day 7, and struggling want to binge!

[tinkerbellParticipant]

Hi this is my first post on the forum. Im 39 and been a binge eater since I was 13 years old. I have lost many stones, put back on many stones and done dieting of all kinds, counselling, read loads of stop binge eating books you name it I have tried it. I have gone back to what helped me the best- writing a journal healthy eating and trying to exercise. Im day 7 and found today hard always start full of hope this is it never again will I binge then by this amount of days I start thinking no I cant do it. I was on internet and found this site and thought wow there are other people like me, struggling like me. Im so private about my binge eating, I no every trick there is to getting, hiding, removal of evidence and eating food! But I have only ever shared that with my sister. Thank you for reading this xx

[lynneParticipant]

Thank YOU for posting it….for being willing to be open with others. Your body is a beautiful, wonderful creation and doesn’t deserve to be mistreated, and it’s awesome that you’ve made the choice for 7 days not to binge. I’m proud of you. When we’re tempted to give in to immediate pleasures, we have to remember the greater reward in doing the right thing! Do whatever is necessary to continue strong…even if it means having to change your physical location to get out of a place where you’re alone and can give in.

Identify your triggers and come up with substitutionary behaviors to enact when you’d normally binge.

God bless you.

[GeeGeeParticipant]

I agree that being by yourself is a major binge-trigger. It’s gotten pretty bad with me and binging, but I feel that my situation has improved a bit since I started going on this forum and also keeping a journal here. I haven’t gotten any replies on it, but it helps me keep track of myself I guess. I still slip up here and there, but I try not to let it get to me. If you’ve been going strong for 7 days, I think it’s okay for you to let yourself have a treat here and there .

[tinkerbellParticipant]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REPLYING!!! day 8 and woke up fed up sure Im not losing weight. Being my first week thought I would weigh, and lost 2lbs in a week. If honest bit gutted Im fat should be more. Then I checked my diary and in 2006 I played it cool! Healthy eating exercise and keeping a journal. I lost a steady 2lbs a week, and in 7 months I was 4stone 8lbs lighter. Last year I spent the whole year on and off dieting 8lbs off binging then 7lbs on etc. Then by 7 months I had put on 8lbs from when I started! So I have to remember its one small step at a time, not panicking and eating like a normal healthy person. Off to London with my sister thursday till saturday hope I can stay strong and come home a non binger, how amazing that would be!!! xxxxxxxx

[SarahParticipant]

Hey Tinkerbell,

My advice to you would be to not to diet. Make sure you are eating healthy etc a big thing for me was making sure to

>eat protein with each meal. DEF. keeps you fuller for longer and also

>making sure at-least 1/2 your plate is veges.

>I think eating too much carbs can muck around with your blood sugars a-lot and cause binging (and I would know Im a diabetic.. I have to count my carbs daily).

I was really skepticle about changing my diet before, but I needed to do it as my (type 1) diabetes was out of control. I talked to an 80 year old man who is still alive and no complications from his diabetes and he said that the key to health is diet, and I think this goes for anyone not just diabetics.

>Eat simple, lots of veges, protein, not too much variety.

>Get into a good routine. And this does not mean to have forbidden foods, if you want some choc have some.

Whats funny though, is aside from a couple times in my 1st week or so of changing my diet, I have not craved chocolate etc at all. I brought my bf a choc bar the other day and I said to myself ‘you can have one if you like sarah’ but I honestly didn’t even feel like one at all which would have been crazy for me before! I was eating ice cream every night before and now I don’t even want it. I think binge eating is def. atleast partly a habbit that just needs to be broken. Im not saying thats all there is to it becuase I have grown alot in this past few years too, but getting into good healthy habbits has really worked for me so far.

>Also being open minded and trying new things was another key aspect that helped me to overcome BED.

Hope this is helpful xx

[tinkerbellParticipant]

Hi Sarah

Thank you, that is good advice. I have to be so careful of myself because I can get very all or nothing. I wonder if this is normal for BED or its just me! I can eat and eat till I feel sick or I can be so good on healthy eating that I wont have anything I consider naughty. I am eating loads of veg/salad/fruit at the moment (costing me a fortune, but have to laugh when I’m binging I don’t care about the £!!)but I think I get very anal and I need to relax abit. I have spent most of my day monitoring my eating. My daughter said mum why arent you having the same tea as us (pasta veg and sausage bake), and I said oh I like my salad. Then spent most of meal thinking yes why arent you eating that stop being so all or nothing. How do you change those thoughts when you have had them for years and years? Thank you so much for the replies its so so nice not to feel alone! xxx

[LaurenParticipant]

Gosh I understand what you are saying…I felt like my brain was mega programed to only eating super healthy foods….and feeling like I had to eat literally a PERFECT diet. The trick is that we do really have to re-program our brains. It starts with super baby steps. Allowing yourself a treat every day, allowing yourself to have a “bad” food and telling yourself its totally ok and nothing to feel bad about…..eventually you will begin to see that all foods are literally ok as long as they are eaten in moderation, and the only thing that is blocking you from being able to eat those foods in moderation, is your conviction that those foods are bad and you are not allowed to eat them with the fear that if you do, you will binge. ~L

[tinkerbellParticipant]

Hi I’m back from my amazing trip to London with my sister. OMG food was such a test, one minute I was yeh I can do this its easy just don’t go mad, then the next minute NO I cant do it,I cant have fun without food arrrr!. My sister was amazing and kept talking to me, she to has the same problem but she has never been as big as me. We talked a lot about food and why we cant control are feelings to binge. I have to thank Lauren loads because that message was a great help. I need to stop being anal and stop thinking to myself if I consider that food healthy or naughty. I had a low fat pizza the first day and big mistake I was really hungry all afternoon and when I was choosing my tea I really wanted to binge. Then I walked away for a moment from the food on offer and thought don’t you will be so upset if you do that. I didn’t phew!! The next day I had a normal pizza and I felt satisfied and didn’t want anything else to eat for ages. Lauren point proven thank you! I am now going into my 3rd week and I have lost 6lbs and no binging wow wow wow! I so hope I can keep this up. I think sometimes we have to take it minute by minute and hopefully in time it will be hour by hour/ day by day/ month by month! Hard isn’t it but, so nice not to feel alone. xxxxx

[charlieParticipant]

Hi Tinkerbell

I so understand where you are coming from. I too have battled for many years and it is so frustrating isn’t it? My binging is under control (for now)! But I still have a tendency to avoid fat/sugar so when I do have it I over eat. Lauren’s advice is spot on. We need to just see food as food and not classify it as good or bad. Eat when hungry, stop when full. Sounds easy … I wish! Keep up the great work – 6lbs and no binge is amazing. You should be so proud of yourself.

Charlie

[tinkerbellParticipant]

Hi Charlie thank you for the message. I think we must all struggle with the do you eat chocolate, cake etc I know they say in moderation its ok but I find once I have a bit I wake my little monster and then it wants more and more and its so hard to start again. I guess we are all different and it works for some and not for others. I’m nearly at the 3 week mark. Phew been hard and really trying to conquer binge eating and aware I need to lose weight, reckon I have 4 stone to loss but mustn’t panic. I love reading messages like your because it gives me hope that I can get a good relationship with food like you.Also to be aware that once a binger always a binger and to be careful. Guess its not giving up. xxxxxxx

[wnaberParticipant]

Hi, I am new. This is my first post. I am a chronic binger. I have lost 100 pounds twice. For the past five years, I was in control and all was well. Perhaps I was too proud. I worked really hard on taking good care of myself. I was terrified to struggle so hard again.A year ago February, I began to slip. Now, I am totally in trouble. I cannot get through even one day without binging. Not one. I make myself so sick. I feel sick. I am 54, soon to be 55, and I want to control myself. I popped buttons off of my pants last week. I have gained 25 pounds. 75 more are around the corner. Lots of family problems and pressures. My best friend died after 6 weeks, Pancreatic Cancer. That did not start a binge, I was already on full speed. Can anyone talk to me about how to get through one day? Has anyone felt that horrible panic and stress, when you struggle so hard to give in, and then you do? Thanks for listening, Wynne

[wnaberParticipant]

Hi, I am new. This is my first post. I am a chronic binger. I have lost 100 pounds twice. For the past five years, I was in control and all was well. Perhaps I was too proud. I worked really hard on taking good care of myself. I was terrified to struggle so hard again.A year ago February, I began to slip. Now, I am totally in trouble. I cannot get through even one day without binging. Not one. I make myself so sick. I feel sick. I am 54, soon to be 55, and I want to control myself. I popped buttons off of my pants last week. I have gained 25 pounds. 75 more are around the corner. Lots of family problems and pressures. My best friend died after 6 weeks, Pancreatic Cancer. That did not start a binge, I was already on full speed. Can anyone talk to me about how to get through one day? Has anyone felt that horrible panic and stress, when you struggle so hard to give in, and then you do? Thanks for listening, Wynne

[charlieParticipant]

Hi Tinkerbell

You are doing so, so well. 3 weeks is absolutely amazing and it does get easier with time. The less you binge the less likely you are to binge so long as you are listening to your body and giving it what it needs. I still struggle with eating sweet stuff in moderation. I know it is because I am still restricting that type of food – although not restricting food and definitely eating enough. A classic example was last night when I passed on having some chocolate cake that the rest of the family had. I wanted some but also had a self-righteous feeling of “look at how strong my will power is”. Well that came crashing down 2 hours later when I had 2 massive bowls of cereal. Why? OK so not a binge I know, but annoyingly I probably had 3 or 4 times the amount of food (OK I mean calories!) than if I had just had a piece of chocolate cake in the first place. And I missed out on the cake!! There is no justice in this world when you have an ED!!!!!! But I still don’t trust that 1 piece of cake will stay at 1 piece of cake. There is definitely something physiological that seems to kick in once I taste the sweet stuff that “makes” me keep going back for more! I really want to be able to have just one portion but I also know I need to eat it more regularly in order to do it.

Charlie xx

(Hi Wynne – why don’t you start a journal so people know you are looking for support?x)

[tinkerbellParticipant]

[tinkerbellParticipant]

Hi Wynne I agree with Charlie a journal is a relly good way to get support and advice which may help you. The main thing is your in the right forum because we all are going through the same with ED.

Charlie thank you again and so agree, in 2006 I read a book called stop binge eating by Lee Jangley ( I think she was the author) and she explains that when you are a binge eater you have a trigger food, what ever that may be (mines chocolate for sure!) and if you cut that trigger food out then you stop binge eating, also you keep a food diary. I did the no chocolate thing for 3 years and lost 8 stone! Oh yeh 8 stone and no dieting and no yoyo weight. Then in 2009 I had a bad knee and got told I had to have two big operations and panic so I did what I do best and turned to my friend chocolate. Told myself chocolate biscult didnt count as it wasnt a chocolate bar etc than yes you guessed it I went mental and ate everything I hadnt allowed myself to have in 3 years so I have put 4 stone back on, ok could be worse but not graet when you have a new wardrobe and people look at you and they must be thinking oh there she goes again! So back to square one but Im playing it cool this time, telling myself I can have chocolate if I want to but Im not choosing it at the moment. Not an amazing plan but like you its slow steps. I think we are very simular I expect you sat at the table with your family and while everyone was talking and enjoying yourself you were thinking should I, shouldnt I then the yeh I did it then the oh I wish I had! and the cereal bowl followed! I think you did amazing really amazing because I think ok it was more food/calories than you needed but with the ceral it stopped there where as if you had the chocolate cake you would of thought yep that was good what else can I have. Also chocolate gives us a big rush of sugar leaving us wanting more. So I think you should be proud of yourself!

I worked yestarday and they had cream cakes, chocolate biscults, cakes oh and sweets fabulous I thought but I went off to the toilet and thought no you are not hungry and it will spoil everything walk away, phew I did but its so hard isnt it!

Good luck for the rest of the day xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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