A few years ago, when I was in year 9 at highschool, I went through a really bad phase of depression which caused me to go to food for comfort. Before I had always been a healthy weight and was never bothered by food. I gained 14kg in 2 years, and I absolutely hated it.
I decided to go on a diet, but I didn't know what I was doing and it was very unhealthy; I think I actually suffered from anorexia for a while. I also became vegetarian, and that coupled with a calorie restricted diet caused me to lose 16kg at a very unhealthy rate.
Because I restricted my intake of food, I was hungry a lot of the time, but refusing to let myself eat. When I reached my desired weight goal, I attempted to stop the diet. I built back the muscle I lost with exercise, and drank lots of milk (for bone density), once I realised what I had done to my body.
Unfortunately the comfort eating and then the diet has resulted in me now having a binge eating disorder. It was caused partially by the comfort eating and the diet, but also because I suffer badly from stress, and a bit from depression.
I'm still at a reasonable weight, but I'm slowly gaining it again, and the more I gain, the unhappier I am, plus the more I have to lose. I've made a list of things for me to do when I feel like binging, but I always forget about it, it's like autopilot, as so many other people say. And the feeling of disgust and self hate afterwards doesn't help with depression one bit.
I always binge at dinner (every day), or if I get back from uni around lunch time or after. The day after binging, I feel so guilty I can't bring myself to eat a proper breakfast or lunch, even though I know that's a bad idea. I hate food! I like eating small amounts of food, I HATE having it constantly on my mind, and having a BINGE EATING DISORDER... it's so embarassing, I feel so bad about not having the control to stop.
Is there any techniques you know of, or have tried, to make yourself think about what you're doing before a binge- to remember the steps, remember the list you made, remember that you're probably NOT actually hungry? Any tips to STOP eating once you've had the correct amount? Do you think I can get rid of this disorder if I can't get rid of my stress and depression? The binging is basically emotional eating, if I can't get rid of the stress and depression... I might not be able to kick this disorder.
I'm considering seeing a GP (general practitioner... aka Doctor) about it, but I'm not sure. A lot of the articles on the internet are no help, they're just scammy and want you to buy things. I just really want to be normal...
