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Guess what – it's another journal!
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March 13, 2012 at 6:55 pm #4717
Okay, so I was doing so well – about 12 or 13 days binge free, and today I let myself down. I’m feeling a little depressed about it at the moment, as I’m going round my partners parents’ for dinner soon, and seeing as I’ve just binged it’s not going to be great, and I’m going to be feeling pretty disgusting! But on the plus side, he certainly knows how to cheer me up and put a smile on my face, so I have that to look forward to
Anyway, I felt during the first week of not bingeing it was pretty easy (perhaps because I was busy and out of the house more)…but I’ve decided to start this journal so that when I have the urge to binge I can direct myself here, instead of to the kitchen. Almost 2 weeks of not bingeing has shown me that I CAN do it, and has motivated me because I know how great it feels to be off the binge.
So, tomorrow I’m going to pick up from my 13 (minus 1) days, and will keep writing on here, so that I know there will be the consequence of admitting if I slip up! I’ve read so many journals which have inspired me and given me ideas too, so I hope that recording my journey on here may be of some use to others also.
Please everyone feel free to post on here if you’re having a bad/good day, so that we can help each other through this one day at a time.March 13, 2012 at 9:15 pm #90867
Kit, you didn’t fail you stumbled and bruised your knee. You keep counting those binge free days knowing that you only had a hiccup!!!March 14, 2012 at 3:42 am #90868
^^ love that, it’s so true, the term recovery doesn’t have room between the letters for all our bumps and stumbles along the way, and as many have stated before, looking at it in black/white terms only makes us see the bad sometimes. you are amazing for being 13 days binge-free, and you’re right, you’ve shown yourself and the binge monster that you can do it! awesome.March 14, 2012 at 10:34 pm #90869
Thanks so much guys You’re both right… it’s unrealistic to go into this feeling that it’s going to be an immediate recovery, and accepting that an immediate recovery isn’t going to happen helps keep optimism up when we do stumble!
Anyway, today has been a really good day! I had porridge with raisins and some orange juice for breakfast, a jacket potato with cheese and some sweetcorn for lunch, and a chicken sandwhich on wholemeal bread for dinner, with an apple, orange and a banana as snacks along the way (I work from 3-9 on Wednesdays so tend to have a dinner for lunch and a lunch for dinnger). And after work I completed a 5-mile run. Feeling so good right now, going to have a nice fruit tea and finish my book before going to bed
Thanks for the support!
It’s strange, I’ve enjoyed what I’ve eaten so much today… I prefer the tastes to the tastes of a biscuit or chocolate bar. It makes me wonder if things like fruit and vegetables were horribly bad for us, would we crave them too? I know it’s mostly because of sugar craves, but perhaps part of it could simply be the psychological element of knowing that it’s bad, and therefore just wanting it, regardless of taste!
Anyway, hope everyone’s had a good day today, I’m hoping my optimism might be contagious for anyone who might happen to read this post….night all!March 15, 2012 at 8:11 am #90870
i think you’ve hit on a very good point there kit! i know that dieting made me crave things like chocolate bars, pastries, cakes etc – but before i started dieting i never used to like these things anyway. it was only when they were ‘banned’ that i wanted to eat them all the time.
your food looks yummy – who cares what order you ate it in! i don’t know why we all think we have to eat certain foods at certain times of the day..
i love that you always take a positive and see the up-side of things. great stuff xxxMarch 15, 2012 at 11:04 pm #90871
Yeah it’s so strange – I guess it’s the same as lots of things – everybody is tempted by the ‘forbidden’ things. Like when I see big red emergency stop buttons, sometimes I think ‘ooh it’s tempting to press that’, simply because I know it’s forbidden and I can’t!
Yeah you’re right there, it’s just yet another restriction that stops us from acting in tune with our body and responding to it when necessary, as we impose times in which we feel we should be eating.
And thanks, I have this forum to thank for the positivity – so many inspiring stories and so much support, so a big thank you for that I also genuinely look forward to posting on this thread in the evenings – it’s nice to reflect on the day, and I feel like a go to bed nice and relaxed having considered the day..
And today was another good day! Porrige for breakfast again and lots of fruit and a seed variety bar at various points during the day in the way of lunch. Had Irish relatives over this evening, so had a BBQ to celebrate, and I did good! BBQs are just so easy to go over the top on because it’s self-serve, and noone is really watching what you eat, but I ate an average amount and enjoyed it. I also had dessert, but just one slice, and haven’t sneaked back into the kitchen like I used to do when I knew there was left over party food in the fridge to binge on when everyone’s gone to bed. So overall, another success, and looking forward to tomorrow
Hope everyone’s well!March 16, 2012 at 4:36 pm #90872
I’m staying round my partner’s tonight so I’ve decided to do an early post, so that we can have a nice, relaxing evening together Today has been another good day – lots of leftover salad/cous cous from the BBQ which I had for lunch today, and another nice wholesome breakfast too! I was proud of not overeating all of the left over meat in the fridge, which is always a temptation! This always tempts me because I can justify the binge by thinking ‘well, it needs to be eaten, we don’t want it to go to waste!’ But now I realise that me scoffing it all is just as much a waste as chucking it in the bin, as my body doesn’t need it, so it is not being beneficial in any way. In fact, it’s a disadvantage, so is better off in the bin than in an overcrowded stomach!
Anyway, I was in the mood to eat some of it this morning after breakfast, so went for a run instead. At the beginning of the run, all I kept thinking was ‘I can eat it as a treat when I get back’…but once getting back and showered, the thought didn’t even cross my mind, and I’d completely forgotten about it, which was great
I’m having dinner round my boyfriend’s parents, and they always cook such healthy, wholesome food which is great, so am really looking foward to dinner together tonight….. I love being able to look forward to this kind of dinner, rather than going round feeling bloated, horrible, and absolutely stuffed, so this is always a good motivation for me not to binge My boyfriend also has a habit of buying us little packets of sweets, which it is nice to enjoy together after dinner.
So basically, I’ve realised that a great motivation to not binge, is to think forward to how much you can enjoy a meal or a treat with those that you love later on, rather than spoiling it all and feeling rotten!
Anyway, hope everyone is well and beating that binge!March 17, 2012 at 9:34 pm #90873
Okay, I’m pleased to report another successful day! Pancakes for breakfast and a little mish mash of bits and pieces for lunch, but only a small plates full, and a spinach & ricotta plait, apple and some coleslaw for dinner.
I’m quite pleased today as well, as I turnd down going to the gym (I was supposed to be interval training once finishing work) because I’ve been feeling a bit tired today. I realise I’ve become kind of obsessed with running since I started running, shortly before I joined this forum – I run about 5 times a week, and cycle the other two days. I’m not worried about my weight as I’m only 8 stone, but have always wanted to tone my legs as I have cellulite on my thighs. I can’t figure out whether this obsession with running is because I want to tone or because I enjoy it and want to improve my distance/speed (I am very competitive!). Anyway, I’m pleased that I decided to not run this weekend, as I feel I am listening to my body and exercising control in all areas of my life. I didn’t want my obsession with food to move to an obsession with running, I just want to get rid of ‘addictions’ altogether! So yeah, feeling pretty good right now, and am working to keep on with the attitude that I don’t actually HAVE to run 5 days a week – who cares if I miss a day, I shouldn’t feel guilty!
Hope everyone’s still fighting strong!March 18, 2012 at 8:50 pm #90874
Ok, so despite being in a very big mood (for absolutely no reason!), I haven’t binged today, and know that I won’t for the remainder of the evening. Had work this morning, and went for a nice swim before work which was amazing, I forgot how much I missed it! Had branflakes with an apple and raisins for breakfast, a cheese & coleslaw sandwich, a carrot, and a yoghurt for lunch, and spag bol with meatballs for dinner, with a cereal bar for dessert. Also just had a hot chocolate, and am rather pleased as I’m actually finding that despite this sweet treat, I have absolutely no urge to binge whatsoever, woohoo! It’s an amazing feeling not to have to be scared of the binge, like I feel I spend lots of days and evenings, and to be able to just sit on the sofa and relax, care free
Tomorrow will be a test, as I will be home alone pretty much all day, but I have planned to go out for a run and also to make some apple sorbet – I’m hoping that these plans and my Uni work will keep me occupied enough to forget about food (not entirely of course!)
Hope all is well with everyone!March 18, 2012 at 11:42 pm #90875
It’s amazing how relaxing home can be when you aren’t in binge mode, and when you ARE, it can feel like a closed tomb : / … I can totally relate.
You’ve got this thing tomorrow– it is all you! this stupid habit is not going to make you a prisoner in your own home!
All the joy to you,
GMarch 19, 2012 at 8:46 am #90876
ahhhhh lovely posts kit well done, you’re doing brilliantly xxMarch 20, 2012 at 8:06 am #90877
Thanks so much you two!! Yesterday was another good day – I didn’t even feel the urge to binge at any point during the day! And I realised that today I’ve been binge free for 20 days (with 2 slip up on 1 of those days), which feels good, as I hadn’t been counting, but it’s been so long!
Anyway, although I feel my posts are getting a bit same-y, I’m going to keep posting on here just because I think it really is helping me, and I look forward to reflecting on my day. There’s something about writing on here which is so much different to writing a pen-and-paper food journal – I think it’s because it’s public rather than private space, I’m more willing to be honest with you guys and feel like I’m actually opening up.
But yeah, yesterday was great and my apple sorbet was delicious! I’ve been scared recently to eat any junk while I’m home alone at all incase it triggers a binge, so stay away from it at home, but yesterday I had half a biscuit (yes – I only fancied half!), and that was it, done and forgotten! These are the kind of small achievements that really propel me on my journey
Good luck to everyone day, and I’ll be back later with more.March 20, 2012 at 10:21 am #90878
this is awesome kit, well done to you i also found it got a little boring to come on every day to write how well things were going… but it felt amazing at the same time! “oh no, i only have good news, AGAIN” lol keep it up my dear xxxMarch 20, 2012 at 10:57 pm #90879
Thanks! I seriously don’t know what I would have done without all of your advice and support, so thank you so much. It’s really great that although you’ve completely overcome your binges yourself, you stick around to give all of us advice – I’d just like to say (and I’m sure on behalf of everyone on here!) I really, really appreciate it
But haha, yes, I guess I can’t really complain about it!! It’s so strange, something seems to have clicked over the past few days where I don’t get the urges to binge very strong at all anymore, and food is suddenly not the focus of my life! I feel as though I’m ‘cured’ in a way, but will obviously keep on posting, as I realise that it has only been about 20 days, and there may be more stumbles along the way!
But today was good too, just a normal day foodwise (and pizza for dinner!), but it was nice to enjoy something like pizza in a really guilt free way, because I knew it was the first bad thing I’d eaten all day. So it was nice to appreciate a treat, rather than have one knowing how much rubbish I’d stuffed my body with all day.
Peace to everyone out thereMarch 21, 2012 at 8:56 am #90880
oh wow *blush* thanks kit
yes it’s an amazing feeling when it all suddenly falls into place. i am so pleased that has happened for you! 20 days in binge-time is HUGE, so big congrats for that! xxx
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