Having an eating disorder is like being on a roller coaster sometimes. Are you eating enough? Is this why you are wanting to binge? Everyone over eats so don’t feel guilty. You didn’t binge take it a day at a time. Your op will still happen whether you lose or gain in the next few weeks. Try and look beyond that. Keep smiling!
I am no expert but I think your food looks great. Sorry for stating that you have got an eating disorder – I certainly did not mean to offend you – I hope you know that? It is a case of plugging away at it. But the main thing is that you are prepared to keep plugging away. You are fighting back and giving yourself the best chance of beating this. The real problems start when we give up the fight.
You didn’t offend me at all, I do have an eating disorder it’s just seeing it in black and White. I think it made me realise that that’s the reason I’m struggling because I have a mixed up view of food and BED is the reason for that so I mustn’t be so hard on myself. Going to the harvester tonight for dinner, so another mind field of what to eat, so while my friends just choose and that’s it I will spend most of the time fighting with myself!
When I last wrote on the forum I was up and down, well no surprise I’m still up and down! I have been preparing for an op on my knee (trying to lose weight). It should of been two weeks ago, then tomorrow but its been cancelled again. This has made my BED soooooooo soooooooo bad!!!
I am eating terrible I cant remember when I last felt hungry. I had my pre op on jan 4th and I have put on 9lbs since then! 9lbs! I know some of that is sheer weight of food in me, as I did manage on Saturday to eat normally and was 3lbs lighter the next day. But oh god it makes me more scared about the op now. My clothes are tight, my nightwear for hospital is very tight and I can see it in my face.
The stress is tipping me over the edge with food and the last time I was like this was when my mum died. Its not the same emotions but its the same massive loss of control with food.
Im a lost case and I think they will take me in for bariatric surgery rather than my knee!