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Bye bye BED – A Journal

Home Binge Eating Forum Eating Accountability Journal Bye bye BED – A Journal

This topic contains 93 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  quester 2 years, 2 months ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 94 total)
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  • #4961

    Smiley1980
    Participant

    Dear All,

    I just found out about this discussion board and so far I love it. I thought I would share my journey on here, since I don´t really have anybody to talk to or let´s say that understands me.

    I have been seeing a therapist for 2 years, but honestly I never really thought it helped even though she was great. It helped me with life, but it did not stop the binging. It was better at some times and worse at others. I was never convinced of any of the reasons we “made up” in therapy for my bingeing. I really don´t feel I binge cuz I am lonely, sad, happy etc. I just do it. I don´t even think about it. Nobody ever believed me and I have heard it over and over again “this takes time”.

    Honestly, I DON`T HAVE TIME! I started binge eating when I was 12 and now I am 31. How much longer? A good part of my life is over and I have wasted years with trying to figure my bingeing out. Actually I gave up, until I read this book:

    Brain over Binge

    Maybe now I can figure things out. We will see. Basically the authors says that we do not have a disease that we can´t control and that we do not need to figure out the real reasons for bingeing, since there may not even be any other than that we created a bad habit.

    I read her blog all night last night and I am giving this a shot. Combined with the approach in the book “Life without Ed” I will try to separate myself from my eating disorder and not binge.

    Since I am overweight and usually always on a diet, I will try to not focus on the diet for now. I would like to give myself a 21 day diet free time (they say it takes 21 days to create a new habit). My goal is to not binge, eat my three meals (I am not a snack person) and try to make the best choices for my body and soul (and my soal sometimes needs sweets).

    If I made the 21 days, I will think about getting ready to say good bye to my BED for good. But as of right now, I need a success quick, which means a short-term goal.

    If you want to join me, feel free!

    #93315

    quester
    Participant

    hey! I didn’t know about the 21 day thing. Is this your first day? I suppose it would be my first day as well … starting over, so perhaps we can both meet this goal. I hope you keep updating your journal to say how you’re getting along. I think the thing about binging being a habit is a good point. I suppose there comes a point when it’s just something you ‘do’ rather than it signifying anything in particular. Good luck! And I hope the day works out for you.

    #93316

    Smiley1980
    Participant

    Hi quester,

    Yes, after a couple of very bad days this is my first day. I am happy to have a “partner in crime”.

    I will update daily to let you know how you are doing. Do you have a journal as well?

    I am usually doing good all day and then screw it up at night, so I am hoping that I can just get through the first few days, then it will hopefully geht easier.

    I am excited that you are joining me.

    #93317

    Smiley1980
    Participant

    Man I binged today. It is so hard to take yourself serious about ending this, if I can´t even make it past 10 AM on day 1.

    I hope by writing this, I can look at this post every time I want to binge. So here are my thoughts on bingeing and things that I want to tell myself every time I binge:

    1) It satisfies first, but then you have to start from 0!

    2) The more often you give in to binges, the stronger the urges become!

    3) You only binge to shut up the urge and especially the noises in your head. They are not you and you can just listen to them, tell them to F… Off and move on!

    4) Binges will disappear quickly!

    5) Don´t fight your binges and let them mentally stress you out – just listen to them, tell yourself they are JUNK and go ahead living your life!

    6) Every binge promised me to feel better – but I never did in the long run.

    7) You have control over your body – even though your ED tells you to eat, YOU don´t have to, cuz you are the only person that can open the fridge for you.

    8) When you don´t give in you can´t fail.

    9) This feeling is just a craving, it is uncomfortable and intense, but it is NOT AN EMERGENCY

    10) I am not going to eat, cuz I want to strengthen my resistance muscle, not my giving in one.

    11) The only thing food can satisfy is hunger.

    12) If you are not hungry, food will never fix what you are looking for.

    13) And re the losing weight issue: If you focus on results you will never change, if you focus on change, you will get results.

    #93318

    eemslo
    Participant

    Smiley…that is BE in a nutshell. Well done.

    #93319

    quester
    Participant

    Hey Smiley! I’m sorry to hear things didn’t go so great today. I also messed up. I do have a journal. I have problems with food-picking. I like your list. I was thinking of messing up some more since I’ve already messed up today but I suppose you are right with #11 and #12 particularly. OK, so we messed up today but we don’t have to make it any worse right? Not sure what time it is where you are but stick to it! :D I think the list is a really great idea by the way. Maybe you could print it out and stick it on your wall. I think I ought to do something like that actually lol, if I didn’t think the cleaner or somebody would see it. Hm. Anyway, glad I caught sight of your journal just now. I was quite decided a minute ago to go screw up some more. :(

    #93320

    Smiley1980
    Participant

    quester I am glad my little chart was able to help you. Keep up the good work!!!

    #93321

    Smiley1980
    Participant

    So I just got back from the library an hour ago and picked up the book “rational recovery”. It is more for alcoholics, but I feel my eating is not so much about feelings rather than an addiction. I never really connected with the whole “you eat for emotional reasons”, even though it makes sense, but it does not feel right for me. My therapist said once to me I would better fit into the group of addicts. I have a very addictive personality and also the way I treat my eating disorder is just like an alcoholic/drug-addict treats his addiction. Ever since she said that I was relieved, that what I felt deep inside wasn´t complete BS. So that is one of the reasons, why I ended up with a book about recovering from drugs/drinking.

    To give you some more info about me:

    I can´t remember not having BED, so I guess it was just always around somehow. This also comes from me being on a diet all the time. I remember when I was around 10 and I asked my mom to cook diet food for me. I don´t blame my parents, they just tried to help me. But well, I am approx. 40 lbs (20 kg) overweight right now (needless to say I have lost that weight a couple of times and regained it every single time). I joint WW in December and lost 25 lbs, but gained 10 back so far. WW did make my BED even worse, since I cheated bad the days after weight in and went back to restrictive eating 3 days prior to weigh in.

    I just joined a gym two weeks ago since I want to get more active and once I overcome the shame of going to the gym (where all the fit and healthy people are) I feel great working out. So Monday, Wednesday and Friday are my gym days. I also just got a Yoga DVD. I did it once and I loved it, even though I was 100% sure, I would hate it. I am usually more a very energetic person.

    When I drove home from the book store, while stuffing my face with candy, I passed this young girl who was running. I LOVE running. I usually (on my good days) am that girl. Yes, I am overweight, but I can run and I do it religiously. But now with the binging I just can´t move. I felt so sad looking at that girl and knowing, what price I am actually paying while bingeing. I am isolating me from life, from the things I love and from myself. I don´t want to binge, but my addiction wants me to. So it is time to take over control and to be in charge…

    #93322

    quester
    Participant

    Hey, well done on joining a gym! I think that’s awesome. I’d like to exercise here (I’m at university) but I am too embarrassed to go either to a gym or to do anything outside. It’s really lame. I was planning to go run outside for hours last night but in the end I didn’t even leave my room. It’s not quite the same trying to run on the spot. I can imagine the WW situation must have been quite bad with that pattern you had going on. Is there a reason you chose a Yoga DVD? Is that related to ‘mindfulness’? I think I read on another journal here, someone applying this approach to their eating. So really focusing on what they are eating, no distractions. Anyhow, I am not sure when you last ran but I am sure you can get back out there. I hope the book helps you out. I also see what you mean about it maybe being an addiction instead of emotional in your case. Do you think perhaps your binge today was a kind-of ‘HANG ON A SECOND THERE’ response to your decision not to do it again? Not sure, but if that contributed then maybe smaller goals would work … splitting up the 21, because 3 days definitely seems achievable. It’s always good to have the numbers going up once you get past Day #1. I’m not sure. Anyway, good luck Smiley! I think it’s also great that in your last post you were able to separate yourself from your urge to binge. I definitely think you can do it. Keep posting. :D

    #93323

    Smiley1980
    Participant

    Thanks so much Quester, actually you just made me think. The 21 days scare me. Not so much of being binge free, but I am scared to fail. Even though, if I choose to not fail, I will not. It is my body that moves from the couch to the fridge, so if I choose to not fail, I can make it. But I am still scared.

    I think you are right, smaller goals. 3 days. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. That should work. And that gives me a great feeling waking up Thursday and knowing I MADE IT.

    Quester why are you not going to a gym? Why are you embarrassed? I actually think, that (even we might think people look at us) they really only care about themselves. So I just went. I put my Ipod on and just do it. Even though, yes, I still feel like everybody is starring at me. But I mean, they can´t kill me, so I just do it.

    #93324

    Smiley1980
    Participant

    Oh and I forgot to reply to your Yoga question. Actually, I just adore those skinny Yoga girls. So I took a class a few weeks ago and after that class nothing could really make me binge. I was calm, I was listening to myself and I did not care what happens around me. So maybe I should incorporate that into my life some more.

    And if anybody tells me that is not a workout, I just show them the scorpion on google picture search LOL. That is my goal in like 2 years.

    #93325

    Smiley1980
    Participant

    So this morning I went to the gym and while being on the eliptical I started reading “Rational Recovery”. Very inspiring and eye opening.

    I came home and my husband wanted pizza. It was hard to say no, but I knew that I was looking forward to bread with avocado and dark chocolate as dessert all day. So I thought I would stick with my plan. Usually as soon as he wants pizza, I am set up to binge. I wait until he leaves the house, start eating whatever junk food I can find and then have the pizza with him. Sometimes even more junk food afterwards.

    Not to binge on my first of the 21 days is outstanding for me and a great accomplishment. Usually I just think “well you can start tomorrow, it is only day 1″.

    Hopefully it stays that way. I feel powerful!

    #93326

    Smiley1980
    Participant

    Day 3 binge free. Today is kinda hard. We have a lot of ice cream (my favorite binge food) at home. I thought I need to stop forbidding my husband to buy his favorite foods. I know, I can do it. So today is the first day with lots of junk food at home. But I will make it, I can feel it.

    I try to really use this AVRT program. My BED is my addicitve voice and not MY voice. So I WILL NOT eat and it feels great. Maybe not right now, but tomorrow morning.

    I will start working on my bachelor thesis tonight and I finally have time for this. Usually I am too busy eating…:(

    #93327

    Smiley1980
    Participant

    One more thing, that I need to get out there…

    I am usually not somebody that raves about books etc. but I finally have hope. I do not think anymore that we have a “disease” that we cannot completely overcome. I think we can! And I think that one of the problems therapy never worked for me was the message “relapse is expected”. I have been told from the start that BED will ALWAYS be my problem, I will ALWAYS need to work on the real reasons to overcome my BED and that I am most likely to relapse a lot. So there was my excuse I was looking for when eating. Well I relapse anyways, so I might as well just do it now.

    I dont think I ever met a therapist that said "Sure, you can completely overcome your BED." So I always felt like "whats the point of not binging now, if I do it next week anyways”.

    I do think the author of “binge over brain” really had a point there. We can ovecome it and we can overcome it for good. We are responsible for our cure though. Nobody can make us relapse if we don`t want to.

    #93328

    Smiley1980
    Participant

    I just deleted all my calorie count, diet, weight tracker etc. apps. Tough one!!! I relied on these things for too long, but a few people here made me see who much damage I actually do to myself.

    It is like an endless circle of trying to lose weight, then bingeing “only for one day” (so the plan), being caught in being for a few more days, going back on the diet…and so on…

    I do need to lose weight. I am not in a healthy weight range, not obese, but really not healthy and I just don`t feel good. But I think just focung on nourishing my body instead of restricting and then going overboard once a week seems better to me.

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