A Work in Progress

[LydiaParticipant]

Well,

I have been around for about two weeks.

I was really excited about the prospect

of finding people who understand my situation

and can relate to it. I set my challenge for

three weeks, to stop binging or improve

heaps anyway. Well the first week went

really well and I was feeling a lot better like

a weight had been lifted then I went to my

friends house and it all went out the

window from there. I began to over eat again.

It’s very disappointing. I find in areas of my

life I just don’t want myself to achieve, I

sabotage myself, I put off things, I have so

much more potential then what I have

allowed myself. I question and doubt myself

constantly. I don’t want to gave that attitude

anymore I want positive and I want to just

enjoy food, enjoy the colours, smells, textures,

tastes and company. I want it to be normal

and not just a means to an end to my binge

fix because someone has hurt be, upset me

or I’m disappointed in myself or depressed.

I don’t want to treat myself with food either.

So now I have that off my chest I want to see

what I can do about it. I’m going to really

think about the food choices I make and

work out the triggers. Working towards a

lighter, carefree, energetic person.

Lydia.

[LydiaParticipant]

Today has been a better day. I have

realized I have let myself go. My eating

needs to get under control. I know that

some people don’t mind being bigger, they

are happy but for me it means that I am

out of control and I have arthritis and the

extra weight is not doing any good for

my joints, my feet are sore all the time and

I feel like a beached whale at the moment.

I don’t want that anymore. What I need to

focus on is not eating wheat and dairy and

I need to avoid eating sugar. This is stopping

me from doing stuff and enough is enough.

Today what I found helped was taking deep

breaths and saying I don’t need it, focused

within. It sounds silly but it actually worked.

Go figure!

Today I stopped when I was full and didn’t

eat too much sugar. My stomach doesn’t feel

so bloated! yay more tomorrow.

Lydia

[LydiaParticipant]

Hi again.

It’s been a couple of days and it seems

I’m back on track. I gave been exercising

more and making better choices. I looked

ip the diet for blood types and have

decided to avoid the food that it suggests.

I’m just sick of feeling so tired, not

having energy sucks. I also need to sleep

more. I went out for dinner last night and

had a great time, enjoyed the company and

the food and there was no embarrassment.

I ate and stopped when I was full. It was

so nice for a change. Tonight I made good

choices to. I hope this keeps up. My stomach

is not so bloated today or painful. I definately

need to avoid wheat and dairy!

A positive day, working on continuing it:-)

[drunkenteafightParticipant]

Congratulations – I’m so happy for you! It’s hard to get back on track after slipping up.

I also wanted to agree with the statement from your first post: “I find in areas of my

life I just don’t want myself to achieve, I sabotage myself, I put off things, I have so

much more potential then what I have allowed myself.” That’s exactly how I feel. I know that I can’t keep putting off the rest of my life – being a “normal happy healthy” person – until I curb this binge eating, but I constantly feel the urge to just hide from the world until I no longer feel fat and out of control.

[LydiaParticipant]

Hi Drunkenteafight!

Thanks for posting. Yes I just want to hide

a lot at the moment. But it’s just a endless

cycle isn’t it because when we are hiding

out we tend to eat more! Anyway still not

doing to bad although I ate chocolate cake

last night for someone’s birthday and now

my stomach is not loving me today! How do

we get out of that? When you feel obligated

to eat something when you really don’t want it.

Yesterday I was finding myself only wanting

good food yay more of that today I hope! x

[aliceautumnParticipant]

Hi Lydia. What things have you tried to get more control of your eating patterns? They seem to cause you a lot of heartache! I’m trying a food diary right now. It helps me eat healthfully as well as regularly. I have been known in the past to just eat 3 big meals a day that were mostly salt, sugar, and carbs. I am trying to replace some of these things with other food groups. It’s hard to not beat yourself up, but you will be more likely to conquer your obstacles when you are feeling good about yourself! Cake isn’t the enemy. What is the enemy is that part of you that convinces yourself that you will be happier when you eat more and more of it. Easier said than done. I try to talk myself out of eating every day. I am even a little hungry now haha. I’d love more than nothing than to stuff my face with some peanut butter but the feelings I know I’ll have afterward are forcing me to sit here without. Here’s to a better tomorrow.

-Alice

[LydiaParticipant]

Hi. Aliceautumn

Thanks for your inspiring words. The

reason why chocolate cake is bad is because

I’m wheat and dairy intolerant so it makes

me feel sick and makes me bloated.

I have prepared snacks for the when I’m

teaching so I don’t pig out on junk when I

get starving. That’s been ok so far.y attitude

is slowly evolving like today at lunch I had

Less and felt better for it. I even find

myself going for the healthier options it’s great.

I have so faro go but hey it’s a Start and I

will continue. I’m working on not letting

other people have a influence on me so I

don’t turn to food. We will see how that goes.

I think really focusing on one thing at a time

will help me get through this. x Lydia.

[LydiaParticipant]

Hi this is a one week update.

I can’t believe how far I have come.

Mainly my attitude. I have still over eaten

but it is different. I’m not purposely seeking

out food that makes me feel sick. I am now

asking myself if I really want it. I am also

trying ( if not always successful) to listen to

my body to see if iI’m full. It is a start. I also

Don’t feel so bloated which is awesome!

There is hope for me yet. So far to go but I

see a light at the end of the tunnel!!!!

xx

[LydiaParticipant]

Ok I had a binge last night which is bizarre

as I had just been out with friends and had

a really lovely time and said it’s great to see

you out again we have missed you ( I’ve been

hiding from the world and not joining in)

what didn’t help was I was extremely hung

over and all I wanted to eat was greasy food!

So had a full dinner but didn’t over eat then

headed home so it was about an hour and

a half between eating part of that walking,

then I popped into the shop to buy a tube of

pringles ( my downfall ) and 5 pieces of baklava.

Then continued home watched a movie and

ate the lot. It’s not the biggest binge I’ve ever

had but the point is I don’t think I was depressed

it’s like I don’t want myself to feel happy so I

better binge so Ill feel bad about myself again.

Anyway this morning I’m actually not beating

Myself up about instead I’m acknowledging

it but letting it go. I’m going to keep going

and try not to let it happen again. Plus I’m

feeling a little beta so I’m not going to let

One incident ruin it. I’m paying for it today

though my tummy is bloated again bloody

wheat! xx

[LydiaParticipant]

My goodness has it been a week already?

Well I’d like to say that I had a couple of

pretty bad days where I had a binge but

what I really like is that I stopped myself

from going way overboard. I find myself

making better choices and avoiding food

which makes me feel bloated which leads

me to binging. I have cut down on alcohol

as well which has helped. I haven’t lost a lot

if weight but I don’t feel so heavy and as

I feel results I’m determined to keep going.

Yay me. Let’s hope it continues and I’ve starting

dancing again which us fabulous I’m also

getting out there and trying to enjoy me more.

xx

[LydiaParticipant]

Today has been better. I didn’t eat any

crap. I did eat too much for dinner. I had a

second helping when I really didn’t need

it. So instead of feeling excited about

progress I feel let down that I finished

on a low point. I have started my dancing

and exercising more I hope i can see a

Difference soon or in just gonna cry!

Until next time.

[LydiaParticipant]

I just had a thought. The food is still going

to be there the next time I need to eat or

I’m truly hungry. I just ate brunch a left over

rice dish from last nights dinner and added

tomato, peppers and cabbage. I ate one

normal bowl and when I finished o wanted

to stop! That’s when it came to me that I

don’t need to eat more now I’m satisfied and

it will be there later when I’m hungry again.

xx

[Author]

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