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D's Journal–looking for an accountability partner

Home Binge Eating Forum Eating Accountability Journal D's Journal–looking for an accountability partner

This topic contains 16 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  Lauren 5 years, 3 months ago.

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    Well, after a couple of weeks of glancing at this site and thinking it’d be good for me, I have joined because I could really use some support.

    I’ve been binging for about 4 years now. With it has come significant weight gain compared to what is my natural, comfortable build–5’8″ and used to be between 130-135, when I had no food issues. I’m currently at 148.

    I do love to work out, but I yo-yo like crazy. I get into healthy kicks and promise myself I won’t binge again and do that for a week or two, and begin ever so slightly losing the weight. But then I slip with one meal/one food item, and that triggers a days- or week-long binge during which I stop exercising. I can’t stop. I always binge on carbs and/or really fatty stuff, and I also have this thing where I feel like I have to eat something salty, then sweet, then salty again and usually eat so much that I basically pass out afterwards, and wake up in the spot where I was eating at like 4 in the morning.

    To give some examples…it’s so hard to admit this and it’s embarrassing, but I need to actually put it out there for the first time ever…ok, yesterday I ate, among other things, a bag of cheddar popcorn, a 14″ pizza (8 slices), a (large) bag of Doritos, and TWO CONTAINERS of ice cream. Seriously. Not pints–the big ones that are like a gallon or whatever. I don’t understand how my body can put so much away. Well, I’m guessing it’s partially because that was only day 2 of bingeing; I’d been exercising and cutting cals earlier this week so I guess my body was replacing the calories I’d cut.

    Anyway, today I ate another bag of cheddar popcorn, a box of 8 Kashi cookies, a (large) bag of chips, a large container of ice cream, and half a container of honey roasted peanuts.

    I feel so uncomfortable and bloated and miserable. I want to start tomorrow morning off by going to they gym before work and eating fruits and veggies the rest of the day but I just feel like I’ll fail again and be back to craving and eating crap in a week or so. So, if there’s one person out there (of course any posts are welcome and much appreciated! but i feel like I’ll only have time to thoroughly correspond with/respond to one person) who also has a journal going and would like to keep each other accountable daily for our eating, and share our struggles/encouragement, PLEASE let me know. I am eating myself into great unhappiness and a horrible body here and really need help.



    Hi ready2change (like the name)! I recently have joined the forum a day ago, and have already been welcomed warmly by the people here. Actually, I’m going to start tommorow on my recovery to overcome binging. If you wouldn’t mind, I would love to become your accountability partner. Monday is great day to begin fresh starts, so why don’t we begin together? I would do my best to support you as much as possible if you do the same for me. Just in case you want to learn a little about me, my introductory thread is called “hello everyone”. But I will now be posting on “MiL MiL’s blog”. I look forward to hear from you!



    I’m going to start tomorrow too :)



    we are all in this together!




    Hey Readytochange..I’m sorry to hear what you are going through but its REALLY good that you know deep down that going back to cutting calories and only eating fruits/veggies WILL lead back to bingeing. And it really will. That’s how this whole vicious cycle works. The thing that has helped so many of us has been forcing ourselves to learn to be ok eating all foods in moderation, even if it goes against all the diet rules that you’ve had in your head for a long time, because those diet rules are what led to the bingeing, the weight gain, the feeling that you needed to diet and then Repeat…. so its great you are here with us! Like Ev said, its great if you find someone to journal with but you’ll generally always find support from several people here! welcome, Lauren



    i think you will have more than one partner here! was there a limit?!! :-) this site is so amazing, i am always so uplifted by the support that i get. if you are looking for someone to report your food to, you’ve got it here, some people do that. if you have specific questions, you can PM people. if you just want inspiration, you can read others journals…i am here for you, let me know what will help you succeed to end the binges. it is absolutely possible even when you feel that there is no hope and you are struggling, everyone here genuinely cares. hang in there.




    Wow, I am already so amazed by and appreciative of the kindness and support in your responses, thank you all!!!

    Today was not the Monday fresh start I needed…I don’t even want to document it. I will be back tomorrow with more details. Now off to read your journals!

    *Technical question…how do you delete a tag? I was trying to search for one of your journals, and didn’t realized I was typing a name into the ‘add a tag’ box, not a ‘search’ box. How silly. Well, until I figure out how to delete it, sorry, Lauren! LOL



    Hey ready2change!

    Sorry your Monday didn’t go too great, if you want to talk about it – I’m here.

    Here’s to a fantastic Tuesday! I know you can do it.

    xx olivia



    Hi D! Is it fine to call you that?

    I’m just dropping by to say that I hope you are having a great day! :-)



    Hey There Ready2 change, and welcome..

    You will find this the best support forum ever!! I too and going through a very similiar and rough out of control patch so I know how you are feeling… i am still right at this moment recovering from a shocking binge yesterday!! icecream is my downfall too !!! So do not be disheartened..

    I would suggest you dont do the whole veggies and fruit thing the next day after.. i have tried that and it only leads to the same thing happening.. just get back to listening to what your body REALLY wants.. NO DEPREVIATION.. we all know that as soon as we start saying its bad or we cannot.. that we wanat it more.. in out of control ways.

    Babe, you have now joined a group that will forever help, guide and support you.. i have only been on here about a month now and come on heaps during the day or night whenever i need to speak to someone, and I cannot explain how much it helps..

    I also know what you mean about how much food you can ingest.. i was wondering that too after the two blocks of chocolate, 2 muffins, a heap of freddo frogs, 2 hedgehog slices and more back at home .. all yesterday within a matter of house..

    YUK.. but all i can do is move on be positive and know that today is a new day xxxxx

    Stay strong.. if i can you can hunni x



    Hmm I’m not sure how to delete a tag but I don’t even know what “tagging” a journal means so no worries! My journal name is Lauren’s Journal =) if you were looking for it. Hope you are having a good day today! ~Lauren




    Wow, so I actually broke the promise I made to myself to have a “day one” two days ago. But rather than beat myself up about it, I’m just going to be thrilled about the fact that I have finally, finally gone a day without bingeing. (Even though as I write it’s taking all my willpower not to order a pizza. I know that if I do I’ll eat the whole thing, so I think that after writing I’m going to just go to bed, even though it’s only 9 lol–the best way I can think of right now to not spoil today.)

    So today I got back on my eating “schedule”–I like to have 5 small meals: breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner. Breakfast was cereal and milk–and only one bowl!, snack was a handful of peanuts, lunch was a plum and slice of cheese, snack was carrots and hummus, and dinner was a Carnation breakfast packet mixed with milk that I had after a really nice workout. I feel so much better already, and it was just yesterday that I was scarfing down cookies. I don’t know why it always takes me so long to go back to the gym, because once I do, I feel so strong and so much happier like I do now.

    In reviewing what I ate, I am concerned that it might not be enough…but I really did try to eat intuitively today, and that’s just what I wanted–I really wasn’t hungry at any mealtime. So, question for those of you that have gone through this: I read your above comments about the veggie/fruit thing or eating too little likely ending in disaster. But if my body really isn’t hungry for a lot–because I guess I’m still full from all the binges–is it OK to eat as little as I did today?

    Thanks for reading, all! Hope your journeys are going well!!



    And some responses:

    Livv–thank you the offer of support! I should have taken you up on it that day because it was an epic failure but I sure might in these upcoming days. Let me know if YOU need some support!

    Vicky–my fellow ice cream victim, lol…it’s nice to hear that you’re going through the same thing. Well, not nice, because for your sake I wish you weren’t, but you know what I mean. You’re right–each day is a new day. How was today for you?

    Lauren–thanks, just glanced at your journal. I can tell you have a lot of experiences and wisdom to share and I look forward to reading through them!

    And to all–yep, calling me D is just fine, a lot of my friends do! :)



    hi ready-to-change, i agree that you didn’t eat very much today but there is no need to beat yourself up over it, maybe try to put a little more protein into your 3 meals? i’m not sure how you want to go about it, but i would be falling over with hunger, so it’s up to you. you are doing FANTASTIC though, please don’t get me wrong. you are making a huge life change, and i feel so much better about myself after joining this site. my fiance notices the difference in me, says that i’m more positive, and also i have practically 100% binge-free days with a few overeats here and there. i hope that you have a great night and if you need anything write to me!!!




    Hi D! Congratulations for making it through day one, or day uno as I say it :-)

    Like purplestorm77 said, don’t beat yourself up over the fact that you ate so little, you’re doing a great job eating five meals a day! As the days go by, you will recover, and I’m sure you will muster the willpower to order a pizza and be able to truly enjoy it.

    Keep it up girl! I’m so proud of you :-) Best of luck on day two!

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