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Do i have binge eating disorder? im so scared? PLEASE ANSWER!
Home › Binge Eating Forum › Binge Eating Support – General Comments, Questions, and Posts › Do i have binge eating disorder? im so scared? PLEASE ANSWER!
July 5, 2011 at 10:42 pm #3752
okay this is gonna be long..so beware…welcome to my life story..i am 12, 5’2″ 1/2 and 113 lbs last time i checked (my mom took the scale away)..
Flashback to one year ago. I was 11, i hated my flabby waist and thighs, i weighed 108-112. i started my period March 2010. i tried a few diets last summer and failed after a day, haha. i ate a lot, but i was a growing girl, i ate when i was hungry, stopped when i was full.
Fast forward to January 2011. I was 12. After eating one night. i decided to weigh myself,,,and i was 126 lbs!! I felt fat. i WAS fat. i knew, drastic measures needed to take place. i looked online for weight lossw websites, installed a calorie counter on my phone. i ate 1200 cals a day, no chocolate, no soda. then track season started, and so did my drastic diet. I ate 500-800 cals per day, and was running 3 miles per day. track was about a little more then 2 months long (i think. i was a state qualifier so my season was a few weeks longer then most people, and btw, i did HORIIBLE at state because i was so weak from not eating.) after track, i noticed my periods were gone, but i didnt think much of it.
Then one day, my parents were on vacation, my sister was at work, my brother was out, and my other brothr was sleeping. i was bored. since my parents were gone, my gradma baked a cake for us and lets not even get into how much leftover easter candy there was. So as i was sitting there, being bored, I suddenly HAD to eat. NEEDED to eat. WANTED to eat. I was 101 lbs, extremely skinny after losing 25 lbs, and i thought, what the heck, i can easily lose it again. So, that was my first binge. Tons of bread, chocolate, candy, cake, u name it, i ate it. I ate everything i ‘couldnt’ eat during my diet. And i loved it.
My second binge came about a week later, i was on a diet again. (btw, after my first binge, i didnt eat for days, trying to lose the weight i gained) And my parents brought home McDonalds. I knew after THAT meal, my diet would be ruined, so i binged again, Thinking, “well i already messed up, might as well make the most of it.”
After that my binges came at least once a week (sometimes it would be 3 days a week, sometimes 1 day a week)
Okay about a month ago, i came closer to God, and binge only once a week. i dont diet anymore, i eat a healthy 1800-2200 cals a day (mostly cause i REALLY want my period to come back after 6 months of it being gone)and i sometimes still binge, but thats the problem. i dont know if its a binge. following the criteria of the definiton of a binge, ill let you tell me!
~Do you eat faster then normal during an episode?~
No. I eat normally or even maybe slowly.
~Eating even when your full?~
Well, sometimes i eat a little more then when im full be usualy when im physically full, i stop. But it takes a while for me to get full, since i have a messed up matabolism.
~Do you feel out of control?~
No, I feel in control. Its not like im covering up anger or sadness. I just WANT TO EAT! cause it tastes good.
~Do you always diet and then eat a large amount of food?~
No, i mean some days ill eat less then usual, but not on purpose. i usually eat a healthy amount for my age, except that one day a week.
~Do you eat a large amount of food during an episode?~
~Do you eat it in a 2 hour period?~
No. if i do eat alot, its throughout the day.
~do u feel guilty after overeating?~
Usually not, but if i think its a binge, yes, if i think its just a little too much, no.
Okay so today for example, i ate ALOT! i dont feel guilty because it tasted SO good, but i do feel guilty thinking i might of ruined my binge free goal! Im so scared i might have BED! If i dont have that, what do i have! Please help! thanks~
f0rksp00nknifeJuly 6, 2011 at 3:26 am #83457
I am not a professional. But i am a teen struggling with BED and i know how scared u r. But i also don’t think u have BED, however u could be on a pathway there… Try not to restrict ur diet, it sounds like that really ur only trigger. You might also consider seeking a professional about what’s going on. I think u just have some serious body and self-esteem issues (join the club ) ur not on a good path but ur not too far gone to turn around. Continue and u’ll be stuck braveing ur own trail with the rest of us : / if u feel it helps continue using the forum. We all have the same goal in mind, healthy and safe habitatsJuly 6, 2011 at 3:30 pm #83458
Thank you for your reply! Since i still binge sometimes (my goal is never) i will stay on this forum website.
God bless you and i wish u luck on your binge free goal!July 6, 2011 at 8:30 pm #83459
I was in a very similar situation about last year. I am also a competitive athlete (swimmer) and during 8th grade and my senior year of high school I lost a lot of weight, through restrictive eating, managing calories, and obsessing about food. Last year when I was 18, 5 foot two, and at my thinnest i weighed 98 to 99 pounds. After starting college and for similar reasons, I started binging, almost trying to take control of my biggest fear: gaining weight, by doing it to myself. Throughout my freshman year at school my habit worsened as yours did, I would binge maybe once every three or two weeks, and now I can barely go without a binge for more than three or four days. I am now a healthy weight for my height and look a lot better, but that doesn’t mean this habit can take a toll on your health. As you probably know, it makes you feel guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, and frustrated. I just recently came out and told my family about my problem, which was really hard for me, after years of denying the fact that I had a distorted body image and unhealthy relationship with eating. I am know receiving counseling, and just want to let you know to not be afraid to admit there is a problem, and seek help, tell someone, confront it, before it becomes a real problem and a bad habit. Don’t feel overwhelmed, there are so many people who are dealing with the same things: eating for comfort, eating all the “bad” foods that you banned yourself from eating before, binging because you feel like you already screwed up your diet. Believe me, I’ve been dealing with the same problems. Today was one of the first days in awhile I was able to eat something “bad” like cookies and chocolate without it spiraling downward into a binge. Addressing that you have an unhealthy relationship with food and talking it out and getting help is the first step. Believe in yourself that you can do it, your life is your choice! Good luckJuly 7, 2011 at 8:45 pm #83460
honey, you’re 12 years old.
Don’t worry about weight, this issues shouldn’t be a problem at such a young age.
You don’t sounds overweight and i don’t think you have an eating disorder.
But don’t focus on it because these issues can get worse in later life and turn into full blown binge eating disorder like many of us here on the forum have struggled or do struggle with.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxJuly 8, 2011 at 1:50 pm #83461
Thank you for your replies! I feel a lot better now! And congrats to stow92 for eating without bingeing!
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