Binge Eating Forum » Eating Accountability Journal

Denise's journal

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  1. dross313
    Member

    JUNE 18TH

    well here is my first journal. I am 43 and i have been a binge eater since i was 12 years old. Thats when i remember my first one. I mostly binge in sweets. I love sweets!! When i am binging on sweets i feel so happy!! its like a euphoria. I am in my own little world and nobody can touch me, bother me. when im done i am so disgusted with myself, its like i want to hurt myself and im not worthy to be sexy and thin. Its crazy!! Well, everyday i start my morning with today is my diet day, and by noon its all over. so guess what, tomorrow is a new day. No more diets!!! I need to get in a different mind set, Tomorrow i am going to stop worring about food. I think i obcess about it and drive myself crazy till i just binge. I am tired of food, sound crazy? Everyday i am coming here and venting my food issues my binges and i hope it helps me.
    till tomorrow,
    Denise

    Posted 1 year ago #

  2. Andrew Bolis
    Forum Administrator

    Denise,

    Thank you for honestly sharing. I can really relate to your use of the term "euphoria". For me I'd be really stressed out (although i wouldn't admit that to myself) and my mind would be running at a 100 miles per hour constantly worrying about this or that and I would reach for junk food. Instantly my mind would shut down at least for a few minutes while I binged and I would experience a temporary peace. But then that never lasted long of course, after I'm done bingeing I'd realize what I just did and get depressed over falling off track once again.

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    Posted 1 year ago #

  3. dross313
    Member

    June 20

    really bad day yesterday!!! i ate all day!!!! something is bothering me and i cant figure out what. i am eating like this for a reason and i think it might be my husbend and his job situation or lack of one. our money is so tight and my business is down and we are struggling like crazy, like everyone else. i eat for comfort and im sick of it. I started taking L-Cartintine and i heard and read its a natural appitite suppressant so i am trying this to see if it works. I was going to a diet dr doing the pill and shots and it works but gets costly. i really dont want to go back to that so i am trying a natural thing. anyone try L-Cartintine? well i will let you know how it works. I am off to work, its going to be busy so i hope that helps me not eat.
    Denise

    Posted 1 year ago #

  4. jacquirsw1
    Member

    Hi Denise

    I can understand completely where you are coming from.

    One of the things I would say is that one of the best ways to gain control over your binge eating is to stop dieting, it really does perpentuate the cycle. you are more likely to lose weight consistantly and keep it off long term by gaining control of the binging and then letting your body find it's natural weight than you are by diet/binge.

    it is a long slog as well but it is great that you are starting to look for the reasons / emotions behind the binges. for me there are loads, stress, tiredness, boredom, self loathing at times all contribute to it, but by recognising these I am gradually gaining control, I have also had to realise that there is no quick fix and that I need to be patient with myself when binges happen.

    Jacqui

    Posted 1 year ago #

  5. dross313
    Member

    Thanks jacqui!!! I am really trying to not diet anymore!! Just eat less and workout and relax!!!
    Denise

    Posted 1 year ago #

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