now I am trying not to weigh myself at all and instead just looking how my clothes fit etc. perhaps you could try that or maybe just weighing yourself once a week. Anyway I really hope that your ok xx

Posted 1 year ago #
Alexa
Member

You know what? I'm done. I can't win this game. I'm weak with no real friends and no love. I'm lonely and no one can help me. Sorry but you can't help me too. I can't cope with my feelings and saying that I can won't help me. I give up. I'm not like you. Not strong enough. I'm hurt and probably too sensitive to get over it. :cry: Thanks anyway and good luck.

Posted 1 year ago #
fashiongirl6
Member

Done with what? This disorder isn't going to go away unless you take some actions in your life to try and fix it. It's an extremely hard disorder to deal with trust me I've been dealing with it for 5 years and I hate the constant up and down cycle of the whole thing. We all just want to be normal and some days we all wish we could throw our hands up in the air and quit, but what are we quitting? Ourselves? Our lives? The only way you can move forward with your life is to realize that you have this disorder and most importantly that it isn't going to change over night. It's a definite process, but you know at the end of it you'll be a better and stronger you. You seem to be in the thick of it right now...like I was probably 2 years ago. I put major stress on myself for no reason...weighing myself twice a day, restricting all week then binging all weekend, I missed out on most of my college experience because of food and I can't take those days back. So we all know where you're coming from, but you have to know that there is hope. Even though I still binge now....I have made so much progress in how I feel about myself and how I look at my life. You say you have goals and things you want to do with your life so who's stopping you. I know, I know food...but even with this disorder I managed this year to land my own fashion internship at a boutique, make the deans list, and I'm graduating in 2 weeks. If I can do this while dealing with BED you certainly can!

Try finding activities around your town that you might like to do to make friends. Like charity work, habitat for humanity, or start a sport. There are so many things you could do to make yourself feel better. Even if you have one person you could talk to about the disorder that will help immensely. Sorry if this post is a little harsh but it's tough love! You remind me so much of myself when I was your age and I just want you to know that it does get better and easier to deal with you just have to want to fight.

Posted 1 year ago #
Alexa
Member

The problem is that I have nobody to talk about this. I tried to talk to my mum but she just laughted at me. I asked her not to buy any cookies or other snacks but he still does. I feel alone with this. My friends are all slim so they have no idea of what I feel like. I'm feeling the fat on my body all the time. It's always there with me. I can hardly focus on something else. I live in a very small town so there's no sport center or something to spend free time there. I'm stuck at home with people who don't understand me and treat my food problem as something silly.

Posted 1 year ago #
Lidaby
Member

DON'T HATE YOURSELF! Feeling bad, disgusted, guilty and depressed... CAUSES you to binge. You feel unhappy so your body makes you turn to food, which makes you temporarily happy.

It's very hard to do by yourself, I've read loads on this disorder and made lots of lists and things, but I still binge. But I'm making progress though! slowly, but definitely.

I suggest either reading everything you can and making a list of things and tips which you think would be useful to you.

OR, go to a doctor. They are there to help! Tell them your symptoms, and they will be able to give you great advice, or at least direct you to someone who can.

Just don't feel like you can't do anything. It's possible to stop this. It's hard, but you can do it. Control your emotions first, because they are what causes your binging. Then get your eating under control. I listed some things that help me stop binging in the "ummm...hi" thread, if you want to take a look.

Good luck!! :3

Posted 1 year ago #
Alexa
Member

Hello again!
It's been 2 days since my last binge:) It feels really great. All I needed was just to change the strategy. Thinking of binging as a psychical disorder was like an excuse for eating lots of unhealthy food. I thought I had a problem, an addiction and I needed some help because it couldn't be done on my own. That was definitely wrong. When I looked at the scale I got shocked. 70,1kg! More than ever. And then some idea hit me. "It can't be like that anymore. It's your life and you're the boss, not food."
When I woke up the next morning I felt some power. Somehow I understood that I don't need that food anymore. I eat to live and that's it. I did exercise, ate just healthy fresh meals and felt great about it.
Today was even easier. I don't feel hungry and don't even think about food. I'm really excited and I really really want to never binge again.

Posted 1 year ago #
Alexa
Member

I'm back...
I've lost it again. After 4 days of normal eating it's like a checkboard. I hate myself again. It's horrible. I'm thinking about food all the time. I eat loads of sweets. It's so hard. I feel really fat and my body disgusts me. It's depressing. I thought I could do it but I wasn't strong enough.
If you could give me just some clues but straight ones. Please tell me what to do...

Posted 1 year ago #
stay at home mom
Member

Hi Alexa: you've been doing great for the past week, and this last binge, you have to put it aside and get back on your track. There's no other way-- if you guilt about it, you'll likely get pulled into the binge vortex. It's 4 steps forward, 1 back and so on. Then it's 20 steps forward and 1 back. Don't lose your cool too much over the one step back.
There's been piles of suggestions offered in the posts above and in others' posts, and it's up to you to try some out and see what works and does not. No one except you can figure out what works for you and what doesn't, because there is no single solution that fits every binger. It seems like whatever has worked for those 4 binge-free days will probably work for you again; minor setbacks are not a sign that your 'system' does not work....or that you are weak. Every single one of us in this forum has setbacks...and we don't give up

Helen

Posted 1 year ago #
stay at home mom
Member

Alexa:
Here's a basic food plan based on the Canada Food Guideline, recommending 2100 cals/day for women. I try to use it to meet my minimum dietary needs and my 'treats' needs. You eat whatever combo when you like, hopefully around mealtimes or snack.

grains: 5 servings per day.
1 serving= one slice bread; 1/2 cup rice; 1/2 cup pasta, 1 serving cereal as indicated on cereal box; 1 cup porridge.

dairy or calcium alternatives: 3 servings per day.
1 serving= 1 glass milk or soy milk; 1/4 cup shredded cheese; 1 cup yogurt; 1 oz hard cheese; 2 Tbsp parmesan cheese

veggies/fruit: 5 servings per day.
1 serving= 1 small fruit; 1/2 cup diced fruit; 1/2 cup diced veggies; 1 cup leafy salad. (I tend to choose veg b/c lower calories + cheaper)

meat or protein alternatives: 2 servings per day.
3 oz roasted meat (size of deck of cards); 2 eggs; 1/3 cup nuts; 1 cup beans; 1 cup tofu

The guidelines actually suggest up to 10 grain servings, up to 12 veg/fruit servings. But I'm not that virtuous an eater, so I'll try to get the above minimum and then use the remaining 500-600 cals/day for 'extras' like potato chips, chocolate, icecream, whitebread, or pastry. But I'm getting a bit better at selecting fruit sometimes as the extras.

Remember, food plans are helpful but you have to also figure out what negative feelings might create binge urges, and what can be done to reduce those feelings besides food.

Posted 1 year ago #
Alexa
Member

My system was like 2 sandwiches a day but it worked. And then my 'dear' mom baked a chocolate cake. She knows. She knows that I can eat all sweets I find and she still does it. She keeps buying cookies and sweets. I talked to her million times but she can't understand. Is it that difficult?? I don't think so. But of course she tells me to eat something sweet, just a little. But I CAN'T.
If the weather's good I'll go cyckling during the weekend. 2hrs are great. It makes me happier, burns loads of calories and prevents me from bingeing. I hope mum won't fill the house with sugar again.

Posted 1 year ago #
stay at home mom
Member

Do you think mom buys all those sweets for herself and the rest of the family? Or do you honestly feel she is trying to sabotage your efforts to become an adult?? If it's the second, it's unfortunate that it's become a game where you try to avoid sweets completely and she tries to 'break' you.
Your two sandwich system sounds great because it's worked for you. But it's possible that it still leaves you several hundred calories short of your actual needs.
Do you think at this stage, you would be comfy trying to 'train' yourself to eat a moderate portion of sweet? If you are, I'd recommend you train yourself outside the house...example, buy one chocolate bar or piece of pastry at the store and eat it elsewhere. This way you don't associate consuming sweets with home, but still train yourself for controlled moderation around treats. I find that if you remove a favorite food type completely and then face it at a party or as a gift, your brain gets so stimulated by one bite of it and then it wants it all. But you might be in better shape for this kind of training after you've stopped bingeing for awhile again.
Helen

Posted 1 year ago #
stay at home mom
Member

Sorry, I don't mean to paint your mom in such a sinister light. Most moms have great intentions...and if the effect of her action is sabotage to your plans, often the mom did not intend this. It just seems like she does not know about eating disorders, and does not get that it tends to cause irrational eating in its sufferers.

Posted 1 year ago #
Alexa
Member

I did good today. Ate quite much but no binging and only healthy stuff. I went for a 2h-long walk. Now I'm going to do 500 sit-ups. I found some diet in the net and I want to stick to it since tomorrow. It's healthy and detoxing and I hope it will help me get back to my 65 kilos. I made one step forward and I really want not to ruin this.

Posted 1 year ago #
aniuta
Member

HI Alexa!
I really hope that everything is going well with you. I was reading through your posts and i seriously thought that you are describing me. I have all the same patterns exept the situation with my mother. First, i have already tried to stick to diets, but of course i failed. This disorder IS an addiction. For example i take it just as alcoholism. I feel like im a drug addict. i need food, feel like i can't survive without it; food is the first thing i think when i wake up in the mrning. Every night i promis myself that today was the last day and il start eating less from tomorrow. Again, of course i fail. I feel like im a total failure, but i know that i can overcome this. There is going to be one day when i will be free of this thinking. Seriously, sometimes it goes so bad that im thinking that i wish i was Anorexic. For those who will read my post, i know that this is really stupid thinking but this is how bad my BED is. I really really want to change my life and my eating habits. Alexa, if you would like we gould try to do it togeter. SO, i hope everything goes well with you and everyone here. We can overcome this. together we will. By the way, why i said that you (Alexa) sound so like me because im actually 70.1kg too.

Posted 1 year ago #
aniuta
Member

HI Alexa!
I really hope that everything is going well with you. I was reading through your posts and i seriously thought that you are describing me. I have all the same patterns exept the situation with my mother. First, i have already tried to stick to diets, but of course i failed. This disorder IS an addiction. For example i take it just as alcoholism. I feel like im a drug addict. i need food, feel like i can't survive without it; food is the first thing i think when i wake up in the mrning. Every night i promis myself that today was the last day and il start eating less from tomorrow. Again, of course i fail. I feel like im a total failure, but i know that i can overcome this. There is going to be one day when i will be free of this thinking. Seriously, sometimes it goes so bad that im thinking that i wish i was Anorexic. For those who will read my post, i know that this is really stupid thinking but this is how bad my BED is. I really really want to change my life and my eating habits. Alexa, if you would like we gould try to do it togeter. SO, i hope everything goes well with you and everyone here. We can overcome this. together we will. By the way, why i said that you (Alexa) sound so like me because im actually 70.1kg too.

Posted 1 year ago #
Alexa
Member

Hey,
I've had about 400kcals and I'm feeling great. I had a terrible craving for something sweet but I had an apple and now it's ok. I'm quite full because of the eggs. After four of them I won't be able to eat eggs for some time but I don't have to. I checked my weight in the morning and it was 67,7. The next two days are kefir days so I can drink as much of it as I want. It really works for me when I don't have to stick to hours and portion size. I hope my weight will be 65 kilos on Monday and no binging of course.

Posted 1 year ago #
Alexa
Member

Day 6. Was supposed to be but ooops I did it again. I don't even know how much I ate but it was sweet, plenty of sweet things. My weight today was 66.4. I had a bad argument with my friend. I went 20km by bike and then I just couldn't stop myself.
I feel guilty but I'm determined to start a new non-binging day.

Posted 1 year ago #
stay at home mom
Member

Hi Alexa:
Do you think your wanting to get down to 65 kg really fast has anything to do with getting gorgeous and making your ex-bf regret the breakup? I'm not saying this is bad...as I understand how good it feels to have the power of a femme fatale and be desirable.

Controlling eating directly is actually a weaker way to control against binges. A stronger way is to learn to control your emotions because there will be no shortage of things to piss you off/ make you miserable throughout adult life: arguments with friends, unco-ooperative family, food cravings, finding yourself eating sweets.... It's not about trying to be happy when you feel bad, but more neutral or even. People eat most normally when they feel most settled. It means you won't restrict much, or overeat much. It means you'll eat some sweets, but not too much. This means you'll lose weight slowly but it'll be a stable loss...not the kind that you gain back thru major binging.

Things to do or think when the pitch of misery goes up: wait for it to pass (takes a few hours for most people), have a nap if needed, know that "it's not the end of my world", think "I will find a new boyfriend or friends if this does not work out", think "Maybe I'm wrong and should find a better way to handle things next time", think "It's damn hard to feel this but in a few hours it won't feel so intense".

Helen

Posted 1 year ago #
Alexa
Member

I binged again today:( I think it's connected with arguments I had: with my dad today and with my friend yesterday.
Tomorrow I'm going to a cafe for a desert with that friend. I hope it'll get me in some better mood so that I won't feel the need to eat.
I made a meal plan for the next few days. I'd like to go cycling for 2hrs a day but the weather might be bad. I'm going to eat more fruit. It really helps with cravings. So does sport.
I've been very nervous recently. I feel a bit lonely and stressed. I get out of control easily. I can't find a good way to relax and calm down instead of argueing. Do you know anything that can help with moodswings?

Posted 1 year ago #
Hope81
Member

Hi Helen, I just want to say how right I think you are about learning to control our emotions instead of trying to control our eating. I have never really thought about it like that and it is such a good way of putting it!

The fact that all of us are on this website, lamenting about how miserable binge eating makes us, says it all.. it makes us all so unhappy that if it was just about the food, we could probably stop it in a heartbeat. The fact that it's so tied up with our emotional state makes it virtually impossible to conquer, until we've learnt to manage our emotions and channel those uncomfortable feelings in another way instead of eating.

Posted 1 year ago #
stay at home mom
Member

Hi Alexa: I think you answered your own query quite well by saying sports and eating fruits will help you calm down. These are things that don't work instantly by help alot in the long one. Just getting out of the house to do sports or have coffee with a friend are good in itself and also to distract you from feeling nervous. I don't know of anything that works instantly to crush irritability and hostility...even anti-depressants usually take a few weeks to kick in. Try to remind yourself each time that you will not feel frustrated for much longer...may be a few hours.
Helen

Posted 1 year ago #
Alexa
Member

It's been raining all day so I couldn't go cycling. I didn't binge today and yesterday. I ate quite much today but it was about 2000kcals and I did belly dance and 500 sit-ups so it's about 700kcals burned.
I started drawing little bricks at the bottom of sites of my diary. It's like one more brick for a day without binging and one less if I binge. Now there are 5 of them and I hope the number will get higher.

Posted 1 year ago #
jacquirsw1
Member

you have done well, it could have been easy for you to binge when the weather worked against the cycling but you didn't which is a real victory. 5 bricks is great, what I will say though is if you do binge don't go back to zero because you have still achieve how ever many days you do so don't negate that continue counting afterwards

Jacqui

Posted 1 year ago #
susienglish
Member

HI ALEXA. YOUR COMMENTS STRENGTHEN ME AND MY EATING PROBLEMS, SO THANK YOU FOR WRITING SO SINCERELY ABOUT THEM. TODAY I HAD A BINGE AND WAS FRUSTRATED BUT I WENT STRAIGHT TO THE BINGE EATING FORUM AND GAINED PERSPECTIVE BY READING YOUR COMMENTS AND OTHERS. I FIND THAT IF I READ THE BINGE FORUM EARLY IN THE MORNINGAND AT LEAST 4 TIMES THRUOUT THE DAY AND EVENING I GAIN BELIEF IN MYSELF AND I CAN MONITOR MY EATING EASIER. I ALSO CAN NOT AND WILL NOT TOLERATE CAKES COOKIES AND OTHER FATTENING FOODS IN THE HOUSE, I AM LIKE AN ALCOHOLIC WITH WHISKEY. CAN YOU GIVE AN ALCOHOLIC JUST ONE LITTLE GLASS OF VODKA. NEVER.. BUT I DO MAKE DIET CAKES WHICH YOU CAN FIND ON WEIGHT WATCHERS SITES. WHEN I GO OUT TO EAT I MAKE SURE THAT THE RESTAURANT HAS BIG SALADS SOUPS STEAMED VEGGIES AND I PIG OUT ON THAT. AND I AM HAPPY THAT I AM IN CONTROL. ALL THE BEST TO TOU.

Posted 1 year ago #
Anna
Member

Hi Alexa,

Just a few personal things referring to your earlier posts - you will see you're not alone with ANY of your problems:

- Family. My parents would only laugh at me when I say I'm overeating and I'm too big and mom would keep on baking huge portions of cakes and insist on me taking it all to
my home, to have something for breakfast in the next days. And she would not stop buying me chocolate for my birthday or for any of my visits

- Friends. I did not have anyone to talk about my eating problems either. I was afraid of being treated like in idiot - as none of my normal size or skinny friends would EVER understand how you can lose control about your eating and none of them would ever know how hard it is to fight these cravings

- Loneliness. I've been living alone for about 8 years and I felt like being the last woman on earth any man would ever look at (although it's far from the reality). Then I met a man who made me believe I look great as I am and if I wish to lose weight - it should be for my own pleasure and health not for his. He really meant it, but I did not believe him. I kept on comparing myself to other women he was meeting up and fed my mind with more and more depressing thoughts that have really upset him. It has never been my figure upsetting him - it was my behavior feeling bad and anxious about my body, that would in the end make any man unhappy...

- Sports. Forget start working out like crazy! Making quick progress will only last for a while and you'll soon reach your limits. And then what? You'll start hating exercising. Fun will turn into stress and you'll end up sitting at home munching on chocolate-dip cookies instead of doing the hated repetitions again. YES, sports is the way to support our efforts back to eating healthy again - but it should be fun and feel good. Not for 2 weeks and not for 2 months. Not even for 2 years, but possibly for the rest of our lives.

- The love for food. It's NOT something bad to love food. It's something GREAT to enjoy a nice dish and a nice flavour. To feel pleasure when your favourite chocolate is melting on your tongue. When binging, we are getting far from enjoying our food with every extra bite. We simply let our minds convince us, that a full belly will solve our problems - which are not related to food at all. What a trick making ourselves miserable!!

- Weighing your self. Never ever do that! Your clothes will say whether they fit you or not. What does a scale say? Nothing! Just an example: 2 people of the very same height, very same weight - one of them full trained, the other full fat. Both are weighing the same - but they would look pretty different, isn't it? :-))

Don't feel guilty if you're binging here and there! You're on the right way and you're making great progress!!! And everyone posting here is with you and supporting you!!

Posted 1 year ago #
Alexa
Member

Hello again.
Thank you all very much for your support. I feel really better when I know I'm not alone with this problem.
Anna, what you say sounds very familiar and I think understanding all of these things makes my relation with food slightly different. I gave up weighting myself a few days ago because it only causes binging. Sports - I know that riding a bike 2hrs a day is not good and you can easily get bored. When it comes to friends and family, they should better stay out of it. My feelings about food are beginning to change. I can now eat something sweet and don't fall into the black hole. I don't trust myself enough to love food but perhaps with time I'll be able not to worry every morning.
Fingers crossed for all of you guys and I hepe we can do it!

Posted 1 year ago #

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