Tips to stop overeating, stop emotional eating, stop eating fast food, stop eating junk food
first post to recovery
Home › Binge Eating Forum › Binge Eating Support – General Comments, Questions, and Posts › first post to recovery
March 14, 2011 at 7:53 am #3255
i am in the middle of reading andrews e book and am really hoping this is a turning point for me although i have toi admit i binged today. i am 22 and have probably doing this since i was about 16. its ruined my life for far too long now and when i look at my life its actually really great. so its so frustrating that i do this to myself when i know how depressed it makes me. i think it all began in high school i wasnt fat but i wasnt naturally super slim. i asked a slim friend to borrow something to wear and got the response “i dont want you to stetch them” turning point. joined a gym started watching what i ate and lost weight. 16 is a young age to begin dieting every day for the rest of your life. at some point i got obsessive. my friends think i “love salad”. i think that telling everyone i was really into health and fitness cos i kinda am is part of what has put up these stupid guidelines and rules that i try and live by and that makes my life hell. it is common for me to go out to dinner with my friends and eat a salad and then on my way home stop and buy a bag of lollies and a family block of chocolate. i would have to keep eating til i felt sick because “this is the last time” i would even trick myslef into thinking that it was good for me because it would turn me off junk food cos it has made me feel so ill. it never does. i want to live a life free from body issues and food issues and fear that people are judging me. i think i have a totally irrational fear that if people see me eating bad food they will associate it with weight gain and assume im fat. im not really but i am kinda on my way. about a year ago i was the happiest ive been in my life. i got out a relationship that i was over and met a really fun guy straight away. in this time i never binged and couldnt care less about food. i was the slimmest ive been and i know that a lot of weight loss pyschology says people put off rreaching their ideal weight because they are scared that if they arnt happy when they are slim then they will have to face the real problem, yes i read a lot of weight loss magazines. anyways i was really happy i loved that i didnt have to spend afternoons alone in bed with junk food wrappers hidden under my bed that i would later hide and followed by healthy dinners that i would have to force down because i could never tell my parents what i had done. my parents are kinda health freaks too. i think this may have also influenced my obscure views on eating. this is why i can come home from work in a good mood, find i had the place to myself and feel the need to binge because it meant i could eat whatever i wanted without anybody judging me. so what happened to my happy slim person that was a year ago… we broke up. i turned to comfort eating. the thing is im over it now but over the last year i have gained 5-10 kilos depending oon how bad a week ive had. and for me thats a lot. it means that i dont feel as confident going out that i cant wear anything i want cos i have to hide things. but more than anything it means that my confidence has been shot and i have days, weeks (as in this week) where it takes over. as soon as i start i feel depressed i want to feel like i have control over this issue because i know how much happier i am without binging in my life. yet somehow i am in this vicious cycle of feel bad about binging and hating myself for it so i do it again i feel like im in a dark hole and i dont know how to get out. i know that the less i do it the less ill want to do it and i really wanna get back to that point where im happy again and not hating myself for this. i think my plan for the rest of the week is to try and keep really buisy to distract myself so that i have less chance to binge becuase i know once i havrnt done it for a little while i wilol be able to remmeber how to live my life fully without lewtting this bring me down. its hard when im sick in bed though and have nothiong to do but watch tv. i know i have a stupid connection with wathving tv/ movies and binging which i need to break but dont know how. any ideas send them my way. i think i also need to work at my issues and why i feel the need to do this in the first place so i will keep reading andrews book, blogging and keeping my journal. ive never had an outlet before so hopefully this helps. good luck to everyone out there. coming from someone whose had a long binge free stage in my life… the journey is worth it cos i know how good it feels.March 14, 2011 at 8:22 am #78060
hello. how d u feel right now sweet heart. btw im reading andrews book too!!!March 14, 2011 at 8:59 am #78061
i feel kinda fat to be honest cos of how much food i ate today but i was reading thru everyones posts and am realising that focusing on my weight and or dieting is probable the worst thing for me so gonna try and forget about it. i have lots to do tomorrow so hopefully im feeling up to it and i can feel like im starting a fresh. i know that im happier when im busy so i think today in bed hasnt helped. how are you. i started reading your story and then skipped to the end. have you hurt your back? hows your progress with BED?March 14, 2011 at 9:15 am #78062
hi, u r right, focusing on the negative stuff will never lead to positive things. its like an adult telling a baby that he will never be able to walk, that can never help. fat feelings is just a psychological issue, therefore we have to work the psychological aspects that affect our issues with food. this means food issues are never about food, what happened then? my story is about loneliness, low self esteem and boredom. well my back is now giving me problems cause of my weight, but it got injured years ago amd it stayed fine till i went from a normal weight to the obese category. so for me this is a health priority. going back to the good old habits will require time and daily effort, but we just have one life. hope ur day goes well and u keep on posting. u r going to find lots of supportive ppl here. big hugMarch 14, 2011 at 1:50 pm #78063
I think you are right about what will help you right now, especially the blogging and having an outlet in these forums. When we don’t have people we can talk to about this stuff (like you feel you can’t talk folks about this), just having somewhere to get it all out and collect your thoughts is a huge huge help. Remember that we are all here struggling with a lot of the same issues and we really do understand what you are going through.
It sounds like you have quite a lot going on, a lot of things that could be influencing your binging, like dieting & restricting, boredom, low self esteem, depression.. Keep posting and reading other journals, it really does help! Maybe try to focus on the good things in your life, like every day write one thing you are thankful for?
As for tv/movies.. I’m like that too, I need something to snack on (or do I??). I often turn to veggies, or boiled sweets (suagr free) to suck on because they take aaaages to eat so I don’t get the calorie intake. Lately I have been moisturising my hands while I watch dvds, in those gloves things, so I can’t eat! It really helps.
All the best xx
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
Recent Forum Posts
- jen3377 on Most Common Cause of Binge Eating & How to Cope
- elki on It\'s all about feeling in control
- Pippa154 on Back to old habits
- livvv on Starting over
- livvv on Back to old habits
- livvv on It\'s all about feeling in control
- sciencfreak on It\'s all about feeling in control
- Pippa154 on Back to old habits
- Vness on Back to old habits
- Vness on V\'s Accountability Journal