How To Stop Binge Eating

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Daily Binge Eating journal/ reflection

Home Binge Eating Forum Eating Accountability Journal Daily Binge Eating journal/ reflection

This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  outofcontrol_12 2 years, 1 month ago.

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  • #5244

    StrongRunner
    Participant

    Hi! My name’s Mary, and I’ll be running at the Division I level next year as a freshman.

    Today, I went on a run (it was supposed to be an easy 7 miles), and I felt TERRIBLE. Granted, it was in the heat of the day, but I used to be able to deal with that heat when I was thinner and more in control of my body.

    Today’s experience prompted me to join this forum. I’ve struggled long enough on my own with controlling my binge eating problem. Last year (as a junior), I had the best running year of my life. I was underweight (about 98 pounds and 5’5″), but I never felt fatigued or tired, just light and springy. Then, my parent threatened to prohibit me from competing if I didn’t put on some weight. So I did during the spring, and I came up to about 105-110 pounds. I still felt pretty light; I just looked less severe. On the last day of school, my boyfriend broke up with me, ending a rather tumultuous relationship and leaving me feeling like shit. I didn’t feel like anyone understood what I was going through, but baking was comforting to me. I turned to baking as my way of relating with my family and friends (which of course they loved), and my weight slowly crept up to about 115 over the summer. This year, I competed pretty well in cross country, but not as well as I was expected to. My coaches wanted me to break 18:30 in the 5k, and my best time was a 19:01. I had another boyfriend for a few months, but he was too immature and clingy for my liking, so I ditched him. His guilting me about the break-up, as well as typical senior year stresses, led me to gain another 5 pounds over the winter by binge-eating and constant overeating.

    Now, it’s a week before the end of my senior year, and there’s nothing I’d like more than to regain self-control over how I treat my body. My college coach recently sent me my summer workout schedule, which is intimidating and stressful and exciting all at the same time. Being able to complete the workouts makes me feel so good about myself; but the days that I can’t finish the workouts leave me absolutely in the dumps. I end up feeling hopeless and worthless and turn to the fridge or pantry, thinking “Whats the point? I’m never going to be a good runner anyways. I’ll never be as hard-working and determined as I once was.” My parents refuse to acknowledge my problem as a binge-eating disorder, and they think I don’t need to talk to a therapist. Honestly, I don’t know what I’d get out of talking with a therapist, but it makes me so angry that they don’t understand the pain and pressure I’m going through. Sometimes, I feel like it’s because they’re mad at me – for being a humanist rather than a Christian, for not wanting to have some summer fling, for only getting $2000 in scholarship money instead of a full-ride like some of my friends, for choosing the better but more expensive school, etc.

    So that’s why I’m turning to you all. I believe in “strength in numbers”, and I do believe in myself. I know that you and I have the experience and the intelligence to stop binge-eating; I just need some help in the perseverance department. I’ve heard that it takes 2 weeks to develop a habit – so I’ll be updating this forum for the next FOUR weeks. Thank you all for your help – I really do appreciate it.

    #95304

    outofcontrol_12
    Participant

    Hey StongRunner,

    How you doing???

    I’m sorry for the challenges that you are going through..and especially that your parents don’t understand. It’s really hard for others to fully grasp how hard this thing if they haven’t experienced it.

    I always suggest, talking to a professional. Sometimes it’s just good to vent, but then again there is always this forum too.

    We are here to support each other, so please keep us posted on your progress.

    Hope all is well xx

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