Tips to stop binge eating, stop overeating, stop emotional eating, stop eating fast food, stop eating junk food
Alice Down the Rabbit Hole
Home › Binge Eating Forum › Binge Eating Support – General Comments, Questions, and Posts › Alice Down the Rabbit Hole
May 31, 2012 at 4:49 am #5186
This is my new journal. I’ve been lurking around for a couple weeks, writing here and there, but I thought I needed a consistent place to journal. I will write down my success and my inevitable let downs here. I want to explore why I eat the way that I do. I hope I can intercept my thoughts of overeating in time to think of a corrective solution.
This is my first full day back after a week long family reunion. I have a small family, but the damage the food did was big. I am terrified of getting on a scale. My boyfriend tried to make me feel better when I confessed to how much sugar I had really eaten on this trip. He said I look “skinnier.” I am so tired of him telling me what I want to hear, and everyone for that matter. He really doesn’t understand what it’s like in my head. He told me for the first time last night, “I’m just tired of talking about food, Alice” You think I’m not tired of talking about food?! I am SO tired of talking about food.
I am trying something new this week. I want to eat approximately 1300 calories. I’ve tried 1200 before and it wasn’t sustainable for longer than a few days. I will also try not to eat less than 1200… If I try to eat so little, I just feel awful. I have no energy! I have been exercising for a few years now. Off and on pretty consistently, I go a few times a week. I have tried mostly cardio, mostly weight resistance, going almost every day of the week, taking classes… nothing takes the weight off. I just don’t want to put out the effort anymore. I have heard that weight loss is 80% diet and 20% exercise. So, my diet is really where I have to pay attention if I want to see results. I have also read it’s beneficial to spread your calories steadily throughout the day instead of just in a couple of sittings. Although, it does look like I snack A LOT in my diaries. If I don’t snack, my meals turn HUGE. I’m at a loss for weight loss.
I’d love someone to hold me accountable to the food logs I put down here. If something doesn’t look good, tell me. I have few fears greater than gaining weight. I am not fat. I would just like to say that. I need to put into perspective for any readers what my starting point is. I don’t want to say my weight… I’m so tired of even thinking about it. Basically, depending on what you read, I have a “normal” BMI to an “overweight” BMI. But because I suffer from severe food issues, I never feel comfortable. I feel like I bulge and wobble all the time and I fucking hate it! I am a 5”3 female of 23, so I would see a great deal of progress if I could lose even as little as 5 lbs.
The power that any permanent weight loss could give me would be amazing. If I don’t see a difference in a week, or maybe more, I will come up with a new eating plan. Although, I think I will try to avoid the scale for a few weeks to avoid feeling down after all the damage I have been doing lately… I’ll clarify my food diaries a little. I do not count: water, black coffee, unsweetened tea, 0 cal condiments, 0 cal cooking spray, any lettuces, or sugar free gum. That being said, here is what today looked like (times are approximated, as are the calories of things such as fruits and veggies, although they are quite accurate):
Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs on toast (230) -915am
Snack: Mini popcorn bag (100) -12pm
Lunch: Tuna on toast, ½ cup vegetarian baked beans, ½ cup veggies with sauce (355) -115pm
Snacks: Apple (80) -3pm
Edamame (110) -430pm
½ cup fat free cottage cheese with ½ serving of crackers (135) -515pm
Date with slice of pastrami (30) -630pm
Dinner: Protein smoothie (250) – 9pm
Total: 1,290 calories
See all of the obsessive time and effort I put towards food and weight loss?? This is so tiring. I’m just worried that if I don’t obsess, I’ll never lose weight. Or worse, I will binge into obesity. I’d love if some people were brave enough to share their own struggles underneath this entry! That is, if you stuck with me and read this novel of an entry… Or maybe you even have some advice for me? Hungry already.
I am hoping to come to a balance in a few weeks where I don’t have to try so hard. Sometimes it feels like this is all I do.
-Falling down the rabbit hole, Alice.May 31, 2012 at 11:17 am #94812
This so reminds me of me I lay out my food diary like this with the calories in the brackets lol. That was a really good day you should be proud, just think you have done it once and you can do it again . I don’t count diet drinks, sugar free gum and squash its so obsessive and really makes no difference to your weight.June 1, 2012 at 5:44 am #94813
Another binge free day. It was hard though. There was some temptation, I tell you. Cereal is the end of me and I didn’t eat any. I am hungry, but a little cereal and milk is going to turn into a lot so it’s best to just not start. Ugh. I am binge free but kind of grumpy for some reason so I’ll keep it short for a change.
Failure, what doesn’t make a difference to your weight? Counting things like gum? Or just this counting altogether?
Anyway, here was today… I don’t much like that I had Panda Express, but I had the healthiest options, so that makes it better maybe?
Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs in a wrap, 1/2 slice swiss, 3 slices pastrami, 1/2 grapefruit (300) -915am
Snack: Apple (80) -12pm
Lunch: Chicken sausage in a wrap, 1/2 cup shelled pistachios, 1/2 cup veggies with sauce, 1 serving beef jerky (485) -3pm
Dinner: 1 serving Panda Express mushroom chicken, 1/2 serving Panda Express broccoli beef (350) -7pm
Snack: Apple (80) 10pm
Total: 1,295 calories
I have noticed that I have to really restrict my day if I want to drink alcohol. That’s a fucking bummer. I turned down champagne last night and an amazing dark beer tonight. It is so hard to keep track of the calories in booze… Too stressful to attempt just yet. I have to measure everything. I feel fucking grumpy. Everything is making me angry today, Maybe it’s because I haven’t gone to the gym in weeks… I feel kind of like a sack of fat right now. I bet I’ll feel better tomorrow. Just thought I’d be really honest with how I am right now.
I don’t believe I can shed pounds by not eating as much as I normally do, even without binging. I feel like I will always be bigger than I want to be. The laws of weight loss just do not apply to me. On that note… Any weight loss tips? I don’t think I can eat less that I am now without binging or just feeling downright depressed. I think I just feel bad that ate Panda Express. I feel like I broke a rule… But I ate within my limit today so I should feel good… but no, I am upset with myself because I haven’t being drinking nearly enough water and I ate fast food. I am so mad at myself right now. I feel like I am always going to be this way. I need some inspiration. Wish me luck tomorrow. I’m going in for 1300 day 3.
-Never good enough, AliceJune 1, 2012 at 8:24 pm #94814
I think your in a bad mood because you are obsessing and not eating enough. Maybe you’re hungry but won’t allow yourself anymore because you’re at your limitJune 2, 2012 at 5:01 am #94815
Thanks for your response, Melmo. You are probably right about why I was in a bad mood last night. I am 100% obsessing. I have been told that food diaries are really helpful for those who need to lose weight. That doesn’t necessarily mean counting calories, but I think for now it is helping me. One of my problems is that somewhere along the road, I lost touch with foods purpose. It is for fuel, and some enjoyment. I eat out of boredom, or emotions, or sometimes just because. I have a short term goal to keep up my new eating plan for at least a week. I didn’t binge often to begin with and I haven’t had many strong urges so far this week. I see that as a success!
As for how today went, I completed day 3 binge free! Looking back, there were way too many carbohydrates for me to feel great about, however they were all whole grains. I also had a frozen ready meal, which also aren’t great. I’m just being hard on myself. I can’t be perfect, so I’ll stop trying to find reasons to be mad at myself. The goal is to not overeat, not to make certain food items the enemy. Still haven’t exercised. I’ll get to that this week hopefully. It’s hard to start once you’ve stopped for awhile, isn’t it?
Breakfast: 1/2 oatmeal with a banana (255) -930am
Lunch: 1 Kashi blueberry waffle with syrup, Kashi pesto pasta primavera with 1 serving turkey pepperoni (450) -115pm
Snacks: 2 dates (40) -315pm
1 hard boiled egg (70) -5pm
Dinner: 2 salad wraps, orange (385) -715pm
Dessert: 1 Kashi blueberry waffle with syrup (90) -1030pm
Total: 1,190 calories
In case anyone is curious why I put my food diary here, it is because I feel that I don’t have healthy influences in my life, diet wise. I’m using the diaries as a reference to make sure I am getting all of the food groups. I am also wondering if certain foods change how I feel.
My boyfriend eats mostly junk, my 3 female roommates restrict their diets and work out. One of them confessed she doesn’t go like to even go over 1100 calories in a day. Another roommate let me peek at her diet plan and it looked so dismal! Breakfast, yogurt, Lunch, 15 crackers, Dinner, rice with fish. I mean… really. And she runs every morning… It’s no wonder I have no clue what normal looks like. They make me feel like the cow of the household! I am no cow.
I didn’t feel very hungry today, that’s a good sign. That means I ate enough of the belly filling stuff, like greens and protein and I still managed to fit in “dessert.” I’ll check back in tomorrow for almost a week binge free. Still ignoring the scales!
-A satisfied, AliceJune 2, 2012 at 5:46 pm #94816
I think we all obsess…I know I do. I used to only allow myself 1200 cals a day. If I went over even a little bit, I would often say, “well, I fucked up today, might aswell just eat what I want and start over tomorrow!” it’s kind of messed up.
Even if I am really hungry, I wouldn’t allow myself to eat because I would go over my “Calorie budget”.
I know that eating healthier and not counting calories has put me in a much better mood in the last week and a half.
Oh, and I like to log what I eat too, even if I’m not counting calories, it helps to look back and see how I did. Although sometimes I obsess yet again about how many carbs/sugar I have eaten etc. Using myfitnesspal(calorie counter) it would tell me I was over my sugar limit just from eating 2 pieces of fruit, it made me obsess more and I was always trying to be perfect. I too have to constantly remind myself that I will never be perfect and I have to stop trying to be. All I need to do is STOP BINGEING! and eat foods that will fuel my body and won’t make me sick (Which can be hard sometimes because I am gluten intolerant and working on finding out other foods that don’t agree with me )
Good luckJune 2, 2012 at 11:01 pm #94817
Hi Alice. I loved everything you’ve been writing in my journal, so I thought I’d come and check out yours. Great job at staying binge free for 3 days! And obviously, you’ve been working really hard, which I admire. Based on what you’ve written so far, I feel like you have a very negative thought cycle, just regarding the way you view yourself and your achievements. I know you’ve probably heard this before, but I’m serious when I say don’t be too hard on yourself. I’ve found for myself that one of the best things to do is treat yourself the way you’d treat your best friend. Don’t point out your mistakes! Focus on everything you did right and congratulate yourself! And if you do mess up, don’t let yourself feel like a failure, because you’re not and everyone makes mistakes. Instead, comfort yourself and just think about what you can do to feel better (and i mean really feel better, because you know bingeing will just make you feel worse.)
If counting calories is what works for you, especially in the beginning, then I won’t try to discourage you, especially since you’re not eating an obscenely low amount. But obviously, it’s stressful and tiring, and it prevents you from eating some things just because you don’t know the calorie count. So this isn’t something you’ll be able to keep up forever, right? It can also be really difficult to figure out how many to eat everyday, since you want to lose weight, but you also need to feed yourself. What I eventually started doing, even though I was super hesitant at first, was I stopped counting calories. Instead, I tried listening very carefully to my body. I’d eat when I felt hungry, and stop once I felt satisfied. As stupidly simple as that sounds, it works. Because our bodies tend to know what’s best for us, and they want us to stay at whatever weight is healthiest for us. By doing that and adding in some exercise, you’ll speed up your metabolism and hopefully lose some weight! Also, don’t be freaked out if you eat a lot one day and very little another day. Sometimes, we just need more energy, and as long as we physically felt hunger for the food, it won’t make us fat. That’s my theory anyway!
Good luck and make sure you keep journaling both the good and bad days!June 3, 2012 at 1:02 am #94818
Wow Rainbows, I really like you comments!
Especially this ” Instead, I tried listening very carefully to my body. I’d eat when I felt hungry, and stop once I felt satisfied.”
Q: How do you “stop once I felt satisfied.”?
I have had trouble with this part. I have a hard time trusting myself to know when to stop.
ThanksJune 3, 2012 at 6:11 am #94819
Day 3 I ate 1,290, not 1,290.
Totally not a big difference, but I told myself (and my therapist) I would try not to go lower than 1200. So, for my reference and anyone who cares, there ya go. 1290.
Thank you all for your posts! I really appreciate your time to say something.
Rainbows, you have some true hard hitting words there! It is very stressful for me to count everything. I get really worked up if I think I made a mistake. For example, I just read that my tea has “candied fruit” as an ingredient. Does that mean sugar? Does that mean I have to count it and that I haven’t been these past four days and that my calories are all wrong??? It is so petty. I am really going to attempt not to worry about it. I’ll drink the tea until I run out of leaves at least. I won’t bother worrying about it anymore. I just cannot.
Counting everything and making sure I never exceed 1300 is NOT a sustainable plan. You are right and I suppose I do know that, I was just hoping I could keep it up long enough to see results. I want to lose so badly. I don’t feel that I am mentally healthy all of the time because I think about it so much. But then I rationalize and say to myself that I am a female and all females obsess about how they look. Eventually, sooner than later, I am going to have to venture into a counting free zone. I will try to eat modestly and wisely when I am unable to count. I suppose I’ll log it. Maybe I’ll try to estimate calories. It’s all very complicated for me right now. I can imagine how I sound. I hate it when my friends whine to me about calories. I’m like, “Shut up, you’re not the fat one!”
Negative thought cycles indeed. I am going to have to take your post and put it in my brain for a few days. I have to chew on all of the things you’ve said. I’ve gone on a bit of a tangent. Thank you though, I need a reality check now and again.
Melmo, you should check out a really long post I put on the topic about 1200 calories being enough, if you haven’t already checked it out yet. I wrote a lot about what you mentioned in your reply there. I also keep my journal to reflect, like you do. I find it really helpful to see if I have gotten a fair bit of all of the food groups. I don’t have any food sensitivities or allergies that I know of, but I bet it is frustrating for you to experience all of that. My sympathies!
Overtheedge, if your question applies to me too, I have a couple tips that are working for me so far. Because I am only eating around a certain amount of calories everyday, I am learning the value of everything I eat. Some foods I get more bang for my buck than others. Like, an egg will keep me fuller than a slice of bread, but the bread has 30 more calories. My determination is also keeping me satisfied. We will see how long that lasts. I am hoping that if I break my 1300 day it will only be by a little and I won’t see it as an excuse to keep at it.
Day 4, binge and dessert free.
Breakfast: Protein smoothie (300) -10am
Snack: 1 hard boiled egg (70) -1230pm
Lunch: Ham and swiss sandwich, 1/2 cup vegetarian baked beans (460) -230pm
Snack: Small salad (45) -6pm
Dinner: Ihop simple and fit chicken sandwich (390) -8pm
Snack: 1 date (20) -11pm
Total: 1,285 calories
You can really eat a lot for that many calories, it’s surprising. Didn’t feel a lot of hunger today either, except a little right before meals. Something I am trying to let go of though is the fluidity of calories. I find myself fitting in all I can, to eat as much as I can without going over the limit. Point blank, calories aren’t an exact science. It is not possible to be perfect, all I can do is my best. I am already feeling squeamish thinking about the possibility of all my calculations being wrong.
I’m gonna let that go. Fly away bad thoughts! Today was fine. It was just fine. I ate out, which I planned ahead for. Ihop is a terrible place to eat but I like the simple and fit options, they calm my anxiety! I do feel really good about this journal so far. I’ve kept food diaries before but they always got so depressing that I felt I had to stop. I mean, who wants to write down: 1 bottle of wine, 1/2 jar peanut butter, 1/2 box cereal? No one, that’s who. But that isn’t me anymore! I feel myself relaxing a little. A. Little.
-A little, Alice
P.S. I love the protein smoothies I have been crafting! They are supremely delicious and I believe that they are very supportive to not overeating. This is because they are so low cal that they can make you feel full with the long lasting satiety powers of protein! If anyone wants me to write down how I make it, I’d be glad to. It’s pretty simple. Goodnight.June 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm #94820
Overtheedge: I know, stopping when you’re satisfied can be one of the hardest things, and it took me forever to be able to do it consistently. I think the hardest part, though, is not eating until you feel hungry. Because binges tend to happen if i start eating when i’m not really hungry, because then I won’t be able to tell when I become satisfied, because I already was to begin with. Does that makes sense? On the other hand, don’t force yourself to feel starving before you eat, because that will probably lessen your ability to think rationally in deciding how much you need.
The number one clue I use is how good the food tastes. First of all, make sure that you’re eating food that you genuinely enjoy, because you deserve to enjoy your meals. Also, if you are having a good experience with the taste, then you will be able to tell the difference once it doesn’t taste as good anymore. Eat slowly, breathing in between each bite, and actually savoring how delicious your food is. Because think about it, we eat so much in such little time, but are we even enjoying that food while we eat it? or are we just going numb and stuffing it in? Anyway, once you notice that it’s not as exciting as before, you’ve probably eaten all that your body needs.
hopefully this helps anyone who reads it! And Alice, I’m really glad you were able to get something out of my words. It’s just as helpful to write them down for me as it is for you.June 4, 2012 at 2:45 am #94821
Hi Alice and Rainbows!
Rainbows, Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with stopping when you are satisfied.
You really helped me!
I so appreciate this
Apparently this area has been muddled for me.
You have helped clarify things.
I’ve stopped binging (63 days now, Yay me!) and have to learn how to eat with my body not against it, I suppose you could say.
This is all new for me.
In your experience with food, did you ever eat to get more of something that you felt that you didn’t have that really was not about food?
Any other input would be awesome.
I hope you are both enjoying your day.June 4, 2012 at 3:44 am #94822
I did not eat any veggies today! Unless you count 2 tablespoons of salsa verde haha. Oh well. Each time I feel like eating, I try to eat something that I will enjoy, so I don’t “make up” for it later with a binge. This doesn’t work out great all of the time because I will never crave veggies! I am still keeping up with 1300, which was the plan. Hooray for that, the goal was set for at least a week. The first couple of days I was feeling a bit hungry but now I am not so much. I think I have been afraid of being hungry in the past. Especially right before I have to leave the house I find myself fitting in more food to prepare for hunger ahead of time. I did that a bit today before work, but I didn’t over eat later, so I suppose that’s ok. I read a really good tip recently on banishing afternoon hunger! It’s sort of old news, but it is worth mentioning.
Eat a big breakfast! Eat about the same calorie wise as you would for lunch. For most people that is probably around 300-600 some calories or more. Not long ago I used to try to eat as little at breakfast as possible. I figured that if I ate less, I would weigh less! Not quite as simple as all that. I never realized that not eating enough (a bowl of oatmeal maybe) led me to want to binge later. Now I eat double what I used to for breakfast. Consequently, I am still hungry for snacks and lunch but I am okay with eating less. It’s true what they say, keep hunger at bay, eat all day. That probably isn’t a saying, but maybe it should be. Splitting up what I eat in a day really helps me not feel starving. I still have good sized meals, but I don’t make then so big that I can’t afford a nice breakfast and some snacks. Hoping that’s helpful to anyone out there who is like me! What tips and tricks do you all have to keep your mindless munching at bay?
Breakfast: ½ cup oatmeal with Ihop fresh fruit, 1 hard boiled egg (300) -10am
Snacks: 1/2 cup shelled pistachios, 2 dates (200) -1145am
Lunch: Chicken sausage with wrap, 1/2 cup vegetarian refried beans with salsa in tortilla (385) -215pm
Snack: 1 serving lentil crackers with hummus (160) -8pm
Dinner: Protein smoothie (255) -915pm
Total: 1,300 calories
Still keeping strong, I didn’t eat the unhealthy snacks in the break room today. Small victories, you know. Thanks for everyone’s continual support. I can definitely tell when I am hungry and when I am craving something now. Although… I am not always sure what to do when I am craving something, even if I know I am not hungry?
Tomorrow is really going to be a challenge because I’ll be busier than usual and under a lot of stress throughout the long day. I have to wake up a couple hours earlier than I am used to doing… Waking up earlier makes the day longer and harder to get through binge free! I am worried about messing up, because then I will have to come to the forum and confess to everyone. I’ll try to stay strong and plan my meals ahead of time. Maybe I’ll even eat a vegetable, who knows.
- A veggieless, AliceJune 4, 2012 at 4:36 am #94823
I say Carrots!June 4, 2012 at 7:32 am #94824
I love your saying ‘keep hunger at bay eat all day’ – this is so true. When I was really obssessing over dieting, I used to feel like I’d eaten waaay too much if I had a few snacks, even though they were just fruit. But I know that eating little and often works pretty well for me, as then you’re not facing yourself with more extended periods without food, but keeping continuously topped up
And what you said about not eating the unhealthy snacks – remember that you do deserve a treat now and again, in moderation! If you don’t allow yourself to have these things, then your desire for them is going to gradually build and build until it overflows into a binge. I know it’s so daunting eating something ‘unhealthy’ because it’s usually a trigger for a binge in itself, but we can’t avoid these unhealthy things forever, so it is best to face it straight on and say to yourself something like ‘I’ll have this biscuit, but that’s fine, no need for anything else’. I think you should try to relax your calorie plan a little more – remember that beating the binge should come before dieting. Losing weight is often a natural consequence of remaining binge free
Good luck with your day – you’re doing so well, keep it up!June 5, 2012 at 5:33 am #94825
Hi Kit. I thought I heard that the more you indulge in something, the more you will crave it. I used to eat fast food a lot a few years ago and gradually stopped. I’ll still go occasionally, actually, I just order the “healthy” things. I also don’t find chips as tempting as they used to be. I am afraid to even start again. I think the things that I do really want to eat all the time are things like cupcakes… I love it. I love eating a rich cupcake slathered in the sweetest icing… Luckily those aren’t as easy to come by, because not any cupcake will do. It hard to say yes to these urges because the thing I really want is in the neighborhood of 650 calories or more. Is that a treat? So many things for me to work through… I did manage to eat peanut butter today, in moderation. That is a hard one. I plan to relax a bit on my calorie counting. I had a 1 week plan. Tomorrow is the last day. I am not sure what to do now though because I still want to lose weight! Help?
Breakfast: French toast with peanut butter and syrup (400) -815am
Snack: 1 hard boiled egg (70) -1215pm
Lunch: Kashi pesto pasta primavera with 1 serving turkey pepperoni, apple (440) -245pm
Snacks: 3 dates wrapped in 3 slices of ham (90) -330pm
Beef Jerky (60) -730pm
Dinner: 1/2 cup broccoli with laughing cow cheese, protein smoothie (221) -1030pm
Total: 1,281 calories
After tomorrow I will have kept this up for one week! I think the reason why I have done so well is because it has been a rare busy week for me. I haven’t had the chance to see my boyfriend much because he lives about 35 minutes away. When I go and stay with him I don’t know what how many calories are in anything so, I just eat and eat! He also has cereal which can get really tempting.
Recently I find myself almost being sad that I can’t binge. What is that? It isn’t a craving exactly. It is sort of like an ache… I wonder if I should ignore it or indulge myself sooner or later. By looking at my food diary, I don’t see any restrictions… I eat plenty of binge worthy things. Pasta, cheese, french toast… I think I just want to eat more than 440 calories in one serving. It is all going so well though.
Perhaps the day after tomorrow I will weigh in and see where I am at. I’ll maybe take my measurements too because they are a bit more accurate. I don’t exactly know where I started from so I am worried it is going to be worse than I fear. I am hoping I see an improvement, but without much to compare it too, I can’t take it that seriously. I just really don’t want to get down on myself about it. Knowing myself, I probably won’t like what ever shows up on the scale. I don’t want all of this hard work to be wasted. Weight loss is slow, I should remind myself. 1 lb. a week would even be significant. I am worried just the same. Isn’t this what we all fear most? So what should I do after tomorrow? Keep going dieting for a few weeks and compare the results with the weigh in? Or should I relax a little?
-Weighing in, Alice
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
Recent Forum Posts
- JWRS on Never giving up trying….
- JWRS on Im back; in a good way:)
- MrLonely on Insomnia, tips?
- elizzy12345 on Insomnia, tips?
- MrLonely on Insomnia, tips?
- MrLonely on stone in a month
- MrLonely on Never giving up trying….
- MrLonely on Im back; in a good way:)
- Lauzy on Never giving up trying….
- Ilaria on Ilaria's Journal