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CoffeeClub's 1st Journal

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Started 5 months ago by coffeeclub
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1st Journal

coffeeclub
Member

It's over. About 3 times a year I go nuts. I have Bi-Polar which mean I have extreme mood swings. I am on meds for it. It does work ok. But I can not handle stress very well. And at the beginning of February I lost it.

When I lose it, I become manic and all my will power goes to keeping myself sane.

So started drinking again then I left my wife, after that I started eating bad then the workout stops then I waste lots of money.

There comes a part where it is over and I again re-gain control. About a 2 weeks ago I woke up and I knew it was over. I was sane again and I had my will power back and all that was left to do is fix my life.

I first stopped drinking, then I moved back home so those 2 things are fixed. Next I have to work on eating. For the last week and a half everyday was my last day of eating bad. I woke up this morning and I think I do have the will power to quit.

My last Manic attack was over in the middle of October 2009. At that time I weighed 246 then at the beginning of February I weighed 207 and this morning I weighed 224.

So I am going to continue to fix my life. I am I sure work out a couple of times this week. I think by this coming payday I will have the money thing under control and sometime next week I will start to work out consistently. Then my life will be back to normal.

Here is what sucks going by the past this is a life circle. My life will go fine for the next 3 or 4 months. And then I will start to gradually lose control then one day boom I will be manic again.

It is hard enough fighting off all the urges to drink, eat, and spend money. Then I go manic and ruin everything thing I worked for. Well I guess not totally ruined because I only gained half of the weight back that I worked so hard to lose. So sincerely as bad as it is it could have been worse.

I do think I have made changes in my life that might prevent it from it happening again. My guess is that it will not fully work. But the good news is my manic not be as bad as it has been. But I will fight the good fight and do what ever I have to do in order to prevent it from happening again. I think my wife is going to keep an eye on my stress levels and back off a bit when she notices that I am starting to get too stressed out. I also think that we made changes that might prevent me from getting to stresses out thus I do not lose control again.

Please provide any comments even if you do not relate.

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

So when you aren't bingeing, what is your diet like? Are you trying to diet/restrict outside of binges? Are you eating to cope with emotions? Whats your relationship like with food? ~Lauren

Posted 5 months ago #
coffeeclub
Member

I do ok. It is a consistent battle. Every day I am fight off the urge to eat. I do not walk by vending machines at work, I do not go down the candy isle. I watch lots of shows that inspire me. For me I can not have anything that is bad for you otherwise I will not stop. I work out to help motivate me. It is a bit easier if I burn 200 calories not to eat. I make sure that I eat enough so I do not snack.

How come when we over eat we can't like things like oranges or apples. It has to be stuff like pasta, or cheese bread or pizza or chips?

So I end up spending a lot of time cooking because that is the only way to eat decent. Every sweet I make is fat free. Like Fat Free, pudding, or frozen yogurt ice cream. I know they say this is not the best but if I start to eat the good stuff like chips, one or to pieces of candy I will not stop until the whole bag is gone. Then it will be days until I can get control again.

I have ate a whole bag of chocolate then went to the store to by more. It I will not be around cake because I will sincerely eat the whole pan.

So when I go on my manic stage all my will power goes to keeping myself sane and then I have no will power left to fight off urges to eat.

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey there..I can relate to how you eat..that is how I used to eat and I def. used to believe that I couldn't have one cookie or treat without eating them all. But really letting go of that and forcing yourself to have those forbidden foods in moderation without guilt is the key to getting rid of the binges. The more you tell yourself you shouldn't/can't have something, the more you will end up bingeing on it. Its a scary, uncomfortable process eating what you want and not restricting things from your diet, but it is the thing that really works. Give that a try...it will help!

Posted 5 months ago #
Ecu
Member

You created 3 journals. How about doing just 1 journal?

Posted 5 months ago #
coffeeclub
Member

Hello everyone,

I would like to start out by telling you all what my goal is. My goal is to live until I am 90 years old. As long as I am in good health until I am 90 I will be happy. I have a child and I want to watch his kids (my grand kids) Instead of sending the kids to day-care while he works I will be willing to take them. I not only want to be around for my boy I want to be around for my grand kids. That is what I am fighting for.

I know I do not have control over everything health wise but as long as I do everything in my power to be healthy I will be happy.

Well yesterday went pretty well. I was able to keep my goal. It was so hard. Yesterday we went out to eat. I had a chicken sandwich and it came with fries. I removed the fries from my plate and I was able to fight the urge to eat them.

Before I went out to eat I ate some soup so I was not too hungry. When I was at home I avoided the candy dish. It was hard but I would not even look in to it. I wanted to so bad. I just wanted to know how many pieces were left.

Last night when I went to bed it was hard. I am a midnight eater. I woke up at about midnight I managed not to look in the candy dish but I was looking though all the cupboards. Luckily I did not find anything. I kept thinking I wished I had brought chocolate frozen yogurt.

I was able to go back to bed. But about an hour later I was back in the cupboards. I managed to find Golden Graham's and a peanut butter and Jelly sandwich. That was good enough for that night.

I woke up this morning. I had a can of soup ready to go to work with me. I thought about the vending machines. I thought well I can fight the urge. Then I thought I probably couldn't.

Every time I try I start with one candy bar then then some how I con myself into buying more. It seems as no matter how hard I try I go though all the dollar bills in my pocket. And sometimes I get change for a five dollar bill. I even borrow money to get stuff from the vending machines.

Anyway before I left for work I made sure to eat breakfast. I had Golden Graham and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I forced myself to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to eat at lunch. So I have a can of soup, rice cakes, and a peanut butter sandwich to last me though the work day.

Then when I get home tonight I will fight that battle. I am hoping to go running tonight.

Thanks for readying
Coffee Club

Posted 5 months ago #
Ecu
Member

Hi Coffee Club,

It´s great that you have your own goals and hope you reach them. Overcoming BE will definitely make a difference to get to your goals.

Guess having that habit to wake up during the night to eat is a habit difficult to get rid off, but not undoable. A way for you to avoid that could be to have larger meals during the day so you do not feel like in diet-modus and binge.

Remember, if you do not give gas to your living machine, it will take the fuel whenever it wants, know what I mean? If you also want to have some sweets or fries, whatever... it is ok, as long as you eat reasonable quantities. It is like everything in life, moderation is the key!

Hope you have a binge-free night

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey there...that goal is a very honorable one and def. a good motivator! Man that would be hard to be waking up at midnight to eat! What time do you go to bed? Maybe you aren't eating enough at dinner that you wake up hungry during the night? Or having a nice dinner plus a snack right before you go to bed would help that? I know what you mean about the vending machines..I used to get 10 things out at once or borrow money to get 4-5 things. But what helped me was letting myself have those treats in moderation...cutting them out only makes you crave them more...then if you do cave and have bite, you feel so guilty you end up bingeing. So best case scenario is reintroducing those "bad" foods back in to eat moderately. we all believed here we could never do it, and most of us are now...so you can too! Have a nice day! ~Lauren

Posted 5 months ago #
coffeeclub
Member

Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this. It always helps when I share my feelings.

Well yesterday went pretty well. I was prepared for my midnight snack. I had fat free tapioca pudding and I had chocolate frozen yogurt ready to go.

yesterday I had a decent dinner. But I ended up eating a second serving of mashed potatoes and an extra roll. But all things considered it could have been worse.

Yesterday my family went to the club house. It was make you own loaded baked potato night. I did not want to go but I did not have much of a choice. I tried to fight the urges to get the baked potato with melted cheese, bacon bits and sour cream but I lost

I worked hard, and I stopped eating about a quarter way though the potato. Then I walked away. I did break down and I did have to come back and take a few more bites. I walked away again but came back 3 times to get a little more. I left about 1/4 of the potato. So it could have have been much worse. I did start munching on my boys potato but I took the parts without any of the toppings it was just the potato. mmmm good, I love potato's

For the last 2 days I have not touched any of the candy in the candy dish. This is good because just last week I was eating all of it and getting in trouble by my wife because I did not leave her or my boy any. So then I had to go to the store and by more candy. Then I ate all that candy too. hehehe I had to buy 3 bags of candy because I kept eating it. So now I am on the 4th bag and I have not touched it in the last 2 days Yahoo!!!

I did have some cereal for breakfast. So I should I should be ok to wait until 10:00 for my morning snack

I brought a banana, soup, rice cake, a small bowl of Cheerios and a pb&j sandwich to work. So I should be able to stay away from the vending machines.

I haven't worked out this week and I hope to work out today.

Tonight I plan on having a Smart Ones Chicken Parmesan chicken tv dinner, I will have a pieces of garlic toast and a Caesar salad with fat free curtains and fat free Caesar salad dressing. I will put very little Parmesan Cheese on it. and for desert I will have the last tapioca pudding. I know that after I eat all that I will want more but I will fight the urge. Then in 20 minutes or so my stomach should feel just fine. I will not be stuffed like I like to be but I should be ok and I should be able to fight the urges to eat more.

Then if I need a bedtime snack I will have some Golden Graham's and a piece of jelly toast.

If I get up at mid night and need a snack I am going to have chocolate frozen yogurt

I feel asleep before the end of the biggest loser. I made it all the way to the weigh in. I have it recorded so I will finish watching it tonight Please no one tell me the outcome.

I welcome any comments

Posted 5 months ago #
Button
Member

Hi there.

I just thought I'd stop by and let you know that I do read your journal, even though I don't comment on it. (I'm such a lurker!)

I think your way of thinking in terms of mini victories is admirable. It's a good way to do things because it'll help you to focus on the good rather than the bad. So keep that up!

Well done on forcing yourself to sort things out to eat throughout the day. It'll make a huge difference if you eat regularly, and will probably help you to avoid those late night binges.

Keep writing, you're doing great.

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey your dinner sounds fine! And you did totally ok with that baked potato! If you love them, let yourself have them. Its trying to resist it and then feeling guilty for having a few more bite that brings on the trouble. All the restrictions your mind has for certain foods is what makes those bingeing urges come. Sounds like you've got a good plan for today! Hope you have a lovely day. ~l

Posted 5 months ago #
coffeeclub
Member

Yesterday went well. I met all my eating goals. Except I had a crouton that I should not have. I know, it is no big deal, but none the less I wish I would not have had it.

I did not workout yesterday.

Today is my Friday so no work tomorrow yahoo!!! I can thank the school district for that because my boy has no school. yahoo!!!

I plan on taking him and me to our local gym. They have small water park, a lap pool a diving board, hot tub and of course a gym and a running track.

I will ride the elliptical and the exercise bike. Most likely I will stay away from running right now. I will probably take advantage of the hot tub.

Today I had Golden Graham's and a slice of jelly toast for breakfast.

SOB!!! I just remember, I forgot my soup for lunch. I still have my snacks.
I have a banana, rice cakes, PB&J sandwich, and Cheerios for snacks at work. I will see how it pans out. Luckily I have no money today. That does not always mean anything because I can just borrow it. Ok, as I am typing Subway is starting to sound good

For dinner tonight Tomato Soup and grilled cheese sandwiches with fat free Kraft Sliced Cheese, fat free crackers. a salad and more tapioca pudding. I am thinking that I will have 2 sandwiches.

Last night I made strawberry & banana smoothies and they were wonderful. I most likely will make me and my family some of them tonight and I will probably make blue berry muffins for a snack.

I have not broke in to the the chocolate frozen yogurt but I am sure that I will be very soon. mmm chocolate

I should stop at the store and get some more Golden Graham's and milk

Also I have been slacking with balancing my bills. I need enter in to the computer what I spent and what bills I need to pay next payday. Ugh, I just want to keep procrastinating

As far as the biggest loser goes,
It sucks that Cheryl was eliminated. Heck it sucks when anyone is eliminated. Cheryl I saw look now and she looked great. I think her goal was to be down to 140 or 130 by the time the seaons ends. I can't wait to see.

I hope you all have a wonderful day

CoffeeClub

Posted 5 months ago #
Louise
Member

HI Coffee Club.. i have just caught up with your journal..
so are you with your wife ?
You seem to be how I used to be,.. i related to the bit when you said you took the fries off your plate and just had the burger.,.. that to me restricting, not allowing yourself to eat, making it a forbidden food.
The main thing I have learnt on here, is to eat ANYTHING I want, which in all honesty is healthy stuff 90% of the time, WHEN my body tells me it needs to eat. calorie counting, forbidden foods, the whole restrictive diet mentality has been thrown out the window and I am feeling better and more in control than ever. Have you tried this approach ?
You seem very lovely and i hope to share this journey with you and offer support Welcome to the forum

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey CC. I'm excited for you that there is no work tomorrow!! Sounds like you'll have a nice time at the gym with your son! Oh my please don't stress about a crouton..its that guilt and inflexibility that leads to trouble so try to not let it creep in when you veer off your plan a little! Hope you have a nice day! ~L

Posted 5 months ago #
coffeeclub
Member

Yesterday at work went well, I met my eating goals %100.

When I got home I was pretty hungry and I stayed hungry though out the night. I got to bed around 9.

When I got home I had a salad, some tapioca pudding. Then a strawberry and banana smoothie, then a can of chunky soup, then 2 grilled cheeses sandwiches and some tomato soup. Then some Ice cream then another can of chunky soup. Then I finally went to bed. I did wake up in the middle of the night hungry but I fought the urge for a midnight snack.

I am pretty proud that I stayed away from anything bad. All that I am guilty of is eating more calories than I would have liked to.

I don't have work today and I am just as hungry as I was yesterday. I have only been up for a little while and I have had to bowls of cereals.

I think I am going to make some pancakes for me and my boy. Hopefully that will do me until lunch time. At lunch me and my boy can go to subway or something.

I’m hoping that I make it the gym and have a decent workout.

Have a wonderful day

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey CC..glad you met all your goals for yesterday! and were able to avoid your midnight eating! Hope you had fun making pancakes with your son and got a nice workout in~ Keep up the great work! ~Lauren

Posted 5 months ago #
Ecu
Member

Great improvements!!!! Congrats!!!

Posted 5 months ago #
coffeeclub
Member

Yesterday went ok. I had a bit more than I wanted to for dinner. Me and my family went to my mom's house and my sister was there too. I made dinner for everyone.

I made BBQ and Hot chicken tenders. They have about .05 grams of fat per 4 oz.

I made a caesar salad for everyone. Everything thing but the parmesan was fat free. The parmesan cheese only had 1.5 grams per serving. I am guessing that we each had between 2 and 3 servings. Then I made fat free blue berry muffins. mmm good.

the whole dinner was 600 calories. My family love my dinner and I was pretty proud of it too.

I know I should not watch calories but I can't help it.

Not sure what I am going to make for dinner. I am thinking mexican pizza (%96 Fat Free Hamburger and Fat Free Cheddar cheese) but the mozzarella has to be part skim. And I will have some brown rice and I'll make some pudding. But that is assuming I am cooking.

If I don't have that I will have some smartone TV dinners.

I know that they say that just because there is not any fat in food does not mean there is less calories. Well for the most part this is not true. Heck the item that gives food more calories is the fat. I spend a lot of time reading labels.

Today I am looking for a place to go with my Family I am thinking the history museum. Tonight I might watch the fight and play cards.

For breakfast I had a bowl of Golden Grahams cereal and 3 smaller fat free pan cakes. In a while I am going to make some smoothies. I am still working out the exact amount of each integrants to get it to taste just right.

Haven't been to the gym in about 2 weeks. I am sure that I will start going again soon

Well, I am going to respond to a couple of other journals and then tend to my family

See ya all and have I nice day.
cc

Posted 5 months ago #
Louise
Member

well done, mini victories..
Hope you got a good workout in

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hey CC...YUM that dinner you made sounded delicious!! Yeah it probably is better to not focus so much on calories but you got to take baby steps and do what you are comfortable with for now. We'll have you intuitively eating in no time I hope you have fun tonight watching the fight and playing cards! ~Lauren

Posted 5 months ago #
coffeeclub
Member

I had a ok weekend. I watched a boxing match with my family and neighbors, watched a couple of good movies. Caught up on desperate housewife's, the biggest loser and started to watch the Apprentice. Yeah, I am not impressed with the Apprentice. I might watch it here or there. I want to follow Rod Blagojevich. I actually kind of like him.

As far as eating went I would not say I had a binge festival but I defiantly ate more calories than I planned to. On Saturday we went to Green Mill for lunch. It was a late lunch and I did not snack so I was really hungry by the time we got there. I got pasta and my wife got a hot sandwich we shared the food. I took half of her sandwich and she to took half of my pasta ;-). My pasta was better than her sandwich hehehe Unfortunately right before we left I did something really stupid and of course I told her what I did. Long story short I am having flowers delivered to her work. oh' well. The things we do for love ;-).

Friday night, and Sunday I ate more than I wanted too. But it could have been much much worse. If I was not trying to lose 22 pounds I would have eaten just fine. It was hard as heck not to over eat but I did manage. I should be eating more fruit and vegetables. I need to start taking vitamins again and does my son. My wife should too.

I think the high light of my weekend was taking a walk with my wife on Sunday.

I still have not made it to the gym, grrrr

cc

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

I think you did fine this weekend! Some splurges and yummy eating is what the weekends if for! Some healthy days during the week end up balancing it out. Aw how sweet of you to get your wife flowers! haha love that you watch Desperate Housewives! Did your wife sucker you into that? Hope you make it to the gym today!! Have a nice day! ~Lauren

Posted 5 months ago #
coffeeclub
Member

Yesterday went ok. I did not eat anything bad. But I did eat a lot for dinner. I much for about 3 hours. Then I went for a walk with my wife and I did not eat anymore.

Today, my class starts again. I got a A for the first half and I am hoping for an A in my second half too.

Well, I got up late. Kind of disappointed in how much I ate yesterday, so I am feeling a bit down on my luck. Did not have a lot of energy and kind of in the giving up mood. So did not bring any snacks to work. The good news is I already have a couple of snacks and some soup so I should be ok. But I still wish I had my pb&j sandwich

Still have not made it to the gym. I am going there on Thursday for sure. I am going right after work.

I am going to look to see if they posted the summer classes yet. I hope so.

I am thinking pancakes, eggs, and hash browns for dinner tonight.

ta ta everyone

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

I love breakfast for dinner! Yum! You've got to kick that guilt monster out of your life! Its ok to over eat occasionally..don't let it make you feel bad today! What are you studying? Hope you have a great day! ~L

Posted 5 months ago #
stopthemadness
Member

Hi coffee!! It's ok if you overate.. I get that feeling often.. however the main point is that you didn't binge!! So far I'm on day 7 of non binging.. I did overeat a couple times but it wasn't that full out binge stuff my face with everything in site til bloated and painful.. so I'm happy and that's all that matters. I think that I need to normalize my relationship with food before any weight loss happens.. and I hope it does. Well you look like you've been enjoying yourself and your food :]. Gl with the A in your class, awesome! I should be heading to the gym as well. What do you do at the gym?

-Emi

Posted 5 months ago #
cookiemonster
Member

Hey coffeeclub ! I think overeating is totally normal and definitely better than a full blown binge. I love breakfast for dinner. It seems you are eating foods that you enjoy which is super important for not feeling deprived. Its great you and your wife take walks together, youre sneaking in some extra activity and you spend some time together !

Posted 5 months ago #
coffeeclub
Member

Lauren, yeah that guilt feeling should go. I just have a goal and want to loose weight. So, I know the way I have been eating will make it harder to loose weight. Once I am down to my normal weight I will be good to go.

stopthemadness, ya I agree I would not call what I did a binge. I am glad to hear that you made it 7 days. I know exactly how hard it is not to binge. Food is sooooo good. mmmm food. Good luck normalizing your relationship with food, In the past I have been able to control my eating but I have not been able to normalize it. As for the gym I mainly stick to running, exercise bike and the Elliptical. I would like to lift weights but that is not too important to me. I much more concerned with my heart and blood flow.

cookiemonster, Yeah, breakfast, I mean dinner (hehehe) turned out good.

Well yesterday I finally made it to the gym. I am so happy. And I think it worked because I did not want to eat when I got home. I did not do a huge workout but I am still happy with the amount I did.

When I got home I made a a smoothie for myself and I helped my boy make one too.

School went ok yesterday. This is a 2 part class and for the first part I got an A. But when I took the final I did not do so good. But everything else I did else great which is why I got the A.

I was to get at least %90 on the final but I did really bad and I wanted to tell the teacher he was wrong.

Last night we got the final back and we went over the test in the class. After finding out the correct answers I still thought I should get some of them right. Anyway I just kept my mouth shut because no matter what the teacher was not going to change my answers to be correct anyway. Darn teachers, why do they always have to be right.

For dinner to night I am going to make a TGI Fajita skillet. I am also attempt to make loaded baked potato skins. I have a few idea's and I am going to test them tonight. I am going to have fat free cheese, fat free sour cream and bacon bits on mine. I will make my family the normal ones (without all the fat free stuff)

I plan to do a better workout after dinner tonight. I also need to finish watching the Biggest Loser. I had it on DVR but I feel asleep just as the cook off started. I feel so bad for the black team they should have gotten that spa package.

Coffee Club

Posted 5 months ago #
Louise
Member

You and your wife seem to have a great relationship. I am glad... my hubby and i used to take walks together. Can't walk anywhere here
Your food seems good, you're not depriving yourself, which i think is key. You're like me a bit, planning meals, always thinking what you can have next.. hope it doesn't take over every thought like it used to do with me..
Enjoy your gym owrkouts.. glad you manmaged to get down there.. ahhhhh i am enjoying a day rest from the gym, although hope to get loads of dancing in tonight at a salsa club
Where are you from/live?

Posted 5 months ago #
jent
Member

Hi Coffee -- Good job on your test. Good teachers don't always have to be right. I always admit when I have made a mistake with my students...it happens...we are human! Hope you have a nice St. Patty's!

Posted 5 months ago #
stopthemadness
Member

hooray for finishing the final! Tell me how that fat free meal turns out.. I think that is a great idea!

-Emi

Posted 5 months ago #
Julia
Member

Hey cc!! I just read through your posts...that must be really tough dealing with those manic stages, my last bf was manic depressive and we went through some tough times in january. but it sounds like your really getting a handle on things which is great!! Cooking is a great way to keep up healthy eating habits, cus then you know exactly what you're eating and it's really theraputic and rewarding.

keep posting and keepin up the good work!!

xxJulia

Posted 5 months ago #
Orion
Member

Hey there CC - Sounds like you're definitely fully aware of what triggers you and different ways to avoid it, which is one of the most important steps. Like Lauren said, I think that it's important to start integrating certain things that you would normally binge on into your diet. We binge because our bodies feel deprived of something, and by eating it regularly (and in moderate portions) you won't be as tempted to binge. This may sound extreme to you, but I have often cut myself a slice of cake and then immediately walked out my friend door and gone on a run or walk to remove myself from the situation. Sometimes I feel like turning around and getting more but if I just keep walking then after a while the feeling subsides, and I feel satisfied.

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Great job with your A!! Sounds like you had a nice day today! I know you want to lose weight, and thats fines, just make sure you are learning the skills to have a normal relationship with food for when this dieting time ends... You are doing great, keep it up! ~Lauren

Posted 5 months ago #
coffeeclub
Member

Louise - my relationship keeps getting better with my wife. You would think it is the other way around. But the older we get the more a like we become. MN

jent - My fourh grade teacher posted 2 new rules.

Rule #1 - The teacher is alwasy right
Rule #2 - If teacher is wrong look at rule #1

what a b1tc?

Julia - Manic states are really hard. It is hard on your life style and you family. I hope to stay away from them. I hope posting helps out. Thanks for relating.

Orion - mmm, reeses peanut butter cups. Maybe some day. I really hope so those are my favorite.

Lauren - not much to say about your comments. So I'll just say hi to you.

Well, yesterday I went to the gym and did everything that I wanted to. I ate great, no over eating.

I wrote a database that I thought I would not be able to write. No I just have to study for the class. grrr, I have better things to do than read a book and learn.

I plan to workout today and watch the Office and 30 rock. Still have to find out who was kicked off of the Biggest Loser. I made it to the weigh in. The last person I saw was mike. That's too bad about his grandma. Glad to see him back though.

Oh yeah, my boy is getting in trouble at school so I have to think of a way to curve that. All in all he is a good guy and we get a long very well. We are able to laugh and act silly together.

cc

Posted 5 months ago #
Lorena
Member

Hey there,

Just caught up with your journal. Wow from the beginning to now you have been doing so well, be so proud of yourself!!

You are eating great things and a great amount and good going on the candy bowl! Man i would fail right there lol. Have you ever seen Disneys Beauty and the Beast? If you have you'll know the bit when Belle and him eat soup and he literally has his face in the bowl, well thats how i would be hehe. I love candy.

Oh and tell me about the temptation at work!! I have loads too and it is a nightmare!!

Keep doing what you are doing coz you're doing great!!

Posted 5 months ago #
Lauren
Member

Hi Glad you had a great day!! Ha I like studying as much as you do...I think I'd rather clean, and we know thats saying a lot! Hey guess where I am??! Coffee shop Hmm hope you figure out a good way to get your boy in line at school. How old is he?

Posted 5 months ago #
coffeeclub
Member

Still eating too much but have made a lot of progress with not over eating. I starting running again but then a month ago I stopped. I want to start again but I have just to much going on. I hope next month to start running

Posted 1 week ago #
Zaina
Member

Hi CC, 1st time reading ur story , i like the fact that u dnt give up and ur always trying to fix everything
keep it up with the food ur doing great
yeah how old is ur kid ??
ur watching biggest looser ,which season are u watching ?? i wish they bring that show back to us ( i live in Jordan so we dnt watch the same seasons )

wish u the best of luck
Zaina

Posted 1 week ago #
Carmilla
Member

Hi Coffeeclub!

I have just been catching up, reading through your journal. Do you have to take meds all the time, or just when you are going through manic phases?

I used to find the food temptations at work very difficult to resist (at one point I used to spend a small fortune in the vending machines) - at least one benefit of being unemployed is that I don't have to face that temptation every day!

It's good that you are making progress with not overeating, even if you feel you are still eating a bit too much. I hope your good progress continues!

Carmilla xx

Posted 1 week ago #
coffeeclub
Member

yeah, I fall off the horse a lot but I have always picked myself back up. I hope I never give up for good.

The season is over. It sucked because I wanted to weigh less then the guy that one. At one point dunning the season I weighed less but at the end of the season I was bingeing. I don't remember what season it was. Next season I think you can go to NBC.COM and watch them.

I take daily meds it really helps Life was even harder when I was not on them.

We have a cafe at work it's really hard especially when I don't bring my own lunch.

I had watermelon with my Pizza yesterday so that was good. And dinner was not to healthy but I didn't over eat

My boy is 9

Posted 1 week ago #

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